{Friendship Friday} Creating with friends

I read a not-so-great book (for me) recently about time management but I did want to mention something that was mentioned in the book.

If you want to see friends and do something, why not do those two things together?

• go shop together
• run errands together (I shudder!)
• organise your clothes together
• bake/ cook together

(now all these things I hate doing with other people but we get the gist)

I have tried inviting friends to events with me. A friend and I went to a Flamenco show together earlier this year, which was great - I would have gone anyway and it was time we were able to spend together. As an aside, we put in the offer on this house that same day :)

I've also hosted 3 crafternoons - 4 different friends came to those. I got photos done at two of those, and had a washi frenzy at another.

And best? They were all great times of connection (and food!) with friends.

I used to have a friend who I used to go to chick-flicks with, but we've kind of drifted. I need to get another one of those in my area. Maybe I can persuade you, Terisha? Either that, or we need to start our book club of two people :)

What kinds of things do you do with your friends?

5 updates for {Friendship Friday}

1. I've had two weekend plans with friends cancelled. What is going on? Last weekend I had a plan with 3 friends. When I jumped out of the shower after gym, 1 friend had cancelled (sick), the next one said she'd prefer to cancel too (power outage in their area) and the other said if I hadn't left yet, should we rather just postpone. I actually wanted to say, "no! let's still go" but I stayed and that's when I went wild, copying photo files onto disc for printing. I felt like I had to be super productive to make up for my missed lunch.

2. Tomorrow's one was also a last-minute one cancellation, completely understandable but always kind-of frustrating because it took a month of scheduling to find a suitable date. This is a work friend reach-out from my side, a big deal because I'd closed myself off to making friends at work. At the last company, you know I couldn't drag myself away from that company because of friends, so this is big, after a whole two years :) Do you make friends at work, or are you merely friendly there? Are you even friendly?


3. I'm the most free with socials I've been in ages. I have literally nothing on my agenda for the rest of this year. It feels strange and lovely, all at the same time. Strange because I usually have about 5 - 7 things on the go every month, and lovely, because summer heat means I actually want to do nothing but read and potter.

4. The telephone dates are working so well. I had two dates this month with friends which was just so lovely. It's a really nice way to keep in touch with my friends who live far away in Cape Town :)

5. The principle of reciprocity has meant that if friends don't also make the effort to reach out to me, I won't keep reaching out to them either. This has unconsciously been a big deal for me this year, to realise that actually things work both ways and it's not always up to me to 1) make the effort 2) do the inviting.



I actually read a blog post with friendship advice for adults and someone said, "when people invite you, go, otherwise they'll stop inviting you". I gasped!

What's been happening in your friendship life? What's working well? Any tips to share?

Just another Manic Monday

Today I was all raring to go in true Monday style.

Traffic was so awful I have no words. On the bright side, D drove. Because of said bad traffic, we detoured through parts of Jhb we don't normally drive and I got to take some pics of beautiful doors, driveways and streets.

And then.... I got to work and walked to my desk, and...

My laptop wasn't on my desk.

You know how your brain doesn't quite catch up?

I looked under my desk, all around... I even opened my drawers to check, knowing full well there is no space there for a laptop.

And then.

Oh my word, my laptop's been stolen.

Yes, it was locked. I have a longstanding habit of walking to my desk, putting down my laptop and the first thing is I insert the lock and twist the combination away so my code no longer shows.

My code is not that difficult to figure out though. It's since been changed.

So that's today's drama.

Amazing how everything you have to do to sort such a situation out all involve a computer!

"Log a call"
"Fill in this online form and no we can't print it for you to fill in the old-fashioned way" (audit trails and such)
"Send an email to your manager to approve capex for new laptop"

ALL involve a computer!

Now here's the thing:

I left at 3.45 on Friday, my colleague went back to the office at 7 pm and it was still there. She returned at about lunch time on Saturday and it was gone. She said she thought I'd come to work on Sat morning (as if!).

At the moment I'm using a loan laptop which I received after lunch, have to go to the police-station tomorrow to lodge a case (is that what they call it?) and then I can move forward with the new laptop application.

The security are busy pulling access card stats.....because of course, there's no security cameras at my desk (we know this from the pencil bag scenario).

So that was my Monday!

Tell me something GOOD about your Monday :)

On ageing physically... and exercise

I loved all your comments on my post about physical ageing.

Julia said something which I want to touch on.

