Ha - my standards are low these days.
Anyway, I want to talk about comparison.
This has come up 4 times for me recently:
1. Our podcast club had this come up as a question on our parenting, like do you compare yourself with other mothers in your parenting?
Both of us said no. Great!
Do you compare yourself in that way? How?
2. Then, I listened to this podcast and this guest said her reading had started to feel competitive because of Instagram. Like you start judging the books you read - are they cool enough, literary enough, up to date enough?
I get that. I don't care what Instagram followers think but I realised that I actually don't listen to that very podcast because I compare myself to those guests and feel like my reading is not literary enough.
Then I started listening again.
Really weird.
3. Design Mom linked to this post where he talks about the way to be happier.
Do you know what that is?
To think like a bronze medalist and not like the silver one. The thinking is that when you're the silver medalist you compare up, and say "oh, I missed the gold. I should have been faster" but when you're the bronze medalist, you compare down so you're grateful to place 3rd.
I, of course, thought of instagram, which is the gold medal. Everything is perfect and all are in the top 1% of experiences - perfect holidays, houses, clothes, families, etc.
We look at that perfection and we're unhappy because we don't have that - or maybe you have.
What we should do is think about all the things we do have that others don't. Some people don't even have houses, families, jobs, money for new clothes, etc.
It all comes down to perspective but it's a great reminder.
4. And then this post.
This post says that basically we're confident until we compare. That's also true.
We've all had instances where we were quite happy with a situation and then we found out more information (someone else's salary, job title, what they drive, etc.) and then suddenly we're unhappy with our lot.
Tell me what you think.
Do you battle with comparison?
Yes and no. I do compare and beat myself up over it, but I tend to compare to myself where I was or where I thought I would be.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I care very little about what other people think of me unless they are important to me. Couldn't be bothered to try and impress random strangers. ;-)
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ReplyDeleteI do, because I think it is hard not to. But on real life stuff - not social media stuff. I simply do not care about how many followers and that type of things. Also I read what I want.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely difficult not to compare but it depends on what it leads to. When I younger I compared (a lot!) and that was part of what spurred to be an over achiever school wise. But as I have gotten older I don't really care. Definitely don't compare on Social Media because I know it is a very tiny snippet of real life. While I don't care if someone drives a bigger car or owns a bigger house I do always wish I have a bigger rolling garden just because it would be fun but of course I don't want the expense that goes with it :)
ReplyDeleteI learnt things are not always as they seem! You know how in Uni you think ha that couple have a "perfect" relationship and then you find out it's an abusice relationship etc so i learnt early
I very very rarely compare. Probably because I have very different interests and likes and am so "old-fashioned" that the fancy things in life don't impress me. I also have had so experiences like the one Mrs FF mentioned where you discover that things are not always what they seem.(maybe its my weird memory but its crazy how often you find this happening) I am happy to live in my own lane, own pace, own race. What does irk me though (and I am trying to change this) is when someone competes with me. I just don't get it. I feel like life is so short and its such a waste to do things that you don't enjoy or buy things just to keep up with someone else. You have to stay true to who you are. And speaking about staying true to yourself, that is one of the things I admire so much about you.
ReplyDeleteI personally feel that comparison happens mostly with men because I think that they're more "materialistic" (generalisation I know - but just my opinion) than women are. I feel that women can see that somebody has something bigger or Bette but still focus on the benefits that she/family are getting from the smaller or less flashier thing they have. Having said that,I do have moments when I compare but then I remind myself that there'll always be people better off and there'll always be people worse off than me, and unfortunately in our country, there are loads more worse off than me/us, so I look at what I have as a real blessing :-)
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