Much better

Well, I had session 2 with the personal trainer today and it was much better.

We worked on my abs and upper body but only after I gave her a talk about how I have TWINS and have to RUN around after them and how I cannot expect my HUSBAND to do it all if I can't walk blah blah blah.

I know some of you think I'm being dramatic but I literally could not walk. I was limping on my tippy toes, holding onto furniture, right up until Saturday.

See, I was a bit miffed because she worked me so hard even though she knew I hadn't worked out for 7 weeks.

But I was more cross with me.

I should know better and stand up for myself. I do so with everything else.

I think I was just trying to show off that I could do everything she wanted me to do.

Can you believe when I told this to my boss he laughed at me?!

:)

We are both very competitive so he gets me.

Anyway, so I feel much better about this whole exercising deal.

I'm to email her tomorrow to tell her how I feel :)

On the eating front, I am so sick of tuna I could puke!

You have to have so much of these things to constitute 1 portion of protein.

E.g. 1 whole can of tuna is 1 protein and 90 g of lean ham is 1 protein (the pack I buy is 125 g so just imagine leaving 3 pieces and having that entire pack for lunch. Ugh!)

Good thing I still love my baked beans but I've jazzed them up this week by cooking them with onion, tomato, coriander (yum...) and some curry powder. One can makes 3 portions (1 Protein, 1 Veg) the way I did them and they were DELICIOUS on toast today.

But back to you...

How assertive are you with this kind of thing? Would you have said something to her, or not?

Thanks for voting :)

Caught out

Spotted while I was doing a walk around at work with an art director scouting for locations

This morning I was walking across the parking lot at our church when my phone beeped.

I checked the message and it said, "Marcia, please come weigh in so I can help you. Maureen".

Caught out.

I replied, "You are SO sweet! I'm at a church thing but I do need help and will phone you. Marcia"

I'm terrible at texting but I had to respond immediately because the Weigh-Less Group Leader figured me out.

I haven't been to weigh-in at Weigh-Less for two Saturdays.

And the week before that I'd put on 0.6 kg. It was the Saturday after our holiday so I chalked it up to being out of your routine on holiday .

The next week I was exactly the same on my scale which means the same on their scale too.

And this morning I was only 0.2 kg lighter.

So I told myself, "what's the point in going?" and "I don't have time"

I never, ever believe people when they say, "I don't have time".

A better thing to say is, "I'm choosing to do this instead of that".

In the interests of full disclosure, I spent some time this morning looking at A's teddy bear bday party (thanks for your Picasa link, Cat).

I could have gone to weigh-in even though I was on my way to church.

I've been having lots of constipation problems and lots of birthday problems.

Birthday problems- these are no excuses. I accept full responsibility.

The table where the birthday girl/ boy puts all the cake and goodies at work is right across the aisle from my desk.

The way I achieve goals is to set up my environment for success. So I don't take any food to work I can't eat. E.g. Julia commented in a post a while back when I mentioned the ginormous bag of food I take to work that I should leave some things there. I can't. If I'm at any point hungry, I would polish it all off since I have very little self-control.

We've had two birthdays in the last two weeks. All with VERY good cake. I've had small pieces but still...cake. I have no problem with things I'm not keen on - fresh cream, lots of icing, etc.

Thank goodness the next birthday is only mid-July!

Then, constipation.

Let's just say I've always suffered somewhat but usually the water and the all bran flakes do the trick.

Not anymore.

I had to buy Dulcolax on Wed because I'd had no success since Sun (TMI!) and yes, it worked on Thurs but I felt so ill I'm considering the rest of the box worth R60 a waste of money. 29 tablets, anyone?

Today my friend told me to try Benefiber so off I went to Clicks again this afternoon and got me some. R85 later, this stuff better work.

There's also one other thing which seems very superficial but here it is:

My jeans are already loose.

The weight I've already lost coupled with the "magic" of the personal trainer has meant my size 34 (10) jeans are all loose around my thighs. So are my work pants and therefore I feel thin. I've even been turning down the waistband to keep the jeans on.

I think I should fit on some of my old size 32's so I can feel a bit fatter and get motivated to lose these last almost 4 kg :)

Here's hoping this week is better and I lose something crazy like 2 kg :) Look at me, over-achiever extraordinaire.

How good are you with self-control and eating the "wrong foods"? What do you tell yourself? What are your tips for "eating success"?

PS I've just realised - I haven't been exercising!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's probably reason 3.

Instead of losing the kg like I wanted to...

I gained 0.8 kg!

