Bears and babies in school

I told you how I had a burst of energy last weekend and sorted out kids' clothes.

By the way, I can't wait for summer to declutter last year's summer clothes because the kids have too many things. Does anyone else get excited about decluttering? I love "white space" in the wardrobes!

Anyway, I told Nanny V to only come pick up her bags of clothes when the weather warmed up a bit because little babies really shouldn't be out in the horrible winter weather unless absolutely necessary.

And so when we had our lovely 23 and 24-degree weather this week, I quickly phoned V and said, "I think you better come fetch the clothes".

Well, she did and they all had a lovely time.

She texted me a pic of my two on the couch with her baby lying across the kids' laps.

Surreal but very cute.

She also said they've grown so big in the last 4 months - true!

I wonder what it was like for her seeing Nanny S doing what she used to do.

I know she is still the better teacher of the kids and was more playful with them, but Nanny S is (always) punctual and reliable and very organised.

Which brings me to next year.

I'm torn about this pre-school business.

Half day vs full day vs full-time maid vs 2 - 3 times a week maid.

The reality is this - I can't cope (and I have no shame in saying this) without a maid at least twice a week. I hate laundry with a passion and we all know how much kids produce.

And my personality is such that I will freak out daily if the house is too much of a mess.

So in my ideal world, my kids would go to school half days and then spend the afternoons with a nanny. I would come home to kids who are bathed and in their pjs, and a clean house.

Depending on the school and if I need to arrange transport to take the babies back home, that solution would cost me about R7500. Maybe a bit more.

Which in my mind is way too much to spend.

I know a lot of you Joburgers are happy with these kinds of crazy amounts but I'm not - I really like money in the bank!

The other option is to have the kids go full-day and have a cleaning lady 2 - 3 times a week. That will be about R6 500 but I will have to get to the school on time (so leave whether meetings have overrun or not) and bath the kids plus do suppers plus prep for the next day. With D, of course, but still... crazy.

Actually now that I write it all out, not having the evening craziness is well worth paying R1000 extra IF we can afford it.

I still haven't done the budget for next year because I'm slightly scared.

I don't know where this post is going and I'm well aware that the US folk are thinking I'm way too spoilt (totally agree!). But the fact of the matter is in South Africa we do have access to lots of "cost-effective" labour :)

I spoke to one work friend yesterday who says I'm MAD to want to pay for the half-day option.

I told her R1000 = a permanently clean house = priceless for my mental energy :)

How did you sort all this out in your mind?

What were your deciding factors? Or did finances not play a part?

Pre-school continued, this time talking costs

Thank you SO MUCH for your wonderful and plentiful comments (and emails!) on the last pre-school post.

There were a couple of things I wanted to answer but instead of doing it in the comments, I thought I'd write another post because nobody I know goes back to read the comments, right?

(feel free to correct me)


Costs

These vary so much from school to school.

Some schools only provide a snack and lunch, others provide breakfast too, some do only snacks as they only do half-day with aftercare (in this case you need to provide your kids' lunch which they will heat for you).

Mandy, I don't think you should compare our costs to US costs. It's just crazy. Some things are just not comparable :) because there is no way anyone other then the very rich would be able to afford R12 000 per child per month. No way!

The truth is that these are the costs where I live, Johannesburg. This is the most expensive part of the country. In other parts of SA, schools seem to be cheaper. I know if we lived in PE (where I'm from), I could send BOTH of mine to a full-day place for the price of one child up here. That is unfortunately reality. My mother is horrified at the costs up here and now understands why it's cheaper to get a nanny to look after twins than send them to daycare/ preschool.

Deanna, on the extra-murals. This seems to be consistent in most of the schools. If you want your child to participate in things like ballet, gymnastics, music, swimming, etc. then they have people who come in and do these activities in the afternoon but those costs are additional to the standard fees.

The one school (incidentally the one I love the most because of Christian values, etc but one of the most expensive) says that parents need to beware of over-scheduling their kids (I am firmly in agreement with this) and that their curriculum caters for a well-rounded child so extra-murals are not necessary until age 6. What do you think?

Four of the 6 schools give a discount for twin 2.

But LauraC, you are amazing. I would not be able to bring myself to pay those kinds of prices. :) What are the prices in other parts of the country?

Requirements

Some of the schools take babies from 6 months, others from 18 months and then there's one who wants them at 2.5 AND potty trained. Now I've not written about potty training on the blog (but I have commented here and there, esp on MandyE's posts) but I wasn't even planning to consider it til 3.

