I've had 4 baby/ non-baby talks with people recently.
1) at work we were talking about adoption and a colleague was saying about how she'd like to do it one day to help underprivileged babies.
Which freaks me out, big time.
Another joined in... same story... how it's such a good thing to do FOR THE BABIES.
So I pipe up (because I just can't keep my mouth shut) and say, "is it REALLY for the babies? Because if I had to adopt I would totally do it for ME!"
Silence... confusion... questioning looks
I explained that a baby would add to my life. Yes, maybe it would improve some kid's life but my motivation in doing it would totally be for me, and therefore selfish.
And aren't all people the same?
They said no.
I left it (fortunately I did actually have work to do) but I did say, "maybe it's different when you're infertile like I am!"
And we laughed and that was that.
2) A dear reader of this blog, A, has been emailing with me for the last couple of months since she was diagnosed as infertile.
She just went through her first IVF and it was negative.
She is understandably devastated (as am I) and when she told me she couldn't stop crying, oh, it took me back to my first failed IVF.
Terrible.
A, I'm thinking of you every day!
3) Very dear friends of ours who live in London are also battling. They've had at least one miscarriage that we know of.
She wrote me a beautifully heartfelt email and again, my heart broke. How they were at a party and a lady asked which child is hers, and then proceeded to give her advice on getting pregnant.
And how they've finally painted over the Winnie the Pooh mural in the baby's room.
I started crying when I read that.
I still haven't answered the email because I don't want to be flippant.
We love them so much and they would make the best parents, honestly.
4) Other friends of ours, this time in Ireland, commented on old pics of us when we were in Ireland with them saying we should do this again.
We said, "YOU should come HERE this time" or something to that effect and he said he needed to email us.
D then sent an email (you don't want everything on the internet, do you? :)) and asked if there was a bun in the oven.
And there is.
I am so, so happy for them.
They're not married and this is a surprise (!) but he's been wanting kids for the last 7 years (there's a story about him and previous gf breaking up because of this stuff...). I don't know how she feels because she's young (32) and gorgeous and a party-goer of note :)
So I'm happy for them but the "oops" ones always stab me a bit in the heart, especially hearing about it the day after receiving the email in (3).
Coming back to the adoption issue - how do you feel?
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