Friendship Friday - on being the initiator (part 543, or so it feels)

I feel like we've spoken a lot on the blog about being the initiator.

I have gone through so many iterations of initiating and before listening to the podcast I spoke about here, I think I'd finally settled on being the initiator in my mind like this:

1. Yes, it is true that I do take action quickly so to get the item ticked off my list, I'm happy to initiate so that it's done. The whole dance of "yes, we must get together" over and over gets old for me real quick.
2. If I initiate, I can first check my calendar and make sure the time and date suit the rest of my life before proposing a date.
3. My one introvert friend told me that the introverts don't like reaching out, so I give extra grace for the introverts ;)
4. I have completely stopped initiating with friends where there is zero reciprocity. That's not to mean we're not friends, but I am free from using my energy to reach out. And I do feel free.

All of that sounds good, right?

It is good. Mostly...

Since I stopped initiating so much, I’m obviously much less busy with socials. I've also found that my world is getting smaller; I realised the other day that I'm never out at night anymore, because I no longer see the two friends I used to meet for supper. I only drive 5 minutes to Spanish while it's dusk and back again in the dark.

I don't think this is good because I don't want to become one of those people who lives in a tiny bubble and never ventures further than 5 minutes away, as convenient as that is.

That's the one thing.



As I mentioned above, I'm not completely cutting people off because (1) that's not my style and (2) in the podcasts I listened to on the Never Unfriended book, she said that we can pull back but we shouldn't shut the door, which I love.

I recently felt that God was therefore saying to hold all this stuff loosely and really only do things from a good heart. God loves a cheerful giver, right? So if I’m feeling resentful about reaching out, maybe that’s not the best time to do it. But when I do think about someone, to use that impetus and contact them there and then.

This seems to be working for me.

What do you think?

I know most of you reading this post do not enjoy initiating.

My questions are: 1) do you still see your friends enough? or are you happy to only see your friends rarely? or 2) are your containers so well set up that that is the reason you don't need to initiate? 3) how do you make it all work for you?

Books I read in August, the Iranian version

Despite having the very best intentions for my birthday month's reading, I did not have the best month for reading (I tell you, it's all the socials!).

However, I read two fantastic books I want to tell you about later.

Total books read: 8
Non-fiction: 3
Fiction: 5

Most disappointing book: My name is Lucy Barton

Despite getting wonderful reviews all over the internet, yes, there were a few things that I loved but I didn't enjoy it very much at all.

The saving grace was it was short.

Other books I really didn't like and the internet loved? The Royal We and Where'd you go, Bernadette.

Moving on to our book club reads...

Crazy Rich Asians 3*- this one is going to be made into a movie and it is perfect movie material.

Glamour, riches, style, love, etc.

The Idea of You 4*- this one made me think about my infertility. I'd forgotten how all-consuming it was at the time. Sigh.

Lovely book.

I posted a quote on Instagram from this book :)

But now, for the two 4.5 star books.



I'd started listening to Funny in Farsi: A memoir of growing up Iranian in America but I listen only in the car (3 days a week) and usually only on the way to work because I'm too tired to concentrate after work.

I'd listened to maybe an hour if that, and then that weekend I happened to read Anne Tyler's Digging to America.

It's the story of two families who adopted kids from China at the same time, and how they stay friends through the years of the story.

Hooked! Had a good morning of reading and I can't wait to get back into it this afternoon. . . What are you reading this weekend? . . . . #bookworm #books #annetyler #marciareads #bookstagram #booksofinstagram #reading #marcialovestea

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@organisingqueen) on Aug 20, 2017 at 1:56am PDT

This is not a book you read like a thriller; instead it's a beautiful story about relationships. My only regret is that I didn't read this on Kindle because I wanted to highlight so many parts.

Gorgeous book. Terisha, you should definitely read it.


Anyway, so then the following week, I listened to the rest of Funny in Farsi, and I think having just come off another book about Iranian people just made me love this one all the more.

So that was a good week of reading for me.

Tell me, have you read any Anne Tyler? This was my first one. If yes, which do you recommend I read next?

I definitely recommend both of those books very much! And do get the audible version which is read by the author!

What was the best book you read in August?

