MIL & other Friday updates

I am definitely not 2kg lighter - there is something wrong with that scale :)

Thanks for all the support on the new blog.

And, sadly, the great romance is not to be. I heard yesterday that he knows who it is and is not into her. Poor girl.

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Okay, so remember this post about how little time my MIL spends with the babies?

Well, I've always said the comments are GOLD - if you don't read the comments, you really should :)

What I like to do is subscribe to the comments of posts I'm interested in on blogs I read and blogger conveniently sends them to me by email. Because I almost never go back on a blog to check what other people have to say.

Anyway, a dear reader emailed me rather than posting in the comments because she had such a lot to say. Rachel often does this and I love emailing back and forth with her - she is very wise and totally not cared about what people think which I always love.

I asked her if I could share and she was okay with it. I have removed personal bits about her family. The V is broken on her keyboard :)

Read this:

just read the question about the MIL. Some things to consider, she might not be a "toddler person" just like you are not an "infant person".

Also, just from experience, L (Rachel's baby) is totally NOT a people person. T's parents see her weekly or more at church, and ha^e interacted with her since birth - yet she still cries if either of them pick her up, will hide her face, or stare at them stoicly. When we go to their house, it sometimes takes an hour for her to "warm up", less time if they come here.

On the other hand, she sees my dad (who li^es next door) almost daily, and still often gi^es him the "cold shoulder" for 10 minutes or so before warming up. Based on the e^ents at Preschool (and other things you ha^e said) - I would guess Connor may not gi^e granma much more than a passing glance (e^entually, he will grow out of it - somewhere between 2 1/2 and 4 - as he remembers e^ents after they happen, so that each encounter is built on the one before rather than seeming like a brand new experience for him each time) and that's not totally great for a Gramma ego.

On the other hand, Kendra appears to be more of a social butterfly. If Gramma is not into toddlers, her constant chatter and attention may seem like hours after only 30 minutes. This doesn't mean that she doesn't want to see them ... it just means she feels exhausted because she isn't in rhythm with them. E^entually, they will get to know each other and she will make her ^isits longer, and if she doesn't, she may be trying to force herself into a mould of what she expects a "granma to be" rather than being herself.

How many kids did she raise? How "hands on" of a mom was she? She may not know how to beha^e because of how strict you are with them ... as in, it's not the way she thinks, so for her it's like being in the ocean to swim, when she's use to being in a backyard pool. E^en a good swimmer from a pool, will find themsel^es tired after being in the ocean for a short while. ... and on the other hand, If you are use to the ocean ... a backyard pool may seem boring and tame.

(Think about her personality ... and allow her to be herself. And remember, she raised the guy you lo^e ... she must of done something right. Right?)

I love, love, love this email because it challenged me to be more open-minded.

My MIL raised two kids WITH a lot of help even though she was SAHM. She is not a very hands-on person at the best of times and prefers to read rather than do anything else.

I do know she was a little miffed when Connor wouldn't kiss her at Christmas............ even after I told her he won't kiss us either (now he's Mr Kissy himself... slightly worrying).

She is definitely an I so I'm sure the kids' constant talking would drain her.

Speaking of I's, my friend, Nat, is constantly amazed at how much my kids talk and she said, "it's probably because you talk so much to them. D and I can play for hours without talking" LOL - I love it :)

I don't think our strictness is a deterrent as she likes to know exactly when to do what - I was told to leave detailed notes for her and she texts me if she's unsure :)

The best thing Rachel said was this - Think about her personality ... and allow her to be herself.

Amen!

Thank you, Rachel, for being honest and for challenging me. I appreciate you.

There were TONS of comments from people with similar stories on my original post - does Rachel's email help you too?

P.S. Blackhuff, can you somehow attach your email to your comments? I can't reply back to you but I so appreciate hearing from you!