A post about NYC and my expectations

Now that New York City is 8 months in the past, I feel like I need to write a post to properly process some of my thoughts and feelings.

You might want to get yourself a nice cup of tea :)

New York City had always, always been on my bucket list and I'll even admit that my answer to those questions, "what would you do if you knew you only had a month to live" was to go spend that month in NYC :)

Why?

Because of the energy and the vibe.

I love cities, I love vibe and I love hustle and bustle.

So imagine what I felt when I arrived and was confused, frustrated and just plain overwhelmed.

I want to share one experience with you.

I had to get an adaptor so that I could plug my phone and ipad chargers into the sockets.

At the airport, I had 5 hours before the flight to Charlotte so I went to a shop that sold travel stuff.

Fresh in the USA and feeling excited that I (1) got through customs without a hitch (I always have these worse-case scenarios in my mind) and (2) had 5 hours to shop and occupy myself, I was my normal (confident) self so I went to a sales assistant and asked if she could help me find an adaptor.

Well now. First she was much louder than I'm used to and it felt like she was shouting to everybody in the shop about this adaptor/ converter (I think this is what the Americans call it?) and I just felt... STUPID. Picture this - all the people in the shop looking at me and this lady obviously thinking, "stupid tourist". My ex-ex boss laughed when I told him this story but it was SOOOOO not funny. I was mortified. And I'm not stupid. 

What did that teach me?

If you're looking for something, think twice before asking in case the person embarrasses you again.

That wasn't the only thing that happened.

You all know about my problems with the internet and phones when I was over there. A word to the travellers - sort out your technology before you leave and don't assume it will be easy to do once you're there (wherever there may be).

But all of those experiences left me with a dent in my self-confidence.

My time in Concord where I felt so very alone (except for God) was of course hugely smoothed over by meeting up with the Mandys and Beth in Charlotte.

That time was so special to me in so many ways - I hope you two know that!

And then back to NYC.

Grand Central Station just before midnight

These are some of the things that were really difficult for me about New York.

Directions
I know everybody says you can't get lost because Manhattan's a grid. Hello - I got lost a lot! The first time I got lost I decided to ask a New Yorker (a guy at a food cart). He was so abrupt and kind-of rude to me I really didn't want to ask anyone else the next time. So my trick was to stay still and observe people for a bit and find someone who didn't look like they were in a huge hurry (very rare in NYC even on those beautiful summer days that are perfect for meandering - they can catch some tips from us Africans :)) and then ask that person. Even so I found myself being Not Me (all apologetic and almost begging for help in my demeanor).

Are you asking where was D during this time?

D and I had to go our separate ways for an hour or so on two of those days because he wanted to see a lot more bookshops than I did, and I wanted to stop and take photos a lot more than he did :)



Pace of the city

Oh my word. I thought I was fast but no way. You walk your little legs off in that place otherwise you'll get kind-of trampled.

I kept thinking, there's no way I can bring the babies here...

Everything is fast - the people walk fast, the queues go fast, you have to be fast with getting out the right money and then taking your stuff and getting out of the way, making decisions, etc. Fast, fast, fast.

The scary thing is.... I am fast! And I couldn't cope in this fast place.



People overwhelm

When we went on the city tour, the lady gave us the stats on the number of people who come into Manhattan to work on a daily basis and what the average number of people per square metre is. It was about 240 times the most dense place (India or China).... she joked and said, "no wonder people in NYC don't look happy" and that is the truth.

No wonder they walk fast, talk fast, and are impatient with foreign ladies from South Africa.

When we met Pufferfish, I just stared at her and exhaled as I relaxed for the first time in NYC. She's calm, peaceful, not at all rushed and just so centred. It was an oasis for me :)

I suppose that's why I loved Bryant Park so much too - that was also an oasis within the city.




I don't want this post to come across like I didn't like New York. I loved it BUT I thought I would love it more.

Does that make sense?

My one friend from London and I chatted about this and she said, "New York is LOVELY for a holiday but no way would I want to live there" and that's how I feel too. Her husband could get a transfer to NYC so he took her on a look-see (without telling her that's what their holiday was for) and she said only after she was telling him this, did he confess that he secretly was testing the waters. LOL And they're from London. But for me, London was more of a reserved unfriendliness, whereas NYC was quite assertive in its unfriendliness. Do you know what I mean?

I'm certainly aware that South Africa sets the friendliness and helpfulness standards very high (for me, Scotland was a close second - now those were very friendly people) and that my bar is probably unreasonable.

Although, in North Carolina, I also found the service staff very friendly in the hotels, shops and  restaurants.


I read something on Laura Vanderkam's blog once about memories and travel.

Something along the lines of ... you may not enjoy the actual hours and minutes of something like travel (like travelling with kids!) but afterwards, the remembered memories are MUCH better.

That is so true.

I look back on all the photos I took and I can't remember the frustration I felt or being close to tears when I got lost yet again.

And of course the absolute best part for me of NYC was meeting my blog friends Heather and Pufferfish. Close behind that, of course, was Staples and Aunty Annie's pretzels :)

I love how you can see all 4 of us - D, me, Tom and Heather in the reflection

 I said all that to say this - I think I'm about over all the crazy because I'm actually starting to think about my next trip!

This time I will have zero expectations - I'll go in ready to be the slow, misunderstood one and just prepare my suitcase for lots of staples goodies :)

Have you been to New York?
Have you had any of these feelings? Or are K (my London friend) and I the only ones?