How I celebrated my 40th birthday in 10 easy steps

Okay, that's a little bit simplistic but I want to (try) keep things short and to the point.

1. I agonised about inviting friends.

name tags made with Artsyville washi tape

2. I ordered food from a caterer. For those who are interested, chicken biryani. YUM! My favourite meal :) And cakes from Pick and Pay. You guys, this business of fancy cakes is way overrated. One cake at PnP = R45. Boom!

one of the three tables (this one had the best light :))

3. I decided on a blue/ green theme. This was the fun part.

Same way as with the kids' party when I went around the house pulling all green, yellow and brown items, I did the same thing and went around the house pulling all the blue and green things together.



4. I spent a lot of time on party favours. I know it's not necessary but it's my thing, okay? I knew that everybody who turned up would be very special friends and I wanted to honour them, so I put together a (very nice) party bag with 3 of my favourite things (can you guess what those are?) plus a hand-written and individual thank-you card.


5. I had a guest book. The same one I started at my 30th and promptly forgot about for the last 10 years. I love this idea because I love love LOVE reading what people wrote (as you know, cards are a dying art form but this friend wrote me the most beautiful card ever). Thanks Caren!

6. I think everyone had a good time. I certainly did. My one friend (this one below) sent me the longest, best SMS ever saying what a lovely, diverse group of friends I have and it was SO interesting talking to them.



7. I only took photos when Caren reminded me to do so :) which means I was in the moment and very present. Then I whipped around with my camera.

Mrs FF took lots of pics - probably more than I did!

8. There were lots of presents and two gift vouchers! I must tell you, I also received a pair of pyjamas which I've been LIVING in ever since we returned from Ballito.

 9. I remembered right at the end to ask D to take photos of me with the kids, and then Connor and I went on a photo walk. That night I hit 10 000 steps :)
 


10. Of course I celebrated my actual birthday in Ballito. Best decision ever. I thoroughly recommend it. Being right at the beach is so restorative!

My mother was with me on my birthday for the first time since I was 17........... yes, that's a long time, so that was very special. Incidentally, I realised when my father phoned that he still calls me "Poppet". I had a moment when I was thinking, "Really? Should a 40-year-old woman still be called poppet?" but it's so fun and always makes me smile, so I guess it's a yes. What does your father call you?

All in all, a great birthday!

And thank you all again for all the birthday wishes and unexpected presents!!!!

I was/ am very blessed.

This was my word for the day on the 6th.

Here is your word for today:

Verse:       Isaiah 26:1

In that day, everyone in the land will sing this song: 'Our city is strong! We are surrounded by the walls of God's salvation.'

- God's plan for you is that you would know His strength in your life.
- He wants to bring you to this place.
- It's a place where you know that you are surrounded by Him.
- May you be strong, knowing that He surrounds you with salvation!

PRAYER: Lord, I pray that You will bring me to that place where I know that You have strengthened me and surrounded me with the hope that only comes from You. Amen.

Thank you, I receive that!

#shine
#marciaturns40

Next year, I'm going back to small lunches again! Otherwise, ONE very big celebration like a holiday :) (this is how it starts)

I can honestly say I have absolutely NO issues with being 40. None.

What is the alternative? Death?

I'm grateful for a healthy body that can dance and put 16-year-olds to shame (although it takes me longer to recover but shhh, they don't know that), that does whatever I need it to do, that can go on photowalks to see God's amazing beauty and that can chase my kids around in the garden til they squeal with delight.

I praise you, Lord, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made Ps 139:14

Do you have issues with ageing?

In exactly 1 month's time I turn 40

I've been stressing about what to do for my 40th.

For starters, I'm well aware that

1) this is a gift of free time that won't always be there and I want to use it well
2) a 40th should be a bit more special than a normal birthday, and I always celebrate those ones anyway
3) it's also a bit frivolous to spend HUGE amounts of money seeing as I'm partially living off my business and some savings

Then I had these additional thoughts:

• I want lots of friends around me - lunch or supper here?
• My absolute ideal (STILL!) was always to have a birthday at a house on the beach with friends doing friend-y things - connection, food, photos, etc. (BTW, I want to organise a South African photography retreat like this. Does this type of thing speak to anyone?)
• The more likely version - my family at the beach

What I always envisioned for my 40th was having these 5-year-old cuties (okay, I have those) and having a night-time party with a Marcia-type theme, but still relaxed, nice food, etc.