I am more aware of twinges in my body...I have to say that I FEEL my age when I am sick. Recovery takes a lot longer. 

So true!

You all know the toe story. Well, praise God, it is 97% healed. There is a very slight twinge but it's mostly gone. Thank God. Seriously.

It has given me pause though.

I can keep up with those 16-year-olds in a Zumba class because I've always had strong legs and my fitness is good.

But apparently I can't in an abs class!

On Saturday I had to (well, I chose to - I need to write about my children and how they're annoying me but everyone has perfect kids so there's that) take an abs class that was 98% on the mat, and Oh My Word, I couldn't do half the exercises. I really felt my age. My knees are buggered, my back was killing me and I couldn't sneeze or cough on Sunday and Monday, I was so sore.

Seriously, they should have had personal trainers outside and I would have happily handed over my credit card. I need someone to whip this old body into shape. The trick is I need to go work out with a personal trainer for the social :) I HATE that kind of boring exercise even though it does work so I really have to feel like the person is nice and likeable and chatty enough to distract me from the extreme boredom of lifting weights, doing lunges and other such extremely boring things.

Speaking of Julia, we had a phone date the other night and I told her I pay Weigh-less to eat better, not really to lose weight. I know if I don't pay over my R185 a month, I will eat tons more junk (carbs and bread) so that accountability does the trick for me. I know that I have a habit of going to Weigh-Less on a Saturday morning so it keeps me from overindulging during the week.

Gretchen Rubin says the quicker we accept who we are, the happier we'll be. So true. I need that WL accountability to eat well 95% of the time, so off to WL I go. And now it seems I need to add personal training to that list.

Is this something else I'm going to have to come to terms with?

Fortunately I don't get sick with colds and flu-type things very often, and if i do, it's a half-day to 1 day and I'm good. I tell my 3 family members that it's because I eat, exercise moderately and sleep well :)

I do see with D (who has 4 years on me!) how long it takes to completely get rid of a cold.

I intended to write about ageing and emotions, but let's leave that for another day. I apparently had a lot to say :)

Do you need accountability for eating/ boring exercise?
Can you keep up with the 16-year-olds?

PS Oh, a fun thing! I was in George at a client last week, and the lovely receptionist and I got talking as I do, and she was telling me how she and her mom have a great relationship because she's still young....the mom is 43 (I'm 42). The receptionist is 19. Yes, people, that receptionist could have been my daughter!!!!!! Completely, because D and I have been married 21.5 years! FOR THE LOVE! (I didn't tell her this)

Decisions, decisions

I realised that I better get a post up here before I break my excellent habit of writing almost daily in August.

My brain is way too busy lately and I realised tonight I have three decisions to make:

what to do with the house
we're praying and confessing and and and.... there are two things - 1) I don't know that the agent is doing a very good job 2) "natural circumstances" says that it's not a seller's market right now.

So now my prayer is yes, send the right buyer and super quick, but also, should we rent it out? I am normally violently opposed to renting because people don't take care of places. I know you guys who read and rent are responsible, but you know you're in the minority, right?

Also, I need to stop believing everyone. After discussing this stuff with a work friend, I went online and did some research myself. Agent has told me I can basically only get people in for a year, but what if there are people who will rent my house for a short-term and move when it sells. This friend told me that I would get money and have other people stage our house for selling :)



what to do about exams
Spanish exams are mid-November. I have to decide by the end of this month if I'm doing it or not.

I have the same story as in June... I would have to do the exam by myself....which is such pressure in the actual exam.

But this examiner is divine! AND it's hot. Too hot for normal life, but hot for exams is awesome because that means nice, warm muscles and I feel like I can take on the world.

I have exactly 8 lessons left and while I don't think that's optimal, is it ever? I know everything except the dance which we started tonight. But the last dance was 2:12 in length; this one is 3:38. That's a hella lot of dancing. Even a 1:30 in Spanish leaves you breathless.

She did say tonight I don't have to do it but my problem is boredom. If I don't do this exam, I know I'll be bored within 1 month of next year and I can't imagine 5 months of the same thing over and over again.

Ideas? Advice?

Favourite activity during winter

It's no surprise at all that my favourite activity during winter is reading (with a mug of tea in hand).

And yet I listened to 2 of my 7 books this month.

Let's talk about those quickly.

When a Christian author releases a book, especially if it really resonates, I always feel from podcast interviews that I want to read it, but I know myself, and I don't usually enjoy reading many of those, except for the really great ones like Lysa Terkeurst.

