1, 2, 3, blog: I love my camera

Friday, December 23, 2011

My fake family

So I was feeling fine about Kendra being in the hospital until I got there this afternoon and ... D and his mom are gabbing away. I took one look at Kendra and told the nurse to take her temp. Yes, 39.2. Way too high because she is in HOSPITAL. Then they moved it and put something new in her drip and 40 minutes later, she was looking better. I didn't even feel like I could fight properly with the nurses because D was supposed to be looking after her.

Of course, things went downhill from there. Tense me spoiled the mood. MIL left and Connor was crazy.

Connor had been BEGGING to go to the hospital the whole day (poor thing!) and was SO excited to see Kendra so I brought supper with us so we could all eat together.

Disaster.

Connor was too excited to see Kendra and understandably, wanted to see and touch her and the machines (with one finger!) and we kept having to say, "Connor, be gentle" and Kendra was doing the whining thing, "noooo, Connor, nooo. Only want Daddy" and so on.

And so my nice supper went to pot.

Here's where I need to stop and tell you about my fake family.

You all know my one friend calls me a Pollyanna which I am totally cool about. I do try to always look on the bright side.

Even with this hospital thing, K and I had a lovely day yesterday (as lovely as you can have in a hospital), talking, reading, looking at photos, eating, etc. and then when I got home, Connor said, "Connor MISSED Mummy!" with such passion my heart nearly burst from pure happiness.

So I've been thinking at least the 1:1 time is good.

And tonight I had visions of the four of us at least having a nice supper together, sitting on two beds, talking nicely, laughing together, not messing, saying goodnight and then switching roles - D going home with C and me overnighting with K.

You know, my fake family.

What actually happened was craziness, whining, screaming, 1, 2, 3-ing and not enjoying a single minute of it after the first, "HELLO CONNOR!" from Kendra.

That photo shoot last month was another example of me wanting my fake family to behave beautifully when of course, they've not at their best when it's that close to supper, baths and bedtime.

I saw this term "fake family" on a blog somewhere about 6 weeks ago and filed it away in the depths of my mental drafts folder.

It just describes perfectly the mismatch of my expectations vs reality.

I'm also posting this as a reminder to myself that I don't have a fake family and to have no or low expectations this Christmas weekend.

Really, if I emerge in one piece after all the to-ing and fro-ing which is a logistical nightmare when it's just the two of you plus a sick baby, I'll consider it success :)