{Friendship Friday} which qualities define friendship for you?

Yes, it's true - I really own only 1 skirt. I used to have about 12 skirt suits for work. When I got too fat to fit into them I gave them all away.

Have never been a billowy dress kind of person. Do I look like that kind of person???? (the answer would be no)

Again, I had about 4 shift dresses (a nice firm cotton) which ended on the knee. Those suited me but I haven't found nice ones recently. The current fashions just don't do it for me.

I am not into flow and non-form fitting fashions... and the one time I stopped to look at a dress recently, my iphone got stolen so I'm taking it as a sign :) HA!

pse pray for my friend, Beth. These Sandy Hook murders have been rough for her because of her son's murder last year.

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So... I'm super-stoked. I have 12 glorious days ahead of me before I see the office again.

I phoned D at about 2 pm and asked him if he wanted to join me somewhere for a coffee. D is not as spontaneous as I am (yes, next to him I look positively unstructured) and only phoned me back 1.5 hours later (when I was nearly home) to say yes.

We had a little coffee date at Bedford (I posted a pic to instagram and FB) and now we've properly planned the days ahead.

I also laid out clothes for both kids for the 12 days ahead.

I just feel better and like I can relax when things are organised.

PS My 2013 goals (all 5 pages of them, but the font is ginormous!) are all ready and printed already.
PPS if you sign up to my newsletter you will get my goals form with word of the year, etc. I really don't mind if you sign up, download, and unsubscribe straight away. My feelings used to get hurt yearrrrrs ago but not anymore. Honestly!

Mrs FF

 

Let's talk about friendship qualities we all want in a friendship.

I did a search on my blog and I wrote a very nice post in 2010 when almost none of you were reading.

Here's the post (pse go read Heather's comment - too cool!) - still all true - but basically I said the qualities I want in a friendship are:

• honesty
• communication and true connection
• reciprocity
• loyalty
• support through good times and bad
• consistency

 And then a few weeks ago I wrote about going from friendship to best friendship. I wrote that my thoughts were chemistry, reciprocal effort and lots of vulnerability were key in that transition.

A lot of you said that these things happen naturally or they don't. Yes, that's true but what were the factors that helped transition you to that state?

Two people don't just wake up one day and say, "oh my word, we're best friends". A series of events happen that lead to the feeling of extreme closeness, right?

M, Louisa, me, Cat

In her book, MWF seeking BFF, Rachel cited some research that said the most important parts of friendship are intimacy, interaction, reciprocity and positivity.

1. Intimacy is what I call honesty, connection and vulnerability.
2. Interaction and reciprocity are the same thing for me.
3. While I haven't used the word positivity, I think it's safe to say that I am not drawn to very negative people. Initially I might try and win them over to help them see some of the good in life but after a while, the energy drain is too much. I have one such friend but I only get together with her a couple of times a year and that's enough :)

So I think I agree with the research plus adding a few more. The honesty and loyalty are non-negotiables for me - comes down to trust, I guess.

What do you think about those specific 4 qualities?

Which qualities define friendship for you?


PS next week I want to read your round up of the year, friendship-wise. Please humour me :)

Here was my half-year recap.

{Friendship Friday} So there's this girl...and I'm throwing down a challenge

I was working on a very interesting project at work last year.

We'd done lots of research and in my team, we're usually the most passionate about any given business idea but we also wanted to brainstorm our thoughts with some more level-headed people :)

So a colleague and I met with this girl.

We had our meeting and it was great. We all got along very well and that was that.

Well, I ran into her a couple of times (you know how you suddenly start seeing people everywhere once you've met them?) and each time we have a really, really good chat.

She and I also share similar hippy parenting beliefs. By hippy I mean "delay pre-school as long as you can". I've mentioned this before but it's rare in South Africa to not have kids in school at this "late age".

Last Friday I had a LOVELY long chat to her again and as we said our good-byes, I suddenly thought, "I really like her and would like to be her friend".

