I had big plans for tonight

as I have a LONG list of things to blog but my back is killing me because I've THROWN myself into creating and getting little projects done:

1. I made two little things for the kids (activities, I suppose) and I forgot to pin it but I know the blog so I'll go back, find it, pin it and then I can put it on my Pinterest Projects board :)
2. got together a little loveliness for a blog friend
3. took tons of pics of things for the blog - projects and so on
4. properly organised all my little pages for my 2012 year in review scrapbook, ready with photos up to and including April. Now I literally just need to write up the highlights every month, print 3 pics and stick. Would anyone like to know how I arrange my book? As you can see, I have a very low need to document every little thing so I find this a really refreshing way to keep track in a non-OCD way.
5. finalised the Sabie mini-scrapboo (put in the pics)
6. put together pics for Nanny V from the little photoshoot I did  (she's doing well, by the way - still pregnant so no prem labour)
7. half put together another little something for another friend
8. half put together my nephew's birthday present. My sister says something to me like "oh I'll give this to Mummy to bring to you" and I'm like "have you heard of the Post Office????!!!" so she has been duly bossed encouraged to post something to my kids. A mere R2,50 = such a lot of happiness (at least for me!) Tomorrow we will make cards and put lots of stickers and happiness on a BIG parcel that will zip its way to the birthday boy in PE. It's so easy to buy things for this little boy because he's so grateful - I love it!

This afternoon D went to gym with Kendra so Connor and I took a 50-minute walk around the block that should have taken maybe 10 mins. He and I were both in heaven - he was looking at leaves, picking up sticks and little rocks without being rushed and I was snapping away. I don't even want to THINK about how many pics I took.

Connor says things like, "hello little dog" when he sees dogs. This makes me and their owners smile.

He says to me, "Mummy, can we do this again tomorrow? WITH Kendra?" I love this boy's heart - he always thinks of his sister. I said, "maybe... if you guys are good and SLEEP for a change".

Remember these kids don't sleep for us anymore, only for the new Nanny S.


How was your Saturday?

PS Yes, I'm well aware I'm totally blocking out my work troubles. Denial is working well this weekend!

{Friendship Friday} No, I'm not okay

Four friends have asked me over the last 24 hours if I'm okay.

No, I'm not 100s.

By the way, 100s is a phrase we use in South Africa. Do you use it too?

I put this down to 3 things:

1. I really and truly just want to get this book DONE so last night I worked til 11.40 on fixing things for the Kindle girl, fixing other things and uploading the new book for print. Oh, and working on the website for the book. I've made a commitment to my coach to get all these bits and pieces DONE by next Friday so I can just relax. And throw myself a mini-party creating :)
2. My husband is STILL not decided if he's coming to the US with me or not. This is stressing me out because I want to book already. My kind colleagues's been checking prices for me and she tells me the prices have gone up $200 every week for the last two weeks. Have you heard about our weaking Rand? UGGGHHHH
3. Work. I honestly don't know if I'm getting stupid in my old age or if it's a confidence thing or a skill thing but I can't seem to figure out something seemingly "simple" for my boss. And last night I had a nightmare about it which is my signal to take some action or else. After I hit publish on this, I'll close all other programmes on my computer and work my little butt off (still optimistic so there's hope!) to see if I can get my mind engaged. And then come Monday I need to talk about it to my boss. Because I cannot live like this - I have a very low tolerance for rubbish in my life, I need to take action to fix it.

Anyway, the point of all that ramble was both cathartic (thanks for listening) and is also the topic of today's post.

Because this post is my answer to those 4 friends, most of whom read the blog. Otherwise I would email and answer their question honestly.

I must admit to feeling a lot irritated when I ask someone how they're doing and they just say, "oh fine" and then later you find out BIG STUFF is happening and you were not able to support them through it because they didn't share it with you.

I do get that it is that person's choice to share or not, but I like to think I'm a genuine enough person that when people share their stuff I can honestly empathise with them, or even try and help if I can.

And therefore, when people do trust me and share their stuff, I really feel warm towards them.

One of you wrote me a lovely email about your stuff which I so appreciate because it means that you trust me to be your friend through it.

I don't take this lightly. I consider it an honour!

If I keep trying and people are always reticent to share with me, I start easing off and in my mind I classify the friendship as "lite" rather than deep. I know we need all kinds of friends so this helps to lower MY expectations but still keep the relationship for what it apparently is.

