Being celebrated

The two biggest lessons I learnt from doing Superhero Photo are, in fact, not really photography lessons but life lessons:

1. move your body (!) in other words, be willing to get uncomfortable... for the ultimate good and 
2. look for the light 

I honestly drive around now saying, "MMMMMMM, gorgeous light".

The other day I was driving with Kendra and I said, "dear LORD, that sunset is so beautiful" and she said, "take a photo, Mummy" :) I didn't have the big camera but I did take one with the iphone.

Anyway, the point is I so appreciate some great light so this particular afternoon we were doing who-knows-what at home and I walked into the study.

The light was AMAZING so I grabbed the family for an impromptu photo shoot. So mesmerized was I by the light, I carried on taking (no joke) 80 self-portraits afterwards.

Clearly I have no issues with self-portraits.

These are some of my favourites from that day.

Look closely at the four words on my necklace. MandyE, this is the one I ordered from Dayspring.

that last word is chosen

Those 4 words are what we are to God - celebrated, created, cherished and chosen.

I want to talk a little about the word celebrated though.

I've always thought that's it's important for each of us to be celebrated for exactly who we are. For every little weirdness.

After all, it's in the quirkiness that connection happens.

I've always had that at this company before. You see, I'm not your average employee. I say things others won't, engage with people in a (hopefully) meaningful way, not only superficially and I have lots of quirks, least of which is a very fully stocked kitchen at work.

Basically, my weird was always celebrated.

And I think that's the hardest part of this new job for me. I feel like I'm being simply tolerated which is even more awful than when you just read that.

So I've become quieter and more guarded. I find I'm not sharing (valuable) insider info either which is part of what I thought I bring to this particular party. Because why bother when it's tossed aside?

It's more than just adjusting. Because when you know you belong, you realise there are things you don't know but you fit anyway so the adjusting is just figuring out the ropes. That's not what's happening here. I feel different - I can't believe I have to talk myself into getting out of bed in the morning. (granted - that could also be winter)

At the moment I have to give myself a pep talk every morning on the way to work and then pray for a good day. Sometimes the good day is in the form of good work and other times it's one good meeting or simply all the IT systems working or a taxi driver blocking other cars so I can actually exit the parking garage and get into the stream of traffic. I LOVED him for doing that the other day. Restores my faith in humanity.

But deep down or not so deep down, I'm just not happy.

Those of you who have access to the private blog can read more details here.

And now, let's distract ourselves with some lovely photos of me and the kids :)

she'd just woken from a nap - love this pic

Are you celebrated at work and home?