Here you go - have a read - I'll wait.
You see, I've been thinking about that kind of friendship for awhile.
Someone very close to a friend of mine is going through a situation that is quite awful. A close family member was diagnosed with the C-disease.
Amidst all the sadness, this person's friends have really rallied around and "stepped up". When I hear of the rosters to sort out kids and suppers and such, I am in awe of it all.
It's heartwarming to see love in action like that.
And in the same breath, it's a little bit scary.
Okay, a lot.
Because of two things - 1) I know I have far more acquaintance friends than Tuesday friends and 2) I have to ask myself, "am I a Tuesday friend to enough people?"
Acts of service is my primary love language and I am always willing to physically help out BUT I don't do death well.
A mom at the kids' pre-school wrote something on FB about her other child being in hospital so I sent her a message saying shall I fetch the other child and keep her here? It wasn't necessary because of grandparents but she knew I'd step in and bring food/ whatever/ keep the other one/ whatever was needed.
However, if it were a death, I'd be a little more reserved because death scares me and I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing!
It's also hard knowing what the person needs if they're not a blabbermouth like I tend to be...
So let's talk about it.
Are you a good Tuesday friend?
What tangible acts do you do that we can all learn from?
While we're on the topic of friends, I'm thrilled that I got to meet Pamela when I was in PE nearly a month ago.
We met at the beachfront and had some tea/ coffee while chatting up a storm.
She is just as lovely as she appears online so the time of connection was really lovely!
This is a tough one. I don't think I have many Tuesday people, but I know I try to be one. Only it's more in the form of checking in, being a sounding board than a physical act. I get them occasionally right, like dropping off food, but I don't think it's anywhere near enough. So the lack of physical stuff probably means I'm not one :-/
ReplyDeleteI have a couple of really close friends...ones I'd drop everything for, and they, for me. It feels like an incredible gift to have. I try to be a good friend...I try to read people and understand where they're coming from, and I try to be genuine.
ReplyDeleteI read the post you linked to. What struck me was the line, "Because I think it’s important to pay attention to what makes me cry, I considered why that moment was emotional for me." That's so true. I cried at work this week. It was really a strange experience...not that I haven't cried before (unfortunately, I have! many times!)...but these tears caught me completely off-guard. I'm still trying to figure it out exactly. I do think it's so important to examine ourselves during those times.
Happy Weekend!
Hi my friend....I am glad you met Pamela...and sad that I missed it :(
ReplyDeleteOne of my old blog buddies in Cape Town is stuggeling with the big C at the moment. Her husband was diagnosed in April and he is bedridden at this time. They still have young children. She has not lost her faith and is holding fast to the Lord. I have seen how her family and friends have rallied around them and the love, support and care they are getting. To have friends like those xx
Oh Marcia, I have been thinking about friendship a lot lately - mostly because I feel I do not have enough of those Tuesday friends myself and maybe do not do enough too.
ReplyDeleteAnd I adored meeting Pam too!
I fear that social media just makes friendships so much harder. I'm talking about real, tangible friendships. So often, I "chat" to people on FB...I feel like I know what's going on in their lives, feel part of it. I follow their pictures, know what their kids look like, know what's happening with them BUT when I think about it, I haven't seen them in years. And a lot of the times, we live in the same damn city!!! I, like you, can be a real blabbermouth and I get along with a lot of people but I yearn to have proper friendships. I really do. I wish there were more people I could just meet up with every now and again over a coffee or whatever. People are just so busy these days. Well, so it appears. And I find myself wishing every other long weekend when the neighbours in our complex go away - and most weekends, they do and we're the only people left in our quiet unit! - that we had a group of people or family or friends to go away with.
ReplyDeleteJodie
you are so right about social media - it's the immediacy and the intimacy that makes us feel closer than we sometimes are.
DeleteYou know I prayed a few years ago for just two good friends, and God gave me more than two people.
And I think I must do the same - pray for two more friends in the neighbourhood and maybe those will be mothers at the school. who knows?
Why don't you do the same?
Yes you are right, social media gives us the illusion of having more "friends" than we really do. And sadly so ...
ReplyDeleteI really do hope I am a Tuesday friend to my friends. I am an "action/do it" type of person so when my loved ones and friends are in need other than praying for them I act, a phone call here, a visit there. I've learned sometimes that is all it takes to be a good friend. I know most people ask "let me know if I can do anything for you" but most times just doing is essential. It could be as easy as a quick google search for something an incapacitated friend needs to help them get better.
That post affected me for many reasons. Because I realise more than ever that I don't really have Tuesday friends. I am very aware that my introverted nature is probably the cause of this - I don't easily allow people into my personal space. That said, I work VERY hard to be a Tuesday friend. I'll do anything except cook for my friends who are struggling!
ReplyDelete