I'm very good at denial

I read a post in my Google Reader on the weekend that reminded me of something I forgot to tell you.

Because I'd blocked it out, you see.

When Nanny V leaves for the day, Kendra does this whole song and dance about kissing and hugging her.

Kendra also waits til the last possible minute so basically the person is out the door before she twigs that they're actually leaving NOW.

I don't indulge in this wishy-washy behaviour in the mornings.

I tell them I'm going to work and do they want a kiss and hug.

If they ignore me (tell me my kids are not the only ones who flat-out ignore me) and carry on playing, I say (brightly), "bye! I'm off to work. Have a nice day" and I go.

Of course the next couple of days they don't faff around :)

Anyway, so this particular day, about two weeks ago, V was saying her good-byes.

Connor and I said "bye" and I clicked the remote to open the gate.

Kendra then SHRIEKED at the top of her voice, "V! V! hug! kiss!" and I was momentarily distracted by this drama.

In a flash, Connor was out the door and running down the driveway towards the gate which was WIDE open.

I took off after him shouting, "Connor!" and he thought it was a game/ saw his chance for freedom and kept running down the street.

In a vest and leggings, by the way.

I caught up with him about two houses down the street so those little legs are fast.

I scooped him up, my heart beating so fast from the adrenaline and the thoughts of what could have been whizzing through my head.

Of course I gave him a talking to - that he is not allowed outside without me, D or V because there are cars that can hurt him, etc.

I also told V that that was IT! No more pandering to K's nonsense - if V's out the door, that's it. K will have to cry for her hug and kiss but I'm not having a dead baby.

So that's what we now do and K seems to understand.

But that day, once we were all safe inside, I lay on the couch thinking and thinking some more. And then I started crying. Sobbing really, from relief.

I can't explain the terror I felt at how things could have turned out so badly.

Fortunately D arrived soon after, took one look at me and said, "what's going on?"

Connor said, "Mummy's crying...Mummy's sad".

D and I hugged, prayed and that was that. I totally forgot about it (or more likely, blocked it out) until I read this post from Reanbean.

I so relate to that terror she felt.

Oy!

Have you had any such incidents?

PS today is the triplets' birthday. I can't believe it's been one whole year and I was right last year - they are GORGEOUS!
PPS today is also the 3-year anniversary of the Rod Stewart concert where I triggered :) Incidentally, I cut up the t-shirt I was wearing that night to make a necklace. Pictures to come!