The "twins"

I ran a ministry at our church for seven years where we helped members to find their unique God-given passion and gifts.

I considered it a real honour and privilege to go through that process with people and have them say things like "so that's why I'm like that; I never understood it before but it all makes sense now".

Loved it! There's very little that puts me on a natural high like helping people find their gifts and passions.

Maybe it stems from there but wherever it comes from, I am passionate about people knowing that they are unique and special just as they are.

That they don't have to be one bit different or try and change one facet of their personality to fit in.

So then I have twins and I find people just lump them together. Which, as you can now understand, drives me a whole lot crazy.

Of course they also compare them - aside from the rather obvious size issues, they're both working on different skills all the time so yes, K crawled first but C had the first tooth. K rolled first but C sleeps better. And so on.

It's nothing personal; it's obviously my issue rather than anyone else's.

It does help that I have boy/ girl twins. I imagine it would be worse with two girls or two boys because then they'd really be compared with one another.

I don't even call them "the twins" - when I phone the doctor for an appointment, I say "it's M, Kendra and Connor's mother". Sometimes I have to explain that they're twins (date of birth issues) and I reluctantly admit it :)

I want them to have their individual identities and know that they're each special to God and to us.

They each have special gifts, talents and very different and unique personalities.

They just happened to be born at the same time.

Now here's something else too - I obviously get this question a lot.

"How are the twins?"

And I honestly don't know what to say so I say..

"The babies are fine" or "Kendra and Connor are growing nicely". Something that differentiates them but also a very general answer.

Because I find most people don't want to know how they're REALLY doing. And as you know by now, I'm very literal.

So if you ask me how I'm doing I'll tell you I'm having the DAY FROM HELL or that I seriously am in love with those grey skies outside :)

And it's the same if I ask someone how they're doing. I really do want to know otherwise I wouldn't ask.

The truth is the babies are growing and developing so quickly every day but who's really interested in the detail, except people going through the same stuff?

Over to you!

What do you say when people ask after you, your husband or your child(ren)? Do you say, "oh, the twins are fine", do you give a detailed answer, or somewhere in between?


P.S. This is my post for Steadymom's 30-minute blog challenge.

P.P.S. My friend, C's twin girls are one year old today. At that time I was 12 weeks pregnant and we then had to start telling the families.