It was so interesting.
The one guy said to the other that he wouldn't accept his friendship request on Facebook (no offense and all that!) because they're not really friends, they just work on one or two projects together.
This other guy thought it was hilarious and crazy.... (imagine if they were girls!)
Guy 1 then said that he considers friends people who come to his house, they know his daughter and wife, and he trusts them to be there for him practically and otherwise if he might need them.
Guy 2 was like "everybody is my friend"
It was so interesting.
At the time, I said that I think of it as circles of friends: 3 am friends, work friends, Facebook friends, school friends, restaurant friends, mothers' group friends and so on.
And obviously 3 am friends are different to Facebook friends because while you click LIKE on posts with Facebook friends, you share your heart with 3 am friends. It's more superficial with people who you don't let into your inner circle.
Guy 1 agreed but said he's sticking with his method. I then agreed with him and said that it is certainly easier and more straightforward his way, because I have mixed up the circles of friends and been hurt as a result, which totally proves his point.
Also, guys are so black and white with this stuff, isn't it?
Actually I shouldn't generalise because from previous conversations, some of you are too :)
Tell me about your friendship circles.
Will you accept all Facebook friend requests?
I used to accept much more FB requests but now I make sure I actually know the person well enough to talk to, or they engage with me a bit in comments, messages, etc.
I accept a large variety of friends in fb...but only my very special people have my phone number. You won't find my number anywhere online either.
ReplyDeleteAHA! So the phone number is the key to your heart :)
DeleteI go back and forth on facebook friends. I aim to keep it small and to people that I interact with often in some form or the other, but I do also have extended family on there that I don't talk to at all...so it's whack.
ReplyDeleteI'm working on friendship definitions in general though, I've realised that I tend to see most 'friends' as 3am folks, when they're not really. Social media has both made friendships easier&harder...there's an artificial closeness that happiness, sometimes it turns into the real deal, but more often than not it doesn't.
What a great point about social media friendships. Easier because it's so instantaneous and harder because you might think you're closer than you are. Great comment, Cassey. Thanks!
DeleteI do not accept friend requests if the person is not one of three things !. Someone I talk to , an old school friend that I remember clearly or a blogging friend - then also mostly if I have met you or if I have read your blog for a long time and you mine. I regularly will get a request, maybe ask where I know you from and if I don't I just delete the request. In fact I had a very odd thing happening a few weeks ago about this - will do a blogpost later.
ReplyDeleteOh and I do a clean out every now and again
Oh and love the purple wall pic
DeleteCafe Mexicho, opposite Bambanani!
DeleteI only delete when I get birthday notifications and realise I don't really know the people :)
DeleteI consider the people I still make contact with after having deleted my Facebook and Twitter profiles, friends. Some are closer than others.
ReplyDeleteThat is true - and wow, how brave to delete your SM profiles :)
DeleteWhen I first joined FB, I was very discerning about the friend requests I accepted. Now I'm much more relaxed about it. I take it for what it's worth...and occasionally I make a "real" friend out of a [long-lost] FB friend. There's definitely the risk, as you said, but I usually find there's the upside to balance it.
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, you probably know J is not on FB. I have encouraged him in the past, saying how many of his former students would probably love to connect with him. He's adamantly opposed, though. He is a 3am friend or bust. ;)