Over to you - do you answer honestly with your friends if they ask you if you're okay? Why or why not? Have you then seen it hamper the friendship going forward?

PS there was a lesson on post-processing in Superhero Photo this week. I normally do nothing with my photos. Really, nothing - I plug in my camera, delete the duds and those are the pics I print (like the ones above) and already I'm happy with the quality. So last night I took a tiny break and played with some stuff in Picasa. I tell you, it could quite easily be addicting. Thank goodness I have no time for faffing :)

Diary of a self-portrait

Crikey, this post is getting tons of views. Thank you all for reading and for enriching the discussion by adding your voice.

*********************************

The other week when I shared my self-portrait, I said I'd show you how many I actually took to get that one pic. 

Well, it took 9 pics to get one I liked.

By the way, that loveliness is a rosette necklace on top of my dark grey t-shirt (I love this t-shirt so much - reminds me of lovely, grey skies LOL).

I got it from the lovely Jess at Four37 Designs - go get your one and we can be cyber twins :)

 

And this is my favourite of the batch - I like the angle and the shadows. Also the pic flatters my neck quite a bit, don't you find? Ha!

What's your favourite type of self-portrait? I like anything unconventional!

Little stabs in my heart

29 weeks pregnant; also the last night we ran cell group at our house :)

So I alluded to this the other day on my mother's day post but I've been feeling a tad sensitive lately.

There's a preggy bellies class at my gym in the same studio straight after my Zumba class on a Saturday morning so about 12 (huge) pregnant bellies are literally in my face every week.

(I think they're all first-time moms because they sound a lot like we did three years ago - you know, all optimistic and excited :) Clearly they don't know about the sleep deprivation!)

We've also noticed a lot of pregnant people in the family room at church.

But after I read the lovely Gabrielle Blair's spacing kids post  I had an aha moment about the church thing.
It makes sense that I'm seeing pregnant women everywhere since a lot of their first "babies" are also 2 - 3 years old and this seems to be the "ideal" space between kids. Hmmm.

Although at my work this happened last year. Two guys whose wives were pregnant with me both had their second kids last year.

The point of this rambling is that it still stings. The infertility, that is.

Maybe it shouldn't but it does.

I'm 100% sure most of those people had the normal experience to get pregnant :) and it obviously still needles me that we and a lot of you had to go through hell and back to have our children.

I don't bedgrudge other people from growing their families; I just wish it wasn't so hard for some of us.

Tell me, does this bother you at all? Seeing people get easily pregnant when you've had to go through infertility, IVF, adoption, miscarriages, etc.

{Create} washi tape coasters

Well, I haven't posted about washi tape since January but never fear, my love for washi tape still runs strong as ever.

I happened upon a blog, saw what she did with washi tape and coasters and I was inspired.

I happened to have a set of 4 glass posters I'd bought at Sheet Street for about R16 ($2) sometime last year.

So I got to work.

Basically I just picked co-ordinating tape colours and did them on the diagonal.

So therapeutic (as always!) and so satisfying when done so quickly. All 4 were done in about 20 minutes.

this is actually not the one I use in here - I just wanted it to match more :)

If you really want to do these as gifts, you probably should match them a bit more. I have one in the study, one on my bedside table and the two are spare....for now.

I'd done these just before the kids had to go to sleep but of course, they were intrigued and also wanted to make coasters.

I promised them we'd do some together and so after gym on the Saturday morning, we made coasters.

I cut squares of cardboard (the ones that come in the packs of pillowcases and sheets) and produced mini rolls of decorative tape. These I bought at Asia City some time back - I think 8 rolls for R15.

I wasn't going to let them go wild with my washi tape!

Here's Kendra modelling her coaster - isn't it pretty?

.

They were super-chuffed with their coasters the entire weekend :)

So there's my killing two birds with one stone - creative time for me, and creating memories with the kids.

What have you created lately?

Have you done any washi tape crafts yet?

Sweets, sobbing, sewing, scrapbooks and scones

this is a bad pic of the left hand but you can start seeing the smudginess

right hand - smudgy nails very clear

I said to Mandy earlier this week that there are two types of mothers:

1. one doesn't say anything and hopes for the best with Mother's Day (and is often disappointed)

and

2. one makes her requests known and is sure to have at least some expectations met :)

I'm the second type so I told D to get gifts from him and the kids (we do small things) AND a card.

