Night dread is that feeling of anxiety you get from around 4 pm or 5 pm as night approaches, knowing that, first of all, suicide hour is just about upon you and then, that you'll be dealing with one or more screaming babies for hours on end.
Not only that but once they eventually fall asleep, one or both of you will be getting up a combined total of 6 times a night, wake up the next morning knackered. Then, forget about it because your brain's total mush only to have the night dread creep up on you again at 4pm.
Has anyone else experienced this?
For a good few months, probably up until 12 weeks or so, I experienced what I call night dread.
I would literally feel the muscles in my neck and shoulders get tense.
Then we got better at handling them, certainly more confident, and also they started behaving better - not so much crying and they'd go straight to sleep after feeds.
And the night dread faded.
D figured out that Kendra liked to drink two bottles, one hour after the other, in her cot, and after this that she wanted to be turned onto her tummy to sleep. And then she'd sleep 6 - 7 hours straight.
Connor would start yawning, we'd put him on his tummy, put his dummy in his mouth and he'd sleep without so much as a peep, also for 6 - 7 hours.
They each went through a bit of a wobble once they could roll, mainly Kendra. We'd find K on her back but unable to sleep so we'd have to apply deep pressure (hold her down!) and let her ease into sleep. Connor just falls asleep on his back.
I really thought the whole night dread thing was in the past.
BUT two things have since happened:
- Two weeks ago they had their 7-month sleep regression.
- They (mostly Connor) now cry when I put them down to sleep at night and OH MY WORD it drives me BONKERS.
Last Sunday night I'd had it and we decided to let them (they were both crying that night) cry it out. They'd both been fed, changed, etc, etc.
Here's how long they cried:
Sunday - C 90 mins, K 30 mins
Mon - C 15 mins, K 2 mins
Tues - C 5 mins
Wed - C 2 mins
Thurs - C ups the ante and goes for 20 mins
Fri - 9 mins, stops and then another 30 mins
Sat - 20 mins
Sunday - NOTHING
Monday (yesterday) - C 40 mins, K 2 mins here and there, about 3 - 4 times
(I was fully intending to bunk gym BUT I was so stressed I NEEDED the workout. Of course I got back and they were all cute-looking in their cots, like there'd been no crying the whole day)
We have made some mistakes - the first night I went in to try and comfort them/ check that they were still okay which made Connor MORE crazy, if that's even possible.
Now we stay out and he literally screams the house down. It's quite amazing how persistent he is - when I think the crying is abating, it's almost as if he remembers why he started crying, feels sorry for himself and starts all over again.
I fully expect someone to ring my intercom and announce they're from Child Welfare as there's been a report of babies screaming uncontrollably.
Is this crying not supposed to fade away to nothing? How long do I carry on?
(D asked me this question so I said I'll ask the internet :))
Eventually they wake for feeds (these days at around 11pm, even with the solids & the protein, and then again around 3 - 4 am) and we do our thing as if the earlier episodes never happened. They have their bottles, we change nappy if necessary and they go back to sleep with not a peep. In the mornings they're their normal selves, chatty, happy, smiling, gurgling babies.
So it's literally just this 5 - 5:30 craziness. I've tried to move the bedtimes - it makes it worse so I've accepted that these kids like to go to bed between 5 & 6 and leave it at that.
All that to say, afternoon dread is the new night dread!
P.S. My etsy stuff arrived yesterday and I love my things. I'll post a pic of my favourite piece.
P.P.S. This post is for SteadyMom's 30-minute blog challenge
