Making life just a little bit pretty

So those of you who were reading last year remember the offer we put in on a house which didn't work out.

We then started painting and fixing things, as you do, and suddenly I realised that we should live in a nice house all the time, not just when we want to sell.

So we started painting and doing things around the house, just for us.

The strange thing is... because we looked around a bit, I suddenly love my house much more than before :)

I also love my really low bond balance and I shared before, this bond will be paid off this year.

How? I don't know but I'm not letting the details worry me.

Anyway, back to the pretty.

I am HUGELY affected by my environment which is why I keep raving about the gorgeous view outside my office window - when I am inspired and the environment is good, I'm happier and more productive.

And so, I love what a fresh coat of paint does for my soul.

Almost everything in this house has received a new coat of paint over the last year and I've just decided that my whole open-plan entrance hall/ lounge/ sunroom area is going grey.

If you did that thing with your mouth, trust me, it's going to be gorgeous - I saw a lovely grey on a blog. I'm too lazy to look it up and link to it but I have a mental image stored. (Am I the only one who makes mental notes and stores mental images?)

Small touches around the house that are currently done include:

• getting the canvases printed
• putting pictures in the gazillion frames I keep buying
• buying and displaying 3 of those wooden word things (from Home Etc) - family, friends, dream
• getting free prints on the internet printed in colour, framed and up on my walls
  

All this stuff is a mindset shift for me. I'm usually about the quick and easy but I decided that I need to honour my goals and dreams, and my workspace.

I usually type out my monthly goals on a template I designed and stick them up on my wall in front of my desk with a piece of prestik so I am focussed the entire month.

For Feb, I printed in A4, reduced the size to 51% and put it in a beautiful and happy photo frame right on my desk.

Still in my face but just prettier. It literally took about 2 minutes to copy and cut, and put in the frame.

Of course, my love affair with Etsy helps my new prettier mindset very easily.

I'm trying not to spend too much but unfortunately I don't have the crafty/ repurpose and make pretty gene so have to pay for pretty.

I'll take some pics one of these days and post them but tonight I had to prepare a talk that I'm giving tomorrow (can't wait!) so no time.


Do you have regular plans to pretty your environment, or do you generally live pretty? Or don't you really care? And if you have a favourite blog that inspires you, please share in the comments.


P.S. Today is my beautiful friend, Suzanne's birthday. Suzanne is a blog friend from Arizona (now a real friend) who met up with D & me in Scotland. It was as fantastic as it sounds - ice-cold and beautiful with a good friend - what more can you ask for? Anyway, Suzanne used to joke (I think?) and call herself the Goddess of All Things Beautiful so this post is inspired by her!

So what do you call your husband/ wife?

I worked for a woman once who sat right next to my desk so I overheard most of her personal conversations.

In those days I worked so hard (I honestly have never worked as hard as I did then - I was definitely overworked and underpaid) that I couldn't even take a quick tea break to avoid all that.

Anyway, she used to say, "hello, Dad" and I'd think how nice.

But when this Dad business carried on and on, I eventually twigged that this was her husband, and not her father.

That's when I vowed never to call D, "Dad".

I call D "D" - it's funny because a lot of my friends do too, and yet no-one else does, except for his sister and our very good friends in London. And Baby (not as often now because of the babies), and D___ when he's not paying attention.

The thing I most call the babies is Pumpkin. It's quite funny when I say, "eat your peas, Pumpkin" or similar things. D laughs at me.

I call K "Baby" and C "Little Guy" other than their names, again a lot of the time when they're not listening (see the pattern???)

So what do you call your husband/ wife? And what do you call your baby(ies)?

MIL & other Friday updates

I am definitely not 2kg lighter - there is something wrong with that scale :)

Thanks for all the support on the new blog.

And, sadly, the great romance is not to be. I heard yesterday that he knows who it is and is not into her. Poor girl.

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Okay, so remember this post about how little time my MIL spends with the babies?

Well, I've always said the comments are GOLD - if you don't read the comments, you really should :)

What I like to do is subscribe to the comments of posts I'm interested in on blogs I read and blogger conveniently sends them to me by email. Because I almost never go back on a blog to check what other people have to say.

Anyway, a dear reader emailed me rather than posting in the comments because she had such a lot to say. Rachel often does this and I love emailing back and forth with her - she is very wise and totally not cared about what people think which I always love.

I asked her if I could share and she was okay with it. I have removed personal bits about her family. The V is broken on her keyboard :)

Read this:

just read the question about the MIL. Some things to consider, she might not be a "toddler person" just like you are not an "infant person".

Also, just from experience, L (Rachel's baby) is totally NOT a people person. T's parents see her weekly or more at church, and ha^e interacted with her since birth - yet she still cries if either of them pick her up, will hide her face, or stare at them stoicly. When we go to their house, it sometimes takes an hour for her to "warm up", less time if they come here.

