My goals for October

I couldn't help but be a tiny little bit sad when I read some posts last month about how people were scared to set goals.

Sad because goals are not scary.

I just did a very scientific and nerdy approach to quantifying the % of my goals that I reached.

On personal I scored 81% (this will increase once Julia links to the virtual craft day :)) and on business I scored 43%, an average of 62%.

If I were in the "beating myself up" business, I'd say 62% is terrible, why even bother, etc.

But 62% is better than nothing.

Honestly it is.

I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better - I say this to my clients and I'm saying it to you.

Yes, you :)

I feel as women especially we are SO hard on ourselves and why?

I like to reframe these things and say, "I'm 62% closer to where I want to be"... not I'm still 38% away from where I want to be :)

Get it?


Okay, off my soapbox for now and onto October goals.

What I have learnt is that I need to set slightly fewer goals if they're going to be big ones. Tons of mine were big goals last month and since I have committed to do only 10 hours of work a week on the business, I'm fiercely guarding my time so I can, at all times, be authentic.

Right, onto the good stuff

Personal

1. Go to gym/ exercise 10 times (this is priority this month)
   
2. Read 5 books 
3. Get photo shoot done (scheduled for Sat! Anyone know of a park/ kid-friendly place near Newtown??? And what to wear?!!!)
4. Make photo book (I have a Groupon/ Wicount voucher)
   
5. Finish off my 30 days of lists book, take pics and blog
6. Do 8 random acts of kindness
7. Book December holiday. I need to just take an hour and make decisions and let the chips fall where they may (we've decided to take my and D's mom with us and this is slowing the whole thing down - lesson learnt - next time say "this is what we're doing - are you in? yes or no?)
   
8. Finish August photos
9. Finish September photos
10. Make at least two washi tape crafts
11. Two date nights with D...after kids are in bed ;)

Business

1. Blog every day for October (I have 24 of 31 planned - if you have an organising question, please comment and ask it on any of the Oct posts- I need another 7 besides yours, Laura) 
2. Write back and front matter 
3. Chase up on getting book proof-read 
4. Book and pay deposit for my book's design. (can only do this once 2 and 3 are done)
   
5. Write yet another piece for a book (these things keep jumping into my path and how can I say no to being published?!)
6. Write article on effective delegating.
7. Send in next 6 guest blogs.
8. Do church talk - how to make every second count
9. Finish tidying up organising blog's sidebars

What are your goals for Oct?

Five on Friday

Before I officially start with today's post, tomorrow I'm going to hold a Link party. I want to see your phone and hear why you like it/ don't like it, etc.

Yes, you read right - your phone. I'm convinced I have the oldest phone around (I've had it for nearly 4 years and of course I never get the top-end option so it could be *gasp* 5 or 6 years old!) but MandyE may just give me a run for my money.

So are you in? Tomorrow.... I'll try and post earlier in the day when the kids nap.


1. Life as a stay-at-home mom even if only for a half day, is hectic.

I know that I would be thinner... or maybe not ... as I ran after these two the whole day, shovelling some popcorn in my mouth for lunch at 3:40.

I sat down for the first time when D got home around 6 pm.

!

We had about 3 time-outs for Connor. Kendra has responded beautifully to 123 magic.

One morning this week she ran away with my phone and I said, "that's 1". She whizzed around and as she was running toward me with the phone, said, "no, Mummy, stop counting" LOL

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2. Nanny V is supposed to arrive no later than 7:30 but has been arriving 7:45 - 7:55 most days for the last two months.

This sends D over the edge...

I asked her very nicely to please, PLEASE be on time on Wed as it was D's birthday.

She arrived at 7:55.

La la la...

D announced to me this morning that he just wants this weekend over with and then he is sitting her down and having a serious chat with her.

And of course at 7:55 I checked my phone and found 3 missed calls, all from 7:39 so not very much notice.

It was a male (her boyfriend/ father/ I don't know - she is verrrrrry private) telling me that she is sick and won't be coming to work.

Of course then the scrambling began.

We both decided we wouldn't again phone D's mom to come over (we don't want to impose) and that we'd split the duties.

I had two meetings this morning so I went to work first and then took a half day so I could come home to relieve D.

It all worked out well in the end.

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3. We're having some people over for our birthday party tomorrow and we'd originally booked V to come help with the kids. Of course she won't be well so it's going to be fun trying to host and eat and control the kids. Hmmm.

The birthday banner is up :), the cupcake toppers are ready and I want to get out all the paper plates, serviettes and cups now.

If V were here, I'd use real plates but there's already so much work with the kids. Gosh, they mess when they eat.

