ungrateful pregnant people - UPDATED

I work with someone who is currently 5 months pregnant.

She moans continually. And I mean continually. Every single word out of her mouth the whole day is complaining about various things about the pregnancy. I've taken to putting my music on the minute she walks in. I don't think I can take it anymore!

It wouldn't be so bad if she was a normal fertile person, but she battled for 4 years to fall pregnant, had a miscarriage in 2005 and then got it right last year. You'd think she'd be grateful, right? Wrong!

Sadly, her sensitivity is severely lacking.

And worse? She knows that I am battling to conceive. She used to keep coming to tell me every little thing about the pregnancy before but thank goodness, she's now reading my body language and staying away. One of my things to do this year was to have a talk with her if she didn't stop.

now, I might have to have the talk about her complaining.

Updated
Well, I had the talk with her on Friday afternoon. I can't remember exactly what I said but it was something along the lines of, "you know, you should be grateful that you're pregnant at all". God's given you a huge gift.

She paused a bit and then said, "you're right. I actually am very grateful".

And that was that, people. I have heard no complaining for 2 whole days! Wow.

ever get the feeling you're going nuts?

yesterday i requested a report from IT. They send me an email today saying i can find what I'm looking for on a specific place on the system. i battle the whole day to get into said system. Finally I get in, see that the information is not there in the way i want it so i phone them.

he tells me my request wasn't specific enough. really now? that's the way i always send them through. no, you don't. yes, I do. Oh and why aren't you copying me on your requests? I'm supposed to copy you? you know that and you always used to. no, i didn't.

oooh, it makes my blood boil when people talk down to me.

and when they act like they know it all. i am not losing my mind and i know full well i haven't been copying him but for the sake of peace (and wanting my report!), i just shut up!

i feel a lot better getting that all out. and not worrying about punctuation LOL

Thursday Thirteen # 7 - some of my goals for 2007

Did you set any goals for this year? Or resolutions? Or intentions? Or focus areas?

Here are 13 of my goals, in no particular order...

1. Grow closer to God this year. I have let the baby thing come between us and I actually miss being close to God, so this year I'm getting my act together.

2. Continue to have a harmonious, peaceful, loving relationship with my husband. We are both stubborn and want to be right, so that's why harmonious because sometimes we forget that we want to be happy and just focus on the being right part. LOL

3. Take a 4 - day cruise (at least - I wouldn't mind a longer one) to the Portuguese islands for New Year's next year.

4. Do at least 5 hours of quality work every day before blogging/ messing around with personal emails, etc. Am I alone here???

5. Get to my goal weigh - that means I have to lose another 3 kg. So close but so far...

6. Increase my exercise - I currently do two dance classes every week (hip hop and salsa) and I need to add a body conditioning/ toning type of class 'cos I don't want flabby arms...

7. Sign up at least 2 new coaching clients every month for a 3-month period, but overall the goal is to coach 50 clients this year (I understand that there will be those who just want a laser coaching session).

8. Get more media exposure by getting articles published online and in print magazines. Also, I'm not limiting God - TV and radio segments would also be good. A new client emailed to ask me if I'd been on a talk show and I said, "not yet, but that's one of my goals" LOL

9. Ministry-wise, I'd like to help at least 15 people to discover their passion and run at least one Consultants Course.

10. Meet up with at least 2 friends for a lunch or supper social on a monthly basis - whether girlfriends or couple friends.

11. Attend 4 networking events and 2 workshops for my own personal development.

12. Read 7 books every month. How am I going to do this? Read at least 10 non-fiction pages every day. On the weekends, I indulge in my beloved fiction totally for hours so that is not the problem...

13. And last but most definitely not least, I would love it if we could have a baby this year. So please pray with me, Internet!

Post some of your goals in the comments - I'm insanely curious!

Bad computer karma

Hi everybody

Happy New Year!!!!

My prayer for all of you is health, wealth and happiness this year. And, of course, a baby for me and for Boho!

I've had a nice blogging break. Totally unasked-for, by the way.

On Monday 18th Dec, I tried logging on and my computer logged right back off.

We took it in and it turns out there was a virus. And after MANY days, we got feedback that they were not able to recover any programmes but would be able to save all files. Not!