I somehow imagined this at my old work campus but since that is not an option, it all kind-of fell apart.

So I decided on Ballito for a few days and a lunch at home for friends on the weekend before.

Except.... D's company is launching some stuff the week after my birthday so that is crazy time. They weren't sure of dates for a long time but last week it was confirmed and it won't work out for him to take leave. Basically we'd hardly see him because he'd be working all the time.

After I asked in that post if I'm mad to think of going alone with the kids, and got all your opinions, I got quiet and said to myself, "what would have to happen for me to SHINE?" and clearly, I would have to go.

A twin mother from the infertility group once said YEARS ago that she drove down to Dbn when the babies were 6 months old, and since then she's felt super confident. If she could do that with twins, then she could do anything.

I kind-of feel like that.

So I've booked our flights, paid for our accommodation and will be celebrating my birthday on the beach in Ballito.

Louisa's comment gave me pause so I asked my mother if she'd like to come too. She was keen at first but wanted to bring my niece (3) with her, and I said NO. It's supposed to be a holiday for me; I don't want MORE kids than I need to have. She understood (and understands me) so now she's checking on some work requirements especially since she's actually on leave at the moment (!) and will get back to me.

Either way, we'll be fine, right??? It will just be nice for the Granny: Grandkids quality time and also to get some help with food/ washing dishes.

So now MY party planning needs to kick into high gear. Eeek!

What is the ideal way you'd like to spend your next birthday?

78% and 40th birthday ideas?

Well, 78% is a lot more than I thought I got around to last month.

I did put "resign" as the first goal :) to start off the month with a bang.

And then we had a holiday and a 19-year anniversary at the end so a good finish to the month.

Highlights:

1. Read 9 books! Discovered TWO new Irish authors - Pauline Lawless and Claire Allan - I read two books by each, and have another 1 each on the Kindle waiting for me.
2. Left work with grace and dignity (at least I think so)
3. DIVINE holiday
4. Tried two new recipes (but I can't remember them - I marked them off when I did them and now I can't even think of it....)
5. Two friend dates
6. Really, really good financial news
7. Finally made an album from 2008 UK & Ireland, and 2009 Ireland holidays. For this alone I feel like a rock star :) Singapore and Australia next up!

By the way, D was the one who voted for the mountains. Cat was right. Apparently they "centre" him :) (And I did my weekend to-dos).

In other news, my blog comments are not all coming through - I only noticed when Robyn said how she liked Laura's comment on the superhero post, and then I checked emails again... nothing... so went to the actual blog. Right, there they are.

I'm also replying to some comments on the actual blog...



Right, so onto May's goals.

I have 30.... a lot of them are business-y which you're not interested in.

My main focus is to get my health and fitness back. To this end:

1. lose 2 kgs
2. gym 8 times and Spanish 4 times
3. start drinking my 2 L a day again (oh, it's difficult in the cold)
4. one extra veg/ salad serving
5. sleep 7 hours a night (I've already fallen into bad habits of staying awake til 1 am or later, and sleeping til 8 - 9)

(hopefully 2, 3 and 4 will make 1 happen)

There are 2 months left before the babies turn 5 (FIVE!!!!!) so I need to get the photo for the invite, and 3 months exactly til my 40th, and I have no idea how to celebrate mine.

Come on, you guys, suggestions please (that will suit me and the middle of winter)....

photo by Jeanette Verster

And then I have a ton of photo goals, like the holiday photos and so on.

What's on your list for May?

Please just share 3 things in the comments... and "survive" is a perfectly legit goal :)

A bit down/ 40th

It's very strange for me to feel so blah about life but I really, really, REALLY want July to be over.

I know I can just "shake things off" and yes, I'm trying but there's this pervasive feeling of stress and anxiety lurking in the background.

I really feel like my website being hacked "knocked me for a six" and more than that, wondering where my resilience is. This type of thing wouldn't even have shaken me before and look at me now.

Also I did the budgets last night (on time for a change) and while our personal budget is seriously looking good (and actually balances - no missing money!) the business one is terrible.

From a purely business perspective I could easily just stop the whole thing BUT and this is the thing... I know that God gave me a vision for speaking encouragement and inspiring action to hundreds and hundreds of women. If I take a moment, I can close my eyes and see it plain as day.