And then I said a good day for me would be church, lunch here at home (just us 4) - because I can't stand spending "theme" days in restaurants where they squeeze in more tables than necessary, charge the earth and give slow service, and then some alone time while the three of them visit his mother.

He agreed with me that it sounded lovely.

last Sunday the kids thought I was the coolest mother in the world when I said, "do you want lollipops?" D said, "are you SURE that's a good idea?" and I whispered, "it's all yoghurt!"

I love when they run around the garden like crazy kids. And yes, shorts in May - unheard of!

But then we had a little bit of drama.

His sister phoned to find out what they were doing for his mother.

He told her what our plans were and she wanted us all to have lunch together.

Normally this is not a problem but you'll all remember that they are not easy people to have over
(easy people for me means you get on with it and help yourself to coffee/ tea if you feel like it - I have TWINS) and are real work.

I heard him on the phone say something like, "well, it's Marcia's day too. It's not just about Mom" and my chest swelled :) I was so proud of him.

Anyway they were both a bit miffed (the mother gets all "cold" and "British" - no offence to anyone!) but that was that.

the moon last Sunday night - pic by D

So today we went to church and there was a new teacher at children's church. Connor announces immediately, "we're not allowed sweets" which was also a very proud moment - I loved it. 

Boundaries straight off the bat.

Afterwards we raced home for lunch - pizza, salad and garlic bread - and a milestone. For the first time ever the kids were allowed to sit at the dining-room table with us, on my suede chairs, with carpet! I still think of that carpet as new even though it's been 3 years already.

Of course, I put towels over the chairs and they had to wear bibs but all in all, they did well. We had to remind Connor that if he wanted to walk around, he'd go straight back to the high chair. 

my morning orange - this is my routine when the weather starts cooling - don't you love the colour?!

After lunch they set off and even though I was sorely tempted to clean, I quickly tidied the dining room and bathroom (this potty business means they trash the place every time we go do the business) and went to the study.

I had to have a cup of tea so caught up on my google reader and through a couple of clicks, read this post that made me cry the ugly cry. Seriously, I sobbed. Not for the same reason the lady cried. I sobbed so hard at the thought of those boys waiting 341 days for a sponsor. I can't imagine how abandoned they feel when other kids are being sponsored all around them. Oh, I'm a marshmellow inside.

Anyway, had to get myself together so I decided to sew. Except I didn't thread the thing properly and the thread bust loose and I can't remember how to thread the machine. So I gave up on that for now.

And finally did what I actually wanted to do today - my Sabie mini-scrapbook. I'm telling you - there's no better way to get things done than a quick mini-book. When this post publishes, I'm going to go through my pics and choose the ones to have printed and then I can take pics...

I'm thinking of doing a monthly craft afternoon if there's enough interest - I've seen something similar on at least two blogs where a group of ladies in the city come together once a month to do a craft. One group does the same thing but the other group comes together and each one does whatever she wanted to get done that month.

I like a combination of both ideas. Maybe every 3rd one the same and then on the other two, catch up on your own ideas. So I would start the thing by showing how I do the mini-scrapbooks and provide all the materials for each person to make their own there and then. The ladies would then just pay for the stuff so each one doesn't have to run around finding things and can just come to create.

What do you think? Would you come?

And lastly, I did a favour for a friend of mine and bought something for her (with her money but it had to be on my card using my loyalty points) and yesterday when I got home, D told me she'd just been and dropped off a box for me. When I looked inside, I SCREAMED! Yes, I did. It was a box of scones. 

Now here's the thing - she honestly makes the best scones I've ever tasted (and I'm a scone person) and she knows I think so, so this really felt like a labour of love just for me. My love language is acts of service :) D just came in and said, "please tell K those were the best scones in living memory " 

LOL

So I had a lovely day (even the sobbing was kind of lovely).

How was your Sunday?

Happy Happy?

PS This is the 4th Mother's Day that I've had children (okay, they were in utero in year 1) and yet, the pain of infertility is still there. I will write more but I realised yesterday in the gym when the instructor said, "who of you are mothers?" that a question like that still hurts me so much.

Manicures and pedicures

Today when I woke up my manicure and pedicure were both ruined.

After they did the pedicure I wore slip slops for about 7 straight hours and then I wore my bedsocks to bed.

What? You don't wear bedsocks? :)

And today my big toes are all smushed and horrible.