Oh dear.

Normally I'd be the first to say, "we should do lunch" and actually send an email the minute I was back at my desk.

But...

I think I'm a little gun-shy after the friend dumping.

I haven't opened myself up to being hurt since that happened earlier this year.

And to be honest, I start questioning whether my radar is off. I generally know when people aren't into me - it's not hard to see as I'm a "what you see is what you get" person so you either like what you see or you don't.

I am not changing so I know I'm not for everyone :) (as Dr Phil once said)

So when my radar says one thing and things happen that are the exact opposite of that feeling, I understandably freak out. Yes.

It's like I can't trust my instincts anymore.

Back to this girl.

I realised I'm scared of being rejected.

However, I also decided after I exercised some courage with the Gautrain last month that I need to do one act of courage every month. To keep my courage muscles toned :)

I need to, if I'm going to reach my friend-dating goals. 

So here's the deal.

I will invite her out for lunch and I'll come back and tell you what happened next week.

BUT I'm also challenging you.

As an aside, when Rachel threw out a challenge on her blog last year, I actually invited someone out to supper! 

Right. So either

1. invite a new person to do something - anything (gym, coffee, supper, cake) - to further your friendship OR
2. tone your courage muscles in the area of friendship (have a tough conversation, do a random act of kindness, etc)

Are you up for it?

Tell me in the comments what you're going to do.

PS tomorrow I'm meeting 3 people in the computer - 1 I've never met, 1 I've met once and the other I've met 3 times and we have a pending date. Can you guess who? :)

{Friendship Friday} How easy is friend dating when you're at different life stages?

I know this is a day late but it somehow didn't feel right to just move on past and ignore my friendship friday thoughts!


So you all know I love the back and forth banter after you leave a comment on the blog. Well, in one such exchange someone mentioned that she wonders if other women also have a hard time with one aspect of the friendship thing - actually having friend dates when you and your friends are in different life stages.

She is the only one of her friends who is married and with kids.

Let's face it - kids throw your whole life up in the air and you just grab a few balls here and there and try to juggle them.

Here are my experiences:

When we were child-free (and we were without kids for a LONG 14 years, most of those years by choice), we still made plans with our friends who all had kids. Except for two couples, which I'll talk about later.

The difference was that all the couples with kids except for one had kids who were older and more independent.

The one friend couple with smaller kids parent very differently to how we thought we would parent (and that's a blog for next week :)) and so after one too many instances of having to DEEP clean after they left on a Friday night, we decided to not have them over anymore and instead meet at a restaurant or at their house.

That worked well for years and when their kids were older they started coming over to our place again :)

The other two couples without kids were in the same position as us then so there were no issues. But now, it's a problem for us.

Couple 1
This is a couple I wrote about previously who fight loud and about sex in front of us. D said he's not paying good babysitting money to be stressed so now she and I go out together without the husbands. Occasionally they will pop past for a quick coffee and that is fine but not a full-on date night.

Couple 2
This couple is super structured and incredibly OCD. They are very good uncles and aunts to their nephews and nieces so I thought they'd be okay with our two. BUT (I've never written about this here) I got a bad vibe the last time we were together at their house (late last year). I just don't think they were prepared for the busyness of two-year-old twins and I honestly think they were glad to see us go.

Of course this breaks my heart - we've been friends for 12 years! They didn't ask us back (!!!) and I actually reached out to invite them here for lunch soon. In a strange twist of fate, they may be doing to us what we did to our other friends. Ha!

Other couple friends
Our other friends are REALLY easy to get together with because their kids are either grown up enough to take care of themselves or they're already out of the house :))

So those are the couple friends.

Of my friends where I am only friends with the girls, there is only one I can think of who doesn't have kids.

My blog friend, F.

  

I invited F to my infertility support group in Feb and then I suggested a movie in March.

She was totally game and the plan was set about a month in advance, only nearer the time we both felt like speaking more so we had supper instead.

