This time last year - photos are fixed!

This set of pics was taken exactly a year ago, when my kids first went to the pre-school at my work for those 2 - 3 weeks.

Look how gorgeous and babyish they looked :)

Aren't those cheeks divine?

My little "Suraya"

And then these are the latest pics I have of the kids - taken on Friday night. 

Connor said, "Kendra, help me fold Daddy's towels" and so they did. 

And they're very good at folding, by the way. I don't get in the way because I want to encourage lots of helping around the house. 

Also, I kind of hate laundry.

This kind of post makes me think of MandyE who always does those nice flash backs of her girls.

I, on the other hand, had to get the external hard drive and search for stuff because I only keep the current year on my laptop (I back up every month after I've done my Massive Monthly Photo Organising).

In other news, party bags are done, all party printables are printed and I'm finally seeing the light.

Cheapest cakes were R700 for both which is of course completely out - I cannot bring myself to waste money like that (no judgement on others; just not for me) so I've ordered cupcakes :)  

How was your Tuesday?

My hippie chick

My mother was up in Jhb that Mother's Day weekend but only with us for the Saturday til after lunch so we took her out for lunch.

The kids wore their gum boots because it was supposed to rain a bit and these two are always on the lookout for a bit of rain (rather like me with the grey skies...)

I didn't realise quite how cute Kendra looked til I downloaded the pics later.



Look at that serious model face :)

 

Isn't she adorable?!

I just love this quirky child!

By the way, Kendra's been going through this phase where she's identifying very strongly with her same sex role model (me!).

She dressed like me for Career Day, wants to be just a mother, and on the weekends she checks with me, "what are you going to wear today?" and then wants the same colours. If I'm not wearing white takkies, she doesn't want to wear hers either!

She doesn't want to wear Alice bands anymore because I don't... only headbands! She also told me she wants a silver ring and necklace like mine for her birthday!

She's also always writing lists (!) and making things like cards - those are good things!

It's getting interesting around here :) :)

Did you have this going on too? How long did it last?

Raising kids in South Africa... with "bad people"

I remembered that I needed to write this post after Heather and I discussed beggars.

Here in South Africa you basically find beggars at the intersection of most major roads.



A few weeks ago, a beggar shook a takeaway cup at my window and I shook my head "no".

Connor then said to me, "why is that man giving you a cup?"

Me  he wants money

Connor so why don't you give him some?                    Things are so simple for toddlers.

Me I don't have any money with me (in this case it was true because I never keep money in the car itself)



The next Saturday another beggar shakes a pot at me through the window.

Before I could even say "no" Connor shouts through the window, "I don't have any money"

It was VERY cute but also a bit cringe-worthy as in "what am I teaching them?!"

Do you give money to beggars?

I never do but I do give food if I have some. I often buy an extra bag of rolls and hand those over, or an extra bag of fruit, etc.

This was exactly as the moon looked in the sky. Perfect blue!

Again, we live in South Africa where bad things can happen to people in nice neighbourhoods. I don't live in fear because I trust God to protect us.

BUT I also live with wisdom and part of that is teaching my kids to trust their instincts (the Holy Spirit) and more important, obey.

As an aside, that's why I insist on listening and obeying immediately with the kids because they need to learn to listen and obey God immediately when He speaks. I'm not being a dictator, per se, but I feel like it could be a matter of life and death.

Anyway, so part of this "education" is me telling them that there are bad people in the world and that's why I want the gates locked all the time and why we don't faff around at the gate - we get in, close and move into the house.

I've taught them where the panic button is too and to press if they feel the slightest bit uneasy if there is someone in the garden who we have not employed.

Is this freaking you out???? :)

Kendra tells me the other day, "Mummy, can we pray for the bad people tonight so they won't be bad anymore?"

Well, this is beautiful because I can't say I have much compassion myself so I said to her, "of course we can, Baby, let's do it right now" and right there in the entrance way, we prayed for the bad people.

So again, Connor and I driving to gym.

In the car, Connor says to me, "I think we should just throw the bad people in jail and not pray for them".

!

That's more or less how I feel...

The other day, Connor and I went to Clicks for who-knows-what (but always costs at least R374).

We had HUGE excitement because there was a shoplifter. This poor man stole Eye-Gene (have you ever?!) - I'm not encouraging stealing but really, Eye-Gene?

The shop and the centre security guards had him handcuffed and they were waiting for the police to arrive.

