7 Saturday Snippets

1. I gained 0.4 kg at Weigh-Less this week. I get so annoyed at people who MOAN that they ONLY lost 0.2 or 0.4. Any loss is good for me and even to stay the same would be good at this point.

2. We've just had the most delicious soup. Gosh, I couldn't believe how yummy it was. Recipe below. I'm blogging it as much for me as for you as somehow this combination of ingredients was PERFECT! And I've been slacking on my veg portions because I didn't have enough soup.

Marcia's delicious soup :)

120 g onion
80 g broccoli
200 g carrots
200 g butternut
200 g red lentils
1 can of chopped tomato (400 g)
2 chicken stock cubes
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon crushed garlic
About 1.5 - 2 L water (I just add until it's the correct consistency after I puree all the lumps out)

That's it - I needed no other seasoning - it is PERFECT.

3. We went to visit my friend, Nat, today. Both families were supposed to meet at Jhb Botanical Gardens but it's been hellishly cold here and would not have been pleasant, so we went to their house instead. The last time we were all there was Jan last year. Nat and I get together often by ourselves and have long lunches (if I drank alcohol, it would be like having long, boozy lunches :)) and talk about deep things :) and some nonsense.

But what a difference 16 months makes! We could actually have a conversation while the kids played alongside one another :) and chased the cat. Her babies (even though D1 doesn't think he's a baby anymore) are gorgeous! I can't believe we have 4 babies between us, less than 3 years after meeting! Crazy.

4. I was quite distraught last night. When I checked my email, D had received an "application unsuccessful" email from a place he'd been shortlisted for and we both thought he'd get a job offer from. He is SO disappointed. He really needs to get out of his current place of employment but there are not many jobs going. I would still like to know why as I know he is brilliant (he really is! I'm not just saying that) and they both liked him (from the two interviews). Grrr.

5. I will start showcasing some blogs next week since you all want to see. Warning - your reader is going to become very full as I read TONS of truly excellent and inspiring blogs :) The giveaway is still open. Add your comment and enter.

6. Guess what we're doing tomorrow? My MIL is taking the kids to her house after church (straight from church) and we're coming home to have the house to ourselves. This is D's bright idea because my MIL always says it doesn't matter where the kids are and we say it's easier taking care of them at our house. But as D says, one way or the other we'll find out tomorrow. I hope we don't get a frantic phone call saying, "come fetch them!"


7. Look at this pic. It's the flower each of the ladies got at work for Mother's Day. We also got gorgeous photo frames - mine holds one of my JV photos :) My company is brilliant - they give EVERY woman a gift whether you're a mother or not. It really helped to not feel left out those 4 years we were trying. Anyway, this flower only died today after 3 weeks - I'm very impressed.

See the blurry background? I don't quite know how I got it like that (because I have a point and shoot) but I love it. If I could do it for pics of people I'd be one happy person.

So what are you up to this weekend? If you're in the US, what are your plans for Memorial Day?

I know Heather's preparing for her boys' 2nd birthday party tomorrow but what about the rest of you?

PS I'm still reading my Sophie Kinsella. It's a very strange book - best I go see on Good Reads what other people thought of it.

Arnie and Maria, and affair-proofing your marriage

New post here

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I read this post on Michael Hyatt's blog on Tuesday and found out there for the first time about Arnie and Maria.

(in my view, his is one of the best blogs out there on intentional living, leadership and productivity and also very practical)

To say I am devastated is an understatement.

I could hardly think straight after that.

Ever since I first "met" Maria on Oprah's show, I have loved her.

I love her spunk, her passion, her ideas on child-rearing, etc.


I don't know what happened in their marriage but I have a no-tolerance view of affairs for me/ us.

We were just chatting about it in the office.

When D and I used to be in ministry, we had boundaries for ourselves as pastors, and when I ran the consultants ministry.

There was counselling sessions, meetings with leaders, and the one-on-one assessments.

If a girl had to assess a boy, our rule was that another consultant would be assessing at the same time.