Friendship Friday - on having friendship containers

Sometimes we don't know until listening to an episode if it's one we want to discuss for Podcast Club. We both loved this episode so much that we each listened to it twice 👍🏼 and immediately afterwards I bought the book. . . One of my biggest aha moments was that you need a container for friendship. E.g. if you're work friends and you haven't cultivated the friendship outside of the work container, it'll probably fizzle if one of you leaves that employer. . . Have you found that this has been true for you with work, or another "container" like church, a class, etc.? . . PS podcast club is a container for us 😊 . . PPS from @jenhatmaker's podcast - episode 3 with @shastamnelson . . . . . . . #podcastclub #marcialovespodcasts #bujo #bulletjournal #bulletjournallove #bulletjournalcommunity #bulletjournaljunkies #schneiderpen

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@organisingqueen) on Aug 31, 2017 at 12:49pm PDT

So let's discuss this podcast episode.

It's Jen Hatmaker interviewing Shasta Nelson on friendship. (you can listen at that link, read the transcript, whatever floats your boat)

This lady says there are three things to a good friendship:

1. consistency
2. vulnerability
3. positivity

 All great stuff. Do take a listen.

The one thing I want to talk about today is on the containers piece.

She said that when we have work friends, for example, and one of us leaves that place of employment, if you haven't built that container outside of work, then the friendship fades/ stops in almost all cases.

The container was work.

This also applies to containers like church, clubs, gym, kids' pre-schools, etc.

It's so true for me. The only friendships from my previous company that have survived are those that already had other containers in place.

The rest - gone. And if you know me, not for lack of trying a bit from my side.

So what she says for friendships to flourish, either a container must exist (go to gym together/ run together/ craft together, etc) or one of the parties will have to initiate the get togethers.

It's kind of obvious but like great insights, it takes someone spelling it out for us!



I have 4 containers in my life - work, book club, spanish dance and podcast club (although since our curriculum ended, it's been a bit loose).

The scheduling for the book- and podcast clubs are on my end so take a little bit more admin, but they work.

And it is true - the friendships that I feel are really satisfying for me are set up with recurring meetings (I have two) and I love not having to think about them, and just knowing that they're there to anticipate and enjoy when the time arrives.

Now I have some questions for you:

What are the containers in your life? Do you have friendships inside those containers only, or have you extended them outside of the container too?

PS This is not all I wanted to say but this post is already too long. Meet me back here next Friday? :) 
PPS Here's an excellent post (well, the excellence is mostly in the comments!) on female friendship

The less you blog, the less you blog :)

I have such good intentions but at the end of the day, I suppose I want to read more than I want to blog. Or listen to podcasts and edit photos more than I want to blog #sorrynotsorry

On the bright side, I'm so up to date with photos it doesn't even feel like me, best it's been in years.

I am trying to be a better steward of my time though so I've been tracking (very loosely) what I do every evening.

And now that I write down every evening what I did (again, verrrrry loosely), I'm aware that I have much more time than I think I do, and the same is true at work.

So I'm going to try to be more mindful so I can use all the time better.

But let's talk about August.


Life (and every month) is made up of both good and not-so-good things. It's just the way it is; as Glennon Doyle says, "life is brutiful"

Good things

1. I had a birthday and I did a full birthday review like I do every year. Here's a little write-up of my process.
2. Lots of friend dates, a podcast club discussion on friendship... but we'll talk about that another time
3. I got all my work goals done.
4. I finally tried out a barre180 class and as a result, I moved fitness clubs.
5. Tried three new recipes, one for book club.

Could have been better things

1. I feel like I missed out on some of winter :(
2. Only had 1 walk
3. I'm feeling a bit...weird about friendship. So yes, I need to write about that podcast!

What I learned
 This :)

 

How was your August?

Books I read in July

Edited to add:

Thank you for all the great comments on my last post. I don't know if it's the topic or the 3 weeks without a blog post :) but I loved the engagement!

*****************************************

Gosh and golly!

I realised the other day that I didn't ever post about my July reads.

 

My July numbers:

Books read: 10.... and with those 10, I reached my reading goal of the year, 72.

