{Friendship Friday} Caren's birthday lunch

First off, thank you so much for your lovely comments on this post. I definitely don't want to leave the school but things will have to change. Will keep you posted...

My friend, Caren, celebrated her birthday last Saturday (yesss, I am doing well with staying current, photo-wise).

She invited all her friends to have lunch and had a very good idea - everyone pays for themselves and doesn't bring presents.

Some of us didn't listen though :)

straight above my head..

Caren seated us all and at the start explained how she knew each one and a little bit about that person. Very nice idea but these "little spotlights" always make me feel uncomfortable (not that anything bad was said, I just always feel a bit weird).

Am I the only one?

Caren and her best friend have been friends for... wait for this... 34 years! Amazing.

I had a few nice chats while I was there, ate a delicious pasta (although I must tell you the best pasta I've had recently has been at a restaurant in the Bedford Centre - fettucine a la meatballs - tomato and mushroom sauce - YUMMY!) and took a few nice photos even though it was inside.

Here are some of my favourite pics - I've tried to upload them 3 times now and when I make them x-large as I normally do, they go all pixelly. So you're getting large ones tonight because I'm (literally) freezing my butt off standing in this cold kitchen.

I love this look of concentration

this is my favourite pic of the day! I love it so much I want to put it on a wall :)

my food

Caren's food but she sent back the avo mash

Roz's food

gorgeous rose

the walls

the two of us

Just realised that I'm learning to take better photos inside.... which is on my 2013 goals list. Woohoo.

If you haven't had a birthday yet, how are you planning to celebrate? I really want to have a tea party but I don't want the schlep of cleaning up before and after. Any ideas for places where I can invite friends to have tea and cake with me?

When your child is that child/ independence in twins

We received reports from the kids' school on Tuesday - their first.

It was extremely comprehensive - I just counted and there are  64 different things that were scored in 10 categories.

You may remember that K and C are in different classes.

I read K's first and it was about as we expected, except she seems to listen much better at school than she does here!

Nothing surprised us very much because it is her personality to a T.



Then I read C's one.

And I couldn't reconcile the person in the report with the C we know.

Things about a lack of confidence, being a follower, being insecure, how he's not independent enough, not interested in puzzles, cutting and such. (I think I told you guys before or maybe in a comment on someone's blog how we use cutting to bribe them, they love it so much).

Those of you who have seen Connor even once will know that is not him AT all. Actually, please tell me if you've seen any of that (not the skills, the personality traits) in him.

I realise that children don't present themselves the same everywhere but for someone who really doesn't care what people think (Connor), this immediately feels "off" to me.

I mentioned this to D and he thought I'm overreacting but then we had the meeting with the teacher.

I don't think I'm being that mother because I recognised lots of things that he couldn't do and am non-defensive (e.g jumping from chairs, etc - they both can't, probably because I don't allow it!!! :) about them)



Back to the meetings:

We met with K's teacher first - no problems and nothing new. She showed us how they do assessments and it was all very interesting.

Then C's teacher.

Since this is her first cycle of assessments, another teacher (one of the owners) sat in.

They asked what we thought of the report and I started responding and then it started.

I haven't been that taken aback for awhile.

We shouldn't have gone. Because the report was the good version.

They went on and on and on about Connor. After a while of trying to figure things out by explaining one or two things (like the jumping), I just shut down (D said he saw it in me) and wanted to get out of there.

If I hadn't had the report, I wouldn't know that there is anything good about Connor from their point of view.

Of course we think he is PERFECT :) With a good side of sass and stubbornness.



But seriously, they talked a lot about how he can't do anything right, how she has to adjust her teaching for him (place them in groups of 4 instead of the 6 she prefers because he gets distracted), how he lacks confidence, has no independence, daydreams and is LAZY.

That was when I stopped listening. Because I don't think she likes him at all. She implied that he is a nuisance in class.

And what she said was much worse than the actual assessments reflect which is another reason I think she doesn't like him because there was more emotion in the chat with us.

K is my daydreamer; I don't see this in C at all. C does get focussed and ignores you if he's doing things like a puzzle or blocks, but when I say "Connor, I'm talking to you" he listens immediately.

Friends, I am very worried.

