So yes, I had about 4 - 5 months that were hard friendship-wise, but that's not the only things that have happened.
There have been much more good than not-so-good things.
In the last 2 weeks actually, 3 really nice things happened:
1. I invited and met up with someone I used to work with in that crazy job. We keep in touch and we got together earlier this year too.
Anyway, we had tea and a scone (by the way, straight after work on a Friday is a great time to meet a friend for a tea - some Fridays most of us could get off a little earlier, and an hour takes you home still "normal" time if you plan nicely), and good conversation.
I received a whatsapp (of course!) later thanking me and she said, "thank you for showing me how to do this friendship thing". I was blown away. Isn't that nice of her to say?!
2. Then I had a half-day seminar last week and I knew I should use the time while out of the office to meet someone for lunch.
I invited a friend who works nearby to meet me for a late lunch/ tea and remarkably (because these things usually don't work out - we always have to meet on the weekend) it worked out.
She also said "thank you so much for inviting me". She's actually exactly like me with friendship - most always the initiator and interestingly, she mentioned at our lunch that she'd pulled back from a lot of people (strengthening those boundaries) who weren't reciprocating.
3. Last but no means least, I finally met Terisha who many of you follow and are followed by on Instagram. Terisha and I have been missing each other in Ballito and at concerts for ages, so I just thought it's high time we actually met as she lives near me.
We did that on Monday straight after work and it was so lovely to finally meet.
Yes, Terisha is as sweet and encouraging in person as she is online.
We're getting together again soon for a crafternoon with some other ladies :)
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Many people tell me things are too big a schlep. I agree, they can be if that is your mindset (but I don't buy it in most cases), but did you notice the theme of attaching a quick something to something already happening? All these dates lasted maximum 1 hour 15 minutes.
I was going home anyway for two of these so I detoured about 1 - 2 km off my normal route to meet up with friends, and for the other, I was in the area, half way between both our offices.
Something I like to do is make a date straight after gym, near my gym. It's win-win (if I take a fresh T-shirt) - it forces me to not skip gym and it's perfect because I need to eat something anyway.
A friend told me she makes early Sunday evening dates from 6 - 8. It's usually wasted time because you're faffing around at home (true) and there is time to meet a friend and come home to prepare for the week. Husband watches kids (not babysits!) and gets to spend quality time without the mother.
Where in your normal routine can you attach a little friend meet-up to a place you normally go?
Such a great idea. We have some friends in the same apartment complex as us, so it's easy to visit them for a quick hi. Other folks, not so easy, but we try.
ReplyDeleteOOOHHHH, that sounds divine. I have a friend who lives close but she doesn't ask questions about me, so I stopped inviting her to things, but those close friends are amazing!
DeleteMy friendship dates have been very minimal lately. Lots happening! But this is a great idea!
ReplyDeleteI have stopped asking people who never do, and I guess this means I have a few less friends. I have a friend who lives near me, and we do not see each other that often, but I know she is a friend and our friendship is fine with a message here or there or a quick call before kiddies bathtime.
ReplyDeleteFriendship dates are a good idea.
I have been trying to comment on this post for a while now but my comment kept getting lost. It was so nice to finally meet you. Can't wait for the next one. Love how you prioritise friendship and always make a plan. So inspiring.
ReplyDelete