Always, no exceptions.

Same with D and me. When we had leadership meetings, we would never be alone with a person of the opposite sex.

So as to avoid the very appearance of anything inappropriate.

D and I also have rules. We each have one or two work colleagues of the opposite sex we're friendly enough with to have lunch/ coffee/ etc.

We tell each other when we're meeting the friend and always meet in a public place. I have my lunches right here in my work coffee shop in full view of everyone :) He does the same.

Aside from this, we have a rule to not talk to other people about things we really should be discussing with one another.

Do you have boundaries for affair-proofing your marriage?

PS Tomorrow I'm doing a giveaway to celebrate 100 followers
PPS I recently heard from a work friend that her friend who has 8-month-old twins is getting divorced, not due to infidelity but unfortunately due to the stress of having multiples. Sadly, it doesn't even surprise me because it's so hard!

So what do you call your husband/ wife?

I worked for a woman once who sat right next to my desk so I overheard most of her personal conversations.

In those days I worked so hard (I honestly have never worked as hard as I did then - I was definitely overworked and underpaid) that I couldn't even take a quick tea break to avoid all that.

Anyway, she used to say, "hello, Dad" and I'd think how nice.

But when this Dad business carried on and on, I eventually twigged that this was her husband, and not her father.

That's when I vowed never to call D, "Dad".

I call D "D" - it's funny because a lot of my friends do too, and yet no-one else does, except for his sister and our very good friends in London. And Baby (not as often now because of the babies), and D___ when he's not paying attention.

The thing I most call the babies is Pumpkin. It's quite funny when I say, "eat your peas, Pumpkin" or similar things. D laughs at me.

I call K "Baby" and C "Little Guy" other than their names, again a lot of the time when they're not listening (see the pattern???)

So what do you call your husband/ wife? And what do you call your baby(ies)?

Unrequited love

We just had a Valentine's "do" at work.

They'd asked us to leave our love notes in boxes dotted around the building to be read out at lunch time.

Most of them were the usual silliness for some of the hot colleagues (there are two new guys who got quite a lot of love notes :)) but there was this one...

This girl wrote a whole page about how this guy started working with their department on something, how he stops to chat every day and how, if he thinks carefully, he'll know who the letter's from. And that she's been scared to tell him of her feelings or ask him out (as she's not that kind of girl - personally, I say, "go for it"), etc.

Very heartfelt.

I can't stop thinking about this girl.

I hope they get together and that he feels the same way.

So my colleagues and I are walking back and everyone is back to work.

I pipe up, "I can't stop thinking about that girl".

They all laugh and say I'm crazy.

Hmmm.

Yes, I may just have an overactive imagination.

I call it seeing the fun in everyday situations.

What if he thinks it's girl number 2 and it's actually girl number 1? What if he knows who it is and doesn't like her? Or is just really stupid about the whole thing?

What if? What if?

I happen to know the guy in question and will be keeping tabs on it ;)

I only had one unrequited love incident in my life when I was about 14 - 15.

What about you?

A brand new slate

nearly got run over by the car in the middle all in the name of getting a good photo!

Oh, how I love the new year.

Not so much the whole new year's celebration (it is DEAD boring in Jhb - someone please remind me next year to either (1) book a cruise or (2) host a NYE low-key party with friends) but the thought of having a clean slate to start again.

Of course, technically you can do that at anytime, and I often do, but there's nothing quite like a lovely new diary with fresh-smelling new paper, a new calendar to hang on the wall, all squeaky clean and glossy, and of course, a whole list of brand new goals.

I love it!

I was supposed to have lunch with my friend with the twins yesterday at 12 but she bailed and I was happy for that to happen as D and I had an afternoon date with a bookshop.

We are nerds and very proud of it.

So I took her home instead, collected D and off we went for lunch and a bookshop jaunt.

While we were at lunch we talked about our goals for this year.

Do you know what?

Without knowing mine, he said the same thing I said a few days ago - he wants to work on his relationship with me.