We honestly don't see this at all.

I know they're concerned about both kids playing together too much. K's teacher told me that at playtime they run towards each other and play together all the time, not with other kids. K is a nurturer and will help Connor take off shoes, etc. K plays by herself or with Connor. K told me this a few weeks ago so I had a chat with them that they could still play together but should ask other kids to join them. K then told me she told Teacher C that "my mummy has a good idea about playtime" :)

My worry is that he feels like she doesn't like him and has "given up" on trying in class. And then no wonder he runs toward his safe place (Kendra) at play time because she loves him unconditionally.

They've been VERRRRRY attached the last couple of months and I've just thought, "oh sweet" but I wonder now if this school thing is part of it.

Do your twins play with each other at school/ playdates or do they play with other kids?

Connor won't talk unless he is ready but in our alone time with each kid this evening, I tried...

Me Connor, are you happy at school?

C No, Mummy

Me Why, Baby? (trying not to freak)

C Because I don't have any friends except Kendra. And Keira (BTW D wanted to call K Kyra)


I am very cross because in March I asked them how we'll know how the kids are doing and they told me to wait til now. But if there was anything to be concerned about, they would let us know immediately.

The teacher's behaviour seems to suggest that his behaviour is serious (even though the assessments don't (he only needs "practice" with 14 of the 64 things) and if that is the case, why weren't we informed earlier?

So back to the meeting.

Basically we hoofed it out of there, Nanny S being a really good excuse :) My body language and tone clearly indicated my unhappiness

D and I discussed this a lot last night, but now that I've written this post, I'm a lot clearer in my thinking.

We're going to request a meeting next week to discuss our concerns.

What do you think, though?
What's your gut telling you?

another pic of that tree - I drove past with Connor, rolled down the window and leaned out to take a pic :)

PS Performance appraisal 2 tomorrow - PRAY!

The quest for leaf photos

So you all know I get a little bit...obsessed sometimes.

Well now, this photography thing just lends itself to obsessions, right?

One of the lessons in Elevate the Ordinary was on embracing your obsessions (she may have used other verbiage) which is all the excuse I need.

I am MAD about leaves. Absolutely crazy about them. Don't even get me started on wet leaves (I literally stop the car and take pics... if safe).

So it seemed the leaves were all kinds of beautiful this autumn. What a God we serve!

There's a particular tree I travel past each and every day on a very busy road. Last year I fully intended to drag D with me so I could take pics but I missed out. One weekend the tree still had leaves, there was some mighty wind and the next weekend that tree was bare. I hate that.

So this year I've been nagging and when D said, "what do you want to do for our date on Saturday?", I said, "well first I want to go past that tree and take pics, and then you can take over the rest of the date".

WIN-WIN!

Tell me it wasn't worth a special trip! When we got there, we realised there were TWO fabulous trees next to each other. Oh how I love it!!!!

one set of leaves

second set of leaves

trying different positions for my feet in the leaves

my favourite!

 

It was WELL worth the drive and looking "foolish" to get my lovely leaf pics. The only thing that would have been better was if the leaves were wet :)

I have really done an awesome job of making time for photos and photowalks this year.

Next thing on my photo list - take lots of winter pics - moody, dramatic pics that I can make into black and white pics. MMMMMM.

Which is your favourite pic?

I'd love to see all your autumn pics if you feel like taking me up on the challenge.

This and that

 

I haven't applied for that job yet because I have someone breathing down my back the entire day.

Have you done this yet?

How far are you with that?

Are those workshops booked yet?

I'm going stark raving mad. Remember my top value is FREEDOM!!!!

On the bright side, it's taking every living breathing cell in me to exercise patience and emotional intelligence.... I don't know how much longer I can hold out though... but it's got to be good for my spiritual well-being!

I will apply tomorrow though - thank goodness my CV's always ready.



I mentioned today that I wished I could leave my laptop at the client's office like I can leave it at ours and he asked me if I don't work at night.

Definitely not, said I, only in the first 6 weeks when I was freaking out.

Upon further questions I said that no, I decided I'm done blaming myself for not getting things faster because I've never lied about my skill levels, etc. and I actually am a fast learner so tough if that's not good enough. All said nicely but said nonetheless.