But one morning I looked at my audible credits and there were 3, and so I thought let's see if the books are narrated by the authors.

Favourite audio voice

Looking for Lovely is narrated by Annie F Downs, the author. And she has a great voice. It feels like she's your friend, just talking to you.

So yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this book and now I'm thinking I should rather have listened to her others too.

Favourite (and only) re-read

The other audio is one of my favourite books, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up. I need to write about this one on the other blog but in essence, I think it's a great book to re-read (re-listen) to every year. I loved the refresh after moving into the new house. And bonus - I have a few new posts to write on Organising Queen. I also took notes in the car as opposed to sitting for hours afterwards re-writing from my bookmarks, and some of the things she says will make great printables for Instagram.

So win-win-win :)

Speaking of OQ, my how to pay off your bond posts start on Thursday. If you're not subscribed, make sure you don't miss them.

A read for women who feel guilty

Read The Fringe Hours. Again, I will write about this one on Organising Queen but I was mostly underwhelmed. That's not taking anything away from the book, but I have a really good handle on using my time well, which is exactly what you'd expect from a time management coach.



Favourite fiction reads

Always the Maeve Binchy. I loved this one, maybe more than I should have, because I read a later book months ago and it's so nice to get the background.

And a shout-out to The Bookshop on Rosemary Lane for having a really fiesty character, which always thrills me :)

How was August for you, reading-wise? Or hobby-wise? Or winter-wise?
What did you get up to?

Is anyone out there........... who is actually on audible? I got into audible in Jan 2015, and honestly, I'm not an early adopter but I am part of the next wave (slightly tested but still unknown to the masses), but it is now 20 months later and I feel like absolutely everyone I interact with is not on audible or into podcasts. For the love! How can this be?

I have one client who is into audible and podcasts so this delights my heart!

Friendship Friday - on hardening your heart

Oh hey, it's September. Some of you like the heat; I like taking photos of pretty flowers :)

How was your August?

Mine was mostly good - I talked about it here.

Despite the fact that our house is still not sold and Connor's little accident, #Augustwas still a good month. . We're settled in the new house and I'm not anxious about reversing my car down the hill that is my driveway 😳 . The kids tell me that they like the house so much they don't feel like going out to eat (BIG for my kids!). . I also celebrated a birthday! 🎉🎈🎉 . Lots of nesting/ pottering around the house, lots of reading, lots of tea-drinking and lots of capturing #everydaylife for #AugustBreak2016 which has been exactly what I needed to slow down and calm my soul. . . #10secondpullover #melrose

A photo posted by Marcia Francois (@marcia0608) on Sep 1, 2016 at 10:47pm PDT

Now, I want to talk about something that's been brewing for a good few months.

In a nutshell, and some of you know this, I was not one for female friends until the infertility struck. I was friendly but not a sharer/ girly type of person. D's my best friend and I didn't see the need for others.

And then I started making infertile friends and pregnant friends, and mother friends, and before you knew it, I had lots of friends.

And then some stuff happened last year and I lost a friend, and another relationship changed a bit too.

I suppose also the year of enough led me to stop just accepting any kind of behaviour, and firm up on my boundaries because I'm worth more.

As I tell my K often, you are a lovely child with a caring heart, and if so and so doesn't want to play, there are lots of other kids who would love to have a friend like you.

(then I hear myself talking and it seems I'm talking to myself!!!)

But a little side-effect happened. An unintended consequence, if you will.

I started keeping all my friends except just a few at an emotional distance. Because I learned (completely unconsciously) that when you open up and are vulnerable, and you're hurt, self-preservation says to not do that thing again that will hurt you.

In church a few months ago, and I'd get my church notebook but I'm lazy to go downstairs... the pastor spoke about hardening your heart in another context.

There are at least two things going on in church usually - the thing that the pastor is talking about, and other things God's talking to you about. Like a secret :)

And suddenly God was talking to ME about hardening my heart in friend relationships. Whoa!

There's no cute story to tie this all up, but just to put this out there that I'm aware... and while I'm being very careful with my marshmallow heart, I'm trying to keep just a little bit open where I know my heart can be trusted.

Have you hardened your heart because of relationship hurts?


PS the link just above referred to some questions I was going to write about weekly. And then I lost the page with the questions. When I packed up the house, I found my page again so now it's on my desk and I need to write those other blog posts.