Update on my word of the year - shine?

So guys, the last time I thought about my word of the year I remember emailing with Julia and said, "I don't know what God was doing giving me a word like SHINE unless He meant my shiny face from all the tears".

Seriously. I said that.

I just went back and read all my shine posts for the year. Here's the link. And here's the last one I wrote in May, nearly 6 months ago.

Oh my gosh, the thought of me taking those little white pills daily just to get through the day makes me so sad. I can't believe I actually went through all that. Last pill 17 April.

Okay, I want to share something with you.

A mom of C's classmate who I'm very friendly with chatted with me at a recent party. She said her sister worked somewhere for 21 years and then was retrenched. That devastated her but eventually she bounced back and got herself another job. 

A year into this new job, she got called into the office and there her manager and HR sat only to tell her that she was being retrenched again. She just laughed and laughed. They were (rightly) worried but she told them that it was totally fine; she'd made it through before so this was really no big deal. She'd be fine.

And that's how I feel.

That now that I've been through (what I think is) the worst job experience ever, definitely of my life thus far, I will be okay with anything.

I will certainly never ever put up with such abuse for so long again. Next time I will "just resign" because I know I'll be okay. I've learnt that I can live on very little money and that in the grand scheme of things, my sanity (and not depending on a little white pill to get me through the morning without crying) really is worth more than a paycheck. I need to write a post on God's amazing provision.

K asked me the other day if my new boss made me cry yet!!!!! And I said, "no, but Baby, that is never going to happen again".

I read a blog post by someone who reads this blog - I won't link in case she feels weird about it - who went through a very similar situation to me. But far shorter. And reading those blog posts was healing for me.

Why?

Because I am not alone. Here is someone just a step away (in the blog world) going through the same thing. So it's probably happening much more than I originally thought. Not just to me.

These horrible work situations that are absolutely unfair happen to good, hardworking people like us as well as to others.

I had a lot of the "why me?" going on. I mean, "seriously, why me, God?!!!" is something I cried probably a couple of times a week at one point. Maybe because I took pride in my work and it's like the worst thing in the world for my work not to work out, you know?

I don't know why this happened to me... still. Maybe I'll never know? Maybe it was random? Maybe because I was female? Maybe because I came from another background and not the same one the rest of the team came from? Maybe I was singled out because I dared to talk about what I was experiencing in an authentic manner and that rubbed someone the wrong way?

I don't know.

But I do know God brought me through it.

It's so awesome when the Word comes to life.

taken by D in the Drakensberg

 Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
(read other translations here)

Did someone need to read that scripture today? (please let me know - it so encourages me!)

So that's a bit of where I am with shine, which is nowhere I thought I'd be.

Have you been through a hellish work situation and come through on the other side? Did it give you a new outlook?
And in other news, tell me, what was your word of the year again, and please give me a quick update.

OHMYGOSH, I just read this post and I think this is why I struggled so much. One of my highest values is fairness and I clearly suffer from the Just World Hypothesis. I couldn't understand (still can't) why all the horrible things were happening to me when I'd done nothing to deserve it. Oh dear!