!




In other news, my kids got their first reports today and I'm kind of freaked out. The school is seeing very different Connor behaviour to what we see here... but I'll wait til the meetings tomorrow to properly freak out. Kendra's is consistent here and at school so I'm not bothered by any of that.

Do you see the same picture of your kids that the school sees?

 

These pics are from MIL's birthday last weekend. I got some nice people pics (nice face ones of MIL) but I can't post all of those here, only these random ones.

A good weekend... getting back to basics

I had a good weekend for me - lots of relaxing (I finished my Jeffrey Deaver), lots of out stuff (lunch out on Sat, breakfast out on Sun and lunch out again today) and lots of organising at home.

Plus I got a gazillion gorgeous pics - some of which some of you have seen on Facebook and Instagram.

Back to basics...

I love these things. They're actually headbands, not snoods (read my Woolies cash receipt properly yesterday), but fit perfectly and is just the right pop of colour. Have I mentioned I have 4?!

1. I decided tonight that I need to do the same for me as I do for the kids - choose all my clothes for the whole week and set them out in the front of my wardrobe.

Too much?

I wrote about this on the organising blog either last year or the year before that because I did a little survey in the office and we varied from someone who chooses all 5 her outfits WITH bag and accessories on a Sunday night (not me) to someone who jumps out the shower and then looks for something to wear.

I mostly choose my clothes the night before but the last nearly 3 months I haven't done so except on intense meeting days because then I do like to look the part.

And of course the mornings are slightly more chaotic as a result.

So when I'm done here I want to try for this week and see what happens, it being a 3-day clothes week. Fridays are casual.


2. The other thing is I put on weight this week and I canNOT allow that to continue so I'm going to only allow myself to eat a little treat (which I have every single day) AFTER I've had all my water, yoghurt and fruits.

I cooked 6 meals last night so am sorted for this week.



3. I don't think I told you this "funny" story which is not so funny actually.

When I got this job, I told D I think I should change my word for the year because I've got what I wanted. He told me I'm terrible and no, that's a terrible idea :) And look - apparently there was a reason that word is my word for the year, right? :)

Also, you know how once you've decided something you actually can't wait to get on with it? That's me with the job at this point. Pray with me HARD that they see I'm PERFECT for this other thing (I realise I sound very flakey because I probably said the same thing about this job) but this new one is actually suited to an extrovert who likes to get things done. Those of you who want to know can ask me more.

4. I had about 38 emails in my personal mail. That, friends, is totally unacceptable (as I say to the kids) so tonight I replied and cleared out and it feels great. I'm going to force myself to decide and DO instead of waiting for the email muse. Again I realise that for some of you that feels lightweight.... not so for me.

And last, here are my Project Life pics for April and May. I'm so glad I decided on a scaled down version because it's easy to put together when life is crazy (when is it not?!).



 

 

How was your long weekend?

PS Please pray for Mrs FF's family as her FIL died this afternoon.

The twins' 4th birthday - of lollipops and ipads

 

So I had a huge fright when I realised that in less than 3 weeks we are having a PARTY!!!

(this might be normal for some of you but it's just another sign that my life is more out of control than I like)

The only things I've done are:

1. book the venue
2. send out invites
3. think about clothes - I need to just try on the kids' things and ours... but we're mostly sorted

So, cake!

For the first year ever, I've decided to get in the swing of it and actually get a proper cake. I have 3 enquiries out... so I'll wait and see. I went to my lovely friend, Caren's, birthday lunch yesterday and the ladies there told me about two places in Jhb that do cakes. I've asked for quotes but everything is out on the West Rand and that's a lot of schlep for the morning of the party. Nevertheless, it will have to work out.

I can start with the party favours tomorrow but can only finish them off next weekend because I need to do all the printing. There's actually a ton of printing - best I make my list and get that sorted.

I've started Pinteresting (googling) the food and there are way too many options. We are going to feed people a lunch and then dessert of course but exactly what it will be remains to be seen :)

And then the presents.

I asked the kids what they want for their birthday presents.



Connor: A lollipop.... and chocolate.... and he proceeded to go on and on with FOOD!

