I did it

The baby shower was today and I helped organize the guest list, eats and so forth. Because I’m probably the best person to do so in the department, just because I’m organised.

I went to check the venue, seating and eats 15 minutes before the time and wasn’t planning to stay but I thought I’d sit right near the door to make a quick escape if I needed to.

I did start crying twice but I just clenched my lips, blinked to get rid of the tears and focussed. Well, the first time, it was because she started crying. She said “oh my word.. this is such a surprise. I can’t believe it” and she burst out crying. And so did I.

And then the second time was with the baby clothes. I have now noticed that I don’t mind seeing other baby items – anything really. But it’s the clothes that get me.

I’m busy decluttering big-time at home and I came across a storage box labeled Baby Stuff. Do you know what’s in there? Stuff from when I thought we were reproductively normal. I’d be shopping for baby showers and get an extra outfit for the baby (I thought) I’d be pregnant with soon. We are also both big readers and when I used to go to the bookstore, I’d buy children’s books for our baby. Of course hanging onto hope and thinking, “next month I’ll be pregnant”. So the box has some baby clothes, some books and some baby toiletries.

Anyway I said all that to say… I’m proud that I did it! But I can't say I'll do it again. It also helped that this was at work so we only had 1 hour, no fussing and not too much sentimentality.