I was so, so tempted not to go weigh on Saturday but I talked myself into going because I know I need the accountability.

The ladies did not look very impressed with me (trust me, I was also not very impressed with me either) and talked to me for a long time.

It was no surprise to me that I'd gained weight since I started because I was trying to do things my way.

Well, my way hasn't been working which is why I joined in the first place.

For those of you who have never been on Weigh-Less (lucky fish), this is how it works:

• they give you a formula (5 complex carbs, 3 protein, etc, etc)
• you have to eat everything within the day
• you have to drink 2 L of water daily

I hadn't had all my water (have lapsed to around 1.5 L daily) and I was not eating the entire formula.

Oh, and I was still eating easter eggs, biscuits and sweets. Not a lot, but a treat a day adds up.

And, most important and crazy when you think of the type of person I am, I was not organised.

Last time round (5 years ago) when I lost my 5.2 kg or whatever it is I had to lose, I was extremely organised and I had the most consistent results in the group I was at. Not a big achievement because we were all major slackers but still :)

This time Weigh-Less has made it easy and organised everything for us. BUT that doesn't work for me because I hardly eat the foods on the menus provided. I don't like ham, pork, red meat and lots of those veggies.

And there is a TON of food to eat daily.

Last night at a few minutes to 12 when I was finally packing my lunch (I know it's bad but I was hooked on a personal finance site), I set everything out on the counter.

I would have gone to fetch my camera to take a few pics but it was late and I was lazy.

Basically instead of all my food fitting easily within my current lunch bag, I now take a big bag (tote) to work FILLED with food.

It's quite crazy to see me walking in every day with my bag of food.

The thing is, it's the right kind of food.

So here's what I'm doing differently this week. I'm sharing it here so I can come check back and remind myself and also it may help the 3 people reading who are also on Weigh-Less.

1. On Saturday morning when I got the bad news, as I was walking to my car, I gave myself a pep talk along the lines of "there's nothing I can do about the past" blah blah (this stuff works for me!)
2. I came home and took out a paper weekly planner and planned every meal for the whole week.
3. Then I checked our pantry and fridge and made a shopping list.
4. I went shopping for TONS of fresh fruit and veggies, so much so my fridge is far too full.
5. On Sat afternoon I made a ginormous pot of soup with 1.2 kg of veggies (onions, carrots, butternut, broccoli and tomato) and 400 g lentils. That made 8 individual servings. 1 serve = 1.5 veg + 0.5 protein. I battle getting the veg and protein in so I'm basically having a bowl of soup every day.
6. On the water front, I've been having herbal tea like crazy because it's cold and I want to be warm and we're restricted to 3 cups of decaf tea/ coffee daily. That has helped.

So far so good.

After two days the scale showed a 0.5 kg drop over the two days. Let's hope this continues because I have to lose that 0.8 this week.

There we go - my Weigh-Less story from week 1.

There is a lady in her 50s there who joined the week before I did. She's lost 1.8 kg both weeks. Inspiring but I will admit I am slightly jealous. She told me she doesn't cheat even a tiny bit. She sticks to that formula 100%.

I don't have self-control like that.

I had 2 biscuits tonight after supper and yesterday I had a slice of cake!

As you can see, I'm about 95% correct with the eating, with the odd treat thrown in here and there :)

Where are you on the scale? Are you a strict "stick to the rules" girl or do you enjoy treats?

P.S. Is it just me or is the blogosphere very quiet over the last couple of days?

The truth about me time

I've had a very, very busy March.

Much busier than I like it, quite honestly, with all the talks, socials, etc.

But that is all over and I couldn't be happier.

The truth is that when one thing in my life is too busy, other things suffer and my life feels out of balance.

Not a lot but I've worked SO hard over the years at getting that balance and yet, as you know, it's a constant juggling act.

So I hate when it feels like I'm regressing.

Thank goodness I can do a few minor tweaks and get it all on track quickly.

What works for me is being intentional, saying no to the right things and doing the rest as smart as I can.

Doing my work well, and giving it absolute focus so that when it's down time, I don't feel guilty about doing nothing.

It may not always sound like it but I'm an expert at doing nothing and lazing :)

So in March, my Wednesday night dance class and my reading suffered a bit.

I only read 2 books for March and finished the one I was aiming for to be number 3 this afternoon during the babies' nap.

The last time I was at my dance class was 16 Feb!


But what did I do for me this week?

1. Well, I had a manicure on Tuesday. Half of it is already off because of bathing the kids..........but it did look pretty for 4 whole days.