Connor was all wide-eyed - staring at all the goings on despite my "baby, it's not good manners to stare" :)

He couldn't stop talking about that for a good week or two.



And then one cute Connor story to end (this is to balance the Kendra-isms from a few weeks back)

Kendra wanted me to read her a story (not at bedtime) but I was busy.

Me Connor, why don't you read her a story?

Connor (mini freak-out) BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ!!!

Me It's okay, you can just tell her a story

Connor OHHHH, with just any words?

He was quite taken that it doesn't have to be accurate :)

I can just see her as a bigger kid with a book. Be still, my beating heart!

Speaking of accurate... have you ever seen an Alice in Wonderland with dark hair?

We have a new book and the Alice has dark hair.

Both Kendra and I (rule followers) said immediately to D, "that's not Alice. She's supposed to be blonde"

and then we got a lecture from D about how Disney created her blonde but in the book, she's actually any way you imagine her, which was totally beyond me (I'm an S) and by the looks of it, Kendra too :)

I'm feeling particularly virtuous tonight as I went to gym and then went back to work. I love that I didn't miss gym because of work.

Tomorrow 5:30 the initial craziness of the new job will be over but first, pray for my presentation from 2 pm....

Have you had reason to speak to your kids about bad people?

Daddies and their girls/ toilet duty

I've wondered a lot lately how parents of two littles of the same gender do the toilet thing.

When we're out, D takes Connor and I take Kendra to the loo. Of course if one parent is out with both kids (rare), I squish us all into one stall (the Bedford Centre's newer section has the best family toilets) or I keep the door open but block other people from seeing the peeing child.

I've seen signs at the gym that kids of the opposite sex are only allowed in the ladies' change rooms up til the age of 4. So I'm not really sure what Connor and I are going to do come July.

But more to the point - do you ladies of two girls have to do all the toilet duty? Crikey, it would do my head in.

Already, I go a bit mental saying, "don't TOUCH! No, it's DIRTY" so imagine that with two kids...

How do you deal with the toilet thing?



In other news, my little girl has a little infection and can't pee without screaming the house down. Oh, it's terrible.

This started last night at supper time, she woke up three times trying to pee (screaming all the time) and so on the DOT of 8 am this morning, I phoned for a dr appointment.

I collected her from school, we went to Dr P and the best? She can now tell the doctor everything herself. Aren't talking kids fabulous? I love the talking more every day!

We went to get meds, K screamed a couple of times in Clicks (good thing I don't get shy!) and we eventually went home.

At home, I bribed her to eat something with a jelly tot (I love that a tiny jelly sweet is good enough) because she had no appetite and I needed to get her anti-biotics into her.

So she goes...

Connor I love you
S I love you
Mummy I love you
I WANT MY DADDY!!!!!

and WHERE IS DADDY? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GO TO WORK?

(exactly like that - screaming)

I guess she was in such pain that only Daddy would do. I must add that D is GREAT with sick people. I love him the most when I'm a little sick because he takes really good care of me :) So I'm not at all insulted or offended that she prefers Daddy. I'd prefer his care over mine too.

Oy, Daddies and their girls.

He emailed me - should I come home now? I said NO, you keep on working, and just make sure you get home on time :)

It was beautiful to see when he got home.

She heard the gate open and FLEW to the door.

DADDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!

And then she was happy, poor little thing.

She hasn't woken up yet (2.5 hours later) so I think she's on the mend. By this time yesterday, she'd woken twice already.

Are you good with your sick kids? Or with sick people in general?
PS these pics are from a photowalk we did in our neighbourhood last weekend. Remember I put 6 photowalks on my goals list, and somehow I've already done more than 6. The power of intention....
How are you doing on your goals for Feb? 3 days left...

Two kid school logistics & marital chores - how do you do it?

this little frog makes me smile - bought at Bed Bath and Beyond in Concord for $10 - best? no one can steal it :)

I've had two semi-sick kids over the last 4 days.

D was also sick so on Friday it was (relatively) easy because I took Kendra to school on the way to work (yes, I had to get up and going early!) and D took Connor to the doc and to get meds from the pharmacy.

Nanny S then went to collect K at 12:30 to bring her back home. D and Connor were able to rest here.

