When K was in the hospital and I was with her on Christmas Eve, my MIL came to visit.
She told me she's got a ton of pics from her mother (who died a few days before my kids were born) and doesn't know what to do with them.
So I suggested making a photo book.
In the talking about photos, she says something about the last time she got photos from us was age 15 months.
In a moaning and whinging kind of way.
This is true though.
I supposed I built up the expectation because I used to put pics on discs regularly and give copies to her, my mother, sister, father.
Except I just couldn't keep up with it any more.
It takes time to sort through and select pics, almost like making a photobook :)
I started when I was on maternity leave -
I can't believe how much time I had then - and managed for another year after I went back to work.
But then I stopped and would just select about 3 pics from each photo shoot (when they happened which is not that often), print them and hand them over, or now and again, put them in frames.
I told her all of this. That I can barely keep up with sorting the photos for us, let alone doing for others.
But then she says, "so I just went onto your Facebook and downloaded pics of the latest photo shoot, the one with all the buildings behind you".
Yes.
The Newtown shoot
The one I'd made photobooks from for their
Christmas gifts.
Aside from that small fact, I very nearly lost it (thank goodness K was asleep and we were talking quietly - I am still a sleep Nazi).
My one friend told me FB's always had the functionality for people to download other people's pics. Maybe they've just made it super obvious now with a big
Download photo button?
But I felt very uncomfortable and weird and unsettled and many more
un words.
Surely it's wrong to just download pics off someone's FB profile?
Meanwhile, I think Jeanette (photographer)'s pics come up on my profile if she tags me because I didn't upload any except one or two for the profile pic.
I have never downloaded photos like this. I like to think if someone wants me to have it they'll give it to me, or I ask.
My one friend (the one who takes weird pics of doors and windows like me) puts his travel pics on FB.
I've messaged him before to say "I MUST have a copy of this one, PLEASE" and once next time they saw us, they brought me pics (looking at those those blue doors and window = instant happiness) and the other time, he Skyped me and sent me the file while we were talking.
Don't you love technology?
She told me exactly how she did it without any shame and I just tried to move on with the conversation.
So of course on Christmas, when we gave her the photobook, she was like, "oh thanks" in a less-than-enthusiastic way because she already had the pics.
Yes, that gift that was truly a gift of love (and a heck of a lot of time) went over like a lead balloon.
I was so upset.
But wait. There's more :)
MIL and SIL came over after K was discharged, saw the framed pics of the other photo shoot and start saying they want ALL those pics too.
I can't remember what happened but I am not giving them everything.
Is it me or is it them?
I feel that's so ballsy to just say (demand) pics. We're paying for the shoots and it's our pics. We're not selfish with the prints (or are we?) because I give them a few, in my view the best ones anyway.
I asked my one friend, Roz, who has tons of photo shoots done, what she does with her family and she said she prints off 3 - 5, gives it to the grandparents, and that's it. Her family are much more well-mannered than mine though because they don't ask for more, or the whole disc!
To be fair, my own mother would never be that forward. And her reaction was exactly what I wanted. When our present arrived, she phoned to say thank you, exclaimed how beautiful the pics are and was truly delighted.
Seriously, what do you think of this whole thing? What do you do for family when you get photos from photoshoots?