Same with my fingernails except nothing on hands but normal sleep behaviour resulted in smushing of 4 out of 5 nails on each hand.

This is nonsense.

my hand against the Sabie Falls :)

Yes, it was a Groupon but it is still R290!

This was only my second manicure ever but they literally painted one hand, then the next, NO BREAK for the nails to dry, and then straight onto the second coat on each hand, NO BREAK and then top coat.

I actually said to her, "are you SURE that's going to be fine? Even with my quick dry nail polish I still leave 10 minutes between coats just to let it dry completely."

"Yes, it will be fine," she said.

Liar.

So I've already taken off the fingernail polish because I can't stand that smudged look (it's bad - I tried to take a self-portrait - not sure if the pics are any good because of light and I was pressing the shutter with my left hand) and I'm now sporting green nail polish.

I'm 80% convinced I should complain.

Would you?


For those of you who get regular mani/ pedicures, is this normal? Don't they let the nails dry properly? Do your nails ever smudge?

{Friendship Friday} When kids come between friends

these are all new except for the two big bottles. The square bottle on the left is my signature colour and it's called Sienna :)

So how has your week been?

I had a Groupon special today - facial, mani and pedi. The results were worth the price (my skin hasn't felt this silky smooth in years) but I won't go back because it was not in the least bit relaxing.

Picture it - legs twisted in one direction for one girl to work on my toes, torso twisted in another direction for another girl to do my nails and another customer jabbering away on her cell phone about labour practices and motivating for a position blah blah blah. Clearly an HR gal :)

And then a very bright room for my facial so I had to squint my eyes and eventually I couldn't anymore and shouted, "PLEASE will you do something about those lights" and so she did.

I had to cheer myself up by buying another 3 little nail polishes on the way out of the shopping centre - tangerine, green and nu.de.

this messy manicure was done by me (today's one is only the second one I've ever paid for :))

 But onto today's topic.

A dear blog reader sent me this question and I thought, "yesssss. I can relate to that" so let me tell you my story first.

My friend, Nat, has an angel child (according to the Baby Whisperer). Really he is. Natalie has WHITE couches and vases of WATER with flowers everywhere and this child doesn't even touch them.

Of course I practically gasped when I saw this, imagining my kids in that situation, and she said she tells him, "these are Mummy's things".

I tried that approach but mine still touch a million times before they get it.

When D1 was a baby (not yet walking), Nat visited me and I said to D, "I'm a little scared. What if our two fight with him and we end up fighting?"

Nat is one of my most favourite people in all the world so you can imagine I don't want these little friends coming between us.

Fortunately, all went well and my children behaved and later... D1 got tougher. Now I smile inside when he tells them he was playing with whatever toy.

We do have very similar values, especially with parenting, which helps a lot.

But what if D1 was allowed to behave in a way I found totally inappropriate?

I'm not talking about small things because there are times when I wouldn't have perhaps disciplined her kid and I know there are times when she thinks I'm being a bit much with mine.

That's not what I mean.

Or D1 was so badly behaved I wouldn't want him around my kids?

I'm also not talking about special needs kids. But if you have experiences relating to SNK, please share in the comments, especially you, J.

Thankfully, with ALL of my friends, all of our kids haven't been an issue yet (that I know of).

Is it only a matter of time though?

I read on Ask Moxie a month or two ago about how parents stopped being friends because of how their kids treated one another. One mother (either in the post or comments) cited an example where the other child's mother said she didn't want their kids being friends anymore since her kid was a bad example.

Don't you just cringe at the thought?

If you read that post, there are very understandably lots of hurt feelings.

Anyway, back to the blog reader.

She has a good friend but their parenting styles differ a lot and, as such, she really doesn't want her kids exposed to the kind of behaviour her friend tolerates from her kids.

I totally get it.

This is a major reason I don't want mine to go to pre-school just yet. I'm not ready for the behaviour they may pick up.

She asked me if you can be friends with someone but only in certain contexts like non-kid activities.

I mentioned my one friend on the blog once where we can't get together as couples because they (the two of them) go crazy when they're with other people. I now see her alone (in fact, we have a date on Tuesday).

So I say a resounding YES!

But what do you think?

Have kids ever come between your friendships? Tell me more.

Are your and your friends parenting styles similar?

Do you have situations like mine where you're only one type of friend?

{SP3} oooh, portraits

I'm two weeks "behind" with these posts but I'm focussing on having FUN and not on feeling behind.

