{SP4} Self-portraits and perfectionism

Sony Cybershot right after my Zumba class

and this is my top half - I also put a "warmify" filter on it (Picasa) - I like this pic because this is exactly how I was feeling about this exercise at this point :)

If you don't already have a nice cup of tea, you may want to get one.

I want to write about this self-portrait thing as I've experienced it over the last couple of weeks.

my mirror pics are terrible but I discovered if I crop in a "weird" way, I quite like them

that glass ring on my right hand is from Thailand - recently discovered and I'm loving it

I've always loved self-portraits that tell a story, not just a typical pic. And I've also always loved the self-portraits Andrea's put on her blog for years and years.

I had limited experience with taking these except for when I've been alone somewhere and wanted a quick pic.

This series of self-portraits was taken before we got to the self-portrait lessons and bonus! I actually liked them.

So I thought when I had to do the homework that it wouldn't be too big a deal.

this is me in my comfort zone :)

this is the one from a few weeks back where I was laying on the grass outside!

Well.

I can honestly say it has been a Big Deal.

I'm sure I've taken 100s of pics only to have about 5 I really like. Which is not fun!

One lady on the course said something like when she sees all her flaws, she just wants to hide and I commented and said I get it because I feel the same. I've never been shy in front of the camera (provided I have my lipstick on!) but I also like people to have an "eye" and most people, let's face it, don't care about getting a good pic of you so they take 1 horrible shot and that's that.

I did this treasure hunt like I did all the others, a little bit here and a little bit there, as opportunities presented themselves but then one night I got so darn annoyed with I wasn't getting the same good results as I had been on the course up to then and so I decided to be silly.

Me - silly!

I like laughing but I'm not someone you'd naturally call silly.

But... I'd also seen a series of pics from another lady on the course where she totally embraced silliness and her pics were gorgeous!

And so surprisingly (or not), I actually liked most of the set. There may be something to being a bit silly :)

Anyway, here they are - for your viewing pleasure.

So I think something clicked in me (just a little bit - I'm still going to take 20 to get 1 or 2 I like, although I know the angle for the silly pics quite well :)) because look at me here.

If this is not imperfection at its finest, I don't know what is.

me, without my lipstick, yesterday afternoon

so much so, I even tried to jump with the self-timer but my reflexes are still shocking

taking pics of body parts is so much more comfortable...

This weekend I had to take a pic of me and my book (for the other blog next week) and I started in my usual serious style, hated them all, and then I tried to be "lighter" and voila, these are the ones I'm going to use :)

yes, that's my book. It's only the proof for now but tomorrow I will complete the process to make it available to the PUBLIC! And this is how I felt when I saw it on my Kindle.

I dare you to put a silly pic on your blog! Or any pic of you :)

This week since it's timely, I'm linking to the lovely Kristin Duke (who shares a birthday with my twins :))'s Capturing the Joy linky party.

So, do any of you have issues taking a proper self-portrait? What do you think of  my "journey"?
 
PS I'm still going to keep trying to take a jumping self-timer pic

{SP1} Curiosity and movement

heart-shaped apple

 So, week 1 of Superhero Photo is done and I'm loving it.

I never fully participate in these things because

1) if I get involved in discussion groups and such, I stop doing focussed work at work ...and that's a disaster
2) I have to first focus on the stuff I have to do (kids, husband, house, business) and then when I get a gap, I can do the extra.

Well, I do believe this woman was in my head (and many of yours, honestly) because lesson 1 said to let go of perfectionism.

In our quest to get it right, we often miss the good stuff - Andrea Scher

WOOHOO.

I'm a recovering perfectionist myself and I'm now on a mission to help others get there too. BUT it's hard.

morning cup of coffee

my desk with my Artsyville print

mirror was filthy so cleaned it and trying something I don't normally do

taken from on my desk :)

I love beautiful pics as much as the next girl (maybe more) and I read these blogs and I know you're supposed to mess around with settings (which I don't do , by the way) to get technically good shots.

I'm very happy with my settings - I know to mainly use sport for my busy kids and no flash when the flash wants to pop up (because I've tried the ISO and I'm afraid my pics look worse like that than on auto). I use macro for my close ups and sometimes if I'm feeling playful, I'll even step out of the box and use creative auto. Ha ha.

So when this lady says set your camera on auto and just have fun, that's a huge shocker.

But strangely freeing.

Like when I came back from maternity leave to find 5 months of emails gone. I had about a minute of shock and then... blessed relief :)

I do enjoy having fun but I need to be encouraged to do so before I go there. Does that make sense? If you set me a goal of having fun, ooh, then I'm in my element. :)

I didn't only use auto because when my pics didn't look talk to me, I switched to the settings I'm comfortable with.