On the other hand, she sees my dad (who li^es next door) almost daily, and still often gi^es him the "cold shoulder" for 10 minutes or so before warming up. Based on the e^ents at Preschool (and other things you ha^e said) - I would guess Connor may not gi^e granma much more than a passing glance (e^entually, he will grow out of it - somewhere between 2 1/2 and 4 - as he remembers e^ents after they happen, so that each encounter is built on the one before rather than seeming like a brand new experience for him each time) and that's not totally great for a Gramma ego.

On the other hand, Kendra appears to be more of a social butterfly. If Gramma is not into toddlers, her constant chatter and attention may seem like hours after only 30 minutes. This doesn't mean that she doesn't want to see them ... it just means she feels exhausted because she isn't in rhythm with them. E^entually, they will get to know each other and she will make her ^isits longer, and if she doesn't, she may be trying to force herself into a mould of what she expects a "granma to be" rather than being herself.

How many kids did she raise? How "hands on" of a mom was she? She may not know how to beha^e because of how strict you are with them ... as in, it's not the way she thinks, so for her it's like being in the ocean to swim, when she's use to being in a backyard pool. E^en a good swimmer from a pool, will find themsel^es tired after being in the ocean for a short while. ... and on the other hand, If you are use to the ocean ... a backyard pool may seem boring and tame.

(Think about her personality ... and allow her to be herself. And remember, she raised the guy you lo^e ... she must of done something right. Right?)

I love, love, love this email because it challenged me to be more open-minded.

My MIL raised two kids WITH a lot of help even though she was SAHM. She is not a very hands-on person at the best of times and prefers to read rather than do anything else.

I do know she was a little miffed when Connor wouldn't kiss her at Christmas............ even after I told her he won't kiss us either (now he's Mr Kissy himself... slightly worrying).

She is definitely an I so I'm sure the kids' constant talking would drain her.

Speaking of I's, my friend, Nat, is constantly amazed at how much my kids talk and she said, "it's probably because you talk so much to them. D and I can play for hours without talking" LOL - I love it :)

I don't think our strictness is a deterrent as she likes to know exactly when to do what - I was told to leave detailed notes for her and she texts me if she's unsure :)

The best thing Rachel said was this - Think about her personality ... and allow her to be herself.

Amen!

Thank you, Rachel, for being honest and for challenging me. I appreciate you.

There were TONS of comments from people with similar stories on my original post - does Rachel's email help you too?

P.S. Blackhuff, can you somehow attach your email to your comments? I can't reply back to you but I so appreciate hearing from you!

A sliver of hope

Hope is such a wonderful thing - it can perk you up when things feel blah and dull.

Yesterday I went into the pause area we share with two other departments on this floor and this one lady, who is known for her tactlessness, rubbed her tummy, looked at me with eyes raised and said meaningfully, "how ARE you?"

I was very insulted and said, "no, A, I'm not pregnant" and off I stormed.

(it is funny now I think about it but at the time I was miffed)

Then my lovely friend, Natalie, came to have a coffee with me (why do we say "coffee" when we actually drank water? Lest you think we're saints, we had carrot cake and a muffin) and she told me that I was looking lovely (thinner) and lots of other nice things.

So I cheered up a bit.

But then, last night after my Zumba class at the gym, I went to weigh myself on those machines that take your BP and body fat too.

This is my weekly ritual so that I have a record of my weight progress.

And............ the scale read 59.8.

It must have been a mistake as that is 2 kg less than I actually weigh.

So I jumped off and got on again.

Still 59.8.

I still think that scale was faulty but it was a lovely little glimmer of hope to keep pressing on toward my health and fitness goals.

Also, my calves are already looking better and my arms are slightly less flabby!

What do you need to feel hopeful about today? Share in the comments.

P.S. I'm going to be in a real print book on motherhood (who would have thought?!) that will come out in May. I wrote my piece last night, D is editing it and I will submit tonight.

Wordless Wednesday - Courage

my word of the year - wearing it for the first time today

I LOVE this print! Love it!

The most unsatisfying social ever

I just had a friend over for coffee (well, actually we had tea) and pancakes (have I told you I make good pancakes?).

It was very unsatisfying and I just figured out why - we spoke about her the entire time.

Oh, except for right at the beginning when I let her in because I told her the kids had just gone to sleep and told her a little bit of the drama.

Okay, I'll tell you too.

D usually arrives at 6 or just thereafter but these days because the babies are so cute, he's been leaving on time and getting home about 5 minutes before 6.

The babies are now used to it and will not sleep til he is home and they have played.

Today he went to get nappies on the way home and didn't get home til 6:30.

I'd just gone back in to quieten them again as they were jumping around like crazy people when we all heard the gate.

