{Friday Five} The "I can't stop talking about" edition

I loosely decided that I need to give myself some boundaries around Instagram otherwise I'm going to end up in an Instagram coma every morning.

Some mornings I go with D to work so there's no break, other mornings I read for a bit looking out the lounge window, with a cup of tea, and other mornings I decided I should write up a quick blog, like today.

So here we go: things I can't stop talking about:


goals
Oh my soul, I love talking goals, intentions, how to get at them, how to get better at them. It's my passion :)

Goals night is my favourite night of the month!



traffic in Jhb this year
I'm boring myself but honestly, I don't remember when last the traffic was this awful. I wised up after a few days and arrive at 9:30 - 10:00 these days and leave at 3.30 to miss the traffic. Even the 3.30 didn't work the other day :o

It's good but it means I'm mixing my lives (working at home) which I'm not a fan of, because I'm a clear compartmentaliser.


podcasts
As I typed that word, I thought I should write up a full post on Organising Queen because I've realised I have podcasts for a Friday, podcasts for the shower, podcasts for editing photos, podcasts for listening with D, podcasts for driving, podcasts for cooking and also, podcast topics I simply delete once I see the topic!

Any new podcast listeners? (I'm going to keep asking) This is year 3 for me.

books
Okay, to be fair, I've always talked a lot about books but I think the book club has accelerated my bookish-ness.


Also, you know my friend Se7en builds a library every year, right? Please see if you can donate a book or three. They are gifts to these kids (and over 1000 others) so should be in gift-condition or new. For my US friends, if you shop from Readers Warehouse, Takealot or Loot, they will deliver (for low minimums, completely free shipping!) directly to the address so it's no fuss!

Read more here!



Afrikaans
The kids started learning Afrikaans last year but it was very mild compared to this year. I'm the only one who actually speaks Afrikaans so I'm the one who has to listen to Gouelokkies being read a million times a week.

And that's it for today!

I'm looking forward to a quick lunch today and then.... weekend!

What can you not stop talking about?
Will you donate a book?

PS It feels like an orange day today so I looked through my favourites for orange pics :) Which is your favourite orange pic?

Health stuff and what I want more of this year

Okay, here's what I want more of this year.

Now, onto the health stuff.

1. I finally scheduled that extraction and implant simply because it had been hanging over my head, filling me with dread. Now at least I need only think of it the day before and the day of.... (currently 8 March)

I actually had it scheduled for 1 March but a conference came up and I have to go to this one because the alternative is farrrrrrrrr away. And you all know how I "love" driving. So no.

The most important item on my to-do list for today was my mammogram. I asked the doctor lots of questions and apparently, from age 40, you're supposed to go every year. Cancers grow aggressively if they develop between ages 40 and 50, so best to catch them quickly. This was my first one 🙈 and thankfully, everything's fine! 〰 #mammogram #planneraddict #planning #lists #health #womenshealth #happier2017 #annualscreening #selfcare

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@organisingqueen) on Jan 25, 2017 at 4:09am PST

 

2. Then I had a mammogram (my first! should have been my third!) in the last week of January. I spoke to the doctor and you're supposed to go every year from 40, and start earlier if you've had issues or have a family history. The biggest medical aid in SA only pays for 1 every 2nd year, but that doesn't change the health professionals' view, just by the way.

Oh, it was all clear!

3. This morning I have my annual gynae check-up and Pap smear. I think this is the least dreaded of the 3! This one was supposed to happen in December last year... I just ran out of time.

These 3 were on my list for the year and I'm going to be thrilled when they're all done!

In very sad news, a lady I used to work with who is a close friend of a friend of mine died at the end of January from breast cancer. Like me, she has two young kids (7 and 9) so it is very tragic, and to be honest, threw me completely when I heard the news!


How are you doing with your health things?

Bookish things and a January update

This year I'm really into getting specific about things and actually writing them down.

For example, I always have had a reading goal for each year and usually I make a goal to read some books off my physical bookshelf. That's solely to get through books otherwise they'll stay there for the next 10 years.

But this year I have lots of specifics. I'll share a few of them here:

• read 72 books
• at least 12 of them on Audible
• set up book club
• categorise all my Audible books on Goodreads
• read 10 physical books from my bookshelf
• re-listen to Better than Before, Overwhelmed, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (I LOVED THIS BOOK!), Marie Kondo (I now listen every year around my birthday) and Present over Perfect
• track my splits monthly instead of having to do the Big Counteroo at the end of the year

What are some of your bookish/ reading goals this year?

I heard someone on the internet say (or maybe it was an Instagram comment?) that they want to read fewer books but more quality, like if they can see it's a terrible book, stop and rather invest further time in a really good book.

On that note, I abandoned 4 books last year. This is AWESOME for me as I used to "push through" on everything. But I could always do better.