From week 1, we had to try to move more/ differently and with the movement see what happens. 

on the way back from Bambanani - I made D stop the car and reverse (with screaming kid) to get a pic of this lovely blue gate

Sony Cybershot P&S

Mess

a riot of colour/ mess :)

this is my favourite riot of colour shot

bakers twine

riot of colour - my time management/ organising section on my bookshelf

popsicle - prop from a photoshoot that I never used

someone I love

trying out my self-timer

Kendra crying and that's my lovely green dresser that I love!

different angle

laughter

So tell me, are you a perfectionist with your photos, or in life? 

How curious are you? 

What do you think of my week 1 pics?

(I am very curious. I think it makes me a good coach but can also be annoying sometimes with all my questions :)0

My fake family

So I was feeling fine about Kendra being in the hospital until I got there this afternoon and ... D and his mom are gabbing away. I took one look at Kendra and told the nurse to take her temp. Yes, 39.2. Way too high because she is in HOSPITAL. Then they moved it and put something new in her drip and 40 minutes later, she was looking better. I didn't even feel like I could fight properly with the nurses because D was supposed to be looking after her.

Of course, things went downhill from there. Tense me spoiled the mood. MIL left and Connor was crazy.

Connor had been BEGGING to go to the hospital the whole day (poor thing!) and was SO excited to see Kendra so I brought supper with us so we could all eat together.

Disaster.

Connor was too excited to see Kendra and understandably, wanted to see and touch her and the machines (with one finger!) and we kept having to say, "Connor, be gentle" and Kendra was doing the whining thing, "noooo, Connor, nooo. Only want Daddy" and so on.

And so my nice supper went to pot.


Here's where I need to stop and tell you about my fake family.

You all know my one friend calls me a Pollyanna which I am totally cool about. I do try to always look on the bright side.

Even with this hospital thing, K and I had a lovely day yesterday (as lovely as you can have in a hospital), talking, reading, looking at photos, eating, etc. and then when I got home, Connor said, "Connor MISSED Mummy!" with such passion my heart nearly burst from pure happiness.

So I've been thinking at least the 1:1 time is good.

And tonight I had visions of the four of us at least having a nice supper together, sitting on two beds, talking nicely, laughing together, not messing, saying goodnight and then switching roles - D going home with C and me overnighting with K.

You know, my fake family.

What actually happened was craziness, whining, screaming, 1, 2, 3-ing and not enjoying a single minute of it after the first, "HELLO CONNOR!" from Kendra.

That photo shoot last month was another example of me wanting my fake family to behave beautifully when of course, they've not at their best when it's that close to supper, baths and bedtime.

I saw this term "fake family" on a blog somewhere about 6 weeks ago and filed it away in the depths of my mental drafts folder.

It just describes perfectly the mismatch of my expectations vs reality.

I'm also posting this as a reminder to myself that I don't have a fake family and to have no or low expectations this Christmas weekend.

Really, if I emerge in one piece after all the to-ing and fro-ing which is a logistical nightmare when it's just the two of you plus a sick baby, I'll consider it success :)

I love Connor's funny face

I know this is a bad pic but I love it anyway

don't ask - these hands are a new thing

giving Friday a nice, big hug

Do you also have a fake family?

Perfection is overrated

So do you remember this photo shoot?

Well, I got the disc today and I have mixed feelings:

• on the one hand, I'm thrilled that there are a few good ones in there
• on the other hand, I have some snippets recorded for posterity of just how bad that day was and it brought ALL those emotions back
• I really should get my hair coloured before any shoot!

this is a really nice one

this is at the end of the shoot when the kids wanted NOTHING to do with me. Poor Bronwyn tried to rescue the shoot by having me cling to D but I know what was going on so this pic makes me sad...

look at this - Kendra only wants Daddy, I'm distraught, D's being the solid rock and Connor's disengaged

as you can see, Connor is also done! Look at my face - tells the whole story!

I know there are bigger things in life to worry about but I just wanted to write a post because I'm not always happy about how things turn out and I do like a balanced view, not just the "perfect" pictures.

Perfection is overrated, right?

Do you prefer to show a view of only the good to the world, or a more balanced but honest view?

By the way, I just remembered something I read, again on Simple Mom.

She said that with the advent of the internet and blogs, it's become easier to portray the not-so-nice stuff.

I didn't read all the comments but somewhere along the top, someone said what I think - on the contrary, it's become harder to portray the imperfection.

Personally, I think just looking and reading all the blogs (and especially Facebook, but that's another post for another day) makes it seem like other people's lives are perfect.


In our minds we can logically think that cannot be so... but when people share only the wonderful things, it's hard not to compare your lot in life with theirs and think you're lacking.


Agree? Disagree?