Schools and pushing reading... and so on

Seeing as it's school feedback time, I remembered something I wanted to talk about last year but I never bothered to blog about it.

However, I knew Mandy and I bantered just a little back and forth so I looked for that email and found it.

Right.

So here's the thing.

My kids love reading and writing.



They've known their alphabets since they were 2 (all Nanny V; nothing to do with us!) and spot things when we're out and about.

I asked the one teacher (Grade R teacher - that's Kindergarten, I think?) when kids learn to read and she said grade 1.

At ALL schools?

Yes.

If we "push" them to read or strongly encourage too much, they're just going to be bored in Grade 1 because that's the first time they read.

All schools do this - even the private schools.

Right....



Our South African kids go to Grade R in the the year they turn 6, and to Grade 1 in the year they turn 7. That feels late for me.

I didn't know how to feel since we've never pushed our kids with anything (except manners - I have to admit!) academic or sports, etc. (I have other rants about this but let's stick to the topic)

So I asked an ex boss who has SUPER clever kids (like seriously!) if his kids were reading before Grade 1 and what they did.

He said they've always let the kids progress at their own rate and they just told them to be respectful in class and not disturb/ be those awful know-it-all kids but then at home, they would provide books, etc. at a level that challenged them so they could enjoy their free time.

So that was interesting.

That's South Africa.

I can't imagine where the kids get their love of books from :)

In the UK (please if I have any UK readers, feel free to correct me), the kids start school at 4 (babies!!) and my one friend who teaches there, said it's amazing that kids just do the stuff. They can do these things at such a young age. Like reading!!!

Then again, she told me that UK kids' gross motor development is behind that of our kids. So interesting. Another ex-client (now friend) of mine who lived there with his family for about 8 years before moving back home said the same thing. Apparently our outdoor lifestyle works to our kids' favour for this skill set.

Anyway, the point is this - what do you make of this reading thing?

Are you/ Did you push your kids to read earlier than necessary? What are your thoughts on all this "being bored in grade 1" business?

PS Next up we're going to talk about "holding kids back". Also, sorry for all the " " - I'm clearly in a rant-y sort of mood.

Very reluctantly pulling my head out of the sand about school!

Some of the getting out of limbo stuff kind-of happened and gave me a good kick-start.

Our pre-school goes up to Grade R so kids can stay there if the parents prefer... or go straight to Grade R at the school they'd go to for Grade 1.

We took K to an opthalmologist last year because D was worried about something she sometimes does with her one eye...(the doctor said there was no concern, just as I said) and in conversation, he said that his son stayed at the pre-school for Grade R and had some trouble adjusting when he went to Grade 1, so with his next one, he would put the child in Grade R at the school of choice to make the adjustment easier.

That was interesting for us to hear. Granted, a focus group of 1 but still.

(I really hate talking about schools since everyone has such strong opinions about it - it's like the breastfeeding/ bottle-feeding scenario X 100.... so I never consciously talk about it if I can help it)

So I emailed my friend with the twins and asked her if she was going to put the girls in a school next year or leave them at our pre-school.

She said she wants them to go to Grade R at the "big" school.

Anyway, in our discussions, she told me that a school in our suburb was having their open day. This was last Sat.

We went... met them there actually... and found that the mother of one of the kids in Connor's class is actually the one Grade R teacher. Her kids are a good ad for her because they're both really nice, well-mannered kids.

Visiting the school was a wonderful experience.



We were met at the gate by a lovely Grade 7 - well-spoken, friendly and unflustered despite us chasing after the kids every few minutes. This child escorted us around the school, to the Grade R classes, library, sports facilities and then to the hall for all the administration.

Each family was shown around by a Grade 7 and really, they were all lovely.

Both D and I had a really nice feeling about the school. Well-organised but still caring about the kids, etc.

So we're applying to this one.