So maybe I should aim to abandon books faster? :)

But now for my January books.

In case anyone is interested, I take a screenshot from Goodreads website (it doesn't lay out nicely like this on the app), I email the pic to my phone (Picasa compresses it), then I use an app called Blur it free to blur out the books that may overlap from the previous month, email that pic back to my computer and insert it into the post. It sounds like a lot of steps but the whole thing takes about a minute :)

No. of books read: 8, 2 of them non-fiction
Physical: Kindle: Audible - 4: 3: 1
Enjoyed the most: Better than before (2nd reading), Chestnut Street and Love in the making

I'm fascinated by the ways other people consume their books. I definitely always have one going in the car and one on my bedside table but I also have a "Gautrain" book, which is a business-y/ career book from my physical bookshelf which I read on my way to see clients. I feel like I'm being paid for that travel time so might as well improve my business-y skills :)

Tell me about your book-reading ways, the books you read last month and which you enjoyed the most.

PS book club deserves its own post but it was awesome!
PPS these are all pics taken in January. Something I'm most pleased about with the kids is that they love to read and drink tea like me :) :)

{Friendship Friday} Favourite characteristics of your friends

I follow a podcast called the Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey (from Texas so she's got a really darling accent).

She does a Happy Half Hour every two weeks where she chats to people that have been on the podcast before but the half hour is just to talk about girl stuff :)

One of the questions she asks every guest on these half hours is this:

what are the favourite characteristics of your best friends?

It's so fun to hear what the various people say.

So I want to hear yours.

But of course, I'll share first.

1. They invite vulnerability. That means they share openly from their heart and so I feel like I can do the same. (fabulous quote on this very podcast: how can you love someone you don't know? - I think it was Lysa Terkeurst but don't quote me on that!)
2. They care about me and it shows. My love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service, and of course, these two do talk "more" to me but I love when I can see care in whatever form.
3. Reciprocity of initiative and effort. I'm not a tit for tat girl and I know that I make a lot of effort but what I do need is some initiative and reciprocity. I just have healthier relationships with people who also reciprocate.

Over to you!

Tell me 3 of your friends' favourite characteristics!

Trump, the inauguration, womens's march, Christianity and all the things

These last few months have been very disturbing to me.

• Obviously I was distraught and unsettled when Trump won the election and I still can't believe it happened.
• And then there were some voices I followed with a reminder that God is still on the throne and He is to be looked at, not man.
• This is why I put up Christmas so early. I needed some JOY in my life.
• That calmed me down and what also calmed me down was people praying and taking action in volunteering, donating to causes they believed in and so on. 
• There was also enough distance (just over two months) that I was prepared to engage my logical brain and give the man a chance to do his stuff.

And then the inauguration happened.

That speech! I couldn't believe it. I'm not even American and I don't know that America. It felt so exclusionary towards everyone other than those who think like him.

Anyway, I didn't watch much after the formalities.



(by the way, years and years ago, I used to follow a marketing coach and she said on a teleseminar that she only employs American people as she doesn't want to send her money elsewhere. I stopped buying product from her there and then because I was so insulted. For the record, I send my money all over the world and I receive money from all over as gratefully. The speech left the same feeling with me, X 100)

But then, the next day, the Women's March.

I want to say this carefully. I am anti-abortion but if I were a resident in the US, I would have marched for all the other things. The Human Rights things - equality and decency and common human rights.

On this abortion matter... I am firmly anti-abortion... for ME. But who am I to tell you what to do with your body?

I have two friends, one online and one in real life, who have both had terminations. The online one's life was in danger had this not happened; the other had other issues going on and she was desperate. I still think had I been in her situation I would have done differently but how can I be sure? I have not walked those miles in her shoes.

So I believe the thing I am is a pro-choice anti-abortionist :)

If just on this one issue it is so complicated. imagine if we add all the issues at play.



Back to the women's march.

I read and follow a very wide spectrum of women on social media from all countries.

The clear democrats were very vocal with pictures and points of view, and got trolled in some of their comments. I read some and quickly realised this is a thing. Not even a March was about standing for things people can agree on. Everything is so nuanced.

One faction that was very quiet (during the march and the election cycle actually) was that of the white Christian woman.

I follow many of those ladies too.

My own church is also quiet. I don't know if it's just because this is the South African branch (there are US branches too) or if it's the same over there too.

But I want to know how people feel and more importantly, why.


Then one young lady posted something about being disturbed about all the divisiveness in the church, and in her comments, I saw links, followed those and read all that stuff.

You know how this goes.

Some of the Christians voted for Trump based on this abortion thing and nothing else.

I had no idea that this was so nuanced. As I said, if I were in the US, I would have marched but I'm still anti-abortion.

Are these either/ or positions? If so, why? Why can't you believe in everybody deserving dignity and equal rights, and decide that abortion is not for you?



