Saturday, January 14, 2012
Reciprocity
I recently received gifts from two people.
I also gave gifts to them at the same time but mine were much smaller than theirs.
To tell you the truth, it made me feel a little weird.
I know (in my head) that all gifts don't have to be equal in size or monetary value, and we don't even have to give and receive from the same people.
E.g.
I give to many who don't give to me, but then I get a couple of things from other people who I don't give to.
But still it made me feel really weird.
I also realised I may have issues receiving!
What do you think?
Do you feel bad if someone gives you something and you don't have something in return to give them? Or do you just receive it gladly?
Please share with me :)
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Depends. If I know that the person that I'm receiving from has Gifts as a love language then I am more self-conscious of what I give (ito value, presentation etc). Otherwise, I don't have an issue with receiving though I do feel awkward if it is something expensive.
ReplyDeleteI think what we *should* do is receive gladly (love that phrase, by the way). True friends give to you because they want to, not because they expect something in return.
ReplyDeleteEven when you're talking outside the realm of "true friends"...to colleagues / neighbors / acquaintances...I think the motivation *should* be the same.
That said, I know it's hard to *really* feel this way.
As best you can, try to shake the feeling of "weirdness" from your mind, and respond with a heartfelt thank-you for their gesture...one of your beautiful handmade cards, maybe. :)
Over the past couple of years, I've become much less gift-oriented...as in, I buy many fewer material gifts. Part of it is financial since I'm not working, but part of it is my personal feeling that I have too much "stuff"...I'm trying to be selective about what comes in my house, and I imagine at least some others are, too.
Instead, I am making more things...homemade edible goodies...and many of our family and friends received handmade bookmarks from the girls as their gift this year.
That somehow has adjusted my perspective a bit on gifts.
Typically, I received it gladly and try to do something nice in the future...something really thoughtful. It's hard though. I always feel weird too.
ReplyDeletei STILL feel uncomfortable getting gifts. and I'll be 36 next month!! i like giving gifts MUCH better :)
ReplyDeleteI have only learned in the last 2 or so years to receive. It's been harder than I expect.
ReplyDeleteI have to be honest, I also feel a little weird when I receive something and don't have anything in return...
ReplyDeleteBut, I love giving and will give without expecting to receive. So weird!!
I always feel bad when I receive something from someone else and I haven't given something back. I have received wonderful gifts from blogging friends earlier this year, to which I have thank them so much for but also explained to them that I can't give them something now and that I will do so in the future. I did give them the reason why I can't sent them something their way immediately (to which I can't state here). So even if I do receive something from someone else, I will ALWAYS sent them something back, even if it is much later on that year.
ReplyDeleteOh! And even if the gift is much bigger than what I can afford, I don't care because gift sending is not about how big the gift but the reason why you sent it. I sent gifts because I want to and because it comes from the heart.
ReplyDeleteI almost always feel bad; especially at Christmas when I feel like others spend more $ on me than I spend on them.
ReplyDeleteAnd if its a random act of kindness gift; yes!