Nanny Viola

I just love the way Mommy Esq calls her nanny "Nanny April". We call ours "V".

I've been back at work now for two whole months, except for the one week's leave I took after New Year's.

I'm working a reduced day at the office so arrive home around 3 - 3:30 and usually one of the babies is asleep and the other is having a bath.

The babies are usually happy to see me and smiling/ giggly, etc.

Until a fateful day about two weeks ago.

Nanny Viola (don't you love it?!) was holding Kendra and after I'd washed my hands (yes, I still wash my hands - we're indoctrinated by those weeks in NICU), I went to fetch Kendra for our usual hugs and cuddles.

But she TURNED away and wouldn't come to me!

V is very sweet (doesn't she look sweet?) and said to Kendra, "go to Mummy" and other such things. But no.

My baby girl was soooo off me.

Not a smile from her, nothing.

I pretended things were fine and moved on doing my other stuff and much later, K warmed up to me again.

Either that, or she just wanted someone to hold her.

But no warmth or smiles!!!

When she woke at 11pm she gave me big smiles again so all was well.

However, this business has been repeating itself. Thankfully not daily but enough to worry a bit. D says it's normal; they're with V more than anyone else during the week.

That's true but STILL.

She loves V more than me! Granted, V has TONS more patience than I do and therefore indulges her a lot more than we do.

I told her yesterday, "no rocking K to sleep; we don't do it and I don't want her thinking that's the way things get done". You know what she said? "I was feeling sorry for her because she hasn't been feeling well. Awwww.

Thankfully, Connor is his same steady self. Always pleased to see me, full of smiles and hugs. Today he was so excited to see me he grabbed at my necklace (the pink and white one you made me, Caroline), broke it and there were beads EVERYWHERE.

D also says Kendra is stroppy (true! except now I have a new adjective to describe her - Spirited as per Baby Whisperer!) and is likely to be a bit more moody.

On the bright side, I would much rather have her love the nanny than be scared of her.

Some people have been asking how Viola's working out and so on.

She is great. We still trust her 100% with the kids, she has so much patience (she was first in the queue when God was handing out patience and I was number 100) and HER eyes also light up when she sees them in the mornings.

She's also proud of their little milestones and tells me eagerly when I get home, "Connor rolled today" or "Kendra ate ALL her broccoli", etc. It feels like the 3 of us parent the babies together which I do like.

The only negative thing is that she's still a bit slow with the baby laundry so things take maybe a day or two longer to get done than I'd like but that issue is SO SMALL in the grand scheme of things that I really don't care about it. I have told her, "I don't want to see it" so the dirty baby laundry hides in our laundry, I don't see it and I stay happy :)

In case you didn't know, laundry is probably the thing I hate the most of all household chores. Seriously. It's NEVER-ENDING!

What's your worse chore?

Anyway, so that's the latest on Nanny Viola. If you have any questions, ask away in the comments and I'll answer them there too.

money and other randomness

I just finished doing our January budget and am happy to report that things are looking up!

I never thought I'd be happy to be paying R5 500 a month on babies but when you put it in context it looks great.

We've now had 6 full months of baby expenses and I'm horrified to say we've spent R52 500.

That's $7 000.

Horrified!

Only God knows where all that money came from because it's definitely not in our monthly expense budget. Oh yes, that's right - my annual bonus at work and a depleted joint savings account!

We had 3 months of between R10 and R12 000 (the night nanny months) but thank God those days are over.

I still exceeded the budget by a couple of hundred but I'm thinking I may have to adjust the budget.

This month I paid the nanny overtime to come in two Saturdays for a few hours each time. This was so I could get some work done and that worked out quite well.

She's also keen (more money for her) so it's win-win.

I may have to do this for a few months while I find my groove working/ babies/ business because I'm getting behind on my household stuff and my freezer meals are running out.


*************

Cooked up a storm today - mostly baby food (there are now 22 baby meal portions in my freezer, neatly labelled of course) but also some Weigh-Less meals for me. Was totally inspired reading about Sarah's weight loss today and had to get moving on the food while still motivated.


*************

The other night I decided I needed a treat and ordered myself (and a friend, but she doesn't know) some jewellery on Etsy. Can't WAIT for the pieces to arrive.


*************

Am reading the Baby Whisperer. Why, oh why, did I not read this book sooner? Am LOVING it.


So... are you having a good week thus far?


P.S. Have decided to go to the Elton John concert - after all, it's on my life list! :)

P.P.S. It's POURING with rain as I type this - LOVELY - and now I'm off to bed.

P.P.P.S. Must blog about the nanny!

Worse advice ever

Sleep when your baby sleeps.

Oh my word.

This is what I used to do when they slept ...

• clean bottles


• make up bottles


• do baby laundry


• tidy house


• cook supper


• eat breakfast


• shower and get dressed


• blog/ SMS/ phone - to connect with outside world


• phone medical aid company - in those early days I phoned them nearly daily to check that claims were being paid - freaky when you get copied on THOUSANDS being claimed by the health professionals

Now that may not necessarily be bad advice for everyone but for anyone who knows me, how on EARTH would I be able to sleep having a to-do list that long?!

Okay, let's have some fun.

What's the worse advice you've ever been given, either as a mother, or just as a person?

Elton John

Pic from this website

There are some people on my life list that I have to see in concert.

One of those was Rod Stewart. We all know how wonderful that concert was.

The other two are Elton John and Billy Joel. I was too slow a couple of years ago when Billy Joel graced our shores as tickets sold out very quickly.

So imagine my excitement when I hear on the radio that Elton's coming to Joburg in March.

I rushed out to get a Greatest Hits compilation (does anyone else do this? I just feel it adds to the enjoyment when you can sing along with EVERY song. I also grabbed a Billy Joel one - I figure if I'm ready, he might just decide that he HAS to tour South Africa :)) and when I had a moment, I logged onto Computicket only to find...

