Five Love Languages of Children - part 1

Before we get started with the book, I want to post an update on the state of sick.

On Tuesday when I coughed it was sore and that afternoon I decided to go to the doctor. She only works til 2:30 - 3:00 so I took a 9 am appt the next day (Wed). There is another doc I could go to but he's mostly against anti-biotics and I kind of love hard core meds - I don't like faffing around with these things :)

When I got home Connor had been coughing a bit but 11:30 that night I actually woke him to have cough syrup and some Panado because he was also very hot.

So he came along with me. We both got a script and 3 of us are now taking meds.

I had a very important meeting yesterday though, so off I went to work after we got all the meds, and I left the office at 2.

Today I was also off, and I'm due to go back tomorrow but I very much doubt I will be well enough.

That's the sick.

Are you well though???

Also, isn't this strain of flu horrendous? I've never had flu like this before.

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Right, onto the FLL book.

I've been to a workshop based on the kids' book and I loved it.

Here's what I know from experience with my own kids:

Connor loves spending time with us, 1:1, and his behaviour is excellent when he gets focussed, quality time with us. Like when we go to gym on Saturdays and then out for croissants, and when he spends time reading with D. He likes building puzzles with us or reading in bed with me (this is my favourite).

We've seen that investing 10 minutes with him pays off the whole evening.

Kendra loves hugging and kissing. She's always game for a cuddle and when we give her lots of hugs and kisses, she's fine and independent, but when we're busy (cooking and so on), it's almost like she becomes a little monkey, climbing all over us. So again, it pays by talking her language upfront.

Here are some things that struck me generally so far:

1. Children need us to show them ALL the love languages so that they definitely have a full love tank and also, in case you've got their language wrong and they actually respond to something else :)

I really liked this point because even though Connor's LL is not physical touch, when he does slow down for longer than two seconds and I can give him a hug, he actually hugs for a long time almost like he misses the contact...

However, when you really speak your child's love language, that's when they really respond and sparkle.

Have you seen this in your kids too? 

2. Often as parents, we parent conditionally (eat your veggies and then you'll get pudding, etc.) and there's a strong reminder to give love unconditionally.

They give a long list of things to remember which was really useful for me!!! Like "they are children and will still act like children" :) They are getting big all the time but at the end of the day, they're still children.

If we love them conditionally, they will feel incompetent and like nothing they do can please you so why even bother. All this leads to low self-esteem, low self-confidence and insecurity. And I'll add something else, I think people-pleasing in girls especially.

Do you agree?

yip, he's taking photos of me again :)

3. Even though they may have full love tanks, life will not be perfect. Things will still happen. Actually, it's a good reminder for life. "Bad things happen to good people" and so on :)

4. A full love tank affects our kids' ability to learn. Can you believe it? They learn better when they're feeling loved.


Do you sometimes feel like you love your kids with conditions?

(I know I do, often unintentionally. And I was reminded by something Kendra said, to which I said, "NO Baby, I love you. That's always the same.")

Next week - 2 - 3 of the love languages