Kendra: An iPad... and when I told her that will never happen on my watch, she then started naming random things like a glass, a ring and necklace like mine, a nice summer hat (she means frilly and girly and PINK), pink and green summer clothes, ballet bag, etc.

I realised that we still have bicycles we bought for Christmas hidden away (too many presents) so they will get that. And so I'm thinking there's no rush for the cameras and why not rather get them little travel suitcases (how cute will that be?!) since we go on a long weekend right after their birthday.

They remind us of this holiday every week when we drive past the airport! They would use those a lot for overnights with Granny (look at me being positive) and for our real holidays.

By the way, these travel agencies are tempting me so much, sending out things for Phuket all the time. Pay for 5 nights, stay for 7, and so on. I click and then half way through realise what I'm doing (that spending thing again).

What do you do when people ask you what your kids want/ need for their birthdays? 

I honestly mostly don't have a clue except what I don't want - battery-operated toys that make a noise :) and we have a TON of craft stuff (I think I have issues because it must be me buying it).

Anyway, a bit of a ramble but there you go.

Any good ideas for quick party food good for both adults and kids?
And where have you seen nice rolling suitcases for kids (bright colours but no characters since my kids don't know about these things)?

Did I mention I had a hair cut?

I had my hair cut (a whole 5 cm) on 17 May - that's four weeks ago.

I had big plans to go get my Brazilian two weeks after that.... well, it's not even booked yet!

This is my life for now.

So now I need to colour my hair again and then get the Brazilian two weeks later. Oy - it's a whole story and a half.

****************

I just realised I have only three weeks before the kids' birthday and a ton of things to do. I'm going to make a ginormous to-do list and start doing.

I also decided that this year, unlike other years, I'm not chasing up on anybody who hasn't RSVPd... as much as it kills me :)

I must say that a LOT of yes RSVPs have already come in.

*********************


Guess what?

A job is available at work that is 90% perfect for me. It's on the right level, in an area I've wanted to go back to (I was in this kind of area at previous company). I intend to apply first thing on Tues morning (Monday is a public holiday in SA).

I'm trying not to get too excited yet.

But I have prayed and just the fact that a job is up is a miracle in itself since there's a headcount freeze in most of the group at the moment.

Pray with me for God to speak loud and clear if this is for me!

**********************

I've been avoiding my work issues by shopping.

Bought R960 worth of clothes at Woolworths on Monday but when I realised what I was doing, I took most of it back yesterday (R670 refund).

I kept woollen stockings for Kendra and 4 snoods for me (circles of wool I'm wearing around my neck).

Have you done any impulse shopping recently?

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And since it's Friendship Friday, I want to tell you about two friends who really blessed me this week:

email from a friend on Monday morning to check on me since it was a new week in that terrible work environment
another friend went to do a party errand for me and I can't tell you how much that means (I did tell her... about 3 times :))

Tell me about anything that blessed you out of your socks this week.

What do you have planned for the long weekend?

So, Father's Day

You know how things just creep up on you?

Yes?

That was Father's Day for me.

Then again, my desk calendar says 1 May.... so life is a bit crazy but I'm trusting God for not much longer!

 

Anyway, D is, as you know, the best father in the world. I always knew he'd make a good father but I didn't know just how good.

I asked him tonight, "what does it feel like to be so totally ADORED by your kids?"

Kendra has a new thing where, when she hears that gate open, she announces with absolute GLEE, "Mummy! Your husband's home".

 

It's adorable. And then she sprints to the door - his very own welcoming committee.

So I printed a nice photo of D with the kids (one taken at the zoo in March), and I need to force them to sit still for two minutes to make a card for him.

And then I took them to Woolworths to buy him a nice winter jersey this evening. I said, "babies, which one should we get - black, navy or maroon?"

Connor said, "BLUE!" and Kendra was fine with that so I didn't argue and just went to pay.

 

He did tell me he wants some alone time on Sunday and to eat out with us, so I'm thinking a breakfast out before church, church, home for lunch and naps, and then I'll take them for a hot chocolate and muffin/ scone while D has some alone time, and then back home.

What are you doing for Father's Day?

no wonder she has no trouble trusting God to fix everything she can think of with this example of a loving father

PS these pics are in my 2013 MD and the kids folder :)