I must say, it is lovely meeting up with friends without babies because the planning is simple and uncomplicated.

You guys know I prioritise friendships so D and I chat about when he needs to be home on time and off I go. I prep the kids in the morning that Daddy will put them to bed and that I'll come kiss them when I get home and that's what we do. Easy.

Somehow (and this is a topic for yet another blog post) I feel no guilt whatsoever leaving the kids at night because they're meant to be sleeping. But on a weekend I very rarely leave them alone and instead make "family dates".

F was late so I took a little walk and had to take these pics

Yes, all the cool and stylish people thought I was weird taking pics

I chose this restaurant totally based on how pretty everything was - look at those blue chairs!

our view looked better in person

gorgeous skies. Fortunately F is weird like me and didn't mind me taking these pics

So F and I had a lovely supper a few weeks ago. 

To summarise, I'm currently finding it easier making plans with people in different life stages than us (no kids) and I suppose if we host all the time or go to a child-friendly restaurant, things with our other couple friends will go back to normal :)

What about you?

Have you found it easier or more difficultto make plans with friends in different life stages?

PS Rachel from MWF Seeking BFF   talks in her book about one friend date exactly like this. In her example, it didn't work out because they were far too dissimilar. I think that person's name was Julie. Will one of you (I'm pleased to say there are about 5 people besides me who read the book - Sweets, Helene, MandyE, Rebecca, April, anyone else?) correct me if I'm wrong? Thanks :)

 PPS if you want me to talk about a particular friendship aspect, please leave a note in the comments or email me.

{Friendship Friday} Do you have friend goals?

So after my last post on friendship, I got to thinking I need some concrete friend goals.


Why?

I still don't feel I have enough close friends who I can deeply connect with.

So I'm thinking that I want to have 20 friend dates this year.

That's one-on-one friend dates.

With existing friends and with new friends.

In fact, maybe to up the ante I should be bold and reach out to at least 5 new people this year? People I think I'd get along with?

A blog reader had problems commenting on here at first (I'm not sure if you still have problems commenting, F?) so she'd email me.

I love emails :)

And through this whole exercise we've come a long way and I am taking her to my infertility support group in two weeks time.

I'm considering that friend date 2 since I reached out and made the date.

Can't wait to meet you in-person, F :)

I firmly believe we get the most out of life if we're intentional about it.

Do any of you (Rebecca?) read The Nester?

I read a fantastic post recently about how she had two goals one year - one of them to make more friends locally.

I love that a big name blogger is willing to admit that she wants more friends and intentionally go after it.

Do you have any friend goals this year?

Even if you're not interested in meeting more people, how often do you intend to get together with your (existing) friends?

Do you need more friends?

my card and friendship bracelet from Rachel - yes, I squealed like a teenager when I got it :)

I took a really deep beath and had to be really brave when I blogged that I needed friends.

Because nobody ever says, "I really would like more friends" or "I wish I had a special friend".

Until Rachel in MWF Seeking BFF.

When I stumbled upon her blog I was attracted to this well-adjusted girl who was going around OPENLY admitting she didn't have it all figured out in the friend department.

I love that about her.

That she knew this about herself and was brave enough to put it out there.

And if you spend some time on the blog, you'll see lots and lots of women admitting the same thing.

Me included.

And here I thought I was weird and was the only one who felt that way.

In the book she talks about some formula (and I'm way too lazy to go fetch my Kindle and look through the highlights) by which you calculate your "maximum happy number of friends".

Anyway, this number is 150 social connections.

She did the calculation and it showed that she had space for 20 friends.

Interestingly, I work with a guy (we mentor other people) who said on a course we went on that he only has space for 6 friends in his life at any one time so he doesn't even bother trying to be friendly with more people.

Yes, I was horrified!

There's a kernel of truth because imagine if we just hung onto all our friends from primary school (grade school) and kept gathering and gathering people? I would think the relationships could all only ever be at quite a superficial level.