Non-fiction: 3

Best non-fiction: Born a crime 4.5*

(the other two are blogger books which are never my favourite genre)

a note on Born a Crime - if you've read it and would like to discuss, I'm hosting a group Skype call soon. Comment and let me know as I want to schedule it for mid-September. 

Fiction: 7 

Best fiction: A Window Opens - Elisabeth Egan 5*

Honourable mentions: In twenty years (I love reunion books :)) and Summer House which made me think a lot about ageing.

This month I started a new page in my bullet journal - my books read page.

Help! I've put together a survey on bullet journalling to help me decide what to write about on the blog and if a workshop would be a good idea. The link is in my profile ⬆️ . . Please take the survey if you're even a little bit interested. Otherwise, just admire my lovely Pilot G2 metallic pen and see my books read list for July ☺️ . . How's your Friday looking? . . . #bujo #bulletjournal #bulletjournaljunkies #bulletjournalcommunity #booksread #readinggoals #lifeadmin #pilotg2

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@organisingqueen) on Aug 4, 2017 at 3:34am PDT

I continued and did a similar page this month - it's quick to update and helps when I'm doing my big Goodreads update every month.

What have you read recently that was a pleasant surprise?

Mine was A Window Opens - I LOVED it - surprisingly so or maybe because I hadn't heard about it all over the internet? Hmmmm.

A few thoughts on friendship, not on a Friday - is it all worth it?

I have so much I want to say about lots of different topics (within the friendship category) but in the interest of time, let me just get this out.

So yesterday I was at work and two colleagues were talking about how they don't have friends and their family are their friends.

And anyway, the whole friendship thing is such a drag, lots of work, drama, etc.

Do you think I kept quiet?

If you said no, you would be correct.

Obviously I piped up and said that yes, it is "work" and Lord knows, we've spoken enough on this blog about how someone has to be the initiator, and yes, there can be drama, etc. but through all that, I would still remain open to friendships and invest in friendships because through all that, I still think it's worth it.

Even going through friendship drama has taught me things about myself, like where I need to strengthen boundaries, how I need to show more of God's love in some instances and whether, in the interest of reaching out, I'm actually overextending myself because others don't care. All valuable lessons.

One colleague mentioned that it's perhaps because I'm an extrovert and I need people, that I feel this way.

They are both introverts and told me that once they're home, they are all peopled out and are quite happy never to see another soul except their family in the evenings and on the weekend.

So then two things popped into my mind:

Gosh! Do some of my friends also feel this way? And perhaps that's why when things get a bit hard sometimes (busyness, sick kids, overwhelm) it's easier just to withdraw?
I need to ask the internet :)

Tell me - how do you feel? Is friendship worth it? When the going gets tough, do you give up easily or do you persist?

I'm very curious to hear!

In 90 mins, it's podcast club. Julia and I are talking about a friendship episode and I need to write about that too. So fascinating!

Tuesday Talk on friendships and Trevor Noah

Gosh, I keep thinking, “today is the day I will blog” and then I get sidetracked and instead blog on OrganisingQueen, edit photos or read.

 So let’s just start, shall we? I’m literally the only one in the office - such a rarity – so I’m taking a few minutes to get writing!

Yesterday I had a great friend day.

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@marcia0608) on Jul 24, 2017 at 4:15am PDT

1. I caught up with a friend after travelling to a client meeting and it was so good to chat over a quick lunch in the soft winter sun. These catch ups are always too short but we both had to get back to work. And I always say, something is better than nothing. One of my secrets of adulthood. 
2. Then I left a whatsapp voice message (best things ever!) for another friend wishing her happy birthday (I was a day late!) and she responded to say she’d emigrated! What the what?! So the minute I got home and started warming supper, I whatsapp called her and we had a good 35-minute chat. Divine! 
3. It’s actually been quite the month. I wrote this on Instagram. And since then, I learned of so many more deaths. They have been very concentrated but also, I suppose it's this age...

Four of my friends lost a parent in the last ten days. My mind still cannot comprehend this and I am heartbroken for them. 💔 . . I'm praying for God, the Holy Spirit, to bring them grace, peace and comfort 🙏🏻 . . If you pray, please send out a prayer for these 4 families . . . . #loss #lossofalovedone #winter #winterbranches

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@marcia0608) on Jul 18, 2017 at 12:01pm PDT

But let's end on a lighter note.