It has gotten worse over the last week (I can't even comprehend!!!) and honestly, I'm staying off social media as much as I can because hours go by and I feel worse.

But still, I feel compelled to speak about these things.

By the way, not one South African I follow is talking about this stuff so I might be talking to myself. That's okay too.

Are you thinking about these things or are they far removed from you?

Okay, happy Sunday!

Extraction and implant

I'm busy with a post about Trump but I need to chat about my tooth quickly.

Remember last year I went to the dentist.

My (root canal) tooth came loose.

The emergency dentist cemented it but said she didn't know how long it would last.

So I had to make an appointment with my real dentist.

That was last Thursday.

Here's the thing:

The little root has fractured and is no longer strong enough to support my tooth.

They told me (the dental surgeon and my dentist) I have to have it extracted and an implant put in. Then my gum has to grow around this implant and they make me a new tooth and put that in, three months later. Oh my word.

I blocked it out because I heard "we will manage the pain" and "outpatient procedure" and I had that whooshing sound in my head...

(some of you know I hate dentists!)

The quote arrived today. R10 617. Medical aid rates provided you have that kind of money in your medical savings account.

I was drinking tea now and suddenly something feels funny in my mouth. I go check and that tooth is loose again. Not completely but in a day or so it will be completely loose.

So I guess this is urgent then.

I was googling and that is never a good idea. We know this but I have to know!

And all this talk of pain and recovery is freaking me out.

Tell me, have any of you had an implant? what was your experience?  

Grade 2!

I'm getting bored with myself.

You see, I keep saying "I can't believe it's been a week" and other such things, but yet I'm not changing my behaviour.

I'm re-listening to Better than Before, Gretchen Rubin's book on habits (highly recommended) and I clearly need to use the Strategy of Scheduling. Even though blogging is something I enjoy, I just don't get here unless I put it on my to-do list. So maybe that's what needs to happen.

But for now, let's talk about school.

So we've been back at school for a week already and it feels so much more chilled this year in terms of routines.

The kids are in different classes for the first time since pre-school and they don't seem to be missing their twins one bit.

Connor is with a firm teacher (which he needs) and Kendra is with a very soft and lovely teacher.

We had Parents Evening last night where the (new) principal spoke very briefly. We then went to our kids' separate classrooms. Suddenly the desks and chairs seem so small :)

We both met both teachers who seem friendlier than last year's teacher. There's a whatsapp group for the one class and the other class uses the notebook method.

What else?

Oh right, I love, love, love when the teachers say things that I have been saying because we all know the kids think the teachers know everything. So now I'm all Miss A and Miss W said you need 11 hours sleep a night, and so on and so on.

So that's school.

Did I tell you I saved about R1200 by buying my stationery on my own instead of the packs through the W stationers? And I am even more aware of time wastage than you are - I only made two trips "out of my way" but not really since the store is on the way home from work. Everything else from CNA and PnP.

Yes!

One surprising thing that has happened this year...

The kids have had breakfast every day AND have been eating all their lunch. I'm pleasantly surprised. Usually Connor tells me he's too busy playing and Kendra mostly eats but only if no breakfast.

We haven't changed anything that we're putting on the lunch - cheese/ peanut butter and a piece of fruit.

Oh, I follow an Irish athlete (after hearing her on a podcast) and she does this Overnight Oats. Oats with milk put in fridge. Take out the next morning, add fruit and eat.

I do oats with milk and cinnamon sugar. I leave the two bowls in the fridge (they LOVE this and I do too - it's my acts of service love language) and they can take it out and heat for 30 minutes. I'm not sure what the big fuss is because they don't even get other fruit put on the top but they LOVE it. Maybe they feel the love?

Okay, I have to listen to reading now.

What's surprised you about school this year?
Do you like your kids' teachers?

Currently.... in 15 minutes

Bringing you another old-school blog post (no pics) that I may or may not update this afternoon.

Reading....

A Maeve Binchy collection of short stories around a theme. This woman knew how to do a short story. I keep saying I don't even like short stories but she does them perfectly. Plenty of character development and plot so you don't feel anything is unsaid.

I want to discuss one of these for Book Club, it is that good :)

Listening

I'm catching up on all my podcasts but Se7en, you'll be happy to know I deleted a whole bunch too!

I'm also re-listening to Better than Before on Audible since it is the new year and a book about habit formation can only be good, right?

Doing

I've been doing the mother of all backups.

It started when I did my usual monthly photo backup and my external hard drive didn't have enough space.

Now, I know how this can go. You then postpone the buying and so on, and your computer crashes....

So I went onto Takealot and bought the first thing that looked like it could do the job.

R1000 later, it was only supposed to be delivered tomorrow but it was delivered yesterday morning (two days early!)