The tickets cost R500 each (I think Rod Stewart was in the region of R300) which is not a big deal (I always manage to justify large expenses - but it's on my LIFE LIST!) but seating is unreserved.

Do you know what that means?

We'll have to be there for an insane amount of time to get a halfway decent seat. There are crazy people in Joburg who queue for 8 hours before concerts start.

I've never been crazy like that because I like to buy reserved seating (a chair that is all my own - as I write this I realise I'm OLD) so I can pitch up about 30 minutes before the show starts. That's much more respectable.

Now I'm torn - I obviously don't have the luxury of hours of hanging around waiting for anything and I'm not about to pay a babysitter to watch K & C for a gazillion hours.

Should I just pay and go whenever and just be happy with whatever seating? Or skip it?

I just don't know.

What would you do?

P.S. Who do you still have to see in concert?

P.P.S. Funny story - absolutely NOTHING to do with Elton John or concerts. Yesterday I was in a meeting and we're doing something with a retailer (have to be vague due to nature of work...) so they were saying how they put bins of things that don't sell at the ends of the aisles with big SALE signs and then they are able to move the stuff. In fact, it's the exact same price it's always been. All the men were like "wow!" and were horrified and I was "really now, I've known that for years." And this is why men pay a fortune for things we women know should cost a lot less!

Where do your babies sleep?

Like all pregnant women we had a nursery with two cots waiting for our babies and I, knowing nothing, already had rules for the babies.

No babies in our bed and no babies sleeping in our bedroom. Ha!

South African houses are not made for the cold and our lovely, open plan house is freezing cold in winter. Sometimes we think it's warmer outside than inside :)

When Connor came home we put him in their room but we were up and down between our room and theirs the entire night worrying about him literally freezing to death. Remember he was discharged at 1,93 kg so was a tiny, tiny baby.

Eventually I just said to God, "this is Your baby; You protect him" and then I slept without worrying.

Still, the next night we broke my two rules and co-slept with him in a wedge protector thing IN OUR BED for the next 10 days. It became easier to get to him if we kept him with us – also warmer for all!

Then Kendra came home so we dashed out to buy a camp cot (some of you call it a Pack and Play) which we put IN OUR ROOM.

They happily slept like that for about 3 months. During this time Kendra would scream and Connor would sleep through it all. We were amazed at his commitment to his sleep when it seemed the whole neighbourhood woke when Kendra screamed.

One day it all changed.

Connor started waking when she screamed so we moved him to their room mainly so he could get away from Kendra's screaming. Of course they both slept better this way.

On the nights we used to have the night nanny they'd both sleep in their room, no problem. I'm sure they'd wake each other on occasion though.

Eventually they were both sleeping there quite happily until something happened.

I don't know what the something was as is usually the case with the babies. One day something's fine; the next day you'd swear we were trying to kill them.

A few weeks of this craziness - one setting the other off and then still waking for their own feeds and I thought, "oh my word, we need to buy a bigger house to separate these two permanently".

Will we never have any sleep? Will I have to give up my study? Where will all the computers, files, books go?

But we can't afford to buy another house now, not with the twin expenses. Our debt is very low - tiny bond (mortgage) and only one car so I was freaking a bit.

I really hate debt (hence the tiny bond and only the one car to still pay off) so I panic a bit at the thought of paying a big bond again (we've been in this house for 5 years, we only financed about 2/3 of the purchase price and have paid off about 60% of that already... that stopped when we needed to start paying for IVF) even though who wouldn't want a bigger nicer house?!

Somehow I like security of having spare cash more than a tight budget with a lovely big house.

But just as I was about to start calling in estate agents for valuations and so on, things settled down.

Lesson to me - always wait things out for a few weeks before panicking!

We still have the odd night where I separate the quiet one from the niggly one but those are few and far in between. BUT we have moved the camp cot to the guest bedroom now so the niggly one isn't disturbing my sleep (babies are NOISY, especially Connor).

Of course this is not a long-term solution as eventually we will have to move house when we need to move them to their own rooms. I'm hoping only when they're about 4 - 5 years old as I really, really REALLY hate moving house.

Will your house able to serve your family's needs for a long time? If you have twins, what are your plans for sharing rooms vs having their own? And if you have boy/ girl twins, when do you plan to move them to their own rooms?

P.S. the new schedule seems to be working and I'm almost too scared to write this BUT last night they only woke once! K at 12.30 (7-hour stretch) and C at 3.45 (10-hour stretch)

A question about pedicures

I've only ever had two pedicures in my life. Yes, you read that right.

I just don't like people touching my feet...

Anyway, so first one was the day after I had the babies and then I had one last month just before I went back to work.

Now here's the thing - the first one was lovely, no problems. The second one was not in the least bit pleasurable.

The lady cut my toenails too much in the corners and four of the toes on my left foot are fine but my big toe has been tingly ever since. At one point it even throbbed from the pain.

So understandably I'm a bit scared of doing anything with my toes ever again but I badly need one of those paraffin dips as my heels are disgusting from being in flip flops the entire summer in blazing hot weather. And I bought a massage/ pedicure/ facial voucher for a very good price (not from the same place!). It was worth it just for one and a half treatments.

The pedicure is booked for Friday and I think I'll feel better knowing what to expect so I can tell her, "do it like this, not like that".

How are they supposed to cut your toenails?

Also, what, if anything, would you do about the first lady? I think my toe is damaged in some way. I used to have bruised feet from pointe work (ballet) but never problem feet. So this is actually hampering my lifestyle - toes sore when I wear closed shoes, etc.

Our new feeding schedule

I've been waiting for the babies to turn 6 months so that I could get more rigid with the schedule.

Some of you are thinking, why 6 months?

I don't have a good answer, only that I'm a wuss and felt sorry for them having Military Mama for their mother.