For the benefit of my non-SA friends, a quick run-down as I understand it, because in "my day" and circumstances (coloured schooling in another province) things were not as crazy as they are here in Jhb and post 1994!!!

There are private schools - these cost a fortune but vary in their prices and beliefs. This stuff I know nothing about but apparently some are good if you're Catholic, some don't care about religion, some are focussed on well rounded kids, etc. Those who are experts on the private schools please comment!

There are some starting at R40 000 a year, some at the R70 000 mark (our nearest Christian private school) and some at R100 000 a year (very poncy one near my work).

I gather that the key benefit is a small children: teacher ratio. I heard from my friend that the school they have their hearts set on (private school) has a class size of 15 kids.

Then you get government schools and these vary all over the place too - really nice ones and some not-great ones.

The one we went to look at is subsidised about 50% by the government, and costs about R18 000 for the year. I can't remember the exact amount but I know it's less than what we currently pay.

Of course I'm not counting the extras but every school has these.



With one private school (poncy one near my work - Robyn, your friend's kid goes there :)) the extras were never optional, e.g. whether you like it or not, your child WILL come on a class trip and you WILL pay the R5000 even if your family has other commitments.......... actual experience from a colleague.

The school we looked at has a class size of 28.

We have to go see another government school in May (another really good one in the area) and we need to agree on a date to visit one private school (we missed the open day) - a Christian one but about 14 km away from our home. This is not a huge distance by Jhb standards but it is by mine (you all know I hate driving, traffic, etc.....)

The government schools have this "zoned" business. The street we live on runs across a main road. We are on the other side of the main road so we're 3 houses outside of the zone of the school we visited. Technically they have to take kids within the zone first (I think this is how it works???) and they can then consider those outside the zone if there are still places.

People are very passionate about these things.

I know one friend who really wanted her kids in a particular government school. They sold the house where they were living, consciously buying a house within the zone to make sure they get into the school. It worked - boy 1 is there already and boy 2 will go there next year.

Maybe I'm lazy, maybe I'm naive but I'm not willing to go to those lengths just for a school. Unless I love the house and was looking to move anyway.

I spoke to another colleague at work and she was saying things I actually believe too.

Her kids go to good government schools and she pays for extra maths tutoring for one son. Now that makes sense to me.

Pay R2000 a month and pay an extra R1000 for tutoring, rather than R6000 and you may still have to pay for that extra tutoring.

I'm also not convinced that what parents intend is necessarily what comes out of a private school, otherwise Excos of all companies would be privately schooled individuals, right?


I feel like I'm the only person who feels this way - we could pay for private schooling (if I remain employed :)) BUT I'm not sure that private schooling is all that great except for the smaller class size.

I actually want my kids to be exposed to lots of diversity - not only of race but also of class. It goes against everything inside me to think of them only associating with kids who've known every privilege in life...

Pre-1994 we all went to school with kids who looked exactly like we did. These days we're mixing in terms of race but now it's the haves and the have-nots.

I don't have the answers; I'm just sharing what's on my heart.

Anyway, where do you stand on all this stuff?
Where are your kids going to school? Are you sorted for next year?
How did you make the decision?

PS I do realise that no one school is going to completely satisfy me. Thank you, Julia, for that life lesson shared in Chef Pon's :)
PPS also, be gentle. I'm not judging anyone.

The school debate 1- my schooling background

I haven't even written the post and I know there's going to be more than one part :)

This is a topic I've wanted to talk about on the blog for a long, LONG time.

Homeschooling vs public school (government school is what we call it in SA) vs private school.

Or maybe not versus. We'll see.



But first I want to write about my schooling. Because it very obviously influences my feelings and decisions.

I'm also going to use terms like white, black and coloured on my blog. While I don't see people based on skin colour (hello, I'm in a mixed marriage!), the fact of the matter is this is South Africa and especially pre-1994, colour was how we were defined.

I know lots of people think that all those issues are a thing of the past... it's not. It's a lot more prevalent in certain parts of the country though.