2. I finally opened a savings pocket from my one bank account with the turquoise bank :) and transferred money into that so it doesn't bother me in my main bank account. Done.

3. I also went through one of my shelves in my study, found some notebooks that I'd bought and didn't even use so took those back to CNA today and got........... R170 back in cold, hard cash. There was a bit of back-and-forth since they'd been bought more than a month ago but I stood my ground - I had cash slips and clearly the stuff had not even been touched. Eventually, she caved and refunded me. And now I need to stop spending.

4. But best of all, I joined Weigh-Less today. The group leader said to me, "are you the one who phoned me?" Yip, that was me. I probably sounded determined because I asked her my list of questions and told her I'd be there. I was unshowered but fresh-smelling (hey, it was early for me - 8.30). So according to me, I need to lose 5.4 kg (she would have been happy with 4.4). That's 12 pounds.

I've already cheated with one marshmallow Easter egg (I don't even like Beacon chocolate but those eggs are delicious) but on the bright side, I'd forgotten how MUCH you eat on Weigh-Less. When I made supper earlier, I looked at the mound of food and thought, "impossible" but I got through it.

I'm aiming for a 1 kg loss in week 1. I know I can do it :)

But enough of me, what did you do for yourself this week?

P.S. I have a quick post to do on another blog and then I'm off to bed with a new book. Heaven!

A few things and Weigh-Less

1. The night before last, our land-line rang at about 12.30 - 1 AM (so D tells me because I was kind of sleepwalking at the time). Apparently I jumped out of bed, lifted the phone without putting it to my ear, slammed it down and then took it off the hook. I then jumped back into bed.

I'm only slightly embarrassed that I didn't even bother to find out if it was a real call. But then again, I was totally unaware of even doing all that.


2. I have 3 back-to-back meetings later, a total of 5 hours of listening to people talk. I'm going to have to create toilet breaks to stay awake. Or do what I usually do, which is write lists of things to blog about. If I'm not actively participating (I prefer running them, actually), I get verrrrry bored.


3. Kyle (personal trainer) has resigned. I think there are issues there because the PTs keep getting switched around which is messing with MY goals. I feel like I lose a week every time I switch trainers because So I've emailed the manager.


4. I don't think I've lost a single gram over the last month and am seriously thinking of joining Weigh-Less. Scrap that - I've just phoned up the group leader in my area and I will be there on Saturday morning (eek!) for my first weigh-in. Again, paying money just kills me but I know the stuff and am not doing it .... sadly, I need to pay for accountability.


5. I'm going to do a blogging challenge, not on this one (it's already far too easy to post here daily), but on the organising blog, for the month of April. It's going to be interesting.... I'll post tomorrow on that blog but part of the blogging will be 19 random acts of kindness in honour of my friend's son who was murdered.


Can you believe we're 1/4 of the way through the year? My word, it's frightening!

So what's on your mind today? Tell me what you're wearing. Tell me something!

P.S. I'm wearing black pants, black sandals, a black & white shirt and my signature red leather bag.

Two scales and two knocks

Apparently that scale was right.

Sara (PT) weighed me again today (I insisted because I wanted to know how bad it was going - my clothes don't feel much looser) and........... down 2.1 kg from 4 Feb (19 days).

I am over the moon.

I need to keep this up because the end is in sight.

I started personal training on 21 January and just over a month in, I'm 0.9 away from my pre-preg weight (I've lost a grand total of 4 kg so far) but 2.9 away from the weight I actually want to be.

(X 2.2 for pounds)

Things are looking up.

*************************************

In other news, Connor fell on his head TWICE today.

Once this morning because he was jumping on the bed and lost his balance. This blurry pic (they just don't ever stop moving) was taken after fall number 1 (see cheek and top of head).


And then again, this evening, I told him, "no! no jumping on the bed". Well, he listened to that but I forget you have to be really literal.

He then jumped on the ottoman and off he went again.

This one was worse because he scraped that same side of his face even worse. The entire right side of his face is red and scraped. Looks terrible.

So far he seems alright but straight afterwards, I don't think he stopped screaming for 2 full minutes.

That's verrrrry long for me - I don't do well with screaming.

D asked me when he got home, "are YOU okay?" :)

I am now but was shaken at the time.

On the bright side, the last time this happened (two knocks on the head) also within 24 hours and then we had nothing for about 4 months.

New rules - they are again banned from my bedroom, this time for their own safety.

And now I have 3 blogs to write for the organising blog - I love batch blogging; it's so time efficient :)

What are you doing on this gorgeous rainy night?

