We have two types of non-listeners:
one who only wants to do things their own way and another who is mostly in dreamland and clearly we are not part of the dream!
When we spoke to one of the teachers at the teacher conferences, she was HORRIFIED because at school, they do listen!
It came to a head for me at a party yesterday.
We all know the sugar adds to the non-listening but still... I was calling one child to come over so another lady could take a family photo of us, and I 1, 2, 3'd it and still the child didn't listen.
At this point one should put the offender in time out. But I didn't.
This is (to my knowledge) the only time I haven't followed through in public. I don't know what was going on with me (losing my mind now that I'm 39? :)) but I didn't.
!
Louisa, are you cringing? (Louisa is my parenting hero - she doesn't take nonsense and will remove her little offender from a PARTY if necessary)
When I (over) analysed it with D afterwards, we decided that maybe it's because the lady was waiting and I felt the pressure for the PHOTO (bad!!!) instead of following through.
D told me I need to stop with the photos!!!!!
I will in future.
Anyway, I grabbed the child, handed over to D and we took photos. They were obviously not great so the deed isn't even justified.
In the car home, we had a good "chat" with the children - I must confess I laid down the law maybe too much (D told me afterwards they are only 4. In my view they're worse than they were when they were 2 with the not listening) but I did tell them that Aunty Louisa has taken Nicola straight home and did they want us to do that too? NOOOOOO, Mummy, we'll be good and listen. (Lies!)
Back to you very clever internets.
What are your current tricks for your non-listeners?
Pure coincidence but this set of photos is from 18 July when I was off sick. Kendra was the super listener in her class which is why she has all those stickers. There was also a fizzer lolly but that's a whole other blog post!
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| seriously, is there anything sweeter than a sleeping baby? He looks TWO! |
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| worms in beds - Nanny S does this with child 1 while fetching child 2 from the bath :) |
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| this worm thought it was huge fun when I said, "are those WORMS in the beds?" |
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| this worm is not happy to be uncovered |
We just reached to the point where 1-2-3 doesn't work...and I haven't found the next step. If you find it, let me know!!
ReplyDeleteI'm also very often like Louisa where I take no nonsense with non listeners but with hubby being someone with a small heart, this is sometimes not followed through.
ReplyDeleteOf course they listen at school! It is part of their plan to make you go crazy!
ReplyDeleteIn that situation I would have left the kid out the photo. It may not bring the child to the photo in the moment BUT when they look at them they will feel upset they aren't in it. Cameron moans that I don't take photos of him but when I do he is silly or sulky about it so I don't - now he actually smiles a little!
You have to choose your battles sometimes. Is the photo worth the public scene/sulky faces etc.
With Jack I now say "I am going to gym! Are you coming" - to which he replies most often than not "No I watch TV" - so I leave. Well I get in the car and start it. I do it with a lot of things at them moment. Takes time but does seem to work when he wont listen.
Oh they are so cute...I love your photos...the feet ones are my favourite.
ReplyDeleteThank heavens they listen at school. I know Leane struggled at the beginning of the year in grade R with the listening. I also look at my big grownup kids and realise they made it afterall :-P
If you find the trick to getting them to listen please let me know. Mine doesn't even at school. It was the lowest mark on her report card..... "Takes instructions from adults" Her mar "resistant" Yikes.
ReplyDeleteI do the same as Laura - get in the car and "leave". Mostly it works.
I'm not cringing at all Marcia, just so you know... ;-)
ReplyDeleteYour kids are probably the best behaved I've ever come across, I am actually surprised that they have off days at all! Hahaha. don't beat yourself up about it, or what you should have done or whatever. We all live to fight another day, next time they'll either toe the line or you'll remind them where you put it.
This kind of reminds me of something Steamcleaner told me 2 years ago one day when I was lamenting the early onset of terrible two's with N. She laughed and told me that in her experience the terrible twos are nothing compared to the f-ing fours. ;-)
Ps! Awe thanks for the hero bit. *blush* I did seriously not expect that at all. :-)
I’m having problems with both my kids lately and I definitely need to re-look at our current strategies – they are OBVIOUSLY not working. Must tell you I don’t do 123 at home but the other day Joel tried to 123 me which means that they are doing it at school. I am thinking of getting that book with a view to introducing it properly at home – he obviously understands the concept already.
ReplyDeleteChild1 needs a medication upgrade. I should blog about this.
I'm sorry, Honey...you know we have our struggles here these days, too.
ReplyDeleteI need to blog about it, but I've found myself doing many fewer timeouts lately, and trying to appeal to the motivation of the specific behavior. So many times the girls seem to be doing things to get my attention / try to get under my skin (actually, J's skin...but that's another story). I have been taking them aside and talking to them about what they're doing / not doing. There are times I feel the timeout approach would just make things worse (if they're acting out for attention, and I banish them to a chair by themselves for 5 minutes), so I'm trying some different things. What I don't love about it is it doesn't feel as consistent as the 1-2-3 Magic approach...but I feel it's best right now.
So...no solutions, but just wanted to say I hear ya! Hugs!!!
Sorry, hope you find something that works. But I couldn't help laughing because your kids are just too well behaved that I can't even picture them not listening to you.
ReplyDeleteLove the pictures (as always)
My kids don't listen either, sometimes I just want to run away!
ReplyDeleteOh my word, my kids are going through a really bad listening phase. Outright ignoring us, more like it. It is so frustrating, and NO I don't have any solutions!! Oh those worms aer sooo cute!
ReplyDelete