K pops up, saying, "Daddy?" and C starts wailing, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" as if I'm keeping him prisoner.

I hauled him out of his cot (I can't stand the screaming, remember?) and took him to D who was just coming through the door.

Tears streaming down his face, he leapt into D's very full arms.

So they played for another 15 mins with Daddy and then went to sleep.... 45 minutes later than actual bed time.

Anyway, don't you hate that?

I just hate when conversations are one-sided. In fact, it's one of my pet peeves.

I asked D when he got home from gym, "am I really the most boring person ever?" He says no :)

Then, still talking about connecting...

Last week I read The Most Fantastic Blog Post Ever (I won't link because I commented under my whole, full name) about social media.

Julia, I will send it to you though :)

The one thing that stood out to me was this - the reason some of us squander time on Facebook/ Twitter/ blogs (for me, it's blogs) is because something is happening in our real lives .

We may be avoiding something. We may be feeling insecure and need validation from others.

And then, this one was for me...we may be trying to find connection because we're not connecting with others enough during the day.

That bit jumped out at me and bit me on the bum.

That is exactly me - I am not getting all I need in terms of connection (one of my top 5 values is connection) so I try to fill this void through my crazy obsession with blogging, commenting on blogs, etc.

If you don't comment, I suppose you have a deep need to be a voyeur in someone's life :)

Hmmm - does that resonate with anyone?

And about my friend, what would you do?

Just leave it and accept that this is a one-sided conversation, or what? It does happen often.

Thing is, she is good about being there for you if you need something. If I need her, she will be there.

• When the babies were still little, she brought us food one night because we were so tired.
• For my first media thing (magazine story), she was there helping me with hair/ make-up/ clothes, etc.
• She collects mail when we're on holiday.
  

She's just a bit selfish where conversation is concerned :)

Please tell me about some of your friendship issues!

Showing myself some love

Sooooooooo, it's Valentine's Day.

Clearly most people are a-crafting and a-baking because the internet is quiet except for all things Valentine.

My big question with all the seasonal decor is always this - WHERE oh WHERE do you store all these things?

I am the only one wearing red today (a red jacket over a black skirt and top - I have one other red item of clothing and of course, all those red bags!), D and the babies are in normal clothes, although K is in hot pink, so I think that counts.

Last week I wore a red skirt and jacket that I actually love but...

I was so uncomfortable the entire day (I kept tugging at the skirt to pull it down) and then eventually I remembered - hey! one of the items on my list is to only wear clothes that make me feel good, so out they went.

I'm thinking of it as "I showed myself love that day".

Well, today I showed myself some more love by finally starting another private blog, Marcia Unplugged :)

If you want to read along (first post is up), leave me your email address and I'll add you but please only people I don't know in real life.

How did you show yourself love today (or this weekend)?

Unrequited love

We just had a Valentine's "do" at work.

They'd asked us to leave our love notes in boxes dotted around the building to be read out at lunch time.

Most of them were the usual silliness for some of the hot colleagues (there are two new guys who got quite a lot of love notes :)) but there was this one...

This girl wrote a whole page about how this guy started working with their department on something, how he stops to chat every day and how, if he thinks carefully, he'll know who the letter's from. And that she's been scared to tell him of her feelings or ask him out (as she's not that kind of girl - personally, I say, "go for it"), etc.

Very heartfelt.

I can't stop thinking about this girl.

I hope they get together and that he feels the same way.

So my colleagues and I are walking back and everyone is back to work.

I pipe up, "I can't stop thinking about that girl".

They all laugh and say I'm crazy.

Hmmm.

Yes, I may just have an overactive imagination.

I call it seeing the fun in everyday situations.

What if he thinks it's girl number 2 and it's actually girl number 1? What if he knows who it is and doesn't like her? Or is just really stupid about the whole thing?

What if? What if?

I happen to know the guy in question and will be keeping tabs on it ;)

I only had one unrequited love incident in my life when I was about 14 - 15.

What about you?

Quick update on the Nutren Jnr

Remember my one concern about the new milk for the babies?

It wasn't just cost.

Kendra refuses to drink any more than what she always was drinking. In fact, she's drinking less milk, I think because she's getting fuller from the Nutren.

Before she'd have 150 ml full cream in the mornings, now she leaves 20 - 40 ml every morning. At night she is taking 100 - 110 ml, the same as she'd had before.

We've tried giving extra bottles during the day - she will not take it (we persisted for about 4 days before I emailed the dietitian).

My default style is not to worry about these things and carry on with the food as before (as they are such good eaters) but I wanted to find out if I was being too blase about it.

K is a smart cookie; if she senses that her eating (or drinking) is important to us, she gets picky about the food. I didn't want to turn her off her milk totally so I even say "should I give this to Connor?" and she is definitely done because she says "yes" :)

So I emailed the dietitian and here is her email response:

Nutren junior or PediaSure will definitely make your kids fuller (it’s a complete meal replacement).