I finished listening to Trevor Noah's book on Sunday night. We are going to have a Skype Group Chat soon-ish (after middle of August) so if you intend reading it, I highly recommend it and we can all talk about it.

D and I spoke about this book and nothing else for over an hour yesterday. So interesting to hear different people's points of view.

Let me know if you're in. If you commented on my Instagram post, ,no need to do so here - I will invite from the comments on this and that post.

Oh, I listened to the Audible version but D read the physical book. I obviously prefer a memoir narrated by the author so I'd recommend Audible if you can (only 8.5 hours).

What's been happening in your world?

Guys, I have 8-year-olds

So my two darling children turned 8. I've already bought this book and can't wait to dig in.



If you click through, you'll be able to see the books from all the ages. I highly, highly recommend all of them - they've been a huge help to us through the years. I bought the first one at age 2! And the best is they're short so you can easily read it in two hours (helpful for D who is not a fan of non-fiction).

Anyway, here are some pics of us on their actual birthday. I was so pleased that I insisted because they were the only pics I took that day.

D is taking this with his left hand and we're all trying not to fall over and topple down my steep driveway!

We had separate birthday parties for them - Kendra's on the Friday and Connor's on the Saturday.

We were knackered but both kids had exactly the experience they wanted: K - small, intimate, girls-only, and C - lots of noisy boys!

I'm of two minds if we'll do it the same next year. On the one hand, they both loved it but I prefer D around to help so I can take photos and such. And, as I say, we were exhausted.

D wants them to spread out the parties more like one one weekend and the other two weeks later :)

Anyway, we have a whole 50 weeks to decide on the game plan for when they turn 9!

I will say this - K asked for books for her birthday which was an excellent idea so she got 6 new Enid Blytons and is in heaven!!!

What's going on in your life? What's been happening the last two weeks?

PS I will post about the holiday next :)

What I read this month - June 2017

June was an interesting reading month.

I read 9 books - only the second month with less than 10 books this year. I do, however, plan to remedy that this month :)



I loved Alec Baldwin's memoir, Nevertheless. It was not as entertaining as Rob Lowe's one, but then again, he's had a much tougher life. And I am now following him and his wife on Instagram, shamelessly stalking them and their gorgeous children :)

I loved the Jodi Picoult (she is becoming a fast favourite, but you have to be in the mood for the heavy topics), the Jill Mansell and a new-to-me author, Milly Johnson.

I also loved Bittersweet much more than I thought I would. Today when I printed out my notes, there were 11 pages :0 I did an Instagram story to show how this works a few weeks ago, but go to your book in Kindle or Kindle app. On the top, click the little page with lines, it says My Notebook, click the box with the arrow pointing up, and Export Notebook to Email. I then print it.

I did not love the Carol Mason. If you like books like The Notebook, you possibly would enjoy that one.

I've also discovered when you highlight something, you can highlight, use that same box with arrow to share and then email just the highlight, or copy it into whatsapp/ Instagram (!!!).

Like this:

"The leaves as they spark into wild color just before they die are the world’s oldest performance art, and everything we see is celebrating one last violently hued hurrah before the black and white and silence of winter." (from "Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way" by Shauna Niequist) . . . These winter leaves are from my garden and make me happy on this Friday! . . . #marcialoveswinter #leaves #marciawalksin2017

A post shared by Marcia Francois (@marcia0608) on Jun 29, 2017 at 11:57pm PDT

Kendra just came to ask me when I plan to do supper so that's all from me for now.

What did you enjoy reading in June? What are you looking forward to reading in July?

Which 5 things are always in your fridge or pantry?

There's quite a lot swirling around my brain (a death of someone I used to do ministry with this week; another divorce; too much work) all of which just stops me in my tracks.

Instead, let's chat about a fun topic like we did in this post.

This question is from the Shauna Niequist podcast but I'm going to tell you 5 food in
I'm going to break it down since that's the way my mind works.