It's like that fact I learned at a networking course in 2010. I feel I need to put the date because it's obviously changed by now, 18 months later. People have on average 64 friends on FB and only connect and talk to 6 of them. That ratio felt right to me then and still does now.

Of course I'm way too lazy to calculate anything except real money :) BUT I do know I have space for friends.

Still.

If you read that post I linked to up at the top, you'll see I took a more passive route to my search for friends early last year (praying and waiting) and then I like to think I ramped it up towards the end of the year by getting off my butt and actually meeting 3 blog friends in person.

It paid off for me because God indeed deepened three friendships, another three got worse (and I don't hurt about them although I should, if that makes any sense) and He brought a wonderful, new friend into my life.

This is besides the blog friends I met in person so all in all a fabulous year, friend-wise.


But over to you.


Have you ever admitted that you need or want more friends?

How many do you think you can handle comfortably?

Do you find it more difficult to make friends the older you get?

I have so much to blog about MWF Seeking BFF that I really need to start!

I find myself commenting on other blogs and saying "I really need to blog about this" and instead of first making a list of all the stuff I want to talk about, I'm just going to start and hope for the best.

Okay, so friends.

Strangely enough, D, my MIL and I have just been talking about how hard it is to make friends the older you get.

She was saying even for her at 68, it's really difficult.

Apparently she'll ask for the person's number if they click and then she actually phones first and initiates a plan to meet up. And will then follow up.

But the initiation is a topic for another blog post.

D and I were saying some of our best friends are from our university days.

Which leads me to believe that it's getting harder to make friends as you age. Naturally, that is.

Sweets and I have both read the book so we chat behind the blog scenes about friendship.

I love it!

She was telling me how she wants her son to be able to make friends and not be lonely as he's growing up.

I said to her it's so easy when you're young. You have a toy, I want to play with it and we're FRIENDS.

Same kind of thing at early school. You stay in the same suburb, go to the same school and you're FRIENDS.

I even remember making friends with girls at high school whose only common interest with me was that we all did Home Economics. Yes. I was no practical use for years and years but I had all the theory :)

And of course I had ballet friends... and Spanish friends...

These days, it's not good enough that we just work together at the same place, or even in the same team.

There are people on my team who I've worked with for years but I wouldn't call us friends. We're just colleagues.

But others have been working with me for a shorter time (I've mentioned my strict work colleague before) and we LOVE each other (or at least I do her) because we have similar values...

Same with my infertility support group.

Yes, we're all mothers now but there are some girls I'm friends with and others I'm just friendly with.


(also please ignore incorrect grammar, etc. I just want to get this out)

But back to you.

Do you agree it's more difficult to make friends naturally the older you get? Or not? If not, what's been the difference for you?

And not to keep flogging the horse, but have you read the book yet?

PS how cool is it that I just clicked over to check the link and I see Sweets blogged about friendship today too? LOVE IT!
PPS those pics were all taken in Ireland in 2009 on our last pre-babies trip. At the time of the visit, there was only 1 baby between the 3 couples. There are now 6, two sets of twins :)

The good, the bad and the ugly about 2011

Thanks for all your wonderfully insightful comments on the terrible 2.5 post.

D said to me, "what have we done wrong?" and I said, "I will blog. The ladies are always wonderfully objective about these things" and you were!

Thank you!




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I wish I could take another week to blog about each aspect of my life for 2011 but most of you except 3 people would be bored stiff :)

Let's start.

The ugly



1. The back pain that necessitated my gall bladder removal on 11 October (D's and my 19th "going out" anniversary) was the only non-reproductive surgery I've had to have done and in my view, that was quite enough.

It also set me back in my weight loss journey *sigh* as if that isn't hard enough already but I am ready for next week.

2. And then, Kendra's issues this month. It turned out to be a kidney infection which is not all gone yet. We visited the doc again yesterday and she's on a lower grade antibiotic for a full month to totally zap it.