Well, we only got it back on the 29th!!!!! I immediately noticed that lots of pictures were missing. And my entire contacts in Outlook was missing and all the emails in the Inbox, Sent Items and individual folders.

Not too serious, I thought, because most of the pertinent information I have on my flash drive.

But here's when I know I have really bad karma (and I don't even believe in this stuff)...

An entire folder on my flash drive is missing. One day there, the next missing. It really is a mystery to me.

This folder had basically everything in it. You see, I do email maintenance about twice a year and as I sort out folders, I put them in a big one called Folders already sorted out (just to be nice and clear). And I was nearly done - thank God I'm a bit of a procrastinator because my Work to do and Website folders were not done yet, and are therefore still on the disc.

Yes, so the whole thing is gone. My customer contact details were in there, together with client coaching details and my Good ideas folder. Thank goodness I have a really good memory so I can remember lots of email addresses offhand.

So, guess who'll be working hard this week???


Sorry for the long, rambly nature of this post. I just had to get it out.

Thursday Thirteen # 6 - my favourite movies

Thirteen of my favourite movies

I'm the type of person who really enjoys happy movies as you'll see from the list below LOL. However, there are a few others on here that don't strictly fit the bill but I'll explain why they're on my list.


1. My best friend's wedding
I have seen this probably 3 times and every time I love it just the same. I laugh, I cry and when I need a pick-me-up, this one does it for me!

2. The holiday
We went to see this one last night and it was absolutely lovely from start to finish. I have been totally off Jude Law since Closer but he redeemed himself in this one. And those kids? Too cute!!!

3. Spanglish
This is another one of those lovely, lovely movies. I can't explain why I enjoyed it so – maybe it was the language issues but I loved it.

4. Crash
This movie really made me think and question things a lot. Obviously about racial issues. Now people, I'm in an interracial relationship myself so I really don't have issues at all. But still. Pulls on your emotions too. Stunning move – well deserving of its Oscar. In fact, this is the first movie EVER that I enjoyed that also won an Oscar. I don't quite know what that says about me but there you go!

5. Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason
I enjoyed this sequel far more than I enjoyed the original. I have this theory that if you read and enjoyed the book, don't bother seeing the movie. And this one blew my theory out of the water because I enjoyed the first movie and not so much the book. I don't know – maybe it was all the hype? But this one. Was Fabulous. We went to see it with friends and we all loved it.

6. Eye for an eye
Justice is one of my highest values. Now you know why I loved this. I really didn't mind her taking the law into her own hands because that ws how it should have worked out in the end. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

7. The school of rock
Okay, I'm a sucker for passion in any form and I LOVED LOVED LOVED Jack Black's passion for music in this one.

8. French Kiss
I adored Kevin Kline in this. And of course, I always enjoy Meg Ryan in romantic comedies. My favourite scene is the one in the aeroplane when they're taking off and he teases her about how she is in bed. LOL

9. Coach Carter
This was such an inspiring and motivating movie and I loved it completely and utterly. Enough said.

10. Runaway Jury
In my opinion, John Cusack is just the most gorgeous guy ever. I love that naughty boy/ boy next door look he has. Anyway, back to the movie – by the way, this one also throws my movie/ book theory out because I loved the book and I loved the movie. I thought all the actors were equally brilliant in this courtroom drama.

11. Stepmom
I cried buckets and buckets when I watched this. It is soooo sad. I also loved Susan Sarandon's character development from the jealous mom to accepting mom in the end. Beautiful.

12. Father of the bride
This was so sweet and so sad all at the same time. I thought of it again the other day when I read becky's letter to Hannah and how she said one day Hannah will get married and how crushed Matt will be. If you don't know what on earth I'm talking about, go read it yourself. And of course, I loved Frank, the wedding planner. Hilarious LOL

13. A time to kill
Another John Grisham that I loved. I love these fighting for the right thing type of movies – brings out the lion in me. Of course, Matthew McConaghey and Ashley Judd with those delicious Southern accents are so easy on the ear.

And that's my Thursday Thirteen.

What are some of your favourites?

Thursday Thirteen #5 - Celebrating love

I'm not a romantic person.

Red roses and chocolates just don't do it for me. I like bright yellow chrysanthemums.

