Well, I don't know why this is but I'm usually the one to initiate friend dates.
Oh my gosh, I wonder if that makes me seem desperate?
But recently not one but TWO friends asked me out.
1. Haven't seen this friend since my kids' party and "properly" since May when her family came over to my house for lunch. She sent me an email and suggested an early supper straight after work.
Sounds PERFECT and I actually need to set it up because I can't wait. Let's face it - socialising with kids running around is not exactly real connection time :)
2. A second, new friend sent me an email a few weeks back inviting the whole family over for a braai (barbeque for the non-South Africans).
I just sensed that this was a step of courage for her so when I replied, I said, "thanks for being so brave" and she loved that I noticed that.
So we'll all be having a lovely lunch next weekend and we can't wait (we are not people who braai so it's such a treat for us, both food and company).
Over to you...
Are you mostly the initiator or the recipient of invites?
When was the last time you acted with courage and asked someone out?
And now, I'm off to finish preparing supper for these friends!
When we were still young and our children small we had lots of socializing. I don't know whether we have become lazy...or whether we are just so in need of time away from people...but these days our socializing is only with our cell group members and with our children.
ReplyDeleteBoth. I'm happy to say that there is a fair balance of me being the initiator and the recipient. And yes, it it lovely to be asked. Must tell you I only planned one friend date this month. I ended up going on THREE!
ReplyDeleteI was courageous today actually. I asked a friend to go run with me in the morning and then go and have a coffee afterwards.
I think you know the answer to both of those questions! LOL
ReplyDeleteHalf and half. I would sometimes initiate but usually don't push so I don't seem desperate ;)
ReplyDeleteThere's a saying in my culture along the lines of you only carry a child that comes to you with open arms (not always true though), but I try to live by that principle when it comes to friend dates.
Talking about, we have to set a date for a photowalk now that the weather is warming up
I'm definitely more the recipient of invites than I am an an initiator, but I LOVE when people pursue a relationship with me. I've realized recently that it's not entirely fair that I don't initiate more often---it feels good to be pursued, I think, so I've tried to be intentional about doing the initiation sometimes. The wonderful thing is that my husband IS an initiator, so often, if it's a couple, and he knows them as well as I do, I let him do the planning and initiating.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny. One of my good friends is the "initiator" and she will actually just contact my husband to plan things, b/c she knows that he's the "initiator" in our relationship, and not me. :)
I'm very rarely the initiater of invites - but I do try and make a plan to accept all that come my way where I can. It's bad bad bad, I know. It's not a new thing for me either.
ReplyDeleteI dont know - I will need to think about it. I am a spur of the moment kinda person and with the kids schedules and D's working hours I often don't get many one-on-one friend dates so they all are with kids and takes some juggling.
ReplyDeleteI think I am pretty 50/50 though!
I'm the initiator of invites. When it comes to new friends, I rarely take the first step as I am nervous and scared that they will not want to get together or decline. I'm not good with "decline" situations. It hurts.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your two friend dates :)
P.S - it does not make you desperate if you are always the initiator. It makes you a good friend who WANT to see your friends.