So we've been going about a week now and here's their new * schedule:

6 am - morning bottle with vitamins (do your babies take vitamins?)

8 am - breakfast - cereal

10 am - bottle - we offer 200 ml (ever since that night when he was starving) and he takes anything from 150 ml

12 pm - lunch - fruit and yoghurt

2 pm - bottle

4 pm - veggies

6 pm - milk

That's the plan anyway and if he's awake, great. If he's sleeping, we don't EVER wake a sleeping baby and wait for him to wake first.

I'm so glad I asked the paed about their sleep times because now I don't stress if they only sleep 3 hours.

For Kendra, it's the exact same story except she goes every 3 hours between feeds and doesn't get lunch yet, only cereal and veggies. And she has a bottle of 140 ml except for her 6pm bottle when I do 175 ml as she seems to like to drink a lot before bed. Of course, she also doesn't take her entire bottle all of the time.

I got the * schedule from Sleep Sense. You'll be happy to know I finally finished Baby Sense and Sleep Sense.

(their old schedule was totally on demand - we'd feed them with milk every 3 hours and put the solids in anywhere we could find a gap)

I can't seem to find any correlation between the amount of milk they drink and the length of time they sleep. Some days they seem to have very little and yet only wake once or twice and other times they have the same amount and wake more. Very confusing so I've stopped worrying about it. I could obsess more and do spreadsheets and stuff but I'm holding myself back on purpose.

Or is this only true for my babies?

Now, for the 6-month pics.





When all these shenanigans happen while I'm trying to get a good 6-month photo, I give up and take one where the subjects actually sit still.

P.S. When I got these stuffed animals I cried because they were bigger than the babies!

P.P.S. This is my post for the 30-minute SteadyMom blog challenge

Look! A post with pictures

The babies are wearing bibs they received from Minx :)
Only took a month and 3 weeks to get here!

I have so much to say - hope I remember everything.

Project Get Fit and Lose Baby and Fertility Drugs Weight

Just came back from gym - this is week 3 - and guess what? I have GAINED 0.6 kg in the last week. I have NO idea what's going on and will be googling up a storm after this. We were chatting about birth control at work (fun team, right?) and a colleague said she gained 6 kg in about 3 months of being off the same BCP I was on (Yaz) so hmmm, what's up with that?

Nevertheless I persist because I HATE this stage of getting fit, where you look horrible, can't do much before being out of breath and basically hate every minute of being there. I also get an itchy bum and thighs (TMI) in the very beginning which has now stopped - really bad first week and then it goes. And I forget until the next time I let myself go, usually over December...

Work

I've been going to work late so then I stay late. Then I get home late (and traffic gets worse the later you stay) so don't have enough time to do all I need to on the business as well as at home - cooking and such (I don't like takeaways so will almost never get food in). I then end up working late into the night which means I wake late after waking 2 - 3 times for the babies and the whole cycle repeats.

Last week I decided enough is enough. Come hell or high water, I'm getting to work on time. Today I was only 5 minutes late and I left on time. Have to stop the madness somewhere.

It's getting a lot harder to simply leave the office as most of them work a full day and the work keeps coming in... It's also getting to the point where I'm going to have to be assertive with talkative colleagues (the same one who put on 6kg!) so that I can stay productive and get my stuff done. I may have to put in my headphones (without music) to give the appearance that i don't want to be disturbed.

The good thing is I know I can do it as I worked like crazy today. I had to leave at 2 pm as my friend was visiting me at 2:30 so I got it done.


Baby updates Kendra

Kendra got her first tooth yesterday. She is also rolling up a storm. Back to tummy, tummy to back, crazy active. She's twisting and turning ALL the time. Cute until you try to change her nappy!

Connor


Connor has now discovered his toes. He gets very pleased with himself when he can get one of his feet in his mouth. Of course I keep wiping his feet clean!

He's also "sitting". By that I mean he props himself up like a triangle using his arms as support in front of his body.

This is also very cute until you try to bath him or feed him as he's obsessed with the toes :)

Socials

We had a successful outing to church yesterday. By that I mean they didn't scream too much and I actually caught about 70% of the message. Previous best 25%.



I have a confession to make. I went to church to avoid a visit from my MIL. Our church has two morning services and she usually goes to the first one and then comes to visit if we don't go to church (we go to the second one). Problem is if you're tired the last thing you want is to entertain someone else.

D keeps telling me we don't have to entertain her. Hmmmm. If you have to make tea, make conversation, can't do anything else while she's here, that's entertaining her.

We also had D's sister sleep over for a night last week which was just lovely - she gets better with age :)

So enough about me. What's been happening with you?

What's the best and worse thing that happened to you last week?

I'll go first - Kendra's tooth and a Crazy Connor overstimulation episode on Saturday night... but then he slept so well he only woke once!

quick update

Life has been so incredibly busy lately, something I'm not enjoying. I do like my down time (ha!)

But I promise to post tonight after the babies are in bed.

Also, if you've missed my comments on your blogs :) I'm having a problem commenting, definitely on those of you (Saffy) who have the comment box but sometimes on other blogs too.

Grrrr.

When time is so short, that's the last thing I need and I don't have time to type up individual emails to you.

Chat soon!

He needs all that?!

Connor's first tooth appeared a day before 6 months.

Well on Saturday night the boy was crazy. Usually he wakes screaming for food (I'm convinced he's still hungry despite his size and the fact that he eats well during the day), we pop the bottle in, he devours it and is out like a light.

Not this time.

First he wouldn't eat properly - it reminded me of when he's over-tired and I first have to calm him down before he will take his bottle.

Then all through bottle and afterwards, occasional screaming.

We probably are spoiled with Connor because he has had absolutely NO eating problems so we don't really know how to handle any fussiness with food.

Nevertheless he ate a bit and eventually off to bed. That was around 4:30.