So one disc will keep photos, and the other will have Other (all my business stuff, all my online products - I think there are about 30 - I should check), personal, budgets, etc.

The photos finished earlier and I'm finishing off the other stuff.

I must say, it's so nice to have just a couple of hundred from this year, and I have a "use for blogging" folder with all organising/ goals type photos.


Planning

Book Club and a Happier Project I'm writing about tomorrow on Organising Queen. I want you all to join me if it sounds remotely interesting.

Decluttering

Nail polish. I'm going to insta at some point but I figured out I need about 24 nail polishes tops. I sorted them last night while cooking and there are many I didn't use/ used once. If you want some, let me know.

Alright, have to go fetch my Grade 2 babies! I can't wait to hear all the stories. Big kids are such fun :)

What are you reading, listening to, doing, planning and decluttering?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

I did something awesome this year - I decided to reach my reading goal early so I wasn't pushing to reach a goal around Christmas/ New Year and I could just chill and play with my workbooks instead.

I realise chill and goals may not go together for you, but they do for me :)

However, I just had a really good year of reading so I finished my goal months ahead of time.

For final nerdiness, I ended on 97 books. The best since I've been tracking through Goodreads or, my adult life.

My previous best in 2001 was 95 books.



There are two people who read here who read way more books than that last year. Please tell us how many pages you read please because I get some questions like that and I don't read short books. I read normal books. My average book length is 340 pages.

More stats:

2016 books
Audible	Kindle	Physical
14	44	39
Non-fiction	Fiction
24	73
25%	75%

This is probably the most non-fiction I've ever read in one year. Most of those were memoir-type books, which are my favourite non-fiction.



Longest book: Tara Road - Maeve Binchy (648 pages)

5* - 3 books: Stories I only tell my friends, Smart Money, Smart Kids and The Year of Living Danishly

 Please see if this Goodreads link works for you.

The bad book stuff? I abandoned a couple, one just a few days before the end of the year (!) and more than half done when I realised I actually don't care one iota about the characters.

I also read four 2* books but there you go.

And that's it!

Now, Terisha and I are starting a book club. I've extended the invitation to those who said they were interested on Instagram. If you're interested, let me know. We're meeting end Jan/ beginning Feb. Our first book is Big, Little Lies by Liane Moriarty.

We'll discuss everything at the first meeting.

Here's to a wonderful year of reading for us all!

WOOHOO!


PS the kids are 7.5 today!

A chatty, catch-up post about Christmas

I've had it on my list to write this post for a long time (over a week) and today I told myself before I tackle my budget, I need to do this.

So here goes:

Christmas 2016

In my craziness, I invited everybody! My one friend didn't end up coming but I did have a house of 12 people.

Let's focus on all the good things, shall we?

• Jesus is still the best Gift ever!
• It was a beautifully overcast and rainy day
• There was more than enough food (I had a little panic like was there going to be enough food?) and plenty left over. 
• The SIL and BIL only bought one present per child (this I've been trying to get right for the last 7 years!!!).
• The BIL ate food (super fussy) and plenty of it! Actually, I also think he's stopped smoking so that might be it.
• The BIL complimented my house.

We told everyone we're not buying gifts so they listened... but I ended up looking through the rapidly diminishing gift shelf and so the grannies got gifts from there, and I made some keyrings with beautiful glass beads for them too. The grannies felt awkward about that so maybe I should specify no BOUGHT gifts next time because D and I love food gifts :)

Because of the aforementioned amazing weather (that apparently only D and I enjoy!), there was no swimming and people left around 5.... which meant we went to church again at 6, and that was really nice.

I do have one question: why is it that a house full of people for my birthday (usually even more!) doesn't stress me out one little bit but a house full of people for Christmas does?



Christmas is now all packed away and my house was thoroughly cleaned that day, two days later and again when Nanny S came back to work.

My To Marcia, From Marcia gift this year was a devotional colouring book - super little to colour daily with a scripture reference and about a minute of reading. Really low-key and hopefully a habit I can keep up, as long as Nanny S doesn't pack it away like she does everything else.

How was your Christmas? What did you get up to? Do you exchange gifts? Do you go wild? Do you buy a gift for yourself?

The start of the 2016 wrap-up, Laura-style!

For those who don't know, I have this little side-hustle going on where I coach, do workshops and sell online programmes.

Anyway, I made a simple (Super Simple) booklet which, if I say so myself, is really good at helping you think through things to close off 2016 and start 2017 on the right note.

Go get your FREE copy here (and my time management purpose pack).