Actually, I may still use real plates. I'll let you know. What's your vote? Real or paper plates (they are nice paper plates - I bought the good stuff just in case)?

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4. In my meeting with my boss this morning, I said something like, "oh, my life is so hectic at the moment" and ended up telling him about the personal trainer (because I had to cancel today's session...).

He agrees with all of you that the attitude is not on. Surprising as he is usually very objective about these things.

I also told him that I'm loving my meetings where I get to take charge and control the agenda. He says, "that's not surprising, Marcia" Ha!

Seriously though, I participate more, I don't let things get off track and best of all, if we're finished ahead of time, we stop (the tendency in corporate is to just talk and talk and talk - drives me nuts).

However, since I'm more emotionally aware (since my course last week :)) I also noticed that when one particular person holds meetings, I totally just relax, shut down and don't say a thing. She is a VERRRRRRYY strong personality. That's my issue though. The boss said actually I need to give her that feedback. Um, heck no!

5. And then last but not least, what did I do for me this week?

(I really love participating in this challenge as it forces me to think about prioritising myself)

I took off Wed from working on the business. D and I had our supper, watched Friends reruns and nearly spat out our food it was so funny. I just love Phoebe, LOVE her. Of course Monica is the one I'm most like.... sadly. Which Friends character are you most like?

I sorted out my part of the lounge. We bought a new TV unit (with some of the free money :)) and my videos (yes, don't laugh), DVDs and photo albums are sorted. CDs are always sorted because that would make me crazy (okay, right there, I'm showing my Monica tendencies).

BTW, what is the best (and cheapest) way to get old-style prints scanned and jpged? I don't have a scanner so tell me where is best. I've also heard of a machine you can buy to do it for you - anyone???

I made appointments with the dentist and gynae, and tried to make one with the biokineticist but we're playing telephone tag and keep missing one another.

I also made an appointment to have one of these Brazilian blowout things done and lunch with a friend beforehand.

I feel so good that my lists are shorter as we go into August.

Next up I've got to update my 36 things list and make my next one. I also want to do a new list of accomplishments, something I saw on Laura's blog that inspired me.

What did you do for yourself this week?

Oh boy, what a day.

I've taken Friday off as tomorrow is a public holiday here in South Africa (Youth Day) and I believe that when God gives you a middle of the week day as a public holiday, it's almost a sin not to take the day off adjoining the weekend :)

So I've had to squeeze all my work into 3 days instead of 5.

When I looked at my diary this morning I saw I had back to back meetings til 12, a lunch date with a friend at 12:30 and personal training at 3:45.

No way was all that and work going to happen.

So during meeting 2, I ran to my desk and quickly cancelled both the lunch date and the personal training. Because this is so last minute, I still have to pay but the cost is well worth my peace of mind the way I was feeling so stressed.

I apologised to my friend for being a flake and she replied back, "you are the least flakey person I know" LOL

And so I started working.

I also had my performance appraisal yesterday and TONS of things came out of that meeting - nothing bad, just lots of actions.

I followed up on something and received such a rude response back.

Basically I'd done a presentation two months ago and my boss wanted feedback from the person on how I'd done. Fair.

I'd asked for it before, heard nothing so this was the follow-up.

Well he said that he was not authorising his partner to give any feedback blah blah blah and as for the appraisal, I clearly lack discipline as I have not finished the follow-up work and everyone else has.

I saw red!

You can challenge me on many things and I'm happy to hear it but do not insult me on things I know I've done.

Once I'd calmed down a little, I tactfully responded and said I was not aware that the other guy was not allowed to give feedback and if they'd simply said so, I wouldn't have bothered them.

BUT his other point is unfounded and inaccurate as I have completed every assignment on time.

Then he wrote back with more rudeness. I won't bore you but so unprofessional and rude.

And then I cried.

I even called someone to my desk to read it to see if I was being overly sensitive (I'm usually not but I am pre-menstrual) and she also said he was very rude and was shocked at the things said about ME!

Lack of discipline indeed!

So then I emailed two of my colleagues who were on the same course (I'm fairly close to them) and asked them if they'd finished all the stuff.

Neither of them had done so either so he was lying ("everyone else has completed 10 modules; you have only done 4"). The one guy was out of the office but mailed back "call me".

And so I did.

Well, here's where it gets interesting.

He then tells me he heard via the grapevine (oh, don't you love the grapevine?) that this guy insulted a lot of the 3rd group of people doing presentations. And our company in general....

We are very proud to work where we do as it's a fantastic company so we don't take kindly to this nonsense.

They reported him to the training area and obviously they took it up with the place who we have the training contract with.

I can only assume he got into trouble and he's majorly TICKED off.