A sliver of hope

Hope is such a wonderful thing - it can perk you up when things feel blah and dull.

Yesterday I went into the pause area we share with two other departments on this floor and this one lady, who is known for her tactlessness, rubbed her tummy, looked at me with eyes raised and said meaningfully, "how ARE you?"

I was very insulted and said, "no, A, I'm not pregnant" and off I stormed.

(it is funny now I think about it but at the time I was miffed)

Then my lovely friend, Natalie, came to have a coffee with me (why do we say "coffee" when we actually drank water? Lest you think we're saints, we had carrot cake and a muffin) and she told me that I was looking lovely (thinner) and lots of other nice things.

So I cheered up a bit.

But then, last night after my Zumba class at the gym, I went to weigh myself on those machines that take your BP and body fat too.

This is my weekly ritual so that I have a record of my weight progress.

And............ the scale read 59.8.

It must have been a mistake as that is 2 kg less than I actually weigh.

So I jumped off and got on again.

Still 59.8.

I still think that scale was faulty but it was a lovely little glimmer of hope to keep pressing on toward my health and fitness goals.

Also, my calves are already looking better and my arms are slightly less flabby!

What do you need to feel hopeful about today? Share in the comments.

P.S. I'm going to be in a real print book on motherhood (who would have thought?!) that will come out in May. I wrote my piece last night, D is editing it and I will submit tonight.

Expectations & weigh less

I specifically wrote that post last night because I've been thinking a lot about expectations.

How days like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas can be less than because of our expectations.

Or rather, my expectations.

I build the occasion up in my mind so that when the actual day happens it is nowhere near what I wanted it to be and I'm disappointed.

Well, I'm tired of living with disappointment so I'd prefer to expect almost nothing, just lots of ordinary moments.

I've also been known to expect people to treat me the way I treat them, which of course, doesn't happen.

I've been thinking how I actually have FABULOUS days all the time and I need to celebrate them more.

I do think one of my good qualities is that I can see the bright side in almost any situation and I do that, but I need to do it with the special occasions too.

My friend, Nat, had a birthday earlier this month and when I phoned her (just for you, Mandy P) to wish her a happy birthday, she said she's been LOVING her birthday.

People phoning the whole day, interrupting her lunch with her hubby, etc. Having a ball.

I remember thinking, "now that's how it should be" and so I think this year I will celebrate if just one person remembers me.



Then, in other news, today was session 2 with the personal trainer.

And... it went much better. That could either mean I'm getting used to working so hard or it wasn't as sore because we worked on different areas of the body.

Either way, it's all good.

He also weighed me and his scale is a horribly lying one. Then again, it was 3:45 and I'd already eaten quite a bit today.

However, no excuses.

I've decided that I'm not working so hard at the gym only to mess things up here at home by being all loosey goosey with my food.

Don't you love that word?!

So at supper time, I hauled out my Weigh-Less file to check portion sizes (always my issue) and weighed exactly 140 g of pasta to have with my healthy bolognaise sauce (with lentils).

And I'll be planning my meals properly from now onwards, like I used to when I very successfully lost 5 kg on WL.

My spreadsheet is ready and waiting :)

The "funny" thing is last time my start weight was 59 and I ended on 54. This time I'll be happy with 59 and very happy with 56 - 57.

How perspective changes things!

How was your Monday?

P.S. I'm on a course at work for two days and I haven't done the pre-work but on the bright side, my inbox is empty and I'm good at making things up on the spur of the moment. Should be fun.

Torture for a purpose

I had my first session with the personal trainer today.

I thought he may go easy on me seeing as how it's only the start of our "relationship" but no.

Boy oh boy.

He seriously worked me hard.

Took no excuses and when I stopped before we'd reached 30 of something or other, made me start all over again.

I kept visualising my 54 kg self (my Mondo goal is only 57 kg), this pic in Kuala Lumpur and at one point I told him I'd be bringing a "thin" pic to put on the treadmill (I hate treadmills). I think he thought I was joking.

I am so not.

It's on my list for tomorrow to have a thin pic printed because seeing my skinny (for me) thighs will definitely motivate me to keep going.

This is Victoria Station in London - I was 56 kg under that jacket in May 2008 and had crept up to 59 after all the fertility meds in Oct/ Nov. So 59 is my pre-pregnancy weight but my goal is 57.