At about 8:30 I hear the same blood-curdling screams carry on and on yet I know D's on duty so I try to ignore them and stay put in bed.

Eventually (he screams like he's being killed LOL) I jump up and rush to their bedroom. D can't calm him down (yes, I am the best but this is not really something you actually want to be good at when you need to SLEEP) so I grab him and do my tricks again.

He's calm and drinks his bottle.

Afterwards when the screaming started again I grabbed the Teegel and when I rubbed it on his gums, I felt it...

ANOTHER little tooth.

Poor little sausage - that's what all the fuss was about.

And that was the extent of the drama on Sunday because he was happy as a clam afterwards - no more fussiness.

At night he's been drinking about 200 ml (about 7 oz) max - sometimes when he's woken only once (oh, haven't given sleep updates for awhile), he has about 125 - 150 ml and goes back to sleep.

Sunday night however he woke up THREE times (we haven't had that since this day) and polished off around 400 ml total.

I could not believe it.

Surely he didn't expend so much energy pushing out his second little tooth that he needed all that extra milk?!

The next night he only woke up once (I don't count anything within 15 minutes of his actual wake-up time) so looks like he re-set himself.

It's sooo cute to see his teeth when he smiles - I can literally see them growing daily.

P.S. Still no teeth for Kendra as she's been working on something else - being cute and rolling up a storm. Has done tummy to back for months now but recently learned back to front and I think she's figured out she can use it to get to things because I find her chasing her rattles if they fall out of her reach.

P.P.S. I can't believe my BABY has TEETH. This pic was taken on Friday 15th. If you look closely you can see tooth number 1.

The funk - part 2

Update on The Funk

Work

In 2008 I'd started looking for another job and of course nothing happens until I'm pregnant and showing. Very frustrating.

April marks my 5-year anniversary with my company and as a long service award, I get 10 extra leave days. Leave has always been like gold to me so I definitely don't plan to leave until I get to take these leave days.

Also, I'm currently working a 6-hour day in the office and am supposed to work the rest from home. Thing is I'm so productive at work that I haven't needed to log on from home at all. I aim to continue in this streak since I'm underpaid anyway :)

Yesterday I got a call from a recruiter who found my CV (resume) online and who said she had the perfect job for me. Until I started quizzing her (I'm quite stroppy and REFUSE to drive more than 30 minutes to work), that is :) Also I told her my salary and said that I work a 6-hour day since I have twins and she said, "I really think you should stay there for a while because you have a good deal going and the babies are only young once".

That cheered me right up.

HOWEVER I've started being "aware" of goings-on in the company again because as much as I love my team and clients, clearly I'm in a comfort zone and they are taking me for granted.

I always think, "if they had to recruit someone from outside the company to do my job, they would pay them properly, so why not me and why not now?" I am now very open to moving to a new job within the company. I really feel that will be the best option as I'll keep my leave (!), my 6-hour day but still have the option to get a salary increase.

I'm really hoping and praying that another suitable job with a good manager opens up soon. There are suitable ones available right now but I would NEVER work for some of those people.

Strangely it's not the money because with our minimalist lifestyle we get by just fine but it would be nice to be able to move to a bigger house eventually and get a newer car (this year my car is 5 years old).

Anyway, hold thumbs!

Business

I did my sales analysis this week and happily saw that about 60% of my income comes from one-on-one coaching. Which now explains the terrible 2009 figures as I did nothing from July. In fact, I checked my time log and on 6 July, I have 3 entries - I worked on a new product and then coached two clients. Then, of course, later that night, waters broke and a few hours later, BABIES.

Have asked nanny to work a few hours overtime this Sat and next so I can do some decent business planning and think up some ways to get lots of coaching clients.

Any ideas?

Bickering

It's not about the baby food. It's like in that Vince Vaughn/ Jennifer Aniston movie where she says, "I want you to want to do the dishes"

(It's The Break-up - just googled the sentence - you'll be amazed at all the results LOL)

So I've given him the baby book, marked with post-its to read about the food thing. He is sweet - he reads 5 mins baby/ parenting stuff every day.

I am trying...

Group

Had some email conversations behind the scenes and have some ideas to streamline things. Mommy Esq, love your idea about it either being mommy time or mommy and baby time.

Friends

Strange, a work friend told me today that she needs to learn to stop being a people pleaser as her friends are walking all over her. She is a LOVELY person - I can't explain just how nice she is - EVERYONE loves her - so this is good that she's putting up her fences.

Back to the friends thing - one of the friends contacted me since I last posted. Is there some energy thing happening in cyberspace? :) We will see how that goes.

P.S. Have lost 0.5 kg. 2,5 kg to go.

Making my own baby food

Once, ages ago, I saw someone on TV make baby food and freeze them in ice-cube trays.

I thought this was a brilliant idea and filed it away for when I had my own babies.

Of course that was years and years ago as this whole babymaking business took so long to get sorted.

Anyway, then we started solids.

And I quickly realised that it actually made better sense for me to spoon the food straight into containers and freeze them so that the container served as the bowl.

*sob* no cute ice-cubes for me

But seriously, this works so, so well that be warned, if I meet you, I will strongly encourage you to do your own baby food.

It's sooo much cheaper for one and I know exactly what's in there - nothing but veggies or fruit.

I bought ONE butternut for R12,78 ($1.73).

V peeled and cooked it.

I mashed it all up and portioned it out. There were 6 portions for Connor and 6 for Kendra.


Now if you had to buy Purity (bottled baby food), you'd pay between R5 and R7 a bottle, depending where you shop. Let's say R6.

I got enough food as would be in 9 bottles of Purity. That's R54 worth.

And I paid R12,78.

It is SOOOO worth it!

Same story with the other veggies and fruit. Some work out even better because butternut has that hard outer shell so you're actually paying for that, as you pay per kilogram.

Look.


And it's so easy.