So my colleague said I was just conveniently in the line of fire when I innocently asked him for feedback and it is not personal.

I see that now but it hurt so much!

Then the lady from our training area contacted me (I'd been copying her on all this back and forth) and said to please not engage with him anymore as they are smack bang in the middle of a huge thing with him, and they will deal with any queries.

Golly!

So I am fine... but also not fine.

I hate rubbish like this.

And of course I worked like crazy til 5:10 but still didn't finish everything. Thankfully I have good boundaries and have forgotten what's on my to-do list and will only remember when I walk in there on Monday :)

I thought about all of this on my way home and I think that it affected me so much because my values were questioned. I always meet work deadlines and am highly self-motivated and disciplined so for him to say that I lacked discipline, well, GRRRRR.

Anyway, let's move on.

My goals for the next 4 days

1. finish my book
2. get caught up with my photos - editing (by that I mean delete the bad ones and rotate so they're all face up), putting on photo blog, put organising ones on organising blog and select 12 to print for party
3. go to movie with D
4. go to lunch with D
5. go to Weigh-Less
   
6. close my 3 accounts with the red bank - yeah baby!
7. take a pile of books & magazines to the local old aged home
8. prep talk and handout for Monday night
9. work on book for 2 hours
10. cook lots of yummy food but no baking!
    
11. repack bedside table
12. start making party favours
    
13. get my craft on :)
14. do business goals for the rest of June
15. update 36 things list - gosh, less than two months to go til I'm 37!
    

Now that I've written it all out, it looks a bit ambitious... then again, aim high and all that jazz :)

If you had 4 days, what would you do? Wait - some of you have 12 WEEKS of summer. What's on your summer list? South Africans, did you take Friday off?

36 candles

I said to D last week, "this year (meaning once I turn 36), I'm not taking anymore cr*p". He said, "oh boy, you already don't" :)

My 36 things to do now I've turned 36 are:

1. Do LOTS more talks
2. Develop and keep up a system for my photos
3. Do a weekly review post
4. Have a family photo shoot when the babies can walk (I have very specific photos in mind and they need to be walking for that :))
5. Take a beach holiday
6. Decide on a policy for attending kiddies birthday parties
7. Go to gym 8 times a month
8. Do at least 3 talks on my infertility story to church or other groups
9. Learn how to make a halfway decent blog header with photos in under 30 minutes
10. Reconnect with a friend I truly love (she's moved to Pretoria so we never see each other any more)
11. Learn to let go
12. Read 5 books a month
13. Weigh 57 kg
14. Hire a personal trainer to help me get to my goal weight
15. When I reach said goal weight, reward myself with a professional photo shoot
16. Use those photos to have a website redesign
17. Live a simpler life
18. Simplify my business even more and do only really high-value work
19. Travel internationally with D for at least 5 days!
20. Do regular random acts of kindness
21. Pay for a stranger's meal/ groceries
22. Do my version of 29 gifts - 4 unexpected gifts a month
23. Get better with my skincare routine
24. Have lunch with a friend once a month. Definitely on this list - a friend I've recently connected with after we lost touch for years (we met at university and I haven't seen her for about 8 years)!
25. Get outside of house painted
26. Figure out how to generate income from my organising blog
27. Redesign organising blog (contrary to what you may think, I find it very hard to let people design things for me as I'm so clear on what I hate!)
28. Lower my expectations of myself and of others
29. Take a very basic photography class
30. Learn to cook a roast
31. Hire a life coach
32. Get at least one massage a month
33. Get hair done once a month
34. Have only clothes in my wardrobe that I love and that look good on me
35. Meet up with 3 blog friends (Cat, are you game?)
36. Get involved in some form of ministry again (I've stopped for the last 2 years and am feeling the itch to make a difference again) - could be those infertility talks otherwise even just mentoring people, etc.

If you have any ideas or you can help me in any way, I'd be very grateful. I believe by putting things out there, good things come back :)

What's on your list and how can I help you get there?

P.S. In this pic I was about 55 - 56 kg. This was taken in Kinsale, County Cork, Ireland. Actually probably closer to 56 kg as I was having tea and scones a couple of times a day :)

500 posts and a long, long list

I can't believe it - these last 100 posts have FLOWN by.


And post 400 was only on 3 March!

When I was going through that electricity thing and I had that headache, I realised that things need to change around here.

1. We gave notice to the tenants so at least we'll know that any future electricity usage is all ours.

2. I'm going to stop worrying about my business - nothing has changed and I am still excellent at what I do (I do know this deep down) even though my marketing is not yielding the results I want.