BTW, that luggage is for 3 weeks in the UK :)

The good news is... he says we should reach my goals in LESS THAN 3 months! That will make me very, very happy and I can't wait :)

I plan to book a mini photo shoot with Jeanette for just D and me in April - a funky, arty one in Newtown to celebrate our 16 years of marriage.

On another note, out of nowhere, the personal trainer says to me, "is your husband white?"

I was shocked* but blurted out, "yes.........how did you know?"

He says, "I just sensed"

What that means only he will know.

I was chatting to some clients today and I realised that D & I have only spent 1 night away from the babies (my birthday last year). They were horrified that we haven't escaped more :)

How many nights have you spent away from your babies/ kids, especially in the first two years?

P.S. * I am what we call coloured in SA. Basically mixed race. Both D and I honestly don't see our "differences" - we haven't ever had issues, even right at the beginning.

P.P.S. Tomorrow I need to write about some of Connor's naughtiness. And the bad thing is I just laugh which I don't think is the best thing in the world to do...

Sometimes I am very, very slow

this is me in Kuala Lumpur 4 years ago when I weighed 54 kg. That lovely tan is from laying around at the pool in Thailand :)

My usual thing is to go to gym twice a week. Some weeks I don't even make it twice.

I really need to up the ante so this weight can come off once and for all.

I don't think it's about motivation; it's about creating the time and space to set you up for success.

And that's what I'm trying to do.

We have a gym at work but the problem with that is I don't like to shower at work (I am very private and all the girls walk around na.ked, not me though) and you kind of have to after a lunch time class.

Oh, have I mentioned I only do classes? I find working out by myself very, very boring. I need the group energy and, dare I say it, competition, to spur me on.

Just last night, I went to my first class in over a month.

It was a Zumba class and there was a can-can song which I loved. I pretend I'm on stage and dance my heart out. It helps to push through the pain :)

Back to why I'm slow.

The only time I have to go to extra classes are either during the day or on the weekend.

So I've decided to join the gym at work and hire a personal trainer.

My intention is to do 2 sessions a week with him (at the end of the day so I can drive straight home and shower here), one class by myself at lunch (I'll have to run around with my towel for one day a week), and one to two classes at my regular gym.

So really it's just one day that will seriously inconvenience me but I will do it to reach my goals. I put up with IVFs, didn't I?

These are my goals for the next 3 months:

1. build upper body strenth (my triceps are getting flabbier which has got to stop)
2. reduce the abdomen, bum and thigh fat (I want muscles again and for my clothes to fit better)
   
3. strengthen my back muscles (I have taken far too many Norflex over the last 2 - 3 months from picking up the kids) and increase flexibility - this is the class I'll do at the work gym by myself, Yoga. I don't have a good relationship with Yoga/ Pilates-type stuff but I will persevere
4. strengthen my core
   
5. increase my physical fitness (the two cardio dance classes should help here)
6. lose some weight (I'm giving him my Mondo number - 57 - so he works for his money :))
   

I love how the weight is number 6, and I didn't even plan it like that!

I am taking this list with me later this afternoon when I go see him to set goals and work out my plan.

Do you have health and fitness goals?

I really am speechless

Taken on 7 October last year.

Babies were exactly 3 months old and I only had 900 measly grams to lose before reaching pre-preg weight.

I am 3.4 kilos heavier now.

This is pathetic!

Have you let yourself go?

I was blog browsing and someone posted about feeling like she'd let herself go because she is a SAHM with a baby of about 8 months.

What's the use, she said, of getting dressed "cute" when you're just home with the baby?

The end conclusion (I read all 38 comments) is that it really doesn't take that long to "put yourself together" and at the end of the day, YOU feel better about yourself. Also, the husbands appreciate it.

Now I'll talk about my situation.

I have and always will be a girl made for comfort and not for style.

I love being comfortable, I would absolutely NEVER "waste" money buying clothes I didn't feel comfortable in.

Which is why I live in jeans and t-shirts, or capris and t-shirts, or shorts and t-shirts... you get the picture.

But when I go to work, I somehow dress up more. I love my suits (those that can still fit me), tailored pants and shirts with jackets.

We have a casual day policy every Friday and I must admit, on those days, I somehow feel less productive and less "get up and go", maybe because I'm in jeans and a t-shirt. I don't know.

When I have TONS to do at work or a meeting where I really need to accomplish lots of things, I tend to dress up more (usually in red, or black with flashes of red - trademark red bag, etc.) so that I feel empowered, confident and energetic.

Most people think I don't wear make-up because I wear so little - the barest hint of foundation, eye-liner and lipstick. Sometimes I bother with some eyeshadow.