For example, with the gem squash, I poked holes in the skin, popped them into an empty bread packet and into the microwave for about 5 - 7 minutes. Done! Slide open, scoop out seeds, scoop out squash and mash. Easy!

This suits the organising part of my personality just perfectly. I am LOVING preparing their foods and mixing it all up. I was a dud at the breastfeeding but am a rock star at this stuff :)


At one point I thought I'd be doing the Purity thing sometimes when life is hectic but now, I honestly can't bring myself to spend that kind of money. After all, I have twins. That, and I'm cheap!

What are you doing about baby food?

P.S. This is my post for SteadyMom's 30-minute blog challenge (her new book is out - have a look)

5 reasons I'm in a funk

This pic was taken today at our Fertility Babies group. Can you see The Belly?

BTW, those two cute children on the bottom of the pic belong to our host, pictured with me. They are some of the MOST well behaved kids I have EVER met. I need to start praying hard that mine turn out the same :)

I shouldn't joke; the kids aren't that naughty and D keeps reminding me that I asked for sassy kids.

That's true - but I specified 80% sweet, 20% sassy.

Did you ask for specific characteristics in your kids?

Anyway...... I'm in a bit of a funk.

I hate feeling all funky and introspective - it's sooooo not me. I'm not one for over analysing my feelings and so on... but when I feel funky, I do try to get to the bottom of WHY I'm feeling like that.

I've decided it's four things:

One

Yesterday I had a salary discussion at work initiated by me after I found I'm on the 47th percentile for my job grade and yet performance-wise, I'm an 80-percenter so should be somewhere around 75th percentile or higher.

At some point they thought I was on a lower job grade. I don't know why I do this to myself as was told same rubbish (I probably could have written the script) about they can only move me a little bit at a time. My thing is because salaries are increasing all the time I'm really only inching towards where I should be at a snail's pace and it will take years to get me there. Nooooo, they say, not true. Rubbish I thought but didn't say that. It's at times like this I want to just walk out but not so easy when you have to pay bond (mortgage), twins and so on...

Nothing really resolved except that it will be reviewed mid-year again. I'm the type of person who wants things FIXED and all TICKED off my list and DONE. So this gradual stuff is very frustrating for me.

Of course I'm an emotional eater so went to the famous canteen and had a prego roll, sponge cake and custard for lunch. Felt slightly bad but the food was so good.

How can you feel bad when you're having custard? (have a bit of a love affair with custard and the guy always gives me lots because I tell him he makes the best waffles in Jhb - true!)

Anyway best I get to grips with it and move on as I will drive myself nuts otherwise.

Two

Also I did my business year-end financial stuff (hate it!) and was horrified to find I made only a bit more money last year than I did in 2008. I could justify saying I only worked 6 months because then the babies came but historically I've had year-on-year results of around 180% for a couple of years running so this just annoys me. Which means I need to get even stricter with my time and only do things that will lead to the money, directly or indirectly.

Three

I've been bickering with D so much over the stupidest stuff.

Like this morning, he fed Connor K's butternut which is half Connor's portion. When I told him, he says "if you'll get up in the mornings instead of sleeping in blah blah".

I saw RED.

Me - "it is NOT only my responsibility to make sure the kids eat properly blah blah"

Stupid stuff like that.

I suppose we need to have some maritals (as T-bird says :)) to get our mojo back.


Four

Felt a bit out at our group this afternoon because I was the only mother there without babies. They were at home with D and the nanny who I'd paid to help babysit. Last time poor D was FINISHED by the time I got home and since I enjoy getting out with my friends, I thought I'd make it easier on him.

Despite knowing that it was best for them to stay in their routine as we'd already been out as a family that morning visiting with friends out from Dublin. Their son is 3 months older than mine and is just GORGEOUS. All red-headed cuteness. He and Connor hit it off and were heard giggling and laughing at each other which was too cute.

Also, I consider it "me time" and not "babies time" and it will be far too stressful trying to control both of them by myself in a strange environment.

Back to the group... I think we need some structure - it feels a bit all over the place which doesn't really work for me. I'll email round and see what the others say.

Five

This year I resolved to make stronger boundaries in my relationships with friends and so on. I want to only have nurturing, win-win relationships where both parties give energy to the relationship and where being with the person is not an energy drain due to their focus only on themselves.

Hope I'm not the only one but do you have friends who literally only talk about themselves all the time and never ask about you or your life? Who only contact you when they need something? I have not one but TWO. I've decided I'm done.

Interesting aside - had a lovely conversation about boundaries with an older lady at work who has also just ended a very long-term relationship

So there's my funk.

How are you all doing?

Solids

As you know, Connor started cereal at 4 months and it was going so well that I was scared to mess with a good thing by starting the veggies.

These babies are more than enough work at the best of times.

However, someone (Amy) said something like "oh, just do it" and I decided to go for it.

My baby textbook, Baby Sense, said to first start with all the yellow veggies, so he had butternut, pumpkin, sweet potato and then carrots.

They say you should introduce one food to a baby at a time, for four days, to check for allergies, so that's what we did, although some weeks he ate the same veggie for 6 days in a row if I made more than 4 days' worth.

Yes, I make my own baby food - more on that later.

Then we started mixing some of those foods - like sweet potato and pumpkin.

And then we went to see the paed. Can't remember if I said (and to lazy to read through old posts) but he was very happy that they'd started solids (!). He also told me to not blend the food too fine as he's seen lots of babies who eat Purity (that's the most common baby food in a jar here and is so smooth) and now cannot eat anything with lumps or textures because they start gagging and vomiting simply because they're not used to it.

Well, I am certain of one thing - I don't plan to have fussy eaters so I decided to do more textures there and then.

Enter gem squash. Which is stringy..... so I thought, "well, if Connor doesn't like it, then D will have to finish the squash". I'm not one for gems...

Viola (the nanny) told me that Connor LOVED the gem squash and had no problem with the stringiness.