Things I always have in my fridge:

1. Granny Smith apples
2. Cheese
3. Eggs
4. Yoghurt
5. Orange juice

That sounds quite boring but it's true - I always have those things. On the rare occasions when I'm sick and I have no appetite, I know I can always eat a yoghurt and apple to be able to take my meds.
 
In fact, Tsh used to ask on her podcast if you had to choose one type of food for the rest of your life, what would you eat? I can't say for sure - some days I think Thai, some days I think Mexican, some days I think Italian.

What about you? What would you eat for the rest of your life?



Things I always have in my pantry:

1. pasta
2. cans of tomato 
3. many, many litres of long-life milk
4. rice
5. a can of baked beans/ sweetcorn/ kidney beans/ tuna, etc.

So I can always whip up some supper!

What's always in your fridge or pantry?

PS Connor's list of his 10 favourite foods:

1. sweet things
2. curry/ biryani
3. eggs
4. pizza
5. jasmine rice
6. pasta
7. juice
8. water
9. cucumber
10. cauliflower

My kids went away this weekend

taken about two months ago

So I've had low-level dread for weeks about my kids going away without us this past long weekend. They went camping in a caravan somewhere in the Pilanesberg.

Three full days and nights is a long, long time for me.

We've been separate from them for this long before but that was when we went to New York. And it's different when you're the ones left in the quiet house and the kids aren't there.

Aside from that time, they've slept out once for 2 nights but we were away too, and everything else (probably 5 - 6 nights in their nearly 8 years) has been a night here and a night there.

Of course D had no such qualms. He always says we all talk too much, and he likes the quiet.

I'm pleased to say I survived, and so did they.

We went out every day, I had friend dates on two nights, read, shopped, etc. and the weekend passed quickly.

I'm still not keen to repeat that a lot but at least I'll know I can do it. 

reunited at last!

Of course yesterday after our reunion, there were lots of tears because they then missed MIL and SIL.

Poor things!

Do you like having your kids go away?
If yes, how long and how often do they go away?

Reading, reading, reading

Before I tell you about my May books, please tell me if you're on Goodreads....

And if you are, do you use the stats feature? 

Click on My Books, and then Read, and then on the right, you'll see Stats.

Click and play around. If you love numbers, you'll love seeing all the lovely stats.

E.g. Most of this year's books have been read on Kindle.

Okay, onto the books in May:

Most unexpectedly delightful book ever - Sophie Kinsella's Finding Audrey (highly recommend!)

Most discussed book - The One-in-a-million Boy - Monica Wood. This was our book club read, and I also highly recommend it, but do set aside good reading time, not just before bed because you need to sink into it.

Most book with aha moments - Let it go, which is for the control freaks and recovering control freaks among us. I learned that , most notably the section on tools, toys or tangents. I should possibly write a blog post just on that section and social media, since I'm into talking about it these days.

Book I learned the most from - Eve Schaub's The year of sugar. Excellent read but it may scare you away if you love food.

Book I want to hear from people about - At home in the world. Everyone on the internet loves it and for me it was "meh". So am I weird? What is the * factor everyone is getting and not me?

Now, over to you.

Which book have you had the most learning moments from recently? Otherwise which book has been simply delightful?

{Friendship Friday} Uninvited and social media

You all know I'm obsessed with audio books, but I have some internal rules/ boundaries for those too.

I almost always prefer to hear a book read by the author unless they have a terrible voice.

I also noticed that I enjoy hearing Christian non-fiction much more if I listen to it (God's word penetrates my heart more by listening) than if I read it.



(I get about 3c - R0.42 - if you buy the book through this link - too sad!)

So when I read last year that Lysa Terkeurst released a new book, Uninvited, I was so excited but she does not narrate the book.

And the chosen narrator doesn't get super excellent reviews.

So I did the next-best thing: I searched for podcasts with her on it, and that's actually how I found God Centered Mom (and have been hooked ever since!).

It was a great podcast (listen to it here on itunes - it's episode 131) and I wanted to share some things that I learned and am trying to do.

The purpose of her social media page is to invite in, not to exclude

This one really spoke to me. All the pics of friends' faces on Instagram can make other friends feel excluded.