But I do lurve love songs. So today, here are 13 of my favourites:


1. Wonderful tonight - Eric Clapton

2. Just the way you are - Billy Joel

3. Glory of love - Peter Cetera

4. Up where we belong - Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

5. How deep is your love - Bee Gees

6. Have I told you lately - Rod Stewart

7. Against all odds - Phil Collins

8. Take my breath away - Berlin (not whatshername's version)

9. Making love out of nothing at all - Air Supply

10. Don't let the sun go down on me - George Michael and Elton John

11. Nobody does it better - Carly Simon

12. Total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler



and last but not least...

13. At last - Celine Dion


Thank you to all of you for your love and good wishes after my sadness yesterday! I had another good cry last night and felt much better. As you can see, I'm celebrating love today!

Suddenly

I am fine with this infertility thing about 90% of the time.

I get happy when people find out they're pregnant, and am also happy to see babies and children most of the time.

Then suddenly something will happen and the tears just burst out of me.

Like now. Went to the loo at work and on my way back to my cubicle, saw the lift open and a little boy of about 8 step out (schools have closed and we are very relaxed here so some people bring their kids in now and again).

Just looking at that cute little blonde head I just had a sudden, intense, deep, deep longing for one of my own.

And burst into tears!

These deep, primal urges are so scary, especially because I'm normally so together.

Food glorious food

As I mentioned before, I am on Weigh-Less.

At first it went really, really well and then sort of plateaued. After I returned from Thailand, I'd gained 1.3kg (miracle what with all the food I ate) and lost that in a week. Wonderful.

However, since then (a month ago), I have gained some more weight. I don't quite know what it is. Last week I had convinced myself yet again that I was pregnant (the weight gain together with the slight nausea which I since found out is due to my new preconceptual multivitamins).

So in an effort to get back to the good results from the first couple of months, I am going to have to be very strict and stay on the programme.

That means faithfully eating my low fat proteins every day, limiting my carbs to only the 5 portions, and staying off the chocolate totally.

Stirfried chicken, red kidney beans, basmati rice and vegetables
Ingredients

90g chicken strips
100 g red kidney beans
140g basmati rice
200g vegetables - pictured above are onions, mushrooms, carrots, broccoli and I think some pumpkin

Stirfry in only 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil, add lots of garlic & chilli and enjoy!

Serves 1
1 medium fat protein, 1 low fat protein, 2 complex carb portions and 2 portions veg

In the zone - updated!

I had the most wonderful hip-hop dance class tonight.

It also helped that last week was a complete shocker - teenagers messing around and laughing at the back of the class annoyed me to no end. The teacher is also a people pleaser who would not give them words! And I was not irritated enough to fight with people. Darn - hate it when that happens.

I was right on target - my moves in time to the music. Could remember things and actually add some style compared to the usual fumble around just to get the feet right and only "get it" in the last 10 minutes. This time I was in the zone right from the beginnning. Nice.

I have been feeling like I could take or leave this class the last couple of weeks. I am a dancer so I usually don't have problems with 2 left feet but it's this hip-hop thing.

The jerky arms, and legs that go the same way as arms instead of opposite arm to leg like with most dance styles I'm used to.

Then I start thinking maybe I'm too old for these new-fangled dances (and that word is a sign for sure that I'm getting too old for this rubbish).

Does this happen to anybody else?

Anyway, it was lovely to actually know what I'm doing again and most of all, to thoroughly enjoy it.

Updated to add
The exact same thing happened in my salsa dancing class on Wed. I was on!
I thought about it and it could also possibly be due to the fact that I'm only having half my supper before so that I don't feel as sluggish.

Thursday Thirteen #4 - my new car

About my new (2-month-old) car…good and bad in no particular order

1. As it is black, it gets dirty very quickly. My sister warned me about this beforehand.

2. I love that the seat lifts. I knew that when I first got it, but only figured it out about 10 days ago!

3. I like the feel of the indicator lever. I know this is weird but there is a little groove which I play with while driving - quite soothing in the traffic.

4. This car has a temperature gauge - quite a useful tool, if only to corroborate my feelings about how hot/ cold it is.

5. Central locking - love it, love it, love it. One click and everything is locked. Saves me so much time.

6. I love how when I remove the key from the ignition, the doors open automatically.

7. My old car didn't have a side pocket and this one does. Very useful to hold my water bottle. The water bottle in my profile picture is exactly why I chose that picture. I always have a water bottle (and an apple) with me.