To cut costs, you can give half milk requirement as Nutren and the other as full cream milk. It is always a skill to get the right balance of giving enough nutritional support without affecting the eating or making an issue of drinking/eating more to catch up weight.

I wouldn’t give Kenda any more bottles if she is not happy to drink it. Give her what she can take without causing a fuss.

Totally agree with this.

I am doing their morning and bedtime bottles with Nutren. For cereal and cooking (and custard in winter - mmm, can't wait), I use full cream.

Connor is easily having 500 ml or more a day, 350ml of that is Nutren and Kendra has about the same as before (400 ml) but 250ml of that is Nutren.



I updated their spreadsheet with the latest weights and calculated where they should be in 2 months when we see Dr S again. So we're working towards it but not stressing unduly, which I think is the healthy way to do things anyway.

Do you ever worry about your children's eating?

P.S. I had a lady come up to me in the shops to ask me about baby formula, etc. Clearly I looked like I knew what I was doing? Maybe because I had the babies with me?

Mummy, wake up!

I've mentioned before that D has the early shift with the babies since 5:30 feels like the middle of the night for me.

He gives them their bottles and most days they settle in for another lie-in and then the three of them get up at around 6:15 - 6:30.

I sleep til V arrives at 7:30 and on weekends, D lets me sleep til about 7:50, just enough time to wake up and go make their breakfast, unless it's oats, in which case he makes it.

We are still using the notebook and every evening I write down all the meals for the next day so he knows.

He is awesome, isn't he?

Anyway, so by the time I wake, the kids are wide awake, have had their nappies changed and are wearing their clothes for the day (I set these out too) so they're all perky early birds around their sound asleep mother.

D then lets them come into our bedroom to wake me.

This is how they do it:

Kendra immediately goes to fetch my flip flops (or slippers) and brings them to me, dumps them on my shoulders and says, "Mummy!!!! Shoes, shoes!"

She is obsessed with shoes and doesn't even like me to walk barefoot in the house. Most times I humour her but sometimes it is just too hot!

Connor heads straight for my bedside table and takes my two rings in the one hand and my glasses in the other and comes to dump them on my face, saying, "Mammy! (it went from Mum-mum-mum to Ninnie to Mimi to Mammy (he's a little Irish boy!) - he's enjoying trying out different sounds all the time now - and then he makes kissy sounds.

It is so cute I can't stand it - my heart literally feels like it wants to break from joy.

So yes I have 4 little hands in my face (I can't stand people touching my face normally) but all in all, not a bad way to wake up every morning.

P.S. D and I had a lovely lunch today - the talking, that is - and "quickly" dashed into CNA (stationery store - my weakness) for elastic bands (I will share my little project when I make some more) where I emerged with R250 worth of stationery. I am baaaaaad. But I do like pretty!

P.P.S. If anyone South African is interested in that s*x book, I've just listed my copy on Kalahari.net for R70 plus postage (around R30). Contact me if you want to buy it.

Getting unstuck with Mondo, business bits and bobs, & Valentine's

I have been behind on my Mondo Beyondo stuff since a certain lesson two weeks ago.

I just got stuck and couldn't move.

I then chatted with my coach today (who has also done Mondo). Interestingly enough she got stuck at the same place and we are very different people.

Even more interesting, just the fact that I talked about it for a good 5 mins made me want to revisit the Mondo work.

So I did tonight.

I've just spent 3 hours "catching up". Now people on the forum said to just "be" and "marinate" and other such passive things that don't work for me. I'm a take action kind of gal.

And so I did. I read everything and commented on nearly every single lesson.

And guess what? someone wrote something that hit me between the eyes. They wrote the very thing that unlocked my being stuck.

I finally got why that lesson bothered me so much. I couldn't figure it out from the obvious but it's the hidden things.

Isn't that fantastic?

When I'm stuck, I basically become paralysed and need to figure things out (often with a coach) so I can take acion. Taking action always gets me moving again.

How do you get going when you're stuck with things, decisions, actions in your life?

One of the lessons was to look at your list and look for trends (they called it something else but that's basically it).

Mine all centred around being recognised for achievements, living a simpler life and travel. Oh, lots and lots of travel. Nearly a third of the list is travel.

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In other news, one of my current clients told me that she wants extra coaching time. She was already on my most expensive coaching package so I am now officially being paid the most I've ever earned in my life.

MONDO! Best year ever.

It's not the money, it's what it represents - people recognising my expertise.

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I also signed up a new client today - she asked for a quote yesterday and today phoned back. When I was about to discuss packages, she said, "oh the money is not an issue. I just need your help desperately" :) love it!

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Also, I finally got a dvd from the tv show. Now I need to figure out how to upload just my snippet to YouTube and then I'll email you the link, Deanna. And anyone else who wants to see it.

