Light at the end of the tunnel

Things are actually looking up.

I almost feel like I shouldn't write this post in case I jinx things. Then again I don't actually believe in jinxing...

But I've been putting it off for weeks now.

I don't know the exact moment it happened but a good few weeks ago, around the 10-week mark, I suddenly realised, "I actually enjoy being with these babies".

(1) Finally I was experiencing the feeling that everybody was talking about - the enjoyment of having the babies.

It took a long time in coming and I really wondered if I'd have to wait until they were a year.... or two....

And I've been really, really enjoying them the last two weeks or so. On Tuesday, they'll be 17 weeks old!

K having a bath - nervous nelly

(2) They both first smiled at 9 weeks and then nothing major (well, that I saw. maybe they saved it for their daddy or the nanny) for weeks except when we worked really, really hard and they'd grace us with one just to keep us sane.

I swear these kids know how to keep you on your toes.

Well, since week 15, we've been getting lots of smiles every day. And who can be grumpy at 3am while changing a stinky poo nappy when you get a beautiful smile?

And this last week, Connor's been gurgling and cooing which is too sweet.

I know you want to hear about the sleep! That's a whole other post all on its own because I have issues!

Connor hates it when I keep clicking away - have to wait til he's sleeping :)

(3) Kendra was sick three weeks ago so the doctor said we could give her Baby Panado for 2 - 3 nights. I did so the first night and she went 6 hours between feeds!

After that act of brilliance you almost want to keep doing it just to keep them sleeping.

Joke!

But it did give me hope that she could go longer than 3 hours - she never had before.

Then the next week, without the Baby Panado, she did the 6-hour stint for two nights running, and then did 2 X 5-hour stints the nights after that.

After those first good sessions (which are from about 6 - 7pm), there's a shorter one of either 3 or 4 hours.

A thoughtful Kendra

Those of you who have babies sleeping through are thinking so what? but for us, that is HUGE! Even an hour longer than scheduled is excellent for us (and for my immune system).

Connor has managed one 6-hour stint ever in his life, but regularly has a 5-hour session followed by a 4 - 4,5 hour session.

C - sucking his fist

I've just been reading through The Notebook and I see they sleep better for us than they do for the night nanny! Yay, babies. They know their parents' savings account is just about out of money for a night nanny.

One last thing... perspective is a wonderful thing. I had lunch with my friend from the NICU on Wednesday and when she was telling me how her little one is doing (lots of medical issues - also born at 32 weeks like my two), I really got so grateful that my two are healthy.

So we're not sleeping quite as much as we'd like to (my goal is 2 X 6-hour stints), so my bank account is basically empty, so I have nanny issues (I should say control issues!), so Kendra is a fussy eater but the babies are healthy and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

Anyway, the point of all that rambling is that the babies are responding more to us which is great! And they're sleeping slightly better which is even more great!

So all in all, either things are looking up or my attitude is better :)

How are you doing?