What else do you see?

Okay, so I have to admit -



The comments on yesterday's post that you all have been seeing my sad eyes for awhile (for months, Cat?) threw me a bit.

But more to the point, why have you not said anything?

!

Seriously :)

So tell me now, what else are you seeing?


PS Arianna, thanks for all your lovely comments over the past couple of weeks. Your email is disabled so I can't reply to you but your weekend sounds like it was fabulous :)

There are 3 parts to a good weekend

Well, that's true for me.

Somehow the weekend always feels off if only two of the three elements are there:

1. getting out and about
2. getting things done at home
3. relaxing both by myself and with my little family

This weekend we went to gym (I skipped Weigh-Less), D and I had a quick lunch date to Talk About Things, and then we went to a party in the crazy heat.

However, just like last year, I'm not going to complain about the heat except to say I keep forgetting how extreme heat (33 degrees) affects me.

At the party I took a Panado while we were still there and when we got home, I went to lay down and read .... before I knew it, I was out like a light.

It seems Connor is the same as I am.



I tried to feed them supper. He took about one forkful and then said, "can you please put my food away? I just want to go sleep". Poor thing.

Panado for him too (did you know they now make kiddie melt-in-the-mouth Panado - I'm a HUGE fan) and he was out like a light.

At breakfast he was much the same but managed 1 Weetbix. He usually eats at least 2 plus fruit and toast.

Off we went to church. For lunch he had about 4 spoons of fruit salad and some yoghurt and went back to sleep.

And finally at about 4 pm he emerged from his room, his normal self, eyes sparkling and slightly naughty (which I love, especially when they haven't been themselves).

When he told me exactly what he wanted for supper and asked me to please go make it NOW, I knew he was all better.

For the record, he had a ham sandwich (two slices of bread, Mummy), tomato (they still like theirs chopped up on the side), yoghurt, milk, water and juice, and a scone with blackcurrant jam.

washi tape organised last weekend

I decluttered some toys and puzzles, and when I turned my back, the kids discovered them again. So they negotiated to play with them just one more day.

I said if they want those things, that's fine but I want that big black plastic wheelie container FILLED with other things. I'm playing tough.

And last but not least, I finished a gorgeous book, Belong to me. I'm on such a good streak.

How was your weekend?

I'd like you to meet... Bunny

This little guy just begged to come home with me a few weeks ago. I planned him for the kids but I actually love him so much I decided to keep him for me.

I turn him so his head faces out the door... and I told the kids he's watching them to see if they're being naughty in my study :)

Isn't he beautiful? He makes me smile :)

What's making you smile today?

{Friendship Friday} I need you

friend photos up to May - I can't believe I looked so happy then

I've had the most awful day today despite it being D's and my 21 year "going out" anniversary :)

He has been his normal steady great self BUT...

I can't share the full extent of things but some more work stuff happened.I am this close to "just leaving".

Please keep praying for me.

D says it's spiritual warfare and I'm inclined to agree because what else can it be why things are going so very wrong?!

I mean, really, in over 19 years working (yes, I'm old!), this kind of stuff has NEVER happened to me.


Thanks for praying, friends.

And J, seriously, you're the best!
XXX


Anything good happening in your world?

PS off to watch Seinfeld with my D :)

What I want to do this summer

We need a cheerier post around here, don't you think?

twins in cahoots

 

Things I want to do this summer (I classify summer all the way through til the end of Feb):

1. Go on a holiday to Ballito
2. Get a new job (we all know that's number 1, right?)
3. Read another 6 physical books
4. Start working out with JB again (personal trainer)
5. Go to the dentist
6. Fully update my LinkedIn profile (it's about 40% updated)
7. Have a professional photo shoot
8. Socials - Laura
9. Just think about having Christmas here.... nah!
10. Go to work and take photos of kids and the jacarandas
11. Sort out school thing
12. Somehow take ballet photos of K
13. Sort out Christmas - SOOOO uninspired it feels like 2008, the year I boycotted Christmas because of the infertility. Now it's infertility at work. oy!
14. Do a couple more offers to try and get closer to my income goal for the year
15. Go on red city tour with D
    

What's on your list for summer or autumn?