I love when we're in sync.

We decided to have two dates a month and already have our dates planned for Jan and Feb, and have already talked to the MIL to come babysit once a month. V will babysit for the second date every month.

D is reluctant to leave the babies so we can travel internationally (even for 5 days) but I'm working on that. He did suggest a 2-day thing locally first to ease into it. I'm all for travel so of course I said yes. (I've walked past a Flight Centre twice in the last two days and had to tear myself away from the Phuket "special" currently on - it's almost a crime not to go!)

At the bookshop I even picked up a book on how to spice things up romantically. Apparently 87% of moms admit they don't have s*x as often as they did before having kids. I'm in good company!

Anyway, back to goals.

I read LauraC's 2010 summary post this morning and I was SO inspired. I love seeing people LIVE BIG and go after their goals, "balls to the wall", as my friend Dee would say.

Laura, you'll be happy to know I categorised my list, I'm ready to make things happen and I'm declaring right now on the 1st Jan that this will be the Best Year Ever!

I don't do resolutions (I have written a whole article on this!) but I do goals.

How about you? Do you do goals? Do you do resolutions?

Share your link in the comments if you blogged about it otherwise go ahead and share in the comments.

Also, if you need help, tell me. Rebecca, I have not forgotten and will write a post on the one goal of yours hopefully this week :)

P.S. Hayley, what did you do for NYE? You always seem to have fun ideas. BTW, we need to make our coffee date :)

P.P.S. Today was a perfect day, weather-wise. GORGEOUS, grey skies. I actually jumped out of the car and made D wait while I took a couple of pics.

My number 1 goal for next year

I spent much of today doing my annual review of my business and personal goals. Sobering stuff but not all bad.

Which is why it's so good to get things down.

My mind had made things worse than they were... maybe I'll share that in another post?

Anyway, my number 1 goal for 2011 is to reconnect properly with D, get our s*x life back and just have our fabulous marriage back where it used to be.

What's your number 1 goal?

Now I'm going to throw out last year's calendar and rubbish on my desk and pretty it up. I deserve a break after all that hard "work", don't I? :)

Confronting my mother

I don't know if there's anybody who LOVES or thrives on confrontation.

I don't mind it but that's because I hate the feeling more of having things unresolved.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, so remember my mother favours Kendra?

After the last incident, D and I decided that either both get something or no-one gets anything.

My brother came up to Jhb for a few days a few weeks ago and after unpacking his stuff, hands me a gift for K from my mother.

First thing I say, "where's Connor's?"

My mother didn't send anything for Connor!

I was incredulous. And gave my brother quite a stern talking-to. In hindsight he didn't deserve it but I said "you're old enough to ask where Connor's present is" and he agreed. But I don't blame him - he doesn't want all that hassle.

So he said he had money from her and instructions to buy some clothes for the babies' birthday.

I told him that he'd "better buy something for Connor first and then get something else" which he did, so technically all is well.

BUT... I need to have a talk to her.

And I'm dreading it. She is highly defensive over anything and will absolutely FREAK out. Either that or she will go all or nothing on me "well then I'll never buy them anything again". I can just hear it.

Why can't life be easy?

But I have to deal with it properly. We tried joking about it in December and that didn't work.

Do any of you have favouritism issues with grandparents and one kid over the other?

We have such a weird relationship. She's intensely private and will not discuss anything properly.

"How are you enjoying your new job?" "It's fine" "Fine how" "Just FINE!" (end of story)

And of course I hate superficial relationships so I find myself frustrated all the time. This is not just with me; she's the same with my siblings.

I think she still sees us as kids and that's why she refuses to engage properly. Strange thing is she has a much better relationship with my cousins than she does with us. Again, very frustrating.

And of course, I've never heard a "I'm proud of you" or anything like that. Something Dr Phil said years ago freed me up totally in this area - he said "sometimes you have to tell yourself what you wish you heard from others". Wise man, that Dr Phil.

What's your relationship like with your mother?