(I've just looked up the reference on Wikipedia and now, for the first time in my life I find that gem squash is a fruit!!!)

This boy likes his food.

We started him on fruits last Saturday - so far he's had Granny Smith apples (my favourites) and bananas. Next on the menu are pears.

As for the cereal, he's had rice cereal and maize cereal. (South Africans, the paed said he could have normal mielie meal!)

He can also have yoghurts and when they're properly 6 months (8 months actual) we can start introducing mince and chicken. Hmmm, I'm a bit wary of that.

But the main thing is this - I got that we can experiment with lots of different textured food.

Lovely!

Now Kendra started cereal a month later, at 5 months.

She is not so keen on the food and eats s l o w l y. Dear Lord, you need the patience of Job.

And, sadly, she eats better for Viola than she does for us. But we've been observing V so now we prop her up in exactly the same way and give her lots of encouragement (lots of "good girl") and it's going a tiny bit faster.

She's also had rice cereal and maize cereal. More keen on the maize than the rice cereal.

On Thursday last week (exactly 6 months) we started her veggies. She's had pumpkin and is now on the butternut.

So far so good.

I think she's getting more used to food because I've actually seen her open her mouth ready for the next spoon. This is huge for Kendra :)

At the moment she's eating half the amount of veggies as Connor and about two-thirds his amount of cereal.

Oh, one more thing the paed said (can you tell I got my money's worth - I peppered him with SO many questions) is that they eat better if they touch the food.

oooh, gross! (I hate messes but I'm learning to tolerate them)

So here we go, Kendra getting into her food.

P.S. you'll have noticed I don't have high chairs for the babies and quite honestly, I don't know that I need them until they can eat by themselves. I have to hold down Connor's hands otherwise there's food EVERYWHERE (worse than Kendra).

Scrambled eggs

So, the weight thing...

I'd got back to my pre-pregnancy weight (59 kg exactly, in case you're interested) ONE week before I started work, to the day.

Then I relaxed.

Which is not a good thing when you still want to lose another 2 kg of fertility drugs weight.

We have a WONDERFUL canteen and coffee shop at work and I'm partial to their French toast and scrambled eggs.

I have a thing for scrambled eggs done properly (there's a restaurant at my closest shopping centre and that chef does THE BEST scrambled eggs, ever! I first ordered them when pregnant because I found myself craving eggs at one point and since then I haven't stopped. They serve breakfasts the whole day and I order those scrambled eggs every time I'm there. The waiters think I'm nuts because I RAVE about those eggs but seriously, that guy knows how to do good scrambled eggs :) It's Mugg and Bean, Bedford Centre, if anyone in Johannesburg's reading).

That, and the Christmas eating, and the chocolate and me eating my biscuits (cookies) have resulted in me GAINING a whopping 3kg.

IN ONE MONTH

I'm actually embarrassed to write that down but I'm doing it because I want you to hold me accountable.

I'm not one for making excuses so it's all me but I do think stopping the birth control has something to do with it. I am starving all the time!

You're asking why I stopped. Because I was going crazy on it - highly irritable and feeling like everything is wrong in my world the week before my period.

I know that's weird because usually you gain weight from going on the pill. Hmm, apparently not in my case.

BUT I'm going to eat properly for a month and go to gym twice a week and then see if it isn't only the effects of Christmas and scrambled eggs.

So far I have literally dragged myself to gym twice this month (the dance classes only started up this week and I can't be bothered with those machines - yawn...) and yes, I hate every minute, especially seeing my fat thighs and tummy in those horrible mirrors.

I am eating my usual breakfast and lunch so that's not torture (well, eating hardly is for me!) - wholewheat toast, chunky cottage cheese and cucumber slices/ cup a soup (if cold weather)

So that's the weight thing - I will tell you next week how I'm doing.

P.S. OH! Speaking of rude comments, yesterday at the gym a lady asks me, "so when are you going to get rid of your tummy" or something like that. I was very cool... and simply said, "well, they say with a pregnancy you should give yourself 9 months to get back your shape, so since I had twins, I'm giving myself 18 months" - not really true (I want it gone asap) but that shut her up. Also to be fair, she was a Chinese lady and her English was not that good so I don't think she really meant to be rude! At least I hope not...

Why do people say these things?

It was our first trip to church as a family of four.

Lest you think I'm totally unredeemed, D and I have been some... when we've had Mabel to babysit. Mabel's the first night nanny.

Usual chaos ensued as we had to time their waking from naps, feeding, dressing, bundling in car with bags, etc. with military precision.

Eventually we're all in the car, quiet babies in the back, and we're feeling quite proud of ourselves for actually getting out the house in one piece.

Church is fine, although the door to the family room (as I refuse to take care of two babies by myself in the mother's room) was too narrow for our twin pram so had to get second door opened, etc, etc. I find this is the case in the shopping centres too.

Nevertheless, the church service is 90 minutes long so towards the end they're getting crabby as they now need to sleep so both D and I stood at the back, rocking the babies.

I then got these smiles from a lady diagonally opposite me which I mistakenly thought were sympathetic smiles at the restless babies.

Nooooo.

The minute the pastor said his last "amen" she dashes over to us and says this:

Why is your baby so small? What's wrong with her? Is she sick?

I had to touch D's arm to stop him from freaking out because I could feel him tense up.

I then said that no, Kendra was perfect (yes, I said this), our PAEDIATRICIAN is VERY HAPPY with her progress as she is eating beautifully and is, in fact, growing nicely. They were prem and so started off small but she just happens to have a high metabolism as she is not vomiting, no diarrhoea, etc.

All in one breath.

Well, you'd think she'd leave it at that but she kept going on and on.

Eventually I said to D, "listen, we need to go" and so she took the hint and off she went.

They are very different in size - we're not blind - but I do think it's bad manners to say rude things like that to people.