PS thanks so much for all the feedback on the school post. We appreciate it!

{Wordless Wednesday} Bradley's party

We went to Bradley's party, our fearless fertility support group leader, K's son... and now she has a second gorgeous little baby, a few weeks ago.

He turned 3 - where has the time gone?!

look at the light in this one and then in the last one

birthday boy

I love, love, LOVE this cupboard - that pink is perfect, isn't it?!

blurry but good :)

"real food" aka cheese muffin

YES!

little bitty baby perfection

the three of us

and here''s where the sky was clouding over for afternoon rain

Favourite pic?

So, school and my boy

I'm not a huge fan of the school these days.

Not sure exactly what it is but I'll admit that it has crossed my mind that it may not be the school, it may just be me and my "exacting" standards.

Because the truth is... this was the cleanest and most organised school for kilometres around here. And if we decide we don't like this school, then there is a COMMUTE in our future..........and huge logistical challenges.

I love K's teacher entirely and totally. K does too and tells me often how much she loves her teacher. So much so I let her at the washi tape (!) and she made a card for her on the weekend. The feeling is mutual because teacher C tells me also how much she loves having K in her class.

Happy days.

As for C and his teacher, things are better, I think, but we'll see in a few weeks when we have the next parent-teacher meeting.

C said last week he doesn't want to go to school because his throat is sore (this was true - end of summer little colds) and he has to sing 20 songs and don't we know it's sore to talk and sing when your throat is sore?! These are the concert songs. D wrote an email and the reply was that he has to stand wherever they say but he doesn't have to sing loud.



Then I hear K saying things to C that he's lazy. People, if you don't know this about me already, unhelpful labels like these are like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Me being the bull. I LOSE IT.

When I asked K where she gets language like that (we don't say lazy at home), she said Teacher J calls Connor lazy. And then I truly lost it.

At home, not at school.

Because Connor is the last person I would ever call lazy. Both physically (tonight he cleaned the entire bathroom - I gave him two stars) and mentally. He gets frustrated if he can't do things nicely (as he calls it) but he's not lazy. I would call him stubborn and emotional - it may be 4-years-old, it may be Connor.

I said to D that night that you can smack a child and he's forgotten it an hour later but labels stick and do deep damage. (you might disagree with me - that's fine)

There was another incident, small but niggly in that way you can't quite put your finger on it.

And again, I just have a sense something's not right. He looks like Charlie Brown when he's at school. That sad and quiet and downcast look (kind of like I feel nowadays! :)).

Now again, I'm well aware that my emotions are all over the place with the work thing (cried again today - nothing "happened" - just I feel so hopeless - my word for this month is hope - I just want to be able to see a path out) but I don't have the peace of God about this school thing.

Of course, if you're a Christian you'll know it's madness to even THINK of starting that conversation with the school. "I can't quite put my finger on it but I just feel like God's telling me there's something not right over here" - let's see how that one goes down!

So I just kept quiet and continued praying and praying.



And then the other night D said to me as we were falling asleep, "Marsh, I don't know if this school is right for Connor. It feels like there's something going on" and I shouted, "BINGO!"

Seriously :)

They have assessments this week and next week and after that we will have another meeting.

This post is going nowhere fast!

What do you think is going on?

I thought maybe because of the sweets thing, they don't like me (this is probably true) but I'm really not sure anymore.

D and I just talked some more - he thinks C lacks confidence because of his teacher's "hardness". Since he's the more easygoing of the two of us, he's going to go snoop a bit at school in the mornings. I'm also going to ask Nanny S to get Connor talking and to chat to the teacher's assistant. And of course, I'll keep praying.