3. I also decided that I need to relax more so I've hired a new virtual assistant.

I've had two so far - first one was great but went through some personal stuff and as a result, wasn't doing my work on time, etc, etc. I technically am owed about 10 hours' work but I chose to just let it all go and close the loop. Keep the relationship and all that jazz.

Second one was okay, but worked much slower which is not good for me (I like things done yesterday!) and if he doesn't know what's going on, doesn't ask but avoids the conflict so I thought to give him one last chance.

I made a manual of how to do my weekly newsletter, emailed him and asked him if he could commit to do this piece of work on a weekly basis with a 24 - 36-hour turnaround.

No answer in 2 days so I decided that was that.

I put out my work on a freelance site and was INUNDATED with job applicants. Took some time last week filtering through the responses but decided on 3 people. 1 of those didn't get back to me within 48 hours so again is out (I have to be tough because otherwise it's not helping me as the task falls right back to me again) and so I am testing the other two.

One has direct experience with the system I use so she will do this week's one. I've given the other one another boring task and I'll use those to check their attention to detail, speed, accuracy and learning curve.

It's been a big investment in time doing the manual, finding suitable candidates, etc. but I know it will free up lots of time in the weeks and months to come.

Strange or not-so-strange thing - the minute I decided that I need to stop worrying about all this and that I am still fabulous (!), I got an email booking me for an event on Wed and a meeting request to discuss a joint venture - both for SPEAKING.

Did I not say that I wanted to speak more this year???

I am very, very excited about Wednesday's talk.

It's going to be a busy, busy week - we celebrate Youth Day on Wednesday so it's a public holiday.
This week's must do items

1. Go to gym twice (skipped one last week because of Sex and the City)
2. Phone exterminator (I have crawling insects in my kitchen and I've tried everything to get rid of them but nothing's working so even though I hate "wasting" money, these suckers must die!)
3. Dental appointment on Tuesday *gulp* (hate the dentist - it's that needle thing)
4. Write newsletter and send to VA
5. Finalise talk for Wed (it's 80% done)
   
6. Prepare personal development items for work
   
7. Write copy for new website - more on this later...

What's on your must-do list this week?

P.S. I decided on the birthday theme. It's kind of a secret for now (I need to see whether things are easy to get or not) but hopefully, we are good to go.

P.P.S. That is the colour of my bedroom wall. Now you can see why I had to take the red bags and stash them out of sight. What colour would you say it is?

As if there isn't enough chaos in my life...

We got handed over to lawyers by the City of Johannesburg.

!

I received a text message on my phone, flipped out (seriously) and within minutes I was on the phone to them. While I'm on the phone, I email my husband and he calmly replies, "yes, I know, they emailed a letter to me".

He likes to pretend he doesn't have a personal life at work so he simply sent the letter to our home email.

Grrr.

Despite the nice man on the phone assuring me that Nolan (City of Jhb rep) would call me back that day, I should have known better.

I am still waiting for Nolan's call ... this all went down on Monday.

The amount of money they want from us is R2900, not too bad in the grand scheme of things (about 3 X what our bill should be).

I don't mind paying it (as I told the nice man - he really was VERY nice probably because he could tell I was THIS close to the edge) but I want to know that it is my actual bill and the amount is valid.

Our account went into "discrepancy" last year (letter is dated 3 Dec) and we were told to keep paying (which I have been doing) and they'd let us know when it was sorted out.

By "sorted out" they meant that an actual person would come read the meter and submit the actual readings so the account could be reconciled.

Real, live persons have been to our home FOUR times in the 7 months but not one of those readings is on their system.

We have also had absolutely NO communication from them since that letter in Dec.

Can you see why I'm cross?

The letter says they're going to disconnect our electricity if it's not paid by Sunday (what on earth?!), which really means Friday.

I wanted to know if my latest payment is included in the R3000 so D phoned CoJ last night. This person tells him the balance is actually R8200.

Yes, friends, I FLIPPED!

So guess where D is today? Queuing in Jorissen Street (City Centre) to try and sort this thing out.

Normally he hates all this admin/ drama and I do it all but last night he got home and said, "we have to sort this out; we have BABIES!"

On the one hand it is sad, sad, SAD that he only cares about this nonsense now... but whatever the reason, he's sorting it out so my blood pressure will remain normal for another day or so...


P.S. All this rubbish cropping up means I don't have time to post my to-do list for June and how I did on all that stuff in May. And I want to do my life list too.

Work is busy, I'm interviewing for a new team PA plus I work very closely with a guy from the UK who flies out for two weeks a month (this week and next) so busy busy busy with meetings galore.