It's like saying "why are you so ugly?"

Or like me saying to my clients, "My word, your life IS a mess, isn't it? I don't know how you get anything done with such bad time management" Just not the done thing.

Of course, when we got into the car, we discussed our strategy going forward.

D came up with some sarcastic remarks. I don't do sarcasm but I do blunt :)

What's the rudest thing people have said to you or your baby?

P.S. Before this incident, it was "so why don't you have any children? Are you selfish?"

P.P.S. This is my post for SteadyMom's 30-minute blog challenge

Project 365 & sleep gymnastics

This is Connor's new "trick" - sleep gymnastics. He twists around and when I come find him, this is what I see. The pillow has a teddy bear pillowcase.

He doesn't look in the least bit guilty, does he?


We've also found him twisted the other way so his little legs get stuck in between the bars of the cot. Of course, he then wakes when he tries to move his leg and gets frantic when he realises he's stuck.

D's had to move the cot bumper around so it's only at his head and all along this side. Since then, no more feet getting stuck and more peaceful sleep for all of us.

Am I the only one with kids who twist and turn in their sleep?



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I've wanted to do a photo project for a loooooong time but the ones I've read about always seemed too restrictive or too complicated for an amateur like me.

Until this one.

I know that Mandy's doing it too and so is Claudia.

So I thought, "what the hell, let me do it too" so I started a separate photo blog.

Please be kind - I just like documenting things, I'm by no means a "photographer" - and I'm doing this as simply as possible, in other words, no words, just pictures.

Except for the organising photos as I'm sending people over from my organising blog to see those ones. Two birds with one stone and all that jazz...

Still it's the first time this year that I've had time to actually put the pics up.

I'm going to have to schedule an hour every week to upload and compress photos - have already made my Project 365 folder and am ready to go.

Is anyone else participating? It's not too late - you probably already have a photo a day if you check :)

My decade in review (part 2)

The decade in review continues...

2005 - the year of 4 different jobs

Trying begins in earnest.

Back from leave first week of Jan and I see a new job advertised which I apply for and get. Yayy. High profile so if you stuff up, you basically mess up your career at the company. I'm not scared of challenges so accept the position with great enthusiasm.

Start new job on 1 Feb and suddenly new job is not great. Why? Discover later that existing staff all applied for job and didn't get it so are ticked off at me and resentful with a capital R. Lovely. One day, in a terrible mood, I buy newspaper to look at jobs. See something that's perfect for me so apply by email after 5pm. The next morning at 9 am I get a call from the agent - can't wait to see me, I'm perfect, blah blah blah.

Long story short, I have interview upon interview and suddenly have another new job. With 40% increase in salary - yayyy.

Of course I turn the department around (not giving a jot if they like me or not) as I have to make sure I get some good results to put on my CV (resume) :)

New job is stunning, I LOVE love LOVE the team and my work but alas, 3 months in they decide to scrap the dept and move everyone to a partner company. Nooooo, not for me, so I apply for yet another job within existing company which I get.

And THAT's how I got my current role.

As you can see, I got my interview mojo back :)

Four different jobs in the space of a year.

As if the year weren't busy enough, I also decided to start running motivational workshops. They're so fun they don't even feel like work.

We also decide to buy a new house but this time I resolve, "not again for at least 7 years" (don't know where I got the 7 years from) after the house move as, despite my organising skills, two companies don't do their bits and I was super, SUPER stressed.

Have crazy symptoms regularly and am convinced every month I'm pregnant.

2006

Settled into the new house and my new job nicely.

The job is perfect for me. The boss thinks I'm great (I wasn't super stroppy yet!) and my biggest client loves me. They're super demanding but I'm just the same type of difficult person so I anticipate all their needs and they think I'm outstanding and on the ball.

However right at the end of the year sale of shares in JV, etc, blah blah and basically we lose that big client which is main reason I'm employed. Never fear, says boss, there is a lot to keep you busy.

He's right but these are tiny, tiny clients who are sooooo easy to please after big, difficult client that the job starts getting boring and I start nagging for more responsibility.

To distract myself, we go on a holiday to Thailand and Malaysia and have fabulous time, eating and shopping lots. I'd lost about 4 kgs before the holiday so even look good in bikini and shorts


2007

Job really gets boring and I start looking around again but NOTHING is working out. People phone me for jobs that just don't excite me (I get fussier the older I get) but I do make the effort to see a few recruitment consultants.

Clearly I've lost the interview mojo again.

Then I find out I'm underpaid and I flip. Seriously. Long story short, lots of meetings with HR and was told it would be fixed so off I went to have my first laparotomy.


2008

Big year for us in terms of making baby progress. Finally went to another fertility clinic and saw the wonderful Dr G in February. Lots of money, surgery and lots of tears later, in December 2008 we were finally pregnant from IVF number 2.

Still interviewing, still nothing. Inside and outside the company. A few bigger projects at work which was great although probably at my lowest, self-confidence wise, ever. The salary still not adjusted.

Coaching business doing well - loving the client work and they're getting good results, becoming more visible online. Getting speaking gigs, all good.

Had a wonderful trip to the UK - England, Scotland, Wales and totally fell in love with Ireland.


2009

Pregnant! Of course once I start showing, suddenly I get all these job offers that are perfect for me.

Didn't care about anything except remaining pregnant and being healthy.

Despite being permanently exhausted, worked my butt off on a big campaign as I wanted them to remember me while on maternity leave. It worked.

Went for a last pre-babies trip to Ireland.

Then had the babies and though I love them with all my being, will honestly say the first 3 months were the hardest of my entire life. Good thing I'm sub-fertile as I don't know if I could ever do that kind of sleep deprivation again, without going crazy.

D once said to me after we'd moved house by ourselves (in our younger days), if we can't afford to hire movers, we can't afford to move. So from then on, we've always had movers.