So, M, are you happier now?

I feel like talking just a bit about this being happier thing.

You see, when people know about the job thing and some time has passed, I get the question, "are you happier now" a lot.

A lot!

Also since I finished the project in the CBD and am back at the mothership, I also get the question a lot.

I explained it like this to D the other night.

Of COURSE I'm happier.

The building is gorgeous (y'all are probably tired of me going on and on about it), I have connectivity (wifi!), quick emails, clean bathrooms and kitchen and most importantly, my people are all around if I need to chat to someone about something.

But.

And this is a big but.

I was at a 1 or 2 out of 10 before (because I still had a semblance of an attitude to keep positive daily and look for any good thing) and now I'm at a 3 - 4.

So yes, I'm happier, but the "new happy" is still nothing to write home about.

And it certainly is not enough or even acceptable for someone used to playing at around 7 - 8, and higher.

So that's where I'm at.

Happier but still not Happy!

Does this make sense?

I have such a lot of work to do, already, and the new project has barely started, so trying hard not to get overwhelmed.

But enough of me, how are you? Where on the happy scale are you?

PS if you're praying, don't stop. I really feel the covering and I think know that's what is getting me through.

I'm sure I owe you tons of updates

so here are five for now...

1. I feel so disorganised in my life but I'm determined to get super organised again. My whole world is brighter when things are in their place (don't laugh).

Anyway, so yesterday at about 8 pm I realised it was the 4th October and entries would be closing for the iphoneography competition.

I had to move my buns (as Marie Forleo says), make some hard decisions and submit my entries. 5 submitted - 3 scenery, 2 still life.......................

What does this tell me?

I need to work on the portraits and such with the iphone - maybe a project for next year?

2. It turns out I'm allergic to my office!

I used enough tissues to fill half a bin on Wed, had to go get some emergency meds from a colleague (!) and was off work on Thursday.

Felt awesome from lunch time but then.... at work on Friday morning, it all started up again. It's the darn aircon.



3. I bought a yellow and grey cotton snood today at Woolworths. I always say D and the kids are bad for my spending because in the space of about 20 minutes, I spent R750.

Snood and summer hat for me (polka dots if you must know :) ...I'll get D to take a pic), two summer hats for each kid - one stays at school and one for home - because you saw how big they've gotten and their heads are also big... ;) and some pjs and stokies for Connor. Do your kids wear stokies?

The lovely L sent me a link to a South African company who makes them. For two it would be R210 because they have a buy one, get one free offer.

And the Ooh Baby lady is also prepared to ship to SA :)

4. Today was the choc.olate fes.tival.....

What eventually happened was I asked my friend, C, what she spent on all the chocs because she bought them all and handed the whole lot in at one time. She said just under R250 for both kids. So I made a transfer of R300 as our donation to the fundraising. Done.

Of course the principal is still being "frosty" towards me.

If I had the emotional bandwidth, I'd deal with it but right now, I'm very busy focussing on praying and trusting to learn the lessons I need to learn so I can move onto the next thing.

5. I've just read Carry on, Warrior and it was really great. I gave it 4 stars and a nice review... for me (I'm terrible with reviews) partly because of the theology disconnect.

I'd be interested to hear if you've read it and what you thought. Reading a Goodreads review is like playing the lottery - you just don't know what you'll get. I often find myself thinking, "did we just read the same book?"


Now, part of this getting organised thing...



What do I still need to update you about?

1. review of the fantastic book I read in a day!
2. friend situations
3. latest friend meet-ups
4. vague elephant in the room update
5. holidays?
6. Mrs FF? (joke - she's keeping mum about everything :))

Any other updates?
What's going on in your world?

PS Bryan Adams will be here in January. Tickets went on sale at 9 am and ours were booked by 9:10 probably by D.

{Fashion Friday} Infinity scarves

 

Hello!

You're not at the wrong blog - I just feel like talking about clothes today.