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I worked so well at work today and then again with the personal trainer that I am now absolutely finished, so off to bed.


Tomorrow D and I are going out for lunch, without babies, while V babysits, and then on Sunday afternoon we're going for a movie while MIL babysits. I hope she copes.

That's our Valentine's celebration. We don't do expensive gifts - living a simpler life and all that jazz...

To those who say you can celebrate your love any day, I'm going to ask, well, do you really? We all need opportunities to celebrate love.

So what are you doing? And if you're single, what are you going to do to love yourself?

P.S. whenever you see gorgeous pics of us, it's all thanks to Jeanette :)

A successful lunch

Thank you for your fantastic comments and the emails on the s*x post. I laughed so loud at some of them and wow - some of you are doing very well at 3 X a week (tell your partners how lucky they are!!!)

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On Sunday after church we whizzed all the way to The Flowerspot to see if they had some things to pretty up my life.

I came out with 4 rolls of satin ribbon and 2 packs of brown paper bags. I just can’t seem to resist brown paper bags.

They’re just so useful as a quick gift bag and if you add a nice bright ribbon, they look very pretty.

D and I decided on the way over that we’d eat lunch out since it would be 1 pm and my kids are very punctual with the eating and sleeping (they impose it on us, not the other way around).

It would be cute if it weren’t so annoying sometimes. Kendra comes to us and signs that she’s hungry and then Connor follows suit. On the bright side, at least they sign and don’t just scream, right?

So we went to the Mugg and Bean and I’d organised the high chairs and ordered their meals before D and Kendra even got to the table :)

They had a meal called a Funny Face which is French toast in the shape of a circle, a sausage (for the smile) and bits of grated cheese for the hair.

Connor polished off his food and then started on mine.

Kendra also ate most of hers (about 90%) and then we gave the remainders to Connor.

D and I were incredulous (someone said to me the other day, “who says incredulous?” I said, “I DO!”) at how well-behaved they were.

We’d stopped taking them out for about 2 months after a disastrous lunch at Nino’s where they literally FLUNG pizza off their high chairs. D hates being embarrassed and it was BAD.

I don’t enjoy the bad behaviour but I do know I don’t have the naughtiest kids around so I'm quite relaxed about it.

We discussed our definition for success eating out as a family and came up with these three things:

· The children don’t whine and moan
· They eat at least 80% of their food
· Quick service

Isn't it amazing how low your expectations go?

What are your definitions for successful eating out?

P.S. Go read this fantastic post on eating out with twins. This was us for so long it's laughable only because we seem to be coming out of it. I wanted to link it as the blog post of the week on the multiples blog but that weekend they had some other link party.

So, the s*x thing

click the pic for the Amazon review

We've spoken before about how it seems near impossible to have s*x regularly.

It's a combination of low libido, perpetual tiredness and a little bit of "no time".

I don't really believe the last one because you make time for things that are important to you.

So, my big goal this year is to get my relationship with D back in tip-top shape - I feel the biggest gift you can give a child is to have a healthy, happy marriage. It's so easy to let things slide if you're not intentional about working on your relationship.

I saw a book called "We should do this more often" - Lorilee Craker. The subtitle says, "a parents' guide to romance, passion, and other prechild activities you vaguely recall".

Of course I bought it.

And it was great.

It basically reinforced the idea that s*x is very important in a marriage, and I'd say having enough of it!

Dr Phil often says (or he used to when I could still watch TV at night) that if you're having regular, good s*x, then it's only about 10% of the relationship but if you're not having s*x, then it becomes 100%.

So true.

She acknowledges that sometimes all we want to do is sleep but that s*x is very necessary and fun too :)

There's a lot of practical things to do to and advice from real women.

The three things that stood out to me and that got a sticky note are:

• 87% of moms are having less sex now than before kids
• After seeing to the kids' needs, couples then pour their leftover energy into doing their own thing (she wrote scrapbooking or shopping; I could say blogging!) instead of working on their relationships.
• You need to schedule s*x - it then starts to be something you anticipate - and sometimes you just need to do it. A quickie is as good as anything else - the laundry will wait.
• and my best.... go to bed n*ked!

She also said that it's important to go away as a couple. From the time the kids are 18 months old, a week with Grandma will be good for kids - I don't think she meant twins but it's at least something to aim for :)

So what are your tips for doing IT more often? I'm always looking for good ideas.

Anybody up for some Crazy Love?

A few weeks ago Deanna posted goals for the year and said she was looking for someone to do a devotion or similar with this year.

Since I always think my spiritual life could do with work, I told her I'm up for it.

We've decided on Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The subtitle is "overwhelmed by a relentless God" which I love as that is my perception of God too.

Image taken from the official website

This is a New York Times bestseller and how could you not love a red book?