I don't even want to think about all the bills rolling in over the next week. She had 3 scans/ x-rays which come out of the medical savings account and ours was depleted in Aug, 3 blood tests and saw the paed/ GP 3 times, and is going again for a follow-up on Tues. We're probably looking at about R5000 out of pocket :(

3. Something I haven't blogged about - Connor. Connor is totally off me and has told me many times he doesn't like me. This is probably the toddler version of "I hate you". It hurts me deeply and I have even cried. Last night I was clearing out paper in my study and found something I'd printed on the internet, about not worrying too much when your kids say they hate you. I really needed to read it then. Intellectually I know no one's lives are perfect BUT when you read Facebook updates of perfect mothers and perfect children (or at least, my friends' statuses seem to be perfect) it makes you feel even more inadequate.

4. My friend's son was murdered in Feb. I was so shocked and horrified that I did nothing except survive for a month. My diary is completely blank. And that was just me. I still can't think too much because I just want to cry. Thankfully there is justice in this world. The boy that stabbed him to death was sentenced to life without parole (there is no death penalty in their state). My friend said she didn't think anything could be worse than getting the news but there was something worse - sitting through the whole trial and hearing a play-by-play for a whole week. I can't even imagine.

5. My website was hacked 3 times in one month, once again the next month, and a different domain was hacked again in Nov. Not this blog. I deleted that one without even a smidge of anger or anything. This is very bad though - it's dangerous when I become so cold about things. I can't even explain the stress I felt during this time. I really don't care to repeat any of that. Sad thing is my site still doesn't do its thing properly in some people's browser settings. I have just had to let go.

The bad

1. My wonderful boss leaving me. I'm dealing with it as best as I know how - by blocking it out. I've already put myself in his calendar for a regular catch-up to talk nonsense like we do.
2. The church group not being as successful as I thought it would be. I really thought this group would take off but it hasn't. I was faithful though and poured my heart and soul into each and every talk, preparing, doing handouts, etc. Not sure if it was just on a bad day but it is what it is. I still haven't heard back from the pastor after my email saying I wouldn't be doing it next year.
3. Business.............. shocking. I had wonderful clients but overall, not great sales or responses to anything really. Totally disheartening again when I do pour my life into it. Still praying about how to keep it alive but not let it consume me. My coach friend thinks it's just the economy but I don't know. I'm gearing up to do final financials over the next day or two.
4. Christmas in the hospital. Just very sad. I still cringe at the thought of eating a roll for lunch - and not even a tasty roll. Our friends from yesterday said they just assumed we'd be okay since we didn't ask for help. I hate asking for help. You?
5. Then, friendship. I had a hard time at the beginning of the year especially. As with my fake family, I also have fake friends. I like to imagine that I'm as important to others as they are to me and we have relationships like Friends. Yes, I like the dream world I live in :) But I'm getting better at learning to accept the form of friendship for what it is.