My take on this is - if we can't afford a night nanny we can't afford to have another baby. And we can't. We can barely afford these two (a whole 'nother post). I seriously take my hat off to anybody who can function on no sleep and no help.

My business made just a little more money than it did in 2008 - not great. That's probably due to only working 6 months properly.

So 2009 ends with me back at work, the boss says I was missed terribly, with two babies who are cute as can be.

Questions?

P.S. Saffy, thanks for this idea. I found it strangely therapeutic :)

6-month check-up (corrected age 4 months)

So the babies are 6 months old - I can't believe it!

Tried to make an appointment earlier this week and was HORRIFIED when told that the fabulous Dr R (their paed from NICU days) has left the practice.

I then investigated further (phoned my friend, M) and found that Dr R wanted a job that didn't require her to be on call, seeing as she's about 28 weeks pregnant and has a 20-month old little girl too. Our hospital doesn't allow that - all doctors have to be on call - so she then looked for another job.

Huge sadness as we LOVE Dr R.

Note to self - will have to hook up on Facebook.

Anyway, lots of issues with receptionists but finally managed to get an appt for the afternoon with Dr S, whose practice it is.

We arrived bang on time, armed with babies and my list of questions. I always come prepared as I'm not prepared to shell out R1000 and not get every single question answered.

Was prepared to hate him.... because of appointment-setting issues but the man was VERY nice.

He even played with Kendra and Connor and really took his time checking them over.

Now here's the stuff I live for, the stats :)

Kendra

Now weighs 5,18 kg (11 lbs) (and is finally in Pampers 2), is 62,4 cm tall and has a head circumference of 42 cm.

Previously she was at 60% of her expected weight and she is now at 80% of her expected weight and on the 10th percentile. Moving up her growth curve very nicely.

Yayyy - we are very happy. The cereal is working and we started her veggies today too. Such a minute amount as she is not a food lover like her brother.

Developmentally she's doing fine. That's all the detail I have! Amazing - I am not at all freaked out by these things, only the sleep.

Connor

Weighs 7,68 kg (17 lbs) and is 67 cm tall. D didn't write down the head circumference as I was working hard to keep Connor from crying too much.

Don't know what on earth got into these kids - they were freaking out and screaming. And he was very gentle with them because I was right there. I am rougher with them.

Again, Connor is on 50-something percentile for age 6 months, and for his corrected age, is way ahead of the pack. He is a big boy. There is now a 2,5 kg difference in their weights.

Developmentally, he's at age 5 months. That's all I heard. It's better than their corrected age of 4 months, so am happy.

Dr S was very happy that he's on cereal and veggies and said I can start experimenting with fruits, yoghurt, rougher textures, etc.

Knowing me, it will take forever to get there :) I don't like to mess with a good thing.

So we continue as we have been doing. Next appointment at 9 months.

P.S. Connor has his first tooth! Poor baby was so calm and placid - the little tooth arrived with no fanfare. On Wed he started moaning a little bit when we tried to give him his bottle. Had a look in his mouth, fully expecting to see red gums and instead, a little white tooth. Too cute.

P.P.S. On Wed night Kendra only woke twice and Connor only woke once. Maybe they can sense that we're going to let them "cry it out" :)

P.P.P.S. I asked how much they should be sleeping in a 24-hour period at this age - 13 - 14 hours, 10 at night and the rest during the day. The doctor says they probably will still wake once a night until 9 months! Kendra might wake twice because of hunger - any more than this means they're waking for "other than hunger" reasons. So Connor sleeps a lot, but honestly, he goes crazy if he doesn't sleep after 90 - 120 minutes.

My decade in review (part 1)

As promised, here is my decade in review.

2000

A very busy year, work-wise. Started looking for a new job end of 1999 and was interviewing like crazy. Was made a job offer that I was not wild about but resigned based on that out of desperation. Fortunately the job that I actually wanted came through about a week into my notice period so that's where I ended up.

2001

Great year, work-wise. Loved the company, loved my team, loved my boss, performed brilliantly, was given more staff, responsibility, etc. and was promoted with an unheard-of salary increase.

2002

Decided to buy a house (had bought a townhouse prior to this). Looked around and eventually settled on a suburb with gorgeous old houses - wooden floors, pressed ceilings, charm everywhere. Put in offer which was accepted. The next week D announces that he can't stand it at work ONE MORE DAY and is resigning. I panic and tell him it's the worse Valentine's Day ever and he can't resign just yet. After doing the numbers we figure out he can be out of work for a maximum of 3 months because that's all the savings we have. Happily, he resigns.

Very stressful year as he ends up out of work for 6 months (as he is very specialised), all this with a new mortgage but we made it, thank the Lord.

Laparoscopy number 1.


2003

Things are looking up financially. Work-wise, I go on a training programme and happen to write down some life goals. Suddenly once they're in writing I realise I can't continue to faff around and actually start doing something about the goals. Started writing a monthly motivational newsletter which I then emailed to friends.

Started coaching my staff and a few friends (all for free). Found my passion.

Wonderful boss decides to emigrate to Australia - very sad but new guy seems okay so optimistic.

2004

Went to Singapore and Australia for our 9-year anniversary. WONDERFUL time. Loved Singapore's efficiency. Met up with wonderful boss for breakfast :)

When I got back I had laparoscopy number 2.

Meanwhile, new boss starts bugging the ________ out of me. Is TOTALLY manipulated by girls in the office and lack of backbone starts to be very evident.

Work starts being stressful due to new boss, office politics and lack of career growth in current position. So I start looking for new job within company. First time in my LIFE I get interviews without job offers (I happen to be great at interviews and usually once I make it to interview stage, they want me) so start getting very despondent after I apply for and don't get TWO different positions.

I turned 30 and suddenly started thinking about babies. Because of all the job madness we decide to wait til Jan to start trying.

Part 2 to follow

Questions?