8. Power steering. My word - what a difference it makes to parking! Just a flick of the wrist turns that whole car. Before, it was turn, turn and turn some more before the car would turn.

9. This is a neurotic car though. The petrol tank sign starts glowing when there is still 5L of petrol left. I can go to work and back 2 whole days on that. But wait! It then annoyingly starts blinking when it gets right down to the bottom. (My husband would say I shouldn't even know about the blinking light!)

10. And the hooter…is an excuse for a hooter. It is a pathetic little beep-beep.

11. Oh, and the joys of airconditioning. I am only now fully appreciating it as we're at the end of spring going into summer. And it's nice and powerful so I only need it on for a few minutes to last me about 10 minutes.

12. And I love how, when I approach the car and click the button to open the door, the light comes on inside the car. V useful at night so I can see the ignition.

13. And last but not least, it is extremely zippy. I can weave in and out of cars very easily with it. I even feel cooler in it. Now that's got to count for something, does't it?!

Here she is - beautiful!

My husband, the comic

We've been back and forth with 2 friends (married couple) on the email organising our next supper date. We all just reply to all so everyone can see what's going on.

Friend: what can we bring along??

Hubby: Um, roast beef, a lasagne, a salad, rolls, drinks, after-dinner mints. Leigh, have I left anything off? Placemats. No, maybe that's too much. :)

Me: D, you should start a blog!!!

Hubby: "Fullofbolony.blogspot"?

Me: (sent only to him) You can still make me laugh after all these years!

Hubby: Cool. You still make me... well, we'll discuss later

Thursday Thirteen # 3 - doctors and health

1. After I made the appointment with the infertility doctor, I decided to make my annual dental appointment.

2. My doctor is very popular and she's always booked up weeks in advance so I can only see her on the 7th Dec.

3. The minute the appointment was made my top left molars started seriously annoying me. It feels like my tooth is moving because food gets stuck there.

4. For the first time in my life, I can't WAIT to get to the dentist.

5. On a more interesting note, yesterday's visit to the infertility doc. We were early for once and had to fill in so many forms that we were actually on time!

6. First, before they even see you, they make you talk to a counsellor who put us through the 3rd degree but not in a bad way. They check for a history of depression and all sorts of things in case you crack through the emotional trauma.

7. Speaking of which, she made me cry!!! I think it's when she said that we have to get used to "maybe you're not meant to have children". She meant "naturally" but I just heard blah blah not meant to have children blah blah and that was me!

8. Then we went to see the doctor. Nice, gentle man (if a bit too quiet for me – I mean I was doing more talking than he was) who had to quickly do an aspiration (whatever that is) before he could see me.

9. He did an internal sonar (my first – I don't recommend it) which was fine although I have lots of fluid. He thinks it's blood from the endometriosis (gross, I know), but no big deal.

10. Then the fun started. Apparently we have a 2% chance of conceiving naturally because we have both male and female factor infertility. I was devastated by these shocking stats although today I told D that I've always been in that 2% in other areas of life like top of the class, so I will just have to be the 2% that conceives!!!

11. He suggested we go for IVF straight away with ICSI (where they inject the sperm into the egg) – a mere R25000. Hello! At our salaries it will take more than a year to save up R25000 for one treatment cycle!

12. I want D to get a new spermogram because I can't understand how the sperm count can go down from 94 million to 0.8 in 3 months. If the sperm count is okay after this new test, then we'll do AI first, a much more reasonable R1500 a shot. Otherwise, I really don't know.

13. After the meeting with the doctor, I had some blood taken (they are checking my hormone levels) and seeing as I was already invaded with foreign instruments, I had a PAP smear too.

And that's all for today. Amazingly, I am remarkably calm writing this now. Yesterday, I was a wreck. I looked terrible from all the crying!

So, for all you fertile people out there, remember to thank God everyday that you had an easy time falling pregnant. I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy!

Now I will go cook and bake up a storm – nothing like food to cheer you up!

our own little coffee shop

The other day we were out at the shops somewhere and D wanted to go for coffee.

I really didn't feel like being out anymore so I told him I'd make us "special" coffee at home.

This is the "special" coffee - in a cup just like at the coffee shop!



Now doesn't that look good?

Procrastination

Just this week, two things at work happened that reinforced once again why procrastination is so bad.