I do love a good planning session. In this pic...my diary, bullet journal, #letsdothis2017 mini workbook and underneath, my 2017 #shiningplanner. . It was during a session like this a few weeks ago where I realised I had some unrealistic expectations about socials! If you want to read more, click through on the www.organisingqueen.com blog and check it out. . #bulletjournal #bujo #bulletjournalcommunity #planners #planningcommunity #lists #diary #shiningyear

A photo posted by Marcia Francois (@organisingqueen) on Dec 14, 2016 at 8:18am PST

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Bought a house without selling the old one first! Um, I don't recommend it if you're the stressing over money type (I am!) but I still know this was the right thing to do.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't do new year's resolutions, but I do make goals. I wrote on someone's instagram recently that I love goals because you can set them anytime, you can start them anytime (right now!) and even if you make 2% progress, it's progress! Have I convinced you yet?

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Probably here at home.

I feel like I want to have people over like we did two years ago but I'm going to play it by ear and see how I'm feeling.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None and strangely, I don't feel bad about that at all.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A closer relationship with God and with D.




7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

 13 March 2016 - the date I first saw and fell in love with my house

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?


Staying sane. Seriously. Trying to work full-time with demanding clients, pack up one house, move into another all with the admin and paperwork and phone calls of navigating those purchases and sales = super stressful.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not a failure as such, but I do think our house was marketed at the wrong price at first and that meant it took longer to sell, and really, we could have got more if correctly priced and marketed. Then again, no point in looking back. One has to rely on the "experts" and we are not real estate experts.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
The numb toe

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The house. Okay, but besides that, my iphone 6 or how about my navy blue kitchen or Woolies beetroot crisps? :)

12. Where did most of your money go?

House, transfer and legal fees.............. and of course our biggest monthly expense is now the bond.

13. What song will always remind you of 2016?

Good good father - He is a really good Father!

Seen on my lunch time walk 💞 * #decemberreflections2016 #intheair #marciasdecember2016 #marcias52photowalksin2016

A photo posted by Marcia Francois (@marcia0608) on Dec 6, 2016 at 3:48am PST

 
14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Taken more walks. I have 6 left to reach my goal and I'm going to have to bribe the kids to come with me. The odd thing is we have such a great view and an interesting garden that I don't even feel like I need to venture outside to take a walk to see beauty. This is a great "problem" to have but does mean I'm not going to do this little project next year.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressed about the house sale

16. What were your favourite TV shows?
I don't watch TV...

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, thankfully.

18. What was the best book you read?
See previous post :) or this one

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm really not one for new music - I like my tried and tested things. But I will say I got into Bethel Music a whole lot this year.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Did I even watch anything?

21. What did you do on your birthday?
I had friends over for a delicious lunch and they spoiled me rotten :)

22. What kept you sane?
God, D and my Bible whatsapp group :)

23. Who did you miss?
I missed many friends who I've not seen as much this year.

24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016
That I can let go and I don't always have to initiate and drive friendship activities.

Who else is participating in this meme?

Let me know so I can come read your highlights.

Best books of 2016 and November reading

I think you can spot the 3 Christmas books in last month's "read" pile, can't you?

The best was the Maeve Binchy, of course. I don't even like short stories but she has a way of doing them so they are, in fact, complete stories and you're left satisfied with the result and you cared about the characters.

Other than that, I read my best book (most entertaining and pure enjoyment) of the year this month, Stories I only tell my friends, by Rob Lowe. Do yourself a favour and get it on Audible. You can thank me later.

(I wrote this post on making audible/ podcasts work for you - please read it)

I won't say too much here because I wrote a post on Organising Queen on my best books of the year!

Now that post should definitely be read.

How is your reading going? Are you chasing a 2016 goal or have you relaxed into holiday mode? (for me holiday mode is plenty of reading!)

Goodreads sent me a thing on around about the 10th to tell me about my year in books. Um, sorry, I'm still a good 20 days out from finishing off this year and I'm reading all the way.

Since then I've read another three books, I'm 2/3 through with an audible book (this week's travelling will enable me to finish that one) and so I estimate I'll end on 96 books, which is perfect because that will be my highest number of books read since 1998 (when I started logging books on Goodreads. I read 95 books in 2001.

By the way, Goodreads only counts a book once, so even though I read The Life-Changing Magic.... twice, it doesn't count last year's one, just this year's read. Just in case that 69 was bothering you like it did me.

Sunday evening stuff

Usually I blog on a Monday morning because I'm at work too early for my brain to actually work for work stuff, but I can string together words perfectly okay, but...

I'm working from home tomorrow because Nanny S is taking her baby (who's turning 2 tomorrow!) to the clinic. She is coming back to work after lunch because I'm actually not on leave yet and I need to get some real work done. In addition, when I work from home I like to be super productive so as to leave my record untarnished.

Aside from the working from home while refereeing two 7-year-olds story, I also have a handyman coming to do stuff here..... and I need to phone for a dental appointment.

Kendra's signing "I love you" to me!

