So I'm still in love with
123 magic but really, I have some stubborn kids and sometimes they just push me right to the edge.
When I saw these cute
star charts on Erin's blog, I had to try them.
(
BTW, she had me at laminator)
It seemed like a good idea to change tactics from the stick to the carrot, but also still doing 123 magic. Adding something extra to the parenting arsenal :)
I promised the kids we'd make them star charts one weekend and so we did.They were very excited even though they didn't have a clue what I was on about.
They are only 3 (well, what's two days?) so I thought 4 items to focus on for a week at a time was plenty.
They helped me decide which stickers to use and which colour flowers, etc. so it was a group effort.
And of course Connor's favourite thing in the world is the laminator. He wants to laminate everything under the sun. I do store up all my laminating and then I ask him if he wants to help me laminate. Well, his smile is so big you'd swear he was let loose in a toy shop.
He proudly switches on the laminator and tells me when it goes green. And then he holds the cord back so the page slides through easily and we're done.
D and I decided what each child's chart should say based on the behaviours we don't find desirable :)
Louisa connected a dot or two for me once when we chatted and I said Connor is the only one who throws tantrums. She said, "does Kendra sulk? It seems like the quieter ones sulk" and YES, it's true. Kendra sulks which is just as annoying.
 |
| This is Kendra sulking. I said, "Kendra, are you sulking?" She said, "no, I just don't feel like talking". D and I packed out laughing! "Baby, that's what sulking is!" |
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| here's where she's really trying to stop sulking! |
So they both have two the same and two different.
"
Going to sleep nicely" which means no jumping around the room, scratching in the tidy cupboards or drawers (this sends me RIGHT over the edge!) or jumping in each other's bed. And certainly no coming out to us! This is for naps and for real sleep at night.
"
Listening to Mummy/ Daddy" is another catch-all. I told Julia the other day I'm VERY fussy about kids listening and obeying. Yes, I may seem like a commandant but I believe that it's good spiritually too. When God speaks to them, they also need to listen and obey immediately. Moving on. So we like them to listen quickly because I really don't like to hear myself say the same thing 3 times.
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| our worse day was Thursday |
Connor then has "
no tantrums or fighting" because he has a temper and will sometimes lash out in frustration and of course the lovely tantrums.
He also has "
nappies and dressing nicely" because he fights us when he has to get a nappy on at sleep time or get dressed. And you all know I'm not my best in the mornings anyway and the last thing I want is to start off my day in a worse state.
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| Thursday was even worse for Kendra |
As I said above, Kendra sulks and she has another charming little habit, whining. Do you know how the whining gets to me?! Tonight I said, "Kendra, do you know my ears can't hear whining?" :)
And she tends to get distracted with other bright, shiny objects on her way to do what I told her, but mainly she purposefully ignores us, so that's why "obeying immediately" is on her list.
So we've been doing these for 1 week 5 days and already I've seen a huge improvement.
Connor
The pics are from week 1. You can see they both got 18 feet (I don't have stars) for the week. This week we've only done 5 days and they're already on 18 (one child) and 16 (the other child).
I do have to say things a few times still but I just say, "are you LISTENING? Do you want to get your star tonight?" and it mostly works.
I LOVE how Erin explained in her post that she allows some leeway because there is no such thing as perfection. Love it!
So I'll also allow one in each category to go unnoticed.
At night before we do reading and prayers, we do star charts. Yes, we still call them star charts~!
And if they get 3 or 4, we all clap and go "yayyy, Connor/ Kendra" to make a big deal.
Rewards?
Well, my rule is 20. They must get 20 out of 28 every week and then they can decide what they want. It's always going to a restaurant with these two (their father's children!).
And good thing they've pulled up their socks this week because I've been telling them the whole week if they're good they can go to a restaurant with us on Saturday.
So that's our star charts.
(BTW, I laminated the chart itself and then I laminated a million little feet, cut them into rectangles and I stick them on with some Prestik)
What do you think?
Have you tried star charts to reinforce positive behaviour?
PS I think I'm going to add "no rudeness" from next week because I've heard some screaming at one another :)
