Parenting advice from my friend Julia

Oooh, thanks again for leaving such nice comments on Louisa's parenting advice last week.

Next up, some advice from my friend, Julia.

Interesting thing to note but both Louisa and Julia claim to be INFP....if memory serves me correctly :)

1. Understand that just like no two adults are the same, no two kids are the same either.  Get to know your child/ren and respect them as individuals.   This obviously means that they will have different needs.  Where it is reasonably possible, work WITH them and their quirks and not AGAINST them – otherwise you’re going to be a very miserable parent. 
2. Kids do not always have the ability to express themselves in an emotionally mature manner and they don’t always know how to use their words effectively. Sometimes they will act out. Sometimes they may become a bit quiet.  Listen to what it is that they are NOT saying and read between the lines. 
3. Think long-term. Ask yourself: “how will I feel if my child does xyz or abc in public.”  Ask yourself: “what is the long-term implication of my child doing xyz at this moment”.  Ask yourself: “what message am I sending my child if I do xyz or abc.”

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I've never seen Julia with her kids but I know from how she writes and talks about them that at least some of her parenting superpowers are:

1. she is a fierce mama-bear advocate
2. she's very mindful of what's right for them (whether society feels differently)
3. she celebrates their uniqueness

Over to you!

What do you do to parent for the long term?

PS One of our values has always been to raise independent kids, so from the time they were itty-bitty babies, we let them play by themselves on a playmat, so they didn't expect us to always be the entertainment. That's just one example but I mention it because at least 4 - 5 people commented on it at the time, and we thought, "huh! doesn't everyone do this?"