I have been guilty of posting pics and have other friends comment and say "I'm jealous". I don't know if it's a cursory statement or if there is real hurt there. So I've been trying to be mindful of that and instead post pics of the food, or something else so that if the friend wants to out themselves, they can, but when I say "had a great lunch today" that is something we can all appreciate (!) without feeling uninvited.

We are addicted to the likes and acceptance, so post and don't look

She said she challenges herself regularly to post and not even look if there are likes for 24 hours.

I took this one up as a challenge and you'll often see me post something in the morning and I don't look again til after work.

You know what happens? You get on with your real life! It's awesome - more books are read, more kids are played with, more kitchens are cleaned, more recipes are tried (I've tried 24 new recipes in the last 5 months!)

(I've disabled all notifications so I'm not at all tempted, even when my phone is out, to see the "engagement" on my feeds)

Sometimes rejection is God's best protection

She tells herself that if she is "rejected" by someone she wanted to be friends with, maybe that is God's best for her life, especially if she knows she didn't do anything "wrong".

Isn't this good? It definitely helped me with my  "unable to let go" personality.



Friendship hurts are real and valid

It's not like a death that does hurt but is at least final, but with a friendship hurt, someone is choosing to walk away.

I can talk forever on this but let's just say, feelings are completely valid.

Don't bash, hash or trash

That's something she lives by - don't bash your friends, don't hash (re-hash/ over analyse things. If you have an issue, deal with it) and don't trash them even in the "sweet" ways women often do, expressed as concern but is actually gossip.


Use your social media for good - to ease the loneliness ache in others.

Do you think about the way in which you post on social media? That it might hurt others' feelings?
Do you keep checking back to see how many likes your post has?
What really stood out to you?

{Friendship Friday} Old friends

Hey, we haven't done one of these for a long time.

I'm in a weird space with friendship. It might be just this time of year but I don't think so.

On the one hand I feel like I'm too busy with friends. That's actually true because I updated my diaries and such two nights ago and with one week left of May, I'd already had NINE socials. And we're not even having book club in May!

Then again, on the other hand, I feel like I'm just not busy at all.

I suspect that this feeling of space in my life is a God-sized hole for ministry! :)

Anyway, as I continue to pray about it, pray with me if you're the praying sort.

Back to the friends.

I've had a couple of old friend encounters lately. Over 9 days, I had 3 "old friend" encounters which was a real blessing.

• One friend and I met up after two years. And I recommend the fish tacos at Doppio Zero if you're not too hungry - delish!
• One friend and I ran into each other at church after probably about 4 years.
• And then while another friend and I were walking to the parking area in a mall after having lunch together, I ran into my old hairdresser after 7 years.

Wow.

It was so nice.

spying on these 3 from the stairs ;)

And the interesting thing for me was that I just held all these encounters loosely. I didn't feel the need to get out the diaries and schedule time together again. I enjoyed the time together and left on a good note. Very unlike me.

We've spoken on this blog before about how, if you see someone in public, some of us will say hello and others just pretend to not see. ;)

For me, I would feel more awkward ignoring (or pretending to ignore) someone than just going to speak to that person.

What about you? Would you go up and talk to the person?
And do you feel the need to invest if you haven't seen a friend for a long time, or do you hold these experiences loosely?

On a lighter note, what do you have planned for the weekend?

PS I have a date with D, and I plan to read and finish our book club book!

Which 3 things are most contributing to your happiness right now?

 

This is the fun thing about podcasts.

There's the topic (which is the thing that's published) but most of the podcasts also have some questions they always ask their guests.

Shauna Niequist (she wrote Bittersweet - still on my Kindle! - Bread and Wine (joint favourite non-fiction of 2014 with the Nesting Place), Savor, Present over Perfect, and my favourite essay about using your stuff) just started a podcast (this Monday was episode 3!) and in addition to the usual stuff, she asks her guests fun things about food, cooking and the question above.

Since I don't have my own podcast, let's just pretend you're all my guests.



The 3 things that most contribute to my happiness right now are:

the gorgeous visuals of autumn (I can't get enough!)
I've been on two dedicated photohunts already and still, I keep driving by trees and thinking, "oh! I really should come back with my big camera to take more pics!"