This week was probably my least favourite week for some very superficial reasons:

1. I feel a bit conspicuous asking random strangers if I can take a photo of them (which is what I really want to do - any takers???).
2. I'm tired of only taking pics of my kids. And I can't get nice still pics of my kids just posing. Although you'll see a couple of pics of friends' kids.
3. I only got 4 of the 12 prompts done and you know what an overachiever I am.

Nevertheless, I'm still loving Superhero and you really need to sign up so we can all play together in June.

This week, there was a tip to create your own studio with a sheet/ whatever. To be honest, I didn't read too closely since 1) I can't take pics indoors because I SUCK at lighting and 2) the white sheet thing is not really my thang :)

I'm much more into walls, fences, etc. as a backdrop.

What I'm LOVING is realising my "style", such that it is. Like I know instinctively if something will work for me or not.

I love how she gives lots of tips but still says to play and just see what works and what doesn't.

Anyway, here is a selectionof pics for your viewing pleasure :)

As you know, I don't mind kids not looking or smiling or any of that. Actually I want them just as they are - it adds to the drama :)

Kendra showing me her goth nails - she insisted on black nail polish

Friday

gathering - doesn't that stem look like a weapon?!

I like the expression in her eyes so the black and white seemed to suit it

Actually, now that I've posted them, maybe less is more? I actually really like a lot of these.

Which are your favourite pics?

Do you like taking pictures of people? 

I do but only the stuff I want to take pics of - the posed ones rarely interest me, but watch out if you have beautiful hands (M!) or cute shoes

(I took a GORGEOUS pic of a lady's shoes this week - it's on the point and shoot so am lazy to download but she was chatting totally unaware and there I was, on the floor near her feet. Yes!)

PS please be warned - bring your lipstick along because if you see me anytime over the next month, I will be in your face with my big camera capturing your beauty!
PPS Use code MAMASROCK49 til Sunday and you'll only pay $49 for Superhero Photo or Elevate the Ordinary. 

It's that time of year again - birthdays!

I can hardly believe it - in less than two months my kids will turn three.

THREE.

Remember the half-birthday party?

Well, it's time to plan the proper birthday party!

Here's little bit from last year's party... the ladybug/ garden theme.

the kids look so young here!

So it won't surprise you to know that I've had a couple of ideas in mind since last year.

I liked one so much I bought the party printables soon after the last party - yes, crazy.

Some people who read the blog but don't comment will be invited so I don't want to mention the theme on here in case I spoil the surprise for them.

I have the raw materials for the party favours already... and I'm going to have such fun putting them together. They will be small but cute.

Hopefully the party theme colours will match a lot of the dishes I already have. I'm also really trying to use up paper cups, paper plates and serviettes where possible as it appears I went a bit mad with the previous parties and overbought. I still have serviettes from the kids' first birthday party!

I was so tempted to say "no presents" but for the first time, the kids are actually really into presents because they see me giving people gifts all the time. Connor even brings me little treasures from outside (a feather, a leaf, a flower, etc) and says, "here Mummy, a present for you". Yes, I melt!

So I can't take that away from them but we have an idea for the family to contribute towards to reduce stuff.

My friend, R, is turning 30 at the end of this month and had a FABULOUS idea on her party invite. If we want to give a gift, we should bring money to donate towards a cancer organisation. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH.

It got me thinking about my birthday and you won't be in the least surprised to hear what I'm going to ask for. But one birthday at a time.

I need to think about food, cake (if only my sister was here, I could get her to make the cake) and start working on the list and the invites.

I'm a little torn - not sure if I should have it here at home again or if I should have the party at the gym. My gym does parties at R85 per child and that includes people to watch the kids (YES - free babysitting), an activity and (healthy) food. And of course, that means no cleaning for me before or after! Thing is... it could get very expensive so maybe I should first send out a "save the date", wait for the RSVPs and then see how many I'm left with. Ha!

Decisions, decisions.

I've decided NOT to have a professional photographer this year unless I can find one really cheap. I can take pics of the decor and details (I love doing that anyway, esp now I've discovered the AV setting) beforehand. I do want to book someone to take some 3-year-old pics of the kids. Otherwise, my camera will be there and I'm going to tell everyone to grab it and take pics as they see fit!

Am I missing anything?


Would you have it at home or at the gym? Do you think that's good value for money?