Speaking about your kids... when they're there

So Laura's post today reminded me of something I want to discuss with you.

Something I didn't think I'd have to really consider for another few years. At least.

I took Connor to the doctor with me on Wed.

Whenever I'm at the doctor with a kid, I try and think about anything else that I was wondering about and max out my consultation time checking these things too.

Do you do that?

whenever I see Claudia's kids on her counters, I think "oh, I should be a fun mom too". I told them, "don't MOVE" but look at that guilty expression because they started messing around in the 10 seconds I turned away.

trying to disarm me with a big smile - it worked!

So while I was there, I thought I should chat about the potty training regression.

By the way, when I mentioned this on the blog before, I tried to be all mysterious and say "one of the kids" but you all knew who it was anyway. :)

I'm always careful about the kids' feelings especially because I so often feel adults don't care what they say in front of children AS IF they can't hear or understand.

So I said something like, "so Dr P, we've had a little bit of a potty training regression since D and I returned from the US."

She asked me something and I said, "well, he refuses to go in the potty when we're at home but is fine with Nanny S" and I happened to glance over at Connor.

Well.

Connor stared off to the side (away from me), with his head a little bit in the air, and sat very still, as if he was cross with me. Obviously he was!!!

I felt terrible and I'm 100% sure my eyes went wide with shock.

We then spoke in euphemisms a bit more but she basically said the same thing I know - the only areas kids can control are their eating and their potty business. And it may be taking a bit long because he's a very determined young man.

Thankfully, my kids love food (like their parents) so this is how he's showing me he's cross with me. And I should just not make a big deal of it and follow his cues when he's interested in going again.

Which is just what we've been doing.

Interestingly enough, since I've been home sick for the 3 days last week (this is my quality time child), he wanted to wear underwear on the weekend and told us a couple of times when he went to pee/ poo.

But isn't this whole business interesting?

He's THREE!

I now know for next time and I'll ask him to go play with Dr P's toys in the front so I can have a word with her without having him there.

Friday...

I made the mistake of saying to Connor, "Baby, this is child-proof. It means you won't be able to open it". Well, within about a minute he had it open.

I don't think it's time for me to start censoring what I write here just yet.

This is my story but of course, they're a huge part of it but I need to have it clear in my mind when it won't look good for them.

I remember Tertia wrote about this business of not talking too much about her twins on the blog when they turned 8.

At the time that age made sense to me because they can read and they're starting to become self-aware (or does this happen earlier?)

Have you thought much about this? 

Do you speak about your kids in front of them?

(I do speak about them positively every evening when D comes home... on purpose. They love it - I catch them beaming when I tell him nice things :))

PS please also remember that what I share here is just a snippet of my life. On any given day, I could probably blog about 10 things and really, I just write as the mood takes me :) I've had instances before where people have judged me and my parenting based on what I write here (fair enough) but please  always remember, there's about 90% more of me you don't always see on the blog.