The good

1. Deciding to work out with a personal trainer. Except for my times near the end with J, the one before this current trainer, I've loved it. I go because I've paid upfront, I work out and I see results. The only worry is what if I have to work out with someone forever??? I get used to good things very quickly!
2. Losing 3 kg on Weigh-Less (and putting 2 of them back) - that part's not good but I want a true picture
3. The kids were a delight until they turned 2 years 4 months. These last two months have been hard with them. Thank goodness there are flashes of cuteness.
4. I had pieces published in 3 books and wrote my own book. I have not worked through the edits yet though - once everything settles back after our holiday away (notice how positive I am) I'm going to take a day's leave and get stuck in.
5. Getting regular massages for 8 months this year til my therapist left.
6. Getting two Brazilian blow-waves - changed my hair life. Those with crazy curly hair will understand.
7. Following through on my commitment to do the church group. This was a good thing for me because I had to really push through some months.
8. Doing my first (and only)  talk about infertility. I really don't know what God's cooking up but should I still bother to go to She Speaks next year?
9. Doing the Newtown photo shoot. I really should have done this earlier - I can't believe how happy it makes me to look at those images. They are TOTALLY me and I love, love, LOVE the results. I have frames on my desk at home and at work, in a brag book, in photo books, on my walls at home and I'm still deciding which ones to put on canvas. Best decision ever.
10. My word of the year, courage, has done me well this year - more on that tomorrow but it helped me to live BIG this year. To step out and take action even when I felt vulnerable.
11. Paying off our bond. Yes. I haven't blogged about it because I'm coaching people how to do it and that's one of my rules - to not do both. But yes.
12. While I'm talking about money, I had a good money year at work. A fantastic bonus. It kind-of embarrasses me, it was that good, but then I think I haven't always received good bonuses so it's about time, right? I also had two other free money payments and I also had a good increase.
13. Of course the reason for all that is that I also had a really good year at work - I'm still working on a fantastic project, one I'm so excited about - I can't WAIT til it launches. Aside from Big Project, I feel like I've come into my own more. I'm very comfortable doing the (secret) stuff I do and it shows in my external and internal relationships at work. 
14. I have truly LOVED working with the people in my work team. We are GREAT together - we disagree nicely, challenge one another, communicate beautifully and work together really well, especially with deadlines. Speaking of which, I have two nice meaty things to do this week at work...
15. Real life friends - I prayed early this year for God to send people into my life who were right for me. As you know, I crave connection. And so some friendships deepened, some others started and still others have fallen away. I'm trying not to take those (too) personally as maybe they're just not into me as much as I was into them. I've so enjoyed our Fertility Babies suppers, my lunch/ shopping dates with other friends as well as the socials with our couple friends.
16. Blog friends that became real friends - those I met like Rina, Louisa and Hayley - and those I haven't (yet) met although we might as well, for all the emailing we do behind the scenes like Julia and MandyE.
17. Received plenty of good mail - much of it from etsy (I checked and I placed 16 etsy orders this year) but also from lots of dear friends all over the world.
18. Also had the honour of sending good mail to plenty of people. I haven't counted but let's just say I now budget hundreds of rands for postage every month :) I've probably done 100 random acts of kindness this year. It's so satisfying to write, address and mail envelopes and know that people will get them all over the world.
19. And last but not least, my creative expression. I feel like this year I brought pretty back in a big way. People at work say things like, "you're becoming so creative" and I say, "I've always liked making things pretty - it's just that I'm making the time for it now" and that's 100% true. I've always liked paper and stationery and this is another outlet for me. I did those washi tape binder clips in the hospital with Kendra one day.
20. My gorgeous new camera. I've had it for exactly 1 month and I have 743 pics in my December folder (still have to download the last few days) compared to 109 in November. Yes. Scary. I am 100% happy with it and I still haven't read the manual.
21. Moving to the turquoise bank. This might seem trivial but I can't explain how I'm LOVING my new bank, 9 months in. The service is just SO outstanding and I've not had a single complaint; instead they delight me at every turn. I was with the previous red bank for 25 years and while I want to say, "why did I wait so long?" regrets are useless.
22. Something fun - the kids stopped stripping off their clothes. I am not joking - I used to have na.ked children (completely na.ked) running through the house without their nappies, peeing on the tiles. Not fun!

It's refreshing to see the good still outweighs the bad and ugly because it sure didn't feel like it til I started writing this post. :)

I said to D on our date afternoon, even in the midst of our infertility, I always felt I'd had a good year because the infertility was really the only bad thing in my life.

This year felt like so many areas sucked - medical, business, some personal, we weren't 100% on the same page a lot of the time, s*x, etc.

I am SO glad for this opportunity of a Brand New Year to turn over a clean page.

There's a scripture (Lamentations 3:22 - 23 - I looked it up - I'm not that good :)) I love that goes.. "His mercies are new every morning" and it's true. No matter how bad a particular day or year is, the very next one is always an opportunity to start anew.

That's exactly what I intend to do.

