What are your values?

What is most important to you?

Are you able to answer the question easily? Or did you have to think about it a bit?

Your values are those things that guide your decisions and behaviour.

They are deeply ingrained in you and speak to the core of who you are.

They are not your morals though.

Why is it a good idea to know what your values are?

It helps with your decision-making.

When I had to make the decision about the job offer, I eventually turned it down because I felt my number 1 value, freedom, would be compromised.

Let's have another example from one of my coaching clients.

She's a consultant whose highest value is security. Constantly stressed and overwhelmed trying to make a consistent income and wondering why she's not enjoying what she always wanted - her own company. Well, it's because the nature of the work is that some months are good, some months are bad and there's no security.

One more example... a lady whose highest value was family moved away from Durban to Joburg for better, higher-paying jobs for her and her husband. She was dreadfully unhappy here for about 3 years until she eventually decided to move back to be near her family. Is now earning less in Durban but is BLISSFULLY happy because she's living her values.

If you can't decide about your values, something that helps is to ask, "when something significant happens in my life, what's the first thing I think of?"

Once you have your top 5, prioritise them 1 - 5.

Get your hubby to do the same and discuss the results on your next date night :) It sounds boring but it is so insightful. When D and I first did this exercise together (I used to run relationship workshops and this was one of the most powerful exercises the couples did), we spent about two hours talking about our results. Your relationship improves as you understand what makes them tick.

I can't give you the values assessment I use with my clients since they do pay for this but I found a free one for you on the web. If you don't see words on here that resonate with you, add your own. The words provided are just a guideline.

http://www.career.uno.edu/pdfs/values_assessment.pdf

My top values are:

1. freedom
2. integrity
3. authenticity
4. connection
5. achievement
6. courage
7. excellence
8. action
9. fairness
10. order
    

What are your values?

So, about the job offer

I declined.

It was a combination of 3 things actually:

1. A work friend and I had lunch a few weeks ago and she said something that stood out to me - her career could be growing faster elsewhere but this is the right environment for her now while her kids are small.

2. Another friend and I had an email conversation just last week and I said something like "I would take up to a R2000 salary cut for better work hours".

3. My email response to Natalie's comment on the job offer post. I don't know what it was but writing that email clarified things for me and I was 95% clear after that.

The next day I saw the dummy payslip and that sealed the deal.

That and the fact that I stopped thinking so much and followed my intuition.

It's served me quite well in the past so I don't quite know why I was overthinking things. Fear maybe?

I made a meeting with the guy yesterday and told him I'd be declining and why.

My main reasons? work hours and flexibility, followed by visibility/ profile in the company and then salary.

The telling thing is on Monday after I emailed Natalie I slept like a baby and have done so ever since, which is just fantastic.

The best thing about all of this is that I have increased clarity about what's most important to me right now, at this stage in my life, and that is freedom.

I spoke about freedom in the last post too but I want to write a post soon about values.

What a relief!

What's going on in your lives? Share any little tidbit with me, like what you had for breakfast or lunch, or what you're wearing :)

P.S. I had a toasted bacon and avo on wholewheat bread and I'm wearing black pants and a black and white shirt :)