1. We instituted a procedure on one of my campaigns that made it necessary for us to set up a procedure document. The process person drafted it and sent it to me saying that she'd like my help making the language plain and simple for our call centre agents to understand.

I'm usually quite good at this type of thing so I don't know why I didn't just do it there and then. Nevertheless, I didn't and for a whole week this thing hung over my head. It was also not urgent just something that has to be done somewhere along the line.

My self-imposed deadline was 1 week so I told myself, come hell or highwater, by the end of Thursday I would give her an amended document.

Well, when I finally sat down to do it, it took me not even 10 minutes to proofread and edit that thing. And it was easy!

2. Buoyed up by my little mini-victory, I decided to tackle a report. This is another something that is not urgent but is a nice-to-have. Now there is nothing more boring to me than sitting and working with numbers. Funny because I'm good at it but I just don't enjoy it. Unless it's sales figures of course. That I love looking at. I think it's the goal-oriented side of me that enjoys the sales figures.

Again, I buckled down and started doing the report and it took me about 20 minutes, including drafting the email to all the powers-that-be.

Only 30 minutes work and yet I procrastinated a whole week!!!

I think next time I don't want to do something I should just remember Flylady and tell myself, I can do anything for 15 minutes!

Thursday Thirteen #2 - Favourite foods

1. Granny Smith apples – I just love that crisp, sour taste and anything with apples (apple pie, cake with apple, stewed apple and custard)
2. Hot wholewheat toast with fridge-cold chunky cottage cheese
3. Toasted cheese and tomato on wholewheat bread
4. Pancakes - my favourite filling is apricot jam with a squeeze of lemon juice.
5. Hot wholewheat toast with avocado, and again, salt and lots of pepper
6. Most curries but my favourite is my mother's chicken lentil curry
7. Fettucine alfredo
8. Thai mussamen curry
9. Almost any muffins
10. Chocolate cake – must be moist
11. Lemon meringue
12. Custard anything – real custard, custard-flavoured yoghurt, custard with hot pudding….
13. Cadbury's chocolate – nothing else, no Belgian, Swiss or anything else but Cadbury. It is "the best loved chocolate in the country"

Now I'm feeling hungry!

Thank goodness for quick-thinking people

I made my first appointment with an infertility specialist for next Wednesday!

(in open-plan office)


Me (whispered): Hi. I'd like to make an appointment with Doctor K.


Receptionist: Is this for your normal check-up or for infertility?


Me: Umm, the second one please


Receptionist: No problem, how about next Wed?


Me: Thanks so much!

Infertility, the disease

Infertility is the most serious disease I've ever had. In fact, it's the only one!

Aside from this, I am quite a healthy person. I exercise, drink lots of water (by choice - water is my favourite drink. Yes, I know I'm a weirdo) and eat healthily except for the 3 days before my period, when I become a raving chocaholic. I've been told this is a lack of magnesium.

Funny how every month I convince myself I'm pregnant so I don't even notice the chocolate binge.

Like today. I woke up, went to the loo and there it was. The Period. Then it all starts falling into place.

Tender breasts = premenstrual, not pregnant

200g chocolate in 3 days = premenstrual, not lack of discipline because it's weekend

Clearly I'm in denial because the doctor said it will never happen naturally. However, I do believe in miracles but at what cost? And who said we'll be given once of those miracles?

When I really allow myself time to think (and most of the time, I think that I keep myself busy to avoid the thoughts), I really start to question everything.

1. Did I bring on the infertility by working too hard and stressing myself out?
2. Did I wait too long and ignore well-meaning family and friends' "you guys really should start a family"?
3. And the worse, am I a bad Christian? Surely if I have enough faith, it will happen.
4. Or even worse than that - maybe God doesn't want us to have a baby. I can't believe this seriously though because I know without a shadow of doubt that I'd be an excellent mother. I've always been good with kids, I think because I treat them like people and acknowledge that they have feelings, thoughts and opinions just like everyone else.

I write about these things on this blog because aside from my husband, there's no-one I can really talk to.

Well, let me clarify - I can talk to my other infertile friends about the infertility. I can talk to my husband about the God & Christian issues. But I can't talk to any other friends about the Christian stuff.

