Do you like getting advice from others?

I was planning on only posting tomorrow… until I saw the question of the week on the MoM blog

What is the best and worst advice you have ever received on raising your multiples?

§ How do you handle unsolicited advice? Do you like getting advice from other moms?

§ Who do you always turn to when you have a parenting question?

§ What's the most helpful thing you have ever learned by reading someone's blog?

§ Share with us the worst piece of advice you were ever given!

§ What is YOUR best piece of advice for other moms?

I don’t think the best or worse advice I ever received was specifically related to multiples as the only people I knew who had twins were 4 girls from the infertility support group who, quite honestly, ALL seemed to have it together.

I really thought I was the only one who felt like I did which is why I seriously turned to blogging about my struggles – cheap therapy.

But the absolute best advice I received was from a work colleague who came to visit when the babies were about 6 weeks old.

She told me that it’s all about SURVIVAL, nothing else. Don’t try to be a good or perfect mother – just do whatever it takes to survive. We were talking about money at the time and I was having a moan about spending my hard-earned bonus on a night nanny LOL

So now, my best piece of advice for other new mothers is, “count down those days to twelve weeks because it honestly gets better after that”. That, and you don’t need even a TENTH of the stuff everyone says you need. This is something I’m quite passionate about – I can’t understand why, as intelligent women, we’re taken in by all the marketing hype that we must have all the latest gadgets, clothes, toys, etc to parent our children!

Another really, really good piece of advice I got was not on another blog but was in a comment on my own:

Each child is always working on something – and it’s often something different - and I see it with my two. Connor’s the better sleeper but Kendra’s the better eater. Kendra rolled first (and has now crawled first) but Connor sat first, etc, etc.

Just today at church, a little boy came scooting over, took Connor’s rattle and the father came over to give it back. He asked how old mine were when they first got their teeth as his little boy is about 10 months old and has no teeth. So I said, “he’s working on other things”. The father looked grateful when I said that but it’s true – he was crawling ALL over the place and standing up by himself.

And of course, my paed said something very early on which has stood me in good stead: the babies just happened to be born at the same time but they are their own people and will develop at their own speed. That, and don’t worry about the milestones – they will catch up by the time they’re two J

So I don’t worry.

To answer the questions properly, I love getting advice from others but it depends how it’s given. If it’s in a know-it-all way, thanks, but no thanks. But genuine caring? I love it.

I turn to the internet when I have a question. And if it’s still bugging me, then I ask the nurse or paed at my next appointment.

I’ve read SO MANY things on other blogs that have helped me but I think the things that help me most is when I get reminders to just relax J

The worse piece of advice for me – sleep when the babies sleep J

So tell me, what’s the best piece of advice YOU’ve ever received?

P.S. My worst piece of advice about infertility (that still gets me on my little soap box) is just to relax and have a holiday and you’ll magically fall pregnant. My answer, “that may be true in a small number of cases for unexplained infertility but no amount of relaxing will fix broken tubes, endometriosis and bad sperm”.