Well, after reading all the comments and in particular taking note of those comments that felt like they gelled with me, we've decided.
Ta da da dum....
The babies (!) will only go to pre-school when they're 3.5 (Jan 2013).
Chatting with one of my friends sealed it for me.
She said something like, "they're little for such a short time" and I thought, "exactly! What's the rush? Kids go to school for so long (12 years plus university) that I'd love them to enjoy their lives as long as they can".
Also I feel like I want to let them be as unstructured as they want for as long as possible. Now there's something you never thought you'd hear me say.
But they're little!
this one is getting verrryy naughty. oh right, you guys said I should say, "this one is displaying some verrrryy naughty behaviour" I'll tell you more tomorrow.
Now here's the weird thing - my friend's nanny then fell pregnant (we had a infertility moment talking about it...as it was an "accident") and all her grand plans fell out the window.
See, she was also going to only send hers in Jan 2013 but now that the nanny has to go off on maternity leave in Feb, she is putting them in school next Jan instead.
I've decided that even if we have problems with Nanny V, we will rather get another nanny but I really and truly want to keep them home for another 1.5 years.
Of course I'm now the odd one out amongst all my friends so I feel all crunchy and granola. You see, in South Africa, everyone's kids are in school, usually even before they're 3. Except for the 3 people that homeschool (I'm joking, kind-of, but the % is minute).
Apparently there are one or two people who agree with me that they're still so little :)
Tertia
Sarah
Here's another of Sarah's posts I LOVE on having a conscious pace. I starrred it - it's that good.
Do you read her? For all of you NF's esp, you will love her posts and she won something like the best blog for deliberate mothers. HIgh praise!
So I'd especially love to hear from the mothers outside of South Africa, but everyone please chime in.
What are your views on pre-school? When should they go?
PS Speaking of fish paste the other day, I'm eating a cherry fizz pop at the moment. I think I'm addicted. Do you eat cherry fizz pops? (They're round lollipops with sherbert inside and these are a special edition pack, X% larger than they normally are - I'm lazy to go check, okay?)
I feel the same way! I'm a teacher, so I don't feel bad about them missing the academic part of school since I work with them, and I run a busy mom's group, so they get lots of social interaction. I only get them with me for a few years, and I want to soak up every second! :)
ReplyDeleteMine don't go. I'm a SAHM, why pay for preschool when I can teach them the same stuff at home? And as for the social aspect, it's not like they don't have siblings and tons of neighborhood kids :)
ReplyDeleteMine don't preschool ... at least not away from me. When Joel was little, we had a niece, a nephew, my best friend's son and daughter, and my sister's nephew ... and I preschooled all of them twice a week together.
ReplyDeleteIt was terrific fun.
I have a lot of opinions on the subject.
I just don't understand this thinking that kids can learn to be socially acceptable from other kids. Especially with all the potty humor that is now "socially acceptable" among the young parent crowd that were raised by their peers.
But I have seen a few kids thrive in that environment.
Our girls aren't going to preschool until they are 4.5. Our desicion was mostly financial, seeing as there are 2 of them so it will cost twice as much, but even so I feel like one year is plenty. I'm with you about being in the minortiy, though--all the neighbor kids the same age as the girls started this fall.
ReplyDeleteWith an education background, we tend to take care of the "education" part of preschool at home. I am with you, they are too little. Why subject them to school? Let them learn to explore and question before they work on reciting and memorizing?!
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I do worry about the ladies socialization. They spend their days with their cousin, and there is a neighbor girl, but that's mainly it. They are very shy, even around family sometimes, and I attribute that to a lack of social interaction. They're not totally anti social, they just take a while to warm up. So sending them to school now would be too much of a shock I believe.
I'm not sure I'll do preschool at the moment. I like the idea of socialization but I worry they won't get much out of it and for the cost we could do so many other things! Why spend so much to send them to a classroom when we can explore and create!
I was perfectly content having Cole and Bella home with me and educating them myself until I got pregnant with our 2nd set of twins. Then I needed the help, especially after landing on bedrest at 20 weeks.
ReplyDeleteBut I felt incredibly guilty about it. They only went 2 days a week but after the babies were born, they did go full-time for a few months until I could get a routine down.
I also felt that pre-school was the best thing for kids and it is. They get so much stimulation from the teachers and also other children but ... like you know, me and hubby have decided to get a nanny from Jan 2012. Various reasons come to mind. One being that the nanny is less expensive than the crèche and after care centre combined. Also, that our ADHD child is struggling in the after care centre for many reasons. So taking him out is the better option for us. Also, it will be more convenient for us if the children are at home with a nanny because picking them up from their schools, do take out a huge chuck of time out of you day. So now we only need to commute from work to home.
ReplyDeleteBut the huge reason is our ADHD son. It will be better for him.
I just had to laugh at "I feel all crunchy and granola" ...very funny!
ReplyDeleteYou've got to do what works best for you.
ReplyDeleteAs you know Nicola is in school, and has been for about a year now. I think it depends greatly on how good the school is too. This school is magic, and it would have to be a really big reason for me to disrupt her routine by moving her somewhere else. She's happy there, she has friends, she gets on well with the teachers and helpers and she learns plenty of skills that I wouldn't have the time to teach her myself if she had stayed home.
When she was just born and I had to start thinking of ways to take care of her when I have to go back to work I also thought about getting a nanny. At that stage it would have worked out a lot more expensive for me to go that route and then that poor girl got beat up by the nanny's friend in the news, the one that lost her eye sight...and that was that for me...no nanny.
It's great that you have someone that you can trust with your children. That is really the most important thing, isn't it?
You know we only sent our boys at 3 years and 3 months. It was a good decision. The Princess went at 2 - but there it was for the only reason that I believe one should send them earlier - for socialization. She was lonely - the boys had each other.
ReplyDeleteMine both started at 2 years old and we will keep Jack out until at least then!
ReplyDeleteThere really is no reason to until then.
My kids didn't start preschool until they were four. They were in daycare, so they had plenty of opportunity to socialize and we did all sorts of preschool stuff at home, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI personally think the later, the better but it does depend on your context (in CT it is cheaper to send your child to school than to employ a Nanny) and it depends on who your child is. Some kids really thrive in that environment, others struggle to adjust. Do what you feel is right for your family.
ReplyDeleteWe started the girls in Mother's Day Out earlier than I might have otherwise because, to be honest, my mom needed some sort of a break during the week. The first year went pretty well, but beginning this summer and now, at 2 1/2, they LOVE it. They look forward to 'school' and they talk about their teachers and their friends all the time. I am absolutely positive that they are much more stimulated and challenged than they would be at home with us all day.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I love about our program is that it is through a local church, and it shows in their methods. The teachers are always willing to love on and 'baby' the girls when they need it, and that means a lot to me. Their reaction to school this year confirms that it's the best decision for our family right now.
You just have to do what you feel is best for your family and what your children need...and it's obvious that you've put a lot of thought into doing just that! : )
LOL Deanna, it's also obvious that I have a huge problem in letting go!
ReplyDeleteSome people have emailed instead of commenting and I said to the one, "I can't bear to think of my kids bringing home bad habits and manners from other people" LOL
yes, I have issues!