So the babies were 11 months old last Monday.
I was all excited to go see Sister Carla to ask her about Connor's on and off food strike.
"My concern is keeping a fine balance because I want him to get enough nutritious food but also I don't want eating / mealtimes to become an issue.
And...
The more seasoned mothers among you will be nodding your heads ... but there is nothing wrong with him.
She said he is trying to assert his independence (with a control freak mother) and is very clearly showing when he's had enough (he purses his lips and shakes his head no, no, NO!).
She suggested a couple of things:
- have a choice available for meals and always start with the healthier choice (my Annabel Karmel meals - do you know I am still cooking them once a week?!) and then have the back-up ready (Provita and peanut butter/ toast with cottage cheese).
- don't force the issue - when he says no, it's no.
- let him start feeding himself - OY! (she said it's normal that half the food ends up on him, the chair, the floor but it is all normal and there's no other way for him to learn - double OY!)
Kendra has no problems but they do this sympathetic crying thing so when he starts acting up, she'll start too.
There was a small concern with K getting enough milk because she doesn't really care for milk and with them having 3 meals and 2 snacks, she's happy to not have a lot.
Apparently you count milk and milk products - I hadn't been counting in the yoghurt and the milk we use to make their cereal - so there is NO problems. They both get well over 500 ml a day.
With the sleeping, ha! She very nicely told me that they definitely don't need to have any bottles at night (try telling them!) and if we don't want problems later on, we'd best do some sleep training.
Those words send TERROR into my heart.
But I told D and we decided that we'd do it the wussy way - by weakening their bottles even more. So now at night they get 50 ml of formula and 100 ml of water. Connor accepted it for a couple of nights but then SCREAMED on night 3. I had to steel myself to not go get him a proper bottle by chanting, "he doesn't need this bottle!" because I can't bear the sound of the crying.
Tonight is night 7 and then we're going to weaken even more.
Over the 6 days, they've both slept through once and on the other 5 nights they only woke once, usually around 4 (after 10 hours sleep), but last night it was 1.30 (I think that's due to the party they went to yesterday).
As for the eating, I'm a little hesitant to write this but I think we're over the hurdle for the moment because that very night at supper, he ate beautifully with V feeding him and then even fed himself properly for the first time (with a spoon!). He's repeated this at every lunch and supper so it was definitely that he wanted to feed himself.
Now, the stats:
Connor weighs 10.18 kg (22,4 pounds) and Kendra weighs 7.45 kg (16.4 pounds). The gap is narrowing. At 9 months there was a 2,9 kg difference in their weight; now there's only 2,72.
So that's it - all is good.
Only thing - next month they need more injections.
How was your week last week? What do you have planned for this week?
P.S. I need to tell you what I realised after the electricity headache and what I'm doing to get a new, improved, streamlined life (!)
I heart Sister Carla.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the babies/small toddlers! are growing well. Love that they're asserting their independence.
I hate the learning to feed business too. Maybe V can take the lead on that? :p
This week? Moving D into a bigger bedroom so that her toys can be contained. Don't judge me :p She just inherited a huge stack of lovely toys. She'll really enjoy them, I just don't want to see them in our living areas. So bigger bedroom it is. Brrrr cold here. So my other objective is to stay warm :) Have a fantastic week.
Sounds like they are doing great! I'm a wussy sleep trainer too, our baby girl wakes every night (has NEVER slept through the night) around 1:30, takes a bottle, and goes right back down... in our bed. I don't have the heart to listen to her cry. I was just as bad with her big brother and he did OK eventually so surely she will too?!?! If you find the secret, let me know!
ReplyDeleteI think Connor sent his food-strike shop steward to House Webb coz David has joined the ranks! OH how I took for granted the last few months when he ate everything in a jiffy, no flying food or mother in tears; and no bin full of lovingly prepared (and healthy!) food. This is a challenge. I thought he didn't like the home prepared food, so I bought purity. He ate it. I was mad! Then today he turned down anything that came his way on a spoon, unless he was holding it. I think I need to let him feed himself - but boy, the mess! He doesn't know how to feed himself - and when I give him finger food I fear that not much goes down. But I take heart from your post - he may grow out of it - I hope quickly...
ReplyDeleteActually, you aren't supposed to have a "backup" for kids - if you read Child of Mine (that Laura Case recommended) it says that you give your kids 3-5 foods on their plate/tray that are what you want them to eat and that's it. If they don't eat it then are done - but if they eat one item keep replenishing that item until they don't want more of it. Just wait until you put them to bed for the first time without food - we've done that a few times with Ned when he refused to eat. (BTW, we totally had the same frustrations with Ned at 11 months - table food/finger food is definitely the way to go.) Sure, I worry that he's skinny (he's always been about 25%) but I'd rather send him to bed without supper once in a while than battle every night that he just wants to eat french fries.
ReplyDeleteYou can be strong about sleep training. One thing I asked/told myself was whether it was was for the kids to be gradually weaned or just "rip" the bandaid off. I decided to go with rip and I don't regret it one bit - there was no negotiation with myself or my husband every night, no changing things up every few days. Just "no more, I'm done going in" and bam, it worked in 3 nights.
What is it with boys at 11 months?
ReplyDeleteSaffy, I definitely delegate anything food I can!
Kahla, exactly - you don't hear of teenagers waking in the night, do you? LOL
Nat, you're voicing all my concerns exactly - I think we have to provide double what should actually go in them and hope for the best...
Mommy Esq, I'm just providing options to get us over the hump. So far I haven't had to resort to using them though.
Last night both went to bed without very much in them... on the bright side, there are always bottles :)
Sounds like they are doing great! Definitely don't make food a power struggle thing. I was watching my friend's 3 1/2 year old daughter last week one evening and we were all eating dinner. She didn't each much as she wanted cookies and I told her she needed to eat more of her dinner. She was starting to ask "How many bites." which is what she does with her mom and I said, "We don't play that game here. You know when you've eaten enough dinner." She finished her spinach but didn't each much of her macaroni and cheese. I let it go. I mean, she ate the spinach! I pick my battles and if that's what she wanted to eat, who am I to complain!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, last week was tough for us. I'm working on getting back to normal this week. Niki had to be out of town Monday through Wednesday, so I spent three days trying to work and take care of babies at the same time. Ugh!