So that's my 2011.

Did anything surprise you? 


On a scale of 1 - 10, how was your 2011?

PS I've just finished MWF Seeking BFF - oh, it's so good. I can't wait to start blogging about all the friendship insights I had.

It happens in threes, right?

Long story short but I ordered six photo books.

Four copies of one style, and two of another.

After huge problems with the system uploading, I copied two files (one of each) onto a disc and dropped it off more than two weeks ago.

I phoned and phoned because I kept getting messages like they hadn't received my files, and they just don't return my calls.

Finally I get a message that my order has been dispatched, I phone back and ONE photo book has been sent.

After two weeks, mind.

So I phone again. Can't get through.

Finally I go onto their FB page and write some rude things there. I get a response and I emailed to the address given.

No response on the Friday but Monday morning someone phones.

Shame, she asked some really stupid questions and I let her have it.

However, she was great because she fixed my problems (I think) and my photo books should be with me this week.

Just in time for the MIL but not to post to the THREE other addresses for Christmas.

So that's number 1.


Then my medical aid cancels my gym membership because they told me to go 4 times in November and I went 4 times.

When I phone to query they tell me they sent the email on 15th and it meant I had to go 4 MORE times.

My point? Then they should say, "as at 15th, you've only been once and need to go 4 more times" OR "you need to go 5 times in November". Straight forward and to the point.

They tell me "4 times by the end of November means 4 times after the 15th".

Sorry buddies. And the manager person (3rd one I spoke to) was horrendous - I would have fired her.

I flip and tell them you are supposed to be keeping me HEALTHY not increasing my blood pressure. I will have to put this down on hellopeter.com.

I wasn't even joking. I was SO furious.

You know what I can't stand?

Condescending customer service people.

Ugghhhhh - makes me spitting mad.

A guy on the emotional intelligence course I was on described his "spitting mad" like a red mist descending. Mine is like a heavy red thundershower - it's that quick.

Anyway, no reply by the time I left work at 4:10.

That's number two.

Then I've been selling the baby stuff.

My friend very kindly put it on their junk mail list and I had 3 takers. First two no problems.

This one?

She comes today, unpacks everything in our reception area and when I got back from getting her change, shows me a 2cm tear in the cot bumper (stitching came loose, probably from the laundering, nothing 2 minutes with a needle and thread wouldn't fix).

I apologise and when I saw her face, said it is still way less than half for the stuff.

Well, she seemed fine but I got a nasty email from her this afternoon, questioning my personal integrity, etc.

Oy vey! I am soooo cross.

I've only just calmed down - three hours later - and have sent her an email honestly saying that I'm hurt by her questioning my integrity but I do apologise for her frustrations. And if I had seen it I would have fixed the stitching.

If she'd said whatever at the time, I would have given her money back but I don't have time for the whole schlep.

And that, dear friends, is number 3.

What would you have done?

Of course a bonus number 4 is that my Kendra is still not well. Her urine was fine when the doctor's office phoned yesterday but I told them she was still spiking fevers. They phoned today to check on her and we agreed if there were fevers tonight, tomorrow I'll bring her in. Well, 2 fevers so far and it's only 8pm, so we are going back tomorrow. I hope it's nothing serious? Please pray for her.

P.S. Coming up...
I promise tomorrow is recipe day. I'll even do the post now so it's ready to post as my boss is working me til the very last - no time to slack a little at work, something I was quite looking forward to :)

A post about Connor that reminds me very much of those early days...

Parties and party favours...

And then it's practically Christmas.

Do you know I've already posted more than 365 times for the year? No? I was horrified too!

THANK YOU for your comments. She's just not that into me is not about any of you - I'm 95% sure those 3 bloggers don't even read here. But StrongBlonde, yesssssss, let's be blog buddies :)

PPS MFW Seeking BFF is out today! I was 15 mins late to work because I had to start reading once it delivered to my Kindle. I intend to go cozy up and get stuck in shortly :)