(or is that just me?)

The foreword's by Chris Tomlin, my favourite worship leader in the world. His voice is SO yummy :)

Here is a blurb taken from the website? (I need to hire that copywriter because I'm hooked!)

Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don'ts — it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same.

Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.

Anyway, I thought I would throw this out there as it will be fun and will provide some support and encouragement to read together.

So who's in? All you need is the book (buy from CUM books, Gospel Direct or Exclusive Books in South Africa) and a computer. I may even be persuaded to do a vlog (!) but don't hold me to it.

Deanna, I'm so glad you asked for a partner on your blog!

Infertility sucks, big time, and a question about adoption

I've had 4 baby/ non-baby talks with people recently.

1) at work we were talking about adoption and a colleague was saying about how she'd like to do it one day to help underprivileged babies.

Which freaks me out, big time.

Another joined in... same story... how it's such a good thing to do FOR THE BABIES.

So I pipe up (because I just can't keep my mouth shut) and say, "is it REALLY for the babies? Because if I had to adopt I would totally do it for ME!"

Silence... confusion... questioning looks

I explained that a baby would add to my life. Yes, maybe it would improve some kid's life but my motivation in doing it would totally be for me, and therefore selfish.

And aren't all people the same?

They said no.

I left it (fortunately I did actually have work to do) but I did say, "maybe it's different when you're infertile like I am!"

And we laughed and that was that.


2) A dear reader of this blog, A, has been emailing with me for the last couple of months since she was diagnosed as infertile.

She just went through her first IVF and it was negative.

She is understandably devastated (as am I) and when she told me she couldn't stop crying, oh, it took me back to my first failed IVF.

Terrible.

A, I'm thinking of you every day!


3) Very dear friends of ours who live in London are also battling. They've had at least one miscarriage that we know of.

She wrote me a beautifully heartfelt email and again, my heart broke. How they were at a party and a lady asked which child is hers, and then proceeded to give her advice on getting pregnant.

And how they've finally painted over the Winnie the Pooh mural in the baby's room.

I started crying when I read that.

I still haven't answered the email because I don't want to be flippant.

We love them so much and they would make the best parents, honestly.


4) Other friends of ours, this time in Ireland, commented on old pics of us when we were in Ireland with them saying we should do this again.

We said, "YOU should come HERE this time" or something to that effect and he said he needed to email us.

D then sent an email (you don't want everything on the internet, do you? :)) and asked if there was a bun in the oven.

And there is.

I am so, so happy for them.

They're not married and this is a surprise (!) but he's been wanting kids for the last 7 years (there's a story about him and previous gf breaking up because of this stuff...). I don't know how she feels because she's young (32) and gorgeous and a party-goer of note :)

So I'm happy for them but the "oops" ones always stab me a bit in the heart, especially hearing about it the day after receiving the email in (3).

Coming back to the adoption issue - how do you feel?

I'm on my way to the poor house

My friend, M, who I met in the NICU, has lots of issues with her daughter, M.

I think she sees the physio, occupational therapist, speech therapist, dietician, normal paed and a neurologist on a regular basis. She's the one who had 11 appts in a 3-week period last month.

Baby M sees the same dietician that we saw - not surprising as we're with the same paed.

Anyway, so I phoned (!) her and asked her where the best place was to get the Pediasure/ Nutrigen.

She said either Baby City or Dischem.

On Saturday all of us set out to a shopping centre to buy this stuff.

Baby City only had Pediasure in 400 and 900g cans, no Nutrigen.

So off to Dischem (ginormous pharmacy franchise) and they had both. The nutrigen was 79% of the price (when I'm exact like this, I think of MandyH :)) of the Pediasure so I took everything on the shelf.

All 12 cans.

12 400g cans @ R75 a can = R900

Can number 1 lasted until today after morning cereals.

2.5 days.

I then divided 2.5 into a 30-day month and that comes to .... 12 cans.

Pure coincidence.

But what this means is that in a good month, we'll spend R900 on Nutrigen (which, please note, is the cheaper option).

In our worst days of buying formula for the babies, we never spent more than R765 (I checked my spreadsheet :)) and we got 20% back on our credit card the following month, which will not happen now since this is not a partner store.

So I'm freaking out a bit. At the cost and at all the cans littering my kitchen!

Is it bad to give them the Nutrigen in their bottles and still use normal milk for their cereals? I may save about R300...

We were using 1 L full cream milk a day which works out to R240 for the month. So you can see why I'm freaking out at R900!

What do you spend on milk for your baby (ies) in a month?

Sunday senses, a recipe and a menu plan

Well, well, I'm doing a meme just for the fun of it. And to make Rebecca happy :)

Sight
A lovely, tidy room (study) marred by D's messy desk (I am banned from "helping him" although I want to throw all his paper in the bin.