With this very slight maneuvering, we realised there may be a problem in future :) 

new business cards - I love them so much I may just start using them as gift tags :) also, new pillows in the background

Then yesterday I didn't feel Kendra was well enough to go to school. Granted, she was actually fine but her voice was so croaky and I wanted her 100%.

D decided to take a half day's family responsibility leave so he dropped Connor at school, went to get a new script for Kendra, got her meds, shopped and fetched Connor again.

I would have done the pick-up yesterday since Nanny S had to stay behind with K especially since my work is very good about treating us like adults (we come and go but we have to get our work done and not abuse the system) BUT we had an important golf day and I had to do some of my thing - schmoozing a bit.

D and I were thinking a lot about what people do when both parents work full-time and don't have another person to fetch and carry a kid. We can't very well ask MIL to drive 40 mins one way to fetch a kid and drive that kid 2 mins to get home, and then 40 mins again.

I also read a blog yesterday where the mother is a SAHM, her hubby was travelling and she had 3 kids, one sick. She said the sick kid had to be put in the car in pjs to take the other kid to an appt and fetch another kid. So it felt like that a bit for us too.

my new photo printer printing pics for my Ballito mini scrapbook - see my favourite washi tape on the flash drive?

So today D went to work, I went to work and the kids both stayed with Nanny S. One was well enough for school but we couldn't make the logistics work so they both had to stay home.

It feels a bit silly but what can you do? I may have been able to leave work and do the fetching but because I was only in the office for two hours yesterday I couldn't afford the time out.

Actually, I have to log on now and finish up some work.

But what do you do when one kid is sick and the other needs to carry on with life?
Do you both fetch and carry, or is it always the one parent (and why? how did you work that out?)?

I love taking pics like this from hotels (!) and realised the other day I'd never done in our own bedroom. Here you go.

Do you want to know what D and I do?

Basically we take turns. My job is not more important than his, and his is not more important than mine. So we do this parenting thing together. (I'm not judging you if you split chores differently - I feel a need to disclaim in case people get offended...)

When we've needed to take time off for kid things, we either each do half a day if one day is needed, or one day D takes a day's leave, and the next time I do it.

If there's a going into the office late because of an early morning doctor appt, I generally do it because it's easier with my job and boss than with his. He would rather take an official half day or full day than go in an hour - hour and a half late. I have no such qualms.

So what do you do?

Chores for kids

What do you know? This was post number 1400 on the blog :)

 
So I'm a big fan of kids doing chores. Big!

It fits in with our goals of raising independent kids and I like to parent with the end in mind. I don't want to raise children who have no life skills.

Also, it's their house too and they need to help keep it neat and tidy.

I also don't want my kids thinking that there's someone picking up after them even if Nanny S is here every weekday.

My kids do these chores:

1. pack away their own toys
2. put their dirty laundry in the basket
3. fold the clothes that can be worn once more (you have to let go of perfectionism...)
4. put their dishes in the sink (no dishwasher)
5. take our and their laundry baskets to the laundry whenever I ask
6. sort laundry (this is very hit and miss, even for their father :)) and load the washing machine (this is a task both of them LOVE so one has to sort and then the other loads the machine one day and we change next time we do it)
7. push in their chairs and wipe their placemats
8. sweep up food (if they've messed)
9. wipe their seats (if they've messed - mostly this is K because she squirms while eating)
10. help dry and pack away the dishes
11. make their beds with Nanny S's help (or ours on the weekend - we each take one kid - the child working with me always has the neatest bed :) :))
12. always carry their own bags to the cars and to and from the church building
13. close the curtains at night and open mine in the mornings
14. help me to cook :)

Some of these things we only started implementing after D and I went on the Loving Discipline workshop where we heard that they're able to do a lot more than I was letting them do.

Basically I was hanging onto the kitchen stuff  because I'm super fussy! and I like to get things done quickly.

But look how much fun he has when I let go...

---

that's the cupboard where all the plastics go

So that's where we're at for the moment.

By the way, I have a new rule - if I told them to put away toys (these will be in my bedroom or kitchen because the sunroom/ playroom is always tidied properly by the kids) and they ignore or just don't do it, the toys disappear into Toy Jail for 24 hours.

There was a lot of wailing and knashing of teeth the first time I did it but it's worth it because they now know I mean business. I've only had to do it twice in the last 3 weeks.

Next up we need to talk about clothes for kids and the drama involved in getting dressed.

Do your kids do chores? Why or why not? If not, are you a perfectionist like I was? Or what's your reason?