I know that is my destiny.

And there's nothing in life that scares me more than not fulfilling my potential. Nothing.

I am trying to be faithful with my gifts.

But yet the question is - am I really making a difference if no-one's being impacted? Of course not. So what's the point?

And I can't justify all the time, effort, energy and money if there's such a small return.

I think I'm doing all the things that people say to do. Marketing regularly, providing good content, etc.

I know a lot of this introspection is also because my birthday's coming up in a mere 13 days and it's a good chance to do some soul-searching, adjust goals and correct the course of my life.

When I turned 30, I had a party and sent around a book for people to write notes in. A friend wrote something like "only 30 and already you've done so much".

That was cute at the time but I now feel "nearly 37 and what have you done the last 7 years?"

(except for the babies, that is)

*sigh*

There is no point to this bit of the blog post except to say, if you pray, please pray for me. I could use some encouragement and/ or clarity/ wisdom.

Thanks.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who thinks so much about fulfilling her potential and making a difference. I know I'm not, I just feel that way because not many people talk about this stuff.

Do you think about these things?

************************************

D was still way too sick to take care of the kids by himself on Sat and wanted me to cancel my colleague's 40th but I just can't do that. I know how annoying it is when people RSVP yes and don't pitch, even with valid excuses, and I really wanted to just be there for her.

So I sent my MIL a text "from D" in his tone and language (no frills, just the facts :)) and of course she agreed to come "help him" with the babies.

While I was giving the kids their breakfast I realised we were totally out of bread (we ate my last two hot cross buns from the freezer) so I did a run to the shops. I thought I may be late for my 10:30 hair appt only to find out that it was a 10:00 appt and I was in Pick & Pay at 9:55.

I phoned and she said she could do me at 10:30 too so I whizzed around tossing food into the trolley, paid and raced to the hairdresser.

Raced home, dressed, raced to the venue.

About 5 minutes away from home I realised I'd forgotten my present so raced back, got present and again raced to the venue, our beautiful building at work.

I hope I'm still working there when I turn 40 because I am so having my 40th function there too.

It is just such a magnificent building.

Of course I was a little late and she made a comment which didn't land properly with me.

(a cute thing I learned on the course on Friday was the word "land" - how is that "landing" with you? :))

She does score low on the intrapersonal scale (I'm not fantastic on that scale either btw) but I sat and seethed a bit until I heard her say the same thing to the next 3 latecomers. Sadly, that made me feel better.

I had a lovely time even though I knew no-one at the table.

A did a lovely thing which was to write down something nice about EVERYONE there (similar to what Kirsten did at her baby shower) and she said these things out loud. To about 36 - 40 women.

Yes, some tears were shed. Not by me (my nice stuff was just about being so organised even after the twins were born - I say "I need to be organised otherwise I'd be crazier") though.

Food was good, speeches were lovely and I had a delightful conversation with the photographer, interestingly enough.

Gave her some advice but also learned a thing or two from her, not about photography but about ministry.

I was just ready to leave when I saw D'd sent me two texts asking me to pick up some things.

Do you know how I hate being sent for things? Especially random stuff.

But I tried and after trying two shops, just gave up on one and spent too much money on the other because I wanted to get home to the babies.

D was totally out of it but my MIL and the kids were having lots of fun playing outside.

I love arriving home and hearing their voices go "Mummy!" (K) and "Marcia!" (Connor - this is a new thing which I still find cute) with such happiness and excitement, so much so that I can't be a grouch.

Crazy times and we didn't even bath them last night.

I just felt like I was running right from the time I woke and I needed time out.

Anyway, I plan to have a party for my 40th and this will be one that my kids can come to (they'll be 5 years old!). I like the idea of a "come as you want to be in 5 years' time" - it is so "me" - but who knows how I'll feel closer to the time.

By the way, for me it's not about an expensive party but about the celebration of life.

Do you have plans for your 40th?

PS Kendra and I had some girl time this afternoon. We went to get my prescription filled and then spent a rewards voucher at Exclusive Books on some . She is so tiny that she sat in the little shopping trolley basket, charming everybody :)

PPS I am totally back to normal from the stomach bug, enjoying creams, butter, all sorts of food again :)