(Jeanette, if you're still reading, the place where we met for lunch on Rivonia has AMAZING leaves!)

podcasts
I decluttered about 15 in April, and I found a ton more. Maybe I had to let go to find new good ones?

I've discovered a thing - I can actually fast forward when there's too much preamble I'm not interested in. I always knew this could be done but I was too much of a good girl to actually do it.

new jeans
I bought some new jeans at Pick 'n Pay clothing and they are tighter so I don't have to roll the top over. So much happiness!

This is not a "what I wore on Friday" blog so you'll just have to see them in person.

So, tell me.

Which 3 things are most contributing to your happiness right now?

New work rhythms

I've been working from home 1 day a week probably for just over a year now.

This only happens if there is a day with no meetings, so during busy periods there just are meetings every day, which kind-of sucks :)

After one of the holiday weeks, I think it might have been the week after the Easter weekend, we had meetings daily and it about killed me. I was exhausted on the Friday.

It's fascinating to me how quickly I got used to that extra day out of the office. Because whether that day is a Tues, Wed or Thurs, it does mean that I never have to go to the office for more than 3 days in a row.

Before you all think I'm extremely spoiled, let me remind you that a good day in traffic is 45 minutes one way.

Yes, it's long but it's good podcasting or audio book time.



So let's talk about my work rhythms when I'm at home.

1. I take it super slow in the morning. What I should do and only do about 20% of the time is read. Mostly I scroll Instagram.
2. I shower, dress, etc. at my leisure (while listening to a podcast) and eat breakfast while reading.
3. Then I get to work and I make sure I do all my good work until 2.25 til I have to leave to fetch the kids. One of my delights in life is doing the mom thing. 
4. I walk to fetch them and we chat while walking back. It's very sweet to see their little friends and hear them calling to me as C's mom or K's mom.
5. I then quickly make our lunch (my love language is acts of service, so I love doing this kind of thing) , take my food back to the computer and eat while I continue working.
6. I usually end a bit early - around 4. But sometimes it's like a full day and I end at 6ish. I'm task-oriented so I know what I want to get done and I work til it's done.

Today was a work from home day and I went on a quick photo hunt for autumn photos at lunch, and when I finished work, I went to the shops for (more) long-sleeved school shirts. On other days, I might run an errand or two, or meet a friend for lunch or tea. Next week, I need to go get two small things sorted on my car.

It's actually the absolute best of both worlds.

I love being at home because of all the above... and I love being in the office because... people! and stuff going on! and sorting stuff out with internal departments. And if the people there annoy me a bit, I tell myself, only a day or two til I get a break and get to work from home :)

I'm writing this mostly to remind me of how much my current role suits my skill set and my lifestyle, especially as this is the start of Busy Season.

So what do you like about your current job? Does it work with your introvert/ extrovert self?

A complete mixed bag :0

So I'm having a fabulous reading year.

I consciously starting spending fewer hours on social media each day last year, and that habit has thankfully continued so it's translated well to my reading.

And I realised I could actually read much more if I didn't listen to any podcasts or I didn't blog on Organising Queen.

But as it stands, I'm really happy with my reading life at the moment. I'm listening to enough books, and reading a more or less equal number of physical and Kindle/ Overdrive books.

How happy are you with your reading life on a scale of 1 - 10?
 

These were my April books.

I read 12 in total - 1 audible, 7 Kindle and 4 physical books.

Books that received 4 out of 5 * (I have probably given only 2 - 3 5* reviews per 100 books read)

1. Mad about you
2. Two Fridays in April
3. My husband's wife
4. Oxygen (our book club read)
5. Little Beach Street Bakery (Jenny Colgan
6. The Marriage Lie

Most disappointing read
Recipes for love and murder

Books that were really well-written (and that also made me happy - English/ Irish setting?)
Mad about you and Two Fridays in April

There were a couple of books where I'd invested too much time in and would have abandoned if not for that little fact because it's not like you can add up all the half-read books :)

Still, hopefully this month will be a great reading month too.

I already read a fantastic non-fiction which I talked about a little on Instagram if you want to see.

But back to you.

Tell me about your most disappointing read in April, and one that made you super happy.

So hey, it's May!

We've just been away for 5 days and I feel like I want to write before I forget things.