I know that most people are not like me. And that doesn't bother me one iota.

I've always felt that as long as you're neat, clean and presentable, you're good to go.

But reading the blog post made me wonder - have I let myself go?

I know I have a bit in the weight department. I think I've been using the fact that I had a twin pregnancy to hide from the simple fact - I am eating too much and not exercising enough.

I've resisted hiring the personal trainer, not for money, as would usually be the case, but because I'm struggling to figure out exactly how I'm going to squeeze 1 hr 15 min into my already full days, 3 times a week.

So while I figure that out, I think I need to up the ante. I'm committing to you to work out (that is at the gym OR in my house) for 45 mins 3 times a week for the next 5 weeks. I'm also going to drink my 2 L of water a day and have one extra veg a day. Carrot sticks, here I come.

After all, I have a photo shoot booked for 30 October.

So how far along the path of "letting myself go" do you think I am?


Are any of you in the same boat and when did you recognise you were at that point?

P.S. I did 140 ab crunches in front of the TV last night for 5 minutes. Onward and upward.....

Despite having 33% body fat, yesterday was a surprisingly good day

I finally listened to that Satisfaction Finder audio and OH, it is good! So good I had to rewind about 3 times to re-listen to bits of it. (I listen to audios while driving)

Jen Louden is a gifted coach and I love hearing other people coach and then hearing the coachee (is this even a word?) have their aha's. Gives me thrills :)

Anyway, more on this next week when I've done processing it all but a quick revelation:

I've started thinking so much because I'm in coaching mode so I'm trying to do for me what I do for my clients.

it's not exactly bad but I can't be the best coach for me that I can be for others (objectivity and all that) so I'm about 95% decided to hire a life coach. I'm going with the flow (difficult for me) and accepting this is a new stage in my life and I'd like some support.

Already have a business coach but may transition to a speaking coach to focus specifically on the speaking side of my business. Let's see what Business Coach and I come up with next week - I can't wait!


**********************************


ANYWAY...

Here's what I actually wanted to write about.

I had a fitness assessment yesterday with a biokineticist. I do these solely for the points (we get 7500 points and our goal is gold - what else? lol) which convert to HUGE discounts on holidays, hotels, etc. (all stuff we love).

A nice side benefit is you get your health checked out.

I did my first one in 2003 and the aim is two a year. Some years I manage them, some not. Last year I squeezed one in right at the end of my maternity leave (for the points, BABY!).

Unsurprisingly, my fitness sucks big time (poor! it's only ever been that bad the first year I had one done) BUT I rock on all the other aspects - excellent on the push-ups and flexibility, blood pressure, non-smoking and non-drinking.

And I got "good" for ab crunches and nutrition.

Strangely "acceptable" on weight but really it's not!

I had the sweetest guy in his 20's who definitely had the gift of encouragement because he told me I had high body fat in such a nice way I didn't even feel bad :)

I discussed with my boss this morning in our catch-up (we talk about rubbish all the time) and his body fat % is 18. I didn't give my shockingly high number - too embarrassed.

This weight thing is out of hand. I "only" have 4 kgs to lose and I'm 95% there on just biting the bullet and hiring a personal trainer for 3 months to get my butt in gear.

I really hate spending money on stuff I could do anyway (hey, is this how people feel about coaching? I often use the "personal trainer for your life" analogy to explain what I do) but the fact is, I'm not doing it and I need some accountability.

Then again, if I get a good bonus, I will have no excuse!

Do you exercise? What works for you?

P.S. I'm going to do 30 ab crunches a day for the month of August - when it starts feeling easy, I'll increase by 10 at a time. Wish me well...

It's official - I'm fat

I went to a store to look for suits for the speaking gigs yesterday.

I don't have patience with browsing - I like to go in, find the stuff and get out. Very hunter-gatherer and un-female, I know.

Anyway, so I walk in and tell the first saleslady I see what I'm looking for.

She takes me to a section of clothes and says, "so you're a 10 on the top and what? A 14/ 16 on the bottom?"

I nearly died.

My current stuff I can't fit into is a 10 alround.

So I said, "No! If anything, I'm a 12 on the bottom"

She wouldn't be deterred so insisted I take a 12 AND 14 pants to the fitting room.

I was right though - the 12 fit me.

STILL - 12!!!

I need to get my FAT bottom to the gym a LOT in the next few weeks because this is now unacceptable!!!

And now, I need to go pin those pants and take them for hemming because I'm a shorty and everything is always too long!