This, in my opinion, is why we get such a bad rap sometimes. Because everything has to always be so positive. My own MIL says things like "oh that happened because they weren't listening to God, or weren't praying enough". Not About This. That is precisely why we haven't said a thing to her. Or To Any Christian. I can't handle the you guys must stand on the Word and keep confessing speech.

Well today, I decided I'm out of denial and tomorrow I need to make our appointment with a fertility specialist and just go hear what's what.

The other thing is I'm not even sure how far I'm prepared to go but that really is another post. I need my beauty sleep after all.

Good night.

My personality profile

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Thursday Thirteen #1 - This week at work

1. On Monday we went on a strategy conference far, far away (okay, 157km round trip). I hate driving long distances so this was very stressful for me.
2. Fortunately the venue made up for the distance because it was absolutely beautiful. And the food was very good too, which is always a plus!!!
3. Unfortunately the distance traveled surpasses what I normally do in a week, so petrol-wise that's not good. And these guys are so wealthy it seems petty for me to claim back the money.
4. I left home at 5:55 and returned at 19:00. This caused me to miss my hip-hop dance class which did not impress me in the least.
5. As a result of the conference, we are adding more structure to our department. Normally this is a good thing because I like clearly-defined processes.
6. However, our project manager is sending out form upon form and frankly, I'm concerned that I won't have time to action and actually do my work if I have to be minuting everything!
7. I took the bull by the horns (as they say) and chatted to her this morning. Exactly what is the purpose of this doc? Who is this doc intended for? So isn't this duplicating work? Eventually she conceded that I can use my own systems as long as the main things are documented (this is on my main portfolio).
8. At lunch today, I spilt mushroom and herb cup-a-soup all over my desk. Some of it splashed on my keyboard too so I had to log a call for them to swop keyboards. How disgusting - it is amazing how much soup one cup is when it's all spread out.
9. Today was Weigh-Less weigh in and……… I only gained 1kg since the last time I weighed (3 weeks ago). This is obviously all the holidaying in Thailand and Malaysia. (Two other ladies gained 1.2 and 1.8 kg in a week despite following the plan, so I was ecstatic at my small gain).
10. The party I mentioned some time ago? Well, our colleague came in to say her final goodbyes before she flies to Vegas on Saturday. The dept has already changed because she honestly was the life of the place.
11. My main campaign has been stressing me out a bit this week. Why? Because I can't control other people's work and they keep promising delivery dates, not delivering and I have to pacify the client. The client doesn't even believe me anymore and this is frustrating because IT"S NOT ME!
12. I am dealing with it through excessive reading of blogs and blogging.
13. I'm doing the monthly blog posting thing but I'm cheating a bit – I have 6 blogs in total so I'm posting somewhere every day. I have committed to posting here every 2nd day though. A strange thing has happened though – I find myself easily posting to at least 2 blogs a day.

And that's my first Thursday Thirteen.

Women are the same everywhere

Apparently I've been so out of touch that I didn't even know there was a blog challenge thingy happening this month. Well, now that I know, I'm up for it. I'm going to blog something every day. It will not all be on this blog considering I have a couple of business ones too, but there's only 23 days left - I'm sure I can do it (famous last words).

We got back from our holiday in Thailand and Malaysia a few days ago. The sightseeing was beautiful and so was all the food and shopping but I'm always more interested in the people and their culture.

One thing that really stood out to me in Asia is how obsessed the women are about their looks.

1. We caught many shop assistants preening themselves in front of their hand mirrors when they were not helping customers.
2. All the ads on TV are about being whiter and having fairer skin.
3. The health and beauty aisles are FULL of skin lighteners.

I'll admit that at first I thought how ridiculous it all was and then it struck me - we're all the same, just about different things.

I have curly hair and I want straight hair. In the past when I had good hair years, people with straight hair used to look longingly at my curls. Alas, those days are gone forever, but I digress.

White people want to be browner so they bake in the sun to tan, and these Thai and Malaysian ladies want to be whiter.

And of course, we all want to be thinner...

Even though we're all so diverse and have such vastly different lifestyles, there's still this common bond.

On the whole, my self-esteem is pretty much intact (or I'm just thick-skinned). But I do wonder at which stage (or age) do we get to this point? The one where we don't think we're good enough or pretty enough just as we are.

I wonder why it's not enough to just enhance what we naturally have?