Mondays are very hard

By my new definition of a "good day", today was a good day because I didn't cry at work.

But it was a tough one.

I can't explain how exhausting it is 1) not saying anything 2) overthinking everything before you speak in case your own words are used against you 3) having knots of anxiety for most of the day except when I walk away from my desk.

Anyway, after a very tense and tough meeting (even now thinking about it, I'm tearing up again), I went to my desk, tried to calm down and 5 minutes later, the messenger brought me a very unexpected and gorgeous package from this lovely friend.

Which very nearly made me cry for different reasons :)

Thank you so much!

As I drove home, of course the tears came and I realised that of all the days I've cried in the last 8.5 months (yes, I'm counting), about 95% of the incidents have been Mondays. What a sad state of affairs.

I'm trying not to be impatient and walk through this thing step-by-step with God but it's soooo hard.

I thought about it recently and I do believe it's been harder for me than the infertility.

That was 10% of my life but the rest of it was going well.

This is turning me into someone I don't recognise very often, especially for those 9 hours daily.

My infertility ended on Christmas Eve 2008 and I'm begging God to be merciful again because really, I can't start 2014 like this.

Also Robyn, remember how I said I have a feeling I'm going to have to endure this til the end of the year? Um, yes....

What was the longest period you've gone through a really hard time?