Driving there was easy-peasy. Still took us 5.5 hours because we stopped at the Dinosaur Park on the way. This was part of our bright idea to make the journey part of the holiday.

This is not my usual style - I really like to Get There and I don't like Faffing Around while travelling :)

Yesterday it took us 6.5 hours to get back. Only one stop but LOTS of roadblocks. Remind me to not travel on a public holiday again.

I'll put up a post with pictures when I finished deleting all the duds :)



April was good, wasn't it?

It feels like it was both busy and relaxing, which is super weird. Maybe it feels busy because of all the public holidays because I don't feel like I had many socials. I did get to see two friends I haven't seen the whole year so that was really, really nice.

Book club is going well. So well I'm seriously thinking of starting another book club - this time for children.

Am I mad? 

I've started a Goodreads account for Connor (I still have to do Kendra's one) and they tell me what they like and don't like. Granted, it's like pulling teeth but I want to get them used to enjoying books. I keep telling them it's the best thing in the world to have time to read :)



Other than socials and reading (which I'll of course write more about), I've been thinking a lot about friendship and such. That post is still percolating but I'll write when I'm ready.

Aside from that, I had a Brazilian Hairdo that didn't work. The lady is cross about it (I was very nice but I whatsapped her 2 videos of my non-straight hair...) so now it's awkward to go back. For the love!

So how was your April? Did you go away? How was the trip? And how's your hair looking?

PS this was the first holiday in years (maybe 6 - 7 years) where I didn't take my laptop!

Yay, it's freedom week!

Three things make this freedom week:

1) my one friend has resigned from work and she finishes on Wednesday - so excited for her :)

2) it's Freedom Day on Thursday. For the non-South Africans, here's a write-up from Wikipedia

Freedom Day is a South African public holiday (its national day), celebrated on 27 April. It celebrates freedom and commemorates the first post-apartheid elections held on that day in 1994. The elections were the first non-racial national elections where everyone of voting age of over 18 from any race group, including foreign citizens permanently resident in South Africa,^[1] were allowed to vote. Previously, under the apartheid regime, non-whites had only limited rights to vote.

3) we're going on a little break this week too - woohoo - our first holiday since moving into this house and high time, if you ask me!

Of course, freedom is my number 1 value so I'm very passionate about the concept of freedom. Turns out it's important to God too. This is my favourite scripture about freedom:

2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” NIV

This blog post is short and sweet because it's pay day tomorrow and I need to do my budget recon before all the new money comes in :)

But tell me, what does freedom mean to you? What are you planning for Freedom Week?

Happy Easter!

It's the end of the Easter weekend and it's been a really lovely one.

Relaxing, even!

I had this bright idea to invite D's mom for Good Friday lunch. Well, I said sometime over the weekend, and D said, "let's do it on Good Friday so it's over and done with". He is a keeper and comes up with the best ideas!

So that's what we did and our only people commitments were over and done with.



A few notable moments:

1. church on Good Friday morning
2. family lunch afterwards
3. RAIN!
4. running around the garden with my camera after the rains - this is my best!
5. reading, reading, reading my Jenny Colgan
6. gym as usual on Saturday morning
7. supreme chilling and pottering
8. playing with my website for hours and hours and hours (some of this was pure torture but needs must... and the one thing is still not fixed - my picture was linking to an old domain I've let go and I can't find where to change that in the code)
9. Remembering that Jesus rose from the dead! 
10. An Easter egg hunt - this is Connor's favourite thing of the whole year - he's been talking about it since January.... and they had such fun. We have a much bigger garden so they were occupied forever.
11. more chilling
12. a power outage, short walk and "the best supper ever" (French bread with cheese/ apple slices/ yoghurt and a mini doughnut in case you want to replicate :)) by candlelight
13. the power came on after two hours so I RAN to the kettle to make tea and jumped into bed with my book 

and here we are - Monday.



We're going to see a movie later - Boss Baby. I adore Alec Baldwin, especially his voice, so I can't wait.

But the best news for today is.....tomorrow Alec Baldwin's memoir releases. Of course I pre-ordered so I will get it at midnight!

How was your Easter weekend?

PS My children have just discovered Siri and it's the most fun ever!