Joburg-style entertaining

I've spoken a lot on the blog before about how it seems in my circles, most people prefer to meet up by going out to eat instead of having people over.

I have wondered if it's just us... but that's another story!


Then we had a family wedding a few weekends ago and I was reminded of something else which I thought only happened to me, but my BIL also spoke about. Now I think it's maybe just a facet of Joburg-style entertaining.

He said he doesn't get this Joburg business where people ask you to bring basically all your own food with you. He said if he can't afford to have people over, he doesn't invite them :)

We've spoken before about bringing a salad or dessert with you, so it's not that.

He gave an example where their neighbours "invited" them over for a braai, and then said they should bring their own meat, and their drinks and could they also bring a salad?

So he said (hopefully only to us!), "well then that's bringing the whole meal! What's the point of inviting people over?"

HA! Too funny.

I didn't mention anything about how my SIL used to invite us over yearrrrrrs ago and tell us to bring our own food. Payback :)



 Funny stories aside, amazingly I still managed to see a few friends despite doing no "entertaining" .

We didn't want to add any more complexity to our life with all the nanny drama, so we made a decision early on to do nothing the whole month.

This is what nothing looks like for me:

• two parties 
• two 1:1 friend dates which were just divine
• my Let's Do This workshop

As soon as I hit publish, I'm going to update my March calendar with a few plans.

But the main plan is we are going to see MICHAEL BUBLE on 21 March. I CAN'T WAIT!

Are any of you going?
What are your hospitality/ social plans for March?

{Friendship Friday} The heart of hospitality and a Friday round-up

Hospitality's been on my mind a lot these days, especially since I read Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes in December.

Interesting (to me) - I didn't love a previous book of hers (Cold Tangerines - it felt more suited to a blog than a book) but I LOVED this one, easily one of my best books last year.

Recommended by Modern Mrs Darcy, who has a genuinely lovely blog. I heartily recommend it if you like intelligent, thoughtful debate and good books.

When I read non-fiction, I have to feel like I connect with the person and I totally connected with her heart in this one. Totally.

You should get this book :)

I also watched a series of videos from the Allume conference. You can watch them here.

The thing I took away from that book and from some of the videos is this: the heart of hospitality is when having people over is more about them than about you "entertaining".

Isn't that lovely?

When I teach on the motivational gifts (from the Bible), I always say the gift of hospitality is not about being the best cook or entertainer; part of it is about opening your home to others but more than that, it's about making people feel welcome and at home in any place.

As for me, I can't wait for Nanny S to come back so my home can be completely sorted and then I can start having people over again :)

Have you read Bread and Wine?
What does hospitality mean to you?

PS you need to read the tips on this post and this one

On hospitality and offering up your bed

I just found a new blog and there was a post about having guests staying over with some tips on how to make their stay as comfortable as possible, which of course got me thinking....

Apparently it's a thing in some cultures to always offer the most comfortable bed (usually the one in the main bedroom) to the guests.

I'd never heard about this before.

BUT.... on our trip to England in 2008, not one, not two but THREE sets of friends all insisted we take their bed. 

At the time I didn't even properly connect the dots but I do remember feeling that our friends were all so LOVELY. They are.

I personally have never ever offered up my bed.

(I may have some issues because I'm very fond of my bed and love it dearly!)

Do you know which cultures these are?
Also, do you have people to stay over? Do you offer up your bed?


You could always find waterloo hotels for your guests to stay in.



I can tell you a few things people have done that have made me feel particularly loved and welcome:

1. handwritten notes each morning of our visit, and sometimes at night too (I have them all saved!) on top of our cereal bowls... handwritten notes in general (I have them all!)
2. asking if we eat anything in particular so they could get it for us
3. giving REALLY good directions (ask the man at the Spar for our keys!)

(my mother and sister always cook my favourite foods - my acts of service love language)

What kind of things have made you feel very welcome when you've stayed over at someone's house?

PS I won't tell you about a stay that really did not go great at all! Or should I?

Hospitality and entertaining

I realised on Sunday morning that we suck at hospitality.

D's mother babysat while we went to see Crowded House (more on that later) and unbeknown to me, he told her to come early.

So that's my excuse.

I wasn't expecting her at 3:10 but still, I hadn't put out towels or prepared her supper.

Terrible!

At least the guest bedroom is always neat and tidy.

It's not like me and I said to D that since the babies, we are actually no longer good hosts. He says he doesn't think we were ever good :)

I don't think we were ever fantastic like our friends D & V who really are the most brilliant hosts ever.

For me hospitality is about thoughtfulness and making people feel welcome and at home. They do this in spades.

We felt so taken care of the entire time we stayed with them.

Then there's the other thing - entertaining.

Let's just say I have some issues with entertaining :) I'm not the best cook in the world but I do set a good table which is the most fun for me, and of course, the talking.

I love having deep, meaningful conversations with our friends. And laughing like crazy people about silly things.

Connecting.

I stumbled across a blog called the Reluctant Entertainer recently and she talks about letting go of perfectionism about the house, the food, the table, etc. and just focussing on the people aspect.

I thought, "I can do this" and so I took action and invited an "easy guest" for lunch, my friend, Natalie. That went well.

I ordered Sandy's book too and it arrived yesterday. In all its glossy yumminess :) (there is nothing quite like the smell and feel of a new book)

I'm hoping I will let go of more and more perfectionism around entertaining in a house that's not 100% clean.

Now here's the thing - I have a not-so-easy guest this weekend for lunch. It's an old, old friend but she's a bit of a princess :)

I say that lovingly since I've been telling her this since we were both 17 years old at university.

How do you overcome that spirit of reluctant entertaining when you have a prissy guest?

I don't know. I will just do my thing and too bad if she doesn't like the food.

Are you a good host? Do you enjoy entertaining or is it stressful for you because of perfectionism? Any tips for reluctant entertainers like me?