P.S. 10 = size 34 and 12 = size 36

Hope you're having a better self-image day :)

Taking care of ME

Remember when I asked about the pedicure?

Well, I 'd bought a voucher with 3 treatments so I had the massage, pedicure and facial all scheduled 2 weeks apart.

That's all done now and I'm never going back to that place because of three reasons:

1. I decided that pedicures are not for me even though the last one was MUCH better. I simply told the girl not to cut my toenails and the weird tingling is just about gone now.

I've accepted that I just don't like people touching my feet! (Thank you, T-bird and Saffy for telling me you're also not fans of the pedicure)

2. I decided I'm also not a fan of the facial - who decided that squeezing your blackheads was a good idea??? - I was in PAIN and screamed, literally. I'm sure she thought I was a big baby. How did I ever go through all those IVF needles?!

3. Also, these people are of the school that believes you need to tell the customer everything that's WRONG with her so she'll come back.

This is her speaking to me during the massage: "OH MY WORD, you are SO TENSE. I can't BELIEVE how knotted your shoulders are. This is TERRIBLE".

I said, "Yes, I know. That's WHY I've booked the massage. I store my stress in my back and shoulders"

Where do you store your stress?

Of course, I got even MORE tense during that exchange. On the bright side, it's something to blog about :)

But seriously, life is hard enough; I really don't need further dents in my self-esteem, thank you very much.

Natalie, you'll get a kick out of this...

When she wanted to make my next appointment, I said, "I don't think I'll be coming back, but thanks for asking" (D said I'm too much!)

So no more pedicures and massages. I also don't do manicures - I can't see the point as I keep my nails on the short side and can do them myself.

But the massage? Yes, that I can do.

We have a beauty therapist who is here at our work two days a week. I booked a massage and was soooo looking forward to it (as work has gotten really busy) but she phoned to cancel as she'd double-booked. Grrrr.

She then suggested coming in on another day that suited me. Well, that morning she phoned to confirm. I then had to go out of the office to supervise some training on one of our product lines. I had to leave 15 minutes early to get back for the massage and...........she blew me off again.

I was FURIOUS because I left early just to get back.

Fortunately for her, she did some good customer service - sent me a text apology, phoned me AND told me she'll do the next one for free.

So I had the massage on Wednesday and I'm glad she persisted because it was FABULOUS. I'm not a fan of painful massage and she had just the right pressure when I said light to medium.

How do you like your massages?

I've now decided to go for a massage every second week.

I've also decided to buy a black pencil skirt for autumn/ winter as I LOVE wearing a black skirt with low heels (could be because I look good in skirts) and my current size 32 skirt may never fit me again.

I wanted to hold out and first lose the weight but why should I deny myself the chance to look cute once or twice a week?

I also decided to get some nice jeans - I was so tired of looking fat in my current jeans so I'm taking the advice I give my clients- if it doesn't look or feel good, OUT it goes.

I'm good at the almost daily bits of taking care of myself, making time to blog, going to gym, cooking healthy meals, etc; it's the infrequent splurges I'm not so good at, probably because I'm cheap!

How good are you with self-care?

P.S. Despite what I know about healthy eating, I am soooo tempted to get an appetite suppressant just to lose some of this weight quickly. It's so boring and slow doing it the healthy way.

P.P.S. That pic is at my work - I took it one day on my way on my way home for Project 365

*ahem* the weight gain

I still believe that some of the extra weight I'm lugging around has to do with my hormones but I've realised that nutrition and exercise (or lack thereof) also plays a part.

I used to belong to weigh-less about 4 years ago (in those days I wanted to lose about 5 kg and get to 52 kg - I made it to 54 kg and then stopped because our group leader left and it was too much of a schlep to find a new group) - in fact, that was the reason I could wear those short shorts in Thailand.

I still have the book and actually, we still eat the same way. I just don't weigh everything obsessively like I used to.

BUT when the weight started piling on, I hauled out the book and figured out what I'm doing wrong:

• I don't eat enough protein (most days have 2 portions when i should have 3) - need to add another low-fat portion. The easiest for me is something like lentils, chick peas, kidney beans or cheese
• I don't eat enough vegetables - again need to add a portion as I do have two portions easily
• My carb portions are too big in the evening (this has always been my downfall) - do you know what 140 grams of pasta or rice look like? Tiny! And that's two complex carbs.

So I'm trying but it's going too slow for me - only have had about a 0.5 kg loss in 3 weeks. I know if I do it properly I can lose that in one week.

When I was on WL before, I had an excel spreadsheet that I used to plan a week's meals at a time. It would tell me where I wasn't eating enough so I knew I had to add more of this or that.