Anyway, back to my story.

I'm a coloured girl from the eastern cape and so of course I went to government primary and high schools in my community.

At that point in SA, that was the thing to do. You went to the nearest school to your house or maybe one a few minutes further.

My primary school was less than a 5-minute walk from my house and my high school was a 10-minute walk or a 7-minute run if I was late. There were 3 schools within that radius. I went to the furthest because it was the best of the 3.


Coloured people did not go to "white" schools (I'm soooo apolitical but I think we weren't allowed to? Someone tell me...). In my standard 9 or matric year, we had two black girls join our school. This was huge. We just didn't have any contact with other race groups. By the way, I happened to become very close friends with the one girl.

Anyway, since I didn't know there was anything different out there, that was my life.

I was top of the standard (8 classes per grade of about 30 kids) for three of my high school years and second for the other two years. Interestingly enough, the guy who was first those two years (and second the other years) and I ended up working at the same company early on in my career. We both ended up in financial services! Here! In Jhb! 11 hours away from our city. Don't you find that freaky? I did - I could NOT believe it was him!!!

I didn't know if I lacked anything educationally because it just wasn't an option.

Let me also add that even if the racial thing didn't exist, there was no way my parents would have been able to afford a white school anyway. We grew up with very little. Again, I knew others had more but I was on about the 60th - 70th percentile of everyone around me financially so it was all very normal.

One day I should tell you the degrees of coloured as explained to me by a coloured guy at work. It is HILARIOUS and true!

 

So then I decided to go to Rhodes University.

My marks were very good. Good enough to get one of the few bursaries for science at that point (it may have changed since but in those days there were about 3 corporates offering just a few bursuries for science).

A lot of the kids who matriculated with me weren't able to afford university tuition. I think there were two of us who went to Rhodes, (one hour away) one or two to UCT (about 8 hours away?), a good bunch to UPE and Vista (local universities) nd then some went to PE Tech and a lot (more than half) just couldn't afford any tertiary education.

At the time I was very self-centred as only a 17-year-old can be so I didn't even care about anyone else's career goals or dreams. I'm a lot different now.

So when I got to Rhodes the wheels fell off.

Suddenly instead of being number 1 or 2 out of 250 kids, I was surrounded by very clever kids from all over the country, and a lot of them were SUPER clever.

I had a lot of adjusting to do (I think I'm still getting used to not always being the clever one :)) realising that I wasn't that clever after all!

I won't bore you with a step-by-step walk through my life but the point of all that was to say this -

Even though I went to a coloured school I still ended up in a good space in life.

I've worked hard at my jobs and while I'm not where I thought I would be (topic for another post) - you know, CEO  :) - I've done well. Certainly very well for a coloured girl from the community I grew up in! This is both as a result of God's grace on my life but also a few other factors

Then there are other people who have had all the privileges in life - good schools, private schools, who have not done as well.

By the way, by well, I don't necessarily mean financially. I mean making good life decisions, etc.

At a previous company they accessed some research that said the factor that creates success in life was not only education. Please note I'm not saying education is not important - it is. Things like drive, tenacity, commitment, determination, good interpersonal skills, resilience those sorts of things that I do have - are the real factors of success.

Interestingly enough, there is another girl from my high school class who is doing verrrry well here in Jhb and yet she was very average at school. I was 1st and she was about 18 out of that class of 32. But she is a real go-getter, has excellent people skills, etc.

I'm sure you also know people like this?

And then I also know people at work who went to really expensive good schools in Jhb who are not all that awesome in the workplace. They're average workers.

Of course there are people on the other end of the spectrum too.

This is just the background but informs why I don't think going to the fanciest, most expensive school predicts absolutely anything in life.

I really believe it's those other things.

So, tell me about your story. What was your schooling background like? Any other people who had school backgrounds similar to mine?

PS You're very welcome to ask me anything in the comments - I won't take offence.