Remember my great love for the snood this winter?

Well, yes, it really helped keep the back of my neck warm and added a touch that made me feel more put together.

In fact, I read on Rachel Meeks's blog, Small Notebook (do any of you read her?) about an outfit looking put together when there are 3 items. So pants and a shirt are fine, but if you add a cardigan or a jacket, it looks a million times better.

That's true and lovely and all those good things... and I really saw it with my snoods.

We're in summer here now so I'm back to black pants and a top for work. And I take a summer cardigan with me because I sit opposite a menopausal women who is hot ALL the time. Small price to pay for being back at the mothership!

Normally I'd wear pants, a tank top and a short-sleeved jacket. Of course you can't wear a cardigan over a jacket (if I'm too cold I can't think) so I've stopped wearing my normal summer "uniform" which means I feel a little underdressed.

And then I saw an infinity scarf (summer snood as far as I'm concerned) at Woolworths the other day. Grey cotton material but with silver studs. I hate studs and bling of all kind!!!!

However, now I'm thinking I need to add some of these infinity scarves to the mix.

And then I saw these lovelies. OH MY WORD, too lovely. But she doesn't ship outside of the US. So I'm thinking I should make my own (HAHAHAHA) but seriously, I'm sure Pinterest has one or two bright ideas.

Or if there are any South Africans reading who can actually sew (unlike my fantasy sewing life)... let me know!!!

Do you have one of these "summer" infinity scarves?
What do you think of the 3-item "put together thing?

Look how these babies are growing

I had a little aha moment when I was reading "My one word" this weekend.

You know how the Bible says "behold" in a lot of verses? Well, we all know behold means look but his tweak on it was look, AND look back (review).

So today, let's behold and look at how these babies are growing.

Look at K's head and that glass pane in the door behind her...and then look where it was in the January photo! C's also grown but I feel more shocked by Kendra :)

Robyn, this is the bicycle pump

BABIES!!!!

First day of school pics taken 9 Jan this year.

The rest taken 28 Sept (this Sat - how recent and up to date am I?! It's because I've got about one-sixth of the photos I normally do... on the bright side, I will soon start posting photos of the beach and such :))

20 year anniversary

A little bit of background...

This lovely friend of mine joined the company in Feb and I joined in April a whole 8 years ago.

She'd been caretaking the job I was employed to do in addition to her other work, so she trained me a little bit in the beginning. And then about 5 years later, joined our team. (When people stay, they S T A Y!)

She's an INTP. We only have the T in common so we used to have the best debates and discussions in my old team *sigh*. I still have regular email and coffee chats with her to keep me sane. She's the one I emailed when I was crying in the loo and forgetting I was in the CBD office's toilets, went to look for me :)

Interestingly, she was also the last in-home organising client I took on. That's when I met her husband. They celebrate their anniversary on my birthday :) and it's her house we rented in Plett.

So lovely and intertwined but there it is! 

They've been married 20 years this year with 17, 14 and 11-year-old boys. She said she wanted to have a thanksgiving celebration (which morphed into a vow renewal too) because even though marriage has its ups and downs and sometimes we're all just going through the motions, they actually happen to be in a really great space at this time :)

Isn't that nice?

Onto the pics!

K

K & T

I used to partake of these lemons regularly :)

I love this pic of the oldest son!

shoes!

Which is your favourite pic?


Our 20th anniversary is in 2015 (18 months to go!) and years ago I had this bright idea of doing a marriage renewal on the beach, all romantic and soppy, with a reception for friends and family since we had a TINY wedding.... but I'm rapidly moving towards "eloping" and going travelling instead :)

If I'm still at current company as is my heart's desire, it will be 10 years in 2015 and we get 20 extra leave days as a long service award. I can't even imagine 40 working days leave in one year. Actually, I can. Two months off sounds amazing :)

Do you have plans for your 20th anniversary?