You see, yesterday I was chewing a biscuit when something felt weird in my mouth.

The tooth where I have a root canal is loose. The kids looked excited when I said "my tooth is loose" until we told them that adults are not supposed to have loose teeth!

I can wiggle it and move it around (!) so I'm chewing on the right side. My dentist is on holiday (I stalked her on Facebook) so that will be a fun little round of telephone tag, trying to find someone unfamiliar to attend to my tooth.

Wish me well!

So what have you been up to this weekend?

Ah, Sunday skies!

Most of South Africa is on leave already so these days feel like you're the only one working in the whole country, which I don't mind at all.

I have big plans this week - two lunches, the big filing and chucking-out session and prep for January. And obviously to get my Inbox to zero. I also like to make my to-do list for my first day back.

On the home front, I have my sister arriving on Wed and my mother on Friday. But actually, that can wait for another post.

I've already filed everything possible for 3 clients I've handed over to other colleagues, so I feel lighter already.

Who's on leave? Who's still working? Who's doing the Big Clean at home? (I'm doing that too)

PS I just told D that two years ago we were at Alpine Heath. How has time flown by so quickly?!

It's downhill from here to the end of the year

So, school's out, kids are at home and not listening much (looks like Miss M has much better-behaved kids than we have at home!), and the roads are clear.

(we left at 7.30 and I was at work at 8.10; at that time of morning it would usually take a full hour of driving)

We had a full weekend of socials.

 

Actually, let's talk about that.

I'm an extrovert; D's an introvert and he's getting older and as such, I say more grumpy :)

So my need to be with people and around people are much higher than his.

Friday night we met up with two sets of work friends at a restaurant close to home. D had his year-end that afternoon so he said he would just pop in to say hi (because I said "they really want to meet you"). The kids and I were going to go (my kids' favourite thing is to go to restaurants!) Well, he enjoyed himself so much he stayed. Maybe because he was sitting next to the one husband who was relaxed and not very loud?

How do you guys deal with this? All not go if the husband indicates non-participatory vibes? Go alone?



On Saturday afternoon we had a lunch plan with very close friends of ours. We love being with them and the kids are comfortable there too so that was wonderful in every way.

On Sunday afternoon I had two work friends plus partners over for tea. Again, D said he'd pop in and out but wanted to be free to not have to socialise. So that's what we did. Lovely time, D did his thing; I was obviously with my guests the entire time. Kids were out til about 4.30 and then arrived home with granny.

I guess I'm saying that this kind of mish-mash of socials works for both of us. I would be miserable if "forced" to not have people over, and he'd be miserable if "forced" to socialise too much.

What works for you?
Are your kids going mad at home yet?
Do you have a busy December?

PS I decided that is it. No more forcing socials into this month. I have a couple of dates during work hours with friends and one playdate after Christmas, and that is that.

Friendship Friday - the crazy, end of year rendition and friendship plans for next year

Well, hello.

I didn't mean to stay quiet for a whole week but we did have three days of concerts.... so there's that.

I do want to get this one out quickly so that I can put on a podcast and attack a certain box in my study before supper, so let's get to it.

1. I don't know what made me have this idea (maybe it's my friend spreadsheet) but I seemed to think that I need to see at least all my friends once this year. And so I've been going crazy, scheduling stuff. I happened to mention something to D and he outright told me I'm crazy so I've calmed down and now I'm telling myself a year, 14 months, whatever... :) (I'm still twitching a little bit inside though, truth be told)

2. The crafternoons have helped to see and spend time with friends this year but I'm not continuing them next year. Tomorrow is the last one of the year, and the last one forever probably.

I thought there would be more people involved when I started. That hasn't quite happened so I'm moving on. I'm not saying some of us won't craft together but it just won't be a Thing. If someone invites me over to craft, I'll go and vice versa.

3. I have some other plans though - Terisha and I have spoken about starting a bookclub and I'm really keen to get this going. If you know me (or have met me in person), I really get very passionate about books. It's just that I hate being told what to read when....so a typical bookclub won't work. Anyway, I'll let you know more when things are clearer with us.

this friend completely spoke to my acts of service self :)

4. I also want to have more workshops next year. Not that friends need to come but I do love it when my friends support my passions. I'm definitely hosting another 5 Love Languages workshop and something keeps calling me to a photo workshop or a motherstyles workshop. We'll see.

5. Julia and I are starting a God Centered Mom podcast group. I need to find my Skype password to test the technology otherwise since it's just us two for now, we will whatsapp chat. If you're keen, subscribe to the God Centered Mom podcast and let me know so I can send you the first episode. This is super easy - listen, and we jump on Skype to discuss, and done. You can't get any easier.