P.P.S. My friend and I are going to see Sex and the City next week. I decided I'll be honest if she then tries to make a couple plan - she knows me well enough - and say something like "D says it's probably best if the two of us go for coffee, etc. otherwise it's going to be YEARS before we get together"

Organising binge

What do you do when you have crazy bad internet problems and you can barely work on the computer?

Why, you organise your house.

Or at least that's what I do.

The computer has been driving me nuts and I think I'm going to phone Dial-a-Nerd.

Love that name.

My local computer guys said there's nothing wrong with my computer. My anti-virus is working normally but I am still losing emails coming in.

Anyway, back to the organising.

I'm flying through the house stuff on my May list because in addition to the disappearing emails, I also have crazy slow internet.

Again, my ISP says there is nothing wrong with connectivity in my area but there so clearly is!

1. I've organised all the babies' clothes and then some.

Cleared out EVERYTHING that no longer fits. This is the first time I've thought about how "lucky" I am to not be having any more kids because I don't have to store small clothes!

2. I've given 3 bags of clothes to the other twins.

3. D fetched the high chairs.

4. My friend with the twins gave us sleep sacks so I don't have to find someone to make them.

5. I went to gym twice this week. Felt positively virtuous and rewarded myself by eating not one, but TWO carrot cupcakes.

6. I planned out my gifts for the month.

7. Started writing out my items for my life list.

8. And a biggie, I am teaching myself to let go.

This is part of organising my time.

Remember when I wrote the first Motherstyles post, I said one of my biggest struggles is letting go.

We were talking parenting but I recognise it in so many areas of my life and this was one of the issues that I recognised I need to do some self-coaching on.

So first thing to let go was an easy-ish one. My diary (planner).

I have a GORGEOUS deep red diary/ planner but  I haven't been using it. The same thing happened last year - I thought it was the maternity leave/ baby thing but no. I forget to look in it half the time and then two weeks pass.

No more.

I let go. Even though it cost a bit of money. Even though I'd customised it perfectly. And so on.

On Wed night I had some time to think and I realised I really really really love a week-at-a-glance diary - that's how I plan my life and that's what works best for me.


I had a spare week-at-a-glance diary I got on a sale so I hauled it out and I am so much happier. I planned out the rest of May and it's so EASY doing it like this!

Small steps, people.


What are you working on? Tell me I'm not the only one with issues!

P.S. Don't forget to enter the giveaway.

P.P.S. That is an old pic as I'm too lazy to take a pic and upload it. Keeping it real :)

Stuff and more stuff

A week late ... but better late than never, right?!

I've fallen off the goal-setting wagon a bit over the last month or two and I want to post here so you'll all keep me accountable.

I have been shocking with gym (not going), shocking with eating properly, my pants are tight and it's winter.

All of which is not a very good combination.

So for May, these are some things on my to-do list:

Me stuff

• Go to gym twice every week for the rest of the month
• Get a massage
  
• Stop eating chocolate (get chocolate fix from Weigh-less hot chocolate)
• Read one book a week (this will mean I have to factor in an hour a night so less computer time)
• Finish two of the three half-read baby books (I can't resist - maybe there's a secret there that's the answer to all my problems????)
• Finish the blogging on Motherstyles
• Work on my issues (seriously, I have tons of stuff I want to self-coach on - I have a list and a folder full of stuff - am thinking a coffee date weekly for an hour with my laptop and my thoughts as a reward for going to gym twice)
• Plan some gifts (some ad-hoc, unexpected gifts that I can surprise people with - the goal 4 a month - 1 down, 3 to go)
• Update and add to my life list. Do you have a life list?
  

House stuff

• Have gates painted.
• Have outside walls painted.
• Choose paint colour for our bedroom and my study
• Look for coat rack
• Look for new entrance hall table
  
• Get gardener to clean out garage!!!
• Evict tenants
  

(We decided even though we're not selling our house, why should we only pretty it up for strangers to live in it??? We deserve freshly painted walls too!)


Baby stuff

• Finish organising their clothes - it is actually organised but I bought some more baskets to keep the drawers neat so need to do final touches.
• Drop off more clothes with the other twins
• Get high chairs (I told a twin friend that I'd buy her 2nd hand ones)
• Decide on the baby dedication and while I'm at it, the baby party. *sigh* (yet another blog post)
• Get someone to make a big sleep sack for Connor (he has almost outgrown his current "one size fits all" one)
  

Business stuff

Decide what I'm doing with the business. Another blog post.

It seems like a lot but I get more done when there's more to do. Make sense? If I hardly have anything on, I feel quite slothful :)


What's on your list for May?

P.S. The babies are 10 months old today. All I can say is GOSH!