Hearing
the hum of this old computer, me tapping away on the keyboard and .... silence :) If I strain my ears I can hear the TV in the lounge

Touch
Warm air on my legs and the cool plate on my legs where I'm balancing my supper.

Taste
Chicken salad - recipe below

Smell
Mayonnaise! And the smell of summer through the open windows.

This is my healthy chicken salad recipe

20 g onion, 40 g mushrooms, 40 g broccoli = 1 veg on Weigh Less
100 g deboned, skinless chicken, chopped into cubes = 1 medium protein
140g cooked pasta = 2 complex carbohydrates
1/2 medium Granny Smith apple = 0.5 fruit
50g cooked kidney beans = 0.5 low fat protein
1 tablespoon mayonnaise = 1 fat

I stir fry the veg and chicken in 2 drops of oil and water, transfer to a bowl, add the rest of the stuff, mix it all up and scoop onto a plate. Add ground chilli flakes if you like a bit of kick, salt and pepper to taste - I hardly have any salt but pepper is my friend.

Then I refrigerate for about 30 minutes - I like it nice and cold - and then enjoy :)

You can use any veggies you like - I've used carrots, cucumber, etc. It is delicious and I don't notice that I'm hardly having any pasta...

While we're talking about food, here is my menu for the week:

Monday
Chicken and broccoli, with rice

Tuesday
Baked potatoes with bolognaise sauce (this should end all my frozen portions)

Wednesday
M - tuna and rice bake, salad
D - Hawaiian chicken

Thursday
Chicken pasta salad (this time I'll use lentils)

Friday
Burgers and salad (I know the more observant of you will have noticed I have this on my menu every Friday. I still have not actually made this because we end up finishing foods in the fridge, or not wanting this, etc.)

That chicken pasta salad is a favourite around here in summer (except the babies don't eat mayonnaise - I also went off mayonnaise while I was pregnant...) and I made some tonight because we've had it a grand total of 3 times this summer. Totally unacceptable for something that good.

What are some of your favourite meals to cook? :)

P.S. Coming up this week - I need to blog about the new milk, a very successful lunch today, the s*x book and how I'm prettying up my life :) I'm going to blog the organising projects on the other blog - leave me your email if you want that blog info.

Do you also make a list of things to blog about?

P.P.S I'm 36 and a half today. Only 6 months left to finish my 36 things list.

Not so perky

I met the new personal trainer yesterday and had my first session with her.

Her name's Sara, by the way.

And... thankfully she is not as perky as she appeared on the phone.

She is VERY young though (around 22 - I will ask as I get more comfortable with her) and full of energy.

I sent her the goals I'd sent through before but amended them slightly to be a bit more specific. And this time I took out all mentions of me doing yoga :)

She weighed me and............. I've lost 1.9 kg in the 11 days since I'd last been weighed.

I can't really see it but my pants have felt more loose.

Onwards and upwards :)

4 sessions down; 20 to go (or at least that's what I'm telling myself) to get to all my goals.

Although I am loving working out with someone pushing and challenging me.

I'm such a group person that I've never been able to work out by myself because I find it dead boring.

But with her next to me and us chatting ... and her encouragement - it feels totally different.

And of course, I'm not tempted to slack off because I think of my thin (Thailand) self and push through.

I can see how some people become addicted to working with a personal trainer. Really I can.

There's a lady who works at our company (mid-forties) who has a truly
GORGEOUS body. Good legs, b**bs, and toned, but not overly so.

Apparently she'd been training with personal trainer number 1, 3 times a
week for the last year.

I tried to justify it and said to him, "she's been thin way before
that" but I get that the reason she continues with him is so she doesn't ever
slack off. And can keep that gorgeous, toned body.

The only thing that puts me off is spending all that money.

BUT I have to remind myself that I'm getting results and I wasn't doing that before even though I knew how to do all the exercises.

And that is worth every single rand.

I suppose it's like when people coach with me - some of the things they do know to do, they're just not doing it. Like my two clients writing their books. They have the expertise, I just coach them around working their time better and so on... and those books are done.

I think it's because if you know you're paying, you're going to darn well do all your homework and you will get results :)

And now I need to go make a salad to go with the tuna and rice bake I made earlier :)

***********************

Oh, I do a thing on the organising blog where I choose 4 organising tasks for the month (one per weekend). They can be small things like tidy up a pile of paper or bigger things like sorting through the babies' summer or winter clothes or even the dreaded decluttering your wardrobe.

Whatever takes your fancy.

So who's joining me? Write a post on your blog and set your intention with the 4 tasks. And then do one small thing this weekend.

Tomorrow I will post my "after" pics (because I forgot to take "before" pics) and you can all link up.

And now I really need to go make that salad!

P.S. I wanted to post a pic but I'm on the slowest computer in the world as mine is at the computer place and I am pulling out my hair.........