6. I have some big financial goals for the next while. It's a number goal so when I hit it, I can relax again. I'm not at all concerned because I'm good with goals and this one should be hit within a year or two but I do need to limit my eating out with friends so I want to do more old-fashioned friend stuff, like having people over. Or cheaper friend dates like tea (R20) or lunch (R65) instead of suppers (R120 +).



7. Still, I've had a good November as far as friends are concerned even though the first 11 days were all things Spanish. Impromptu teas turned into long lazy afternoons, Face Time dates with faraway friends happened, the 5 Love Languages workshop and lunch with a friend, Sunday night suppers, and two work things but these don't count as work because they were such fun.

Tell me, do you have this crazy idea that you need to cram into the year all the friends? Or is that just me?

Are you changing your friends calendar for next year? Do tell!

{Friendship Friday} Deal breakers

 
So I'm kind-of addicted to a new podcast called Dear Sugar.

It's Cheryl Strayed's podcast. One she does with a guy called Steve Almond.

Cheryl is the author of Wild, the book that was made into a movie that starred Reese Witherspoon.

I wasn't wild about the movie (haha!) but now that I've heard her podcast, I quite love her :)

Anyway, Dear Sugar is the title of her column which is one of the reasons she became famous, I think.

They talk about everything relationships on this podcast, which is probably why I love it so much!




People aren't like tapestries - you can't just pull out the bits you don't like. - Dear Sugar podcast

I can't remember in which context this was said but I loved it so I wrote it down.

It got me thinking about how with any relationship really, but definitely with friendships, you have to decide to accept all the bits if you're going to be friends with someone.

Or you have to accept that the annoying bits are endearing and quirky, and not a deal breaker.

Or you stop being friends.

The trick is that sometimes we don't know what those deal breaker things are until after the fact.

For me, I've had friends say hurtful things to me. That's not a deal breaker at all. The deal breaker is when you don't care that I'm hurt by those statements.

I have a work friend who is always late. Always. I'm always tempted to send her separate meeting invites so she actually pitches up on time. But this is not deal breaker stuff because in the ways that count, she is trustworthy, caring, and calls me out on things.



I'm afraid I'm still reading the election coverage on blogs despite my good intentions. I think it's because it feels like if I lived in the US, some of these issues might be dealbreaker issues for me and I wonder if I'd have any friends left. My stance is not so much political but more values-based.

I read a blog this week and she said that she'd been to a seminar with two speakers prior to the election, and both speakers spoke as if everyone there would be voting for Clinton. One speaker did say that statistically speaking there were at least a few Trump supporters but it highlighted (after the fact) that people were letting other people believe what they wanted, and staying under the radar. Anyway, the comments on that post are interesting.

This whole election business also highlighted to me that clearly I follow only one type of person and I need to change that.

Have you seen posts on the internet earlier this week (and podcasts for the 2 people who listen to podcasts!) talking about surviving Thanksgiving after all the politics? I hope all my US friends had good Thanksgivings!

Back to friendship.

Have you ever had a values/ beliefs disagreement in a friendship? How did it play out? Did you decide that it was okay and you'd accept it or did the friendship end?

(as always, you can stay anonymous - I'm more interested in the story than who is saying it :))

Indulging in my absolutely favourite activity

(which is reading!)

I had a great reading month in October.

9 books.

I have to say that my goal for this year was 70, and my real goal was to have it all read by mid-Dec, because for the last couple of years I've been frantically reading during December, not that that's a bad thing, but it would be nice to be more relaxed so I can also work for a week on my annual review/ goal-setting, etc. since that is in fact, my absolute favourite part of the whole year.

And... I'm killing it!

I'm already on 84 books and we have 6 weeks of the year left.

Most disappointing

Strengthsfinder 2.0 - once you take the test and read up on your 5 strengths, that's it really. Nothing else in the book.

Non-fiction
Strengthsfinder
The best yes (good but I write on this stuff so not as meaningful for me)
Falling free (also good - I love her heart but I didn't find it earth-shattering. Then again, we live in Africa so things the Americans think are wow are our reality on every street corner)

Notable reads
Run - my first Ann Patchett and one I found very interesting
Foolish mortals - my first Jennifer Johnston. A new (to me) Irish author that I discovered as she was interviewed on my favourite Irish podcast, Roisin Meets... I will definitely read her others!

I mentioned on Instagram that one of my Christmas traditions is to start reading books set at Christmas. A lot of it is intentional but obviously if I don't have any, I will read anything, but I do buy ahead and make sure I have tons of Christmassy books on my Kindle.

One of the things I love to do as Christmas approaches is to read books set at this time of year. I even buy books early and just leave them on my Kindle ready for the season. 🎄 🎄 Well, this is my first Christmas book of the season and I'm loving reading it, while having a cuppa in my Christmas mug 😊 #Christmas2016 #bookstagram #maevebinchy #booksofinstagram #sareaders

A photo posted by Marcia Francois (@marcia0608) on Nov 13, 2016 at 4:41am PST

So that's what's happening in my reading life.

