I'm very good at denial

I read a post in my Google Reader on the weekend that reminded me of something I forgot to tell you.

Because I'd blocked it out, you see.

When Nanny V leaves for the day, Kendra does this whole song and dance about kissing and hugging her.

Kendra also waits til the last possible minute so basically the person is out the door before she twigs that they're actually leaving NOW.

I don't indulge in this wishy-washy behaviour in the mornings.

I tell them I'm going to work and do they want a kiss and hug.

If they ignore me (tell me my kids are not the only ones who flat-out ignore me) and carry on playing, I say (brightly), "bye! I'm off to work. Have a nice day" and I go.

Of course the next couple of days they don't faff around :)

Anyway, so this particular day, about two weeks ago, V was saying her good-byes.

Connor and I said "bye" and I clicked the remote to open the gate.

Kendra then SHRIEKED at the top of her voice, "V! V! hug! kiss!" and I was momentarily distracted by this drama.

In a flash, Connor was out the door and running down the driveway towards the gate which was WIDE open.

I took off after him shouting, "Connor!" and he thought it was a game/ saw his chance for freedom and kept running down the street.

In a vest and leggings, by the way.

I caught up with him about two houses down the street so those little legs are fast.

I scooped him up, my heart beating so fast from the adrenaline and the thoughts of what could have been whizzing through my head.

Of course I gave him a talking to - that he is not allowed outside without me, D or V because there are cars that can hurt him, etc.

I also told V that that was IT! No more pandering to K's nonsense - if V's out the door, that's it. K will have to cry for her hug and kiss but I'm not having a dead baby.

So that's what we now do and K seems to understand.

But that day, once we were all safe inside, I lay on the couch thinking and thinking some more. And then I started crying. Sobbing really, from relief.

I can't explain the terror I felt at how things could have turned out so badly.

Fortunately D arrived soon after, took one look at me and said, "what's going on?"

Connor said, "Mummy's crying...Mummy's sad".

D and I hugged, prayed and that was that. I totally forgot about it (or more likely, blocked it out) until I read this post from Reanbean.

I so relate to that terror she felt.

Oy!

Have you had any such incidents?

PS today is the triplets' birthday. I can't believe it's been one whole year and I was right last year - they are GORGEOUS!
PPS today is also the 3-year anniversary of the Rod Stewart concert where I triggered :) Incidentally, I cut up the t-shirt I was wearing that night to make a necklace. Pictures to come!

I still can't believe

we did my trigger shot at a Rod Stewart concert :)

My adventures in triggering

Went for my scan and yet another blood test (estrogen 4700).

Today the follicles were at 22mm and at 21mm. Endometrium was 12mm.

Only problem with triggering was my long-awaited-for Rod Stewart concert.

They told me to do my injection at 9.30pm, 15 minutes on either side of 9.30 was okay but nothing more.

Well, Rod Stewart's show started at 8pm and he was scheduled to perform for 90 minutes.

I started getting anxious because they won't allow men to come into the female loos and of course, vice versa, not that I'd want to go in the male loos, because men are dirty!

And they usually don't allow pass-outs so no quick dash to the car and dash back.

Then my husband had a brilliant idea - we should go to the First Aid room and do it there.

The clinic gave me a letter and put all of the needles and amps in an envelope which was sealed. So no-one noticed anything when my bag was searched BUT we were early so we asked where the first aid room was and...it was ALL THE WAY on the other side of the venue.

They don’t let you walk around in sections you don’t belong in so you have to radio the medics to come collect you and since I didn’t look like I was dying...huge schlep, lots of explaining to do!

Amazingly, God was shining His favour on us because at 9:10 there was a short 10-minute break.

Of course, everybody dashes out of their seats so it's definitely going to be impossible to get all the way to where we have to be.

So I decided to shoot up right there in my seat!

I turned to the couple behind us and said, "listen, I’m not a druggie, I just need to have an injection RIGHT NOW and it's going to take me too long to get to the first aid section" He said, “go right ahead” and we did. I mixed the two vials, handed the needle to DH and he jabbed me. I think I was so geared up for the injection that it wasn’t even sore.

The concert was brilliant but more importantly, my eggs were safely triggered!

Drama drama drama

Yesterday while at the clinic the nurse asked if I'd be getting my medication from them or from my pharmacy.

She said phone them and check if they have it first because you've got to have it tonight so nothing can go wrong. Fair enough.

So I phoned and read each of the medications out, dosage and number of boxes, and yes, they had everything.

Later when I got back to work, I faxed the prescription and then phoned and they said they had everything and it was all in order.

I got there at about 5.20 pm and they brought my medicines. Well, while she was tapping away on her computer, I checked everything and they only had ONE of the TWO boxes I needed for the trigger shot.

I pointed this out so she went to look and they had no other boxes. I started freaking out like this - "but this is PRECISELY why I phoned first before I even left the clinic". And "I need that stuff tonight" - I've spent thousands on this thing and it can't go wrong now.

Remember all the normal pharmacies are closed (this one is HUGE) and so is my clinic. So the girl starts phoning every. single. pharmacy within a 30km radius and not one has a box of this stuff (Ovidrel).

So at about 5.45 I phoned the clinic's emergency line and left a message so they could page whoever was on duty. Usually they phone back within minutes but of course, not this time.

I'd vaguely remembered the nurse saying something about Pregnyl so I asked them if they had that. They did!

After 5 minutes, I phoned Dr G himself (even though it was Jewish holidays) and he said I could have 10 000 units of Pregnyl instead. Apparently Pregnyl is better than the other one but is now discontinued so you actually can't get it anywhere.

So that's what I got.

The minute I left the pharmacy I burst into tears - I couldn't believe that it could all come down to this - lack of attention to detail from the pharmacy.

The Ovidrel was going to be mixed and administered subcutaneously but Dr G said this stuff has to be done intra muscularly (in the bum) so he suggested I go to the clinic where I had my laparotomy.

That part all went fine - the nurse jabbed me quickly and relatively painlessly. And on time (7.25) - she said we could be 15 mins early or late but absolutely no later!

It's hotting up!

Today my follicles were 19mm and 18mm so they are gorgeous and ready!

Tonight we have to do the trigger shot which means I have to go to the pharmacy for some MORE medication.

I'd heard things on the internet (again, bad internet!) that it is a HUGE shot in the bum so was relieved to find that this is the small needle, again in the tummy, or as they say, "administered subcutaneously" LOL

I am feeling heavy down there but then I thought about it and I'm not surprised because remember there are 10 follicles of nearly 2cm each! I'm probably a kilo heavier which is why I have not weighed myself for days (why subject myself to torture?).

So the retrieval happens on Thursday morning. We have to be there bright and early at 7am (dear Lord, how on EARTH am I going to do it?) because they have to take them at 7.30 (it is timed with military precision, apparently). No food or liquids from midnight. I'll be done and awake by 9am.

Then they'll mix it all up, do the ICSI with some and we WILL have beautiful eggs to put back on Sunday. Things are moving so fast now (as my one friend says, "you'll be puking by Halloween")

The nurse today was ABSOLUTELY wonderful. She is the first one that has been so positive..."you're doing so well and blah blah blah on 20 October we're going to do the test and it's going to be positive"

Yesssss! I like that :)

In other news, I ran into a girl from the infertility support group at the clinic which was LOVELY - we caught up before they summoned her - and I "recruited" another one, who is also on her first IVF.

Today's action plan - collect medication, have sex (they told us to do it tonight and then nothing until his "sample" on Thursday because they want fresh, healthy sperm), do the trigger shot and relax.

How are you all doing?