Good rushing

I seem to have days at work where there are only 1 or 2 short meetings the whole day, and then there are those days like Wed and yesterday where I have literally 6 hours of meetings in a row.

Which just kills me because there's no time to action all those discussion points ...

Yesterday I had meetings from 1 - 4:30 and then rushed home, put babies to bed after supper and baths, and rushed out again to the other side of the world. Literally.

That was a good rush, though.

It was our fertility babies supper at my friend, Roz's house.

We were supposed to be 8 girls but 3 cancelled at the last minute.

Still, I always believe that the ones who are meant to be there will be there.

And we were.

I can't speak for them but I had a wonderful time seeing all my friends and Roz's one twin, E, who was up and about with us for about 30 mins. There's a pic of the two of them right on the bottom of this post.

I love seeing mothers interacting with their kids in their homes - there's a different feeling to it, don't you find?

I even got to meet her nanny!!!

The food was also lovely...

chicken lasagne

salad and breadrolls

and a delicious chocolate pudding with custard (which sounds really good right NOW as I'm hungry)

Those are the pics of the table - wasn't it stunning? The one of the glass is my favourite pic.

I always feel like my tank's all filled up after I get together with friends in person.

Social media is kind of wonderful (I say kind of because I'm still not totally convinced that it doesn't just lead to overwhelm) but there's still nothing like connecting in-person with friends.

And bonus! I only got lost once :) Roz's directions were absolutely perfect (don't you love good directions?!) but coming home, there was a huge accident on the highway and I was a bit shaken by all the cars involved and missed my exit.

Fortunately I've made that mistake once before so I knew how to get home from taking the next exit.

What are your plans for the weekend?

We are going to spend a fortune on Pediasure (yes, I'm a slacker mother for only bothering to get it this weekend. I'm at peace with my slacker tendencies).

All pictures taken by Roz.

So, the paediatric dietician and Big, Hairy, Travel dreams

We had the appointment with the dietician yesterday to discuss the children's eating and weight "issues".

I only made one appointment because I am cheap and practical - I reasoned that anything she said I would be applying to both of them anyway.

Right?

D was not so sure about my frugality (hey - I have a bond to settle this year :)) so I texted the lady and said, "which baby should I bring? the smaller one or the one who has lost the most weight?"

She said as long as I have their growth charts, I don't need to bring either of them.

But we took Connor since he is the baby who lost the most weight and has never, up until now, had an issue.

Kendra has been a skinny little thing from the get go.

She was lovely (I will tell you later how she is my favourite person at the moment) and set us at ease.

I'll admit to having a bit of a chip on my shoulder going in.... I am nothing if not self-aware.

Anyway, we discussed their eating habits, what times they eat, and how much, and the variety of foods, etc, etc. (I brought two of the notebooks with me to help jog my memory) and how much milk, what kind they drink, etc.

Therein lies the problem.

They are apparently drinking too little milk! They have 250 - 300 ml a day. Plus another 125 - 150 ml in cereal when they don't have oats.

And she said they probably should have stayed on formula past the 12-month mark. They are on full cream cow's milk.

I am not even thinking about how all these experts differ in opinion as I do NOTHING without Dr S's say-so.

Moving along.

She wants them on 500 ml of milk daily. But... Pediasure or Nutrigen (sp?) Junior, not cow's milk.

That's when I was pleased I didn't bring baby 2 for a second consultation fee :)

Then onto their eating.

Well... their eating is perfect.

Surprisingly so for toddlers.

And then she said the thing which makes her my current favourite person.

"You should write a book"

We both laughed.

"I'm absolutely serious," she said, "your kids eat really well and you're clearly doing things in a really good way"

Oh, I beamed.

Hopefully she doesn't say that to all the moms.

Also, she's also a mom of twins (4-year-old girls) but like you, Cat, a singleton and then twins.

She said at the end of the appointment that this is still a really hard stage - apparently from 3, it's all sunshine and roses :)

I, of course, said, "NOTHING could ever EVER be as bad as the newborn stage"

Oh, by the way, Connor has gained a lot of weight this month already - he is now exactly 11 kg. Up from 10.63 kg on 7 Jan.

We see her again in 3 months time at which point I am certain we will be back on the growth curve track.... right?

*******************

These pics are still from the beach shoot. I like to look at things that make me happy and the beach makes me happy.

One of my Mondo dreams is to live on the beach for a month... right on the beach, no faffing around with cars and sand in cars (hate!) ... I said to MandyH I would have to take V or rent a nanny to make it truly relaxing :)

To make it a true BHAD, I would go to Thailand.... mmmmm.

What is just ONE of your Big, Hairy, Audacious TRAVEL Dreams?

P.S. To see some Thailand pics, go look at my travel blog header - francoisfamily dot blogspot dot com :)