And ohhhhh, I'm listening to Rob Lowe's memoir, Stories I only tell my friends .... and loving it! In other fabulous news, Alec Baldwin's book will be released in April 2017. You may remember how much I love his voice so I canNOT wait!

Tell me what you're reading right now!

How was your reading in October (if you can even remember!)?

Monday musings

(I was going to title this 7 on a Sunday... on a Monday... but it felt lame)

Right, how are you all doing?

I don't have a fireplace at my new house and I'm not sure where all our stuff will go :)

 

I'm doing great.

1. I had a wonderful weekend which D and I dissected in the car on the way to work and it's because of these elements:

1. time with kids and D
2. time in my passion (the 5 Love Languages workshop)
3. time spent pottering (Christmas stuff....)
4. time being productive (October photo organising complete!) and intentional (playing with my Shining Year workbook)
5. time relaxing (photos, eating out, reading a whole book)
6. time with friends (love languages and we went out for supper last night)

BLISS!

It's so nice to not be practising Spanish all the time.


2. I have some issues around this Spanish story which I need to talk through and decide what's the best way forward.

You see, many people have asked me why I'm doing Spanish, and why I do exams. And my usual answer (pre-this crazy exam period) was that I enjoy it. But I can't say that I had much joy this time around...

And if that's going to be the way it will be going forward, then quite frankly I can exercise for free at the gym (I joined in 2003 and paid about R600 then, so I pay nothing every month) and put the R600-odd into unit trusts/ paying off bond (things I really value) instead of this.... but I have some thinking to do because I'm also aware that it is the end of the year, this has been a tough period and I need some perspective....



3. The other night I got home just after the rain stopped and so, as you do, I put on my pyjamas and slippers and went prowling around the garden, taking pictures of the flowers with rain drops on them.

It was only about 10 - 15 minutes but it was such a glorious time of playing with my camera.

I'll show you some of those pics when I get to them but I thought I'd do a little photo workshop next year (nothing technical, really just how to "see differently", kind of a Superhero Photo lite) and then obviously we can all prowl around the garden and in the street practising our skills.

That sounds like such fun to me. What do you think?

How was your weekend? What made it a good/ not-so-good one?
Do you take time to do something for yourself daily?

Five for Friday - the crazy edition

Well, this week has felt like a month!

1. The election still has me glued to the internet but I decided tonight is my last night. I've read  Design Mom, Cup of Jo and Emily Henderson's posts, and comments (only some) and I'm understanding more about the Trump supporters but I still feel like I'm not sure how this happened. Still, desperate people.

One person told me they voted Trump and why (economics) and that they and many of their friends voted for him despite his character.

At the moment, I'm thinking MBTI's coming into play here.

I'm so grateful we have One higher to look towards.



2. In more pleasant news, my spanish exams are over and I never have to do that dance again - yay!

Results on Tuesday but I seriously don't care because I did my best and I enjoyed it, and that's what counts for me.

One of the other girls gets so anxious she was puking before she arrived tonight, and again while waiting. Shame!



3. I had a good week at work - this was the week of legal agreements coming out of my ears. I think I drafted about 8 - 10. Crazy.

4. I love my navy blue kitchen. I'm so glad I took a risk. I will write more about this on Organising Queen next week (with pictures!) but it is such a good improvement for just a tiny fraction of a kitchen makeover.



5. And last but not least, during my week of prayer/ social media fast (PS please tell me when things happen for you!), my prayer was to get offers on our house. Well, we got 2 - one truly awful one and one more decent. We accepted the more decent one mostly because I am ready for this to be done. It's been huge mental strain on me (I'm the "minister of finance" in our home) not to mention money and energy.

Anyway, today I received a copy of the signed bond grant so everything is in order and now the house is officially sold. :)

Over to the attorneys now to push through this transaction asap.

And that's me for this week!



I have BIG plans for this weekend in the "nesting" category - I want to start putting up Christmas because I'm in the mood for some O Holy Night :)

Tell me about one good thing that happened in your life this week.

I am completely beside myself

I've been glued to the news sites for most of yesterday.

Usually when I work from home I'm super productive (I'd say about 3 X what I am at the office). Yesterday, I got done what I'd get done here.

That's because of this election.

I even woke early this morning to follow the news.

I said to a friend that I'm not even an anxious person but I was feeling such anxiety.

Turns out I was right.

What in the heck?

I actually cannot believe the result.

Who are these people and what was their motivation?

I got to the office and someone here says they're moving to the US (as a joke). Two of us set him straight and said you're black and a foreigner - not sure you're welcome there.

I feel like this is a nightmare that I'm to wake up from.

I can't imagine actually living in the US right now.

What's going through your head right now?