The thing with Weigh-Less is if you follow the formula, it works. You can't eat some of it; you have to eat it all. Most people think the less food you eat, the better but that's just not true.


The meal above?

2 complex carbs (Weigh-Less wraps), 2 protein (100 g lean, skinless chicken and 20 g cheese), 2 veg (onions, tomatoes, lettuce, grated carrots), 1 fat (1 Tbsp olive oil to stirfry the chicken).

I need to look through my back-up discs to find that spreadsheet!

Of course there's also the exercise thing. Two people recently have told me I need to exercise more if I want to lose weight - the biokineticist and doctor who are based at our work.

I know this but I HAVE TWINS! Oy!

Just getting to the gym twice a week is a miracle in itself. But I suppose I could do some weights here at home while I watch the Bold and the Beautiful :), my relaxation.

I don't want to make excuses for my weight because then I'll get used to being this size. Yes, I have had a twin pregnancy but so what - if Heather can look fabulous, then so can I :)

I still have not bought any new clothes and I don't intend to...

So I'm at 62,5 now - I want to get down to pre-fertility meds weight of 57 kg. Of course I'd be in heaven if ever I could get down to 55 kg again but as the doctor told me, I'm OLD and my metabolism is slow...

Is anyone else out there wanting to lose some weight? I want to check in with someone every week (it's a bit boring to write about my eating on the blog all the time..........)

Look! A post with pictures

The babies are wearing bibs they received from Minx :)
Only took a month and 3 weeks to get here!

I have so much to say - hope I remember everything.

Project Get Fit and Lose Baby and Fertility Drugs Weight

Just came back from gym - this is week 3 - and guess what? I have GAINED 0.6 kg in the last week. I have NO idea what's going on and will be googling up a storm after this. We were chatting about birth control at work (fun team, right?) and a colleague said she gained 6 kg in about 3 months of being off the same BCP I was on (Yaz) so hmmm, what's up with that?

Nevertheless I persist because I HATE this stage of getting fit, where you look horrible, can't do much before being out of breath and basically hate every minute of being there. I also get an itchy bum and thighs (TMI) in the very beginning which has now stopped - really bad first week and then it goes. And I forget until the next time I let myself go, usually over December...

Work

I've been going to work late so then I stay late. Then I get home late (and traffic gets worse the later you stay) so don't have enough time to do all I need to on the business as well as at home - cooking and such (I don't like takeaways so will almost never get food in). I then end up working late into the night which means I wake late after waking 2 - 3 times for the babies and the whole cycle repeats.

Last week I decided enough is enough. Come hell or high water, I'm getting to work on time. Today I was only 5 minutes late and I left on time. Have to stop the madness somewhere.

It's getting a lot harder to simply leave the office as most of them work a full day and the work keeps coming in... It's also getting to the point where I'm going to have to be assertive with talkative colleagues (the same one who put on 6kg!) so that I can stay productive and get my stuff done. I may have to put in my headphones (without music) to give the appearance that i don't want to be disturbed.

The good thing is I know I can do it as I worked like crazy today. I had to leave at 2 pm as my friend was visiting me at 2:30 so I got it done.


Baby updates Kendra

Kendra got her first tooth yesterday. She is also rolling up a storm. Back to tummy, tummy to back, crazy active. She's twisting and turning ALL the time. Cute until you try to change her nappy!

Connor


Connor has now discovered his toes. He gets very pleased with himself when he can get one of his feet in his mouth. Of course I keep wiping his feet clean!

He's also "sitting". By that I mean he props himself up like a triangle using his arms as support in front of his body.

This is also very cute until you try to bath him or feed him as he's obsessed with the toes :)

Socials

We had a successful outing to church yesterday. By that I mean they didn't scream too much and I actually caught about 70% of the message. Previous best 25%.



I have a confession to make. I went to church to avoid a visit from my MIL. Our church has two morning services and she usually goes to the first one and then comes to visit if we don't go to church (we go to the second one). Problem is if you're tired the last thing you want is to entertain someone else.

D keeps telling me we don't have to entertain her. Hmmmm. If you have to make tea, make conversation, can't do anything else while she's here, that's entertaining her.

We also had D's sister sleep over for a night last week which was just lovely - she gets better with age :)

So enough about me. What's been happening with you?

What's the best and worse thing that happened to you last week?

I'll go first - Kendra's tooth and a Crazy Connor overstimulation episode on Saturday night... but then he slept so well he only woke once!