That's all I'm saying for now :)


Uniforms & incidentals

The school with the uniforms only insists that they wear the uniform on Fridays (kind of the opposite of work, where most big corporates do casual Fridays :)) because they go on "field trips" and so it's easy to herd all the kids together. As a practical and very frugal person, I can't see why they don't just say, "all kids wear red t-shirts on Fridays". Much cheaper!

As for the apron and so on, I know. It kills me. I bought non-fancy aprons for R20 each and the fancier versions were R50 each! But sometimes it's not worth the fight....

School visits

Yes, I absolutely plan to go do random, unscheduled visits :) to see the real action. This is one time where I like unscheduled :)

One of the infertility mothers owns a pre-school and I wrote to her since she doesn't read the blog, well, not that I know of. She said a lot of what you said but ended off with something like this: go visit them all because sometimes there is something that just clicks with you as a family. Nothing wrong with the other schools but one will just stand out and work for you.

Very sound advice.

Dilemma

I love, love, LOVE the sound of that Christian school although it's only half-day with aftercare. Also a woman I know (the mother of the girl who sat at our table at the wedding) teaches the class K & C would be in, and she is fantastic. Ran some of the children's ministry at my church for years.

But it is very expensive compared to at least two others.

I am the type of person that if I see value, I will MAKE A WAY. Like with the IVFs. But I really don't feel like spending all that extra money.

Because I will turn into That Parent if I'm annoyed about things.

My one colleague at work is spending a fortune (R80 000 a year) to educate one of their sons at a private school (that is a blog post for another day) and she found out that one of the teachers lets them sleep and do nothing in his class. She flipped out (understandably) and the school just did and is doing nothing. Now that would send me over the edge. Somehow she's made peace for the rest of this year (since it's not a major subject) but is pulling him out next year (this is not the only issue).

Anyway, the point is.. the bond WILL be paid off this year. Hopefully end of August when I get my bonus. Look how positive I'm being but I told my boss about this goal and he was all, "wow, Marcia, that's fantastic" and I said, "of course, it does depend on me getting a fabulous bonus" and he was all, "hahahaha but seriously, it shouldn't be a problem". Yay!

But I wanted the no bond to free us up, not bond us to schools. I want to travel!!! Oy.

If you have more questions, please feel free to ask in the comments - I love to find out how things work in your side of the world. And sometimes "your side" of the world means Fourways and Sandton :)

Okay, have to go. I have the second weekend social arriving in 33 minutes and I'm still in pjs :)

About education - what are your feelings about government and private schools?

Diagnosis - tonsillitis and bronchitis

V and I took the babies to the doctor yesterday.

They were crazy kids, crying and wailing when she tried to examine them, poor things.

The doc and her 5th year medical student assistant (this girl looked about 16 and so I realised that I'm getting old!) were amazed at how much K & C are talking.

I never quite know what to say in response to these things and I don't want to discount their talking by being dismissive, so I just say, "er, yes, they do talk quite a bit".

They must have been comfortable with the doctor because they're usually a bit quiet when they meet people for the first time.

We got their prescriptions and I took them all straight home (all 400 m down the road - literally! I checked my odometer) because the babies were getting cranky and needed to nap.

Here's the part where I think I'm oh-so-clever.

I checked the medicine in the fridge against the prescription and saw that we had 3 of the 6 things they needed!

Yay - and enough to last them through this whole bout of illness.

D has a really selective memory and I always freak out when he buys duplicate bottles of medicine because

a) I hate wasting money
b) you can't return medicine
c) I hate finding place to store unnecessary things

He does this regularly for his own stuff and has done the same with the babies, at least twice.

Don't you think it's a good idea to keep an inventory of medicines with you? I think it's a fantastic idea!

So I only spent R475 on medicines.

(I say only to cheer myself up.)

Here's the part that relates to the shopping.

I needed to get back to work for 3 back-to-back meetings (in the end, I skipped the first to prepare a presentation for the 2nd one) so I faxed through the prescription and went to collect it after work.

Big mistake.

Next time I'll just go in the middle of the day.

People are so rude, the shops are so full and it is just Not Fun.

Since I was there, I took all the cans of Nutren Jr on the shelf, all 8 of them. R5 off per can since last time. Don't sneeze at that - we go through a can every 2 - 2.5 days so that's almost an extra can (free) for the month.

Last night Kendra vomited twice before 9 pm (and she calls ME to come see to her!) because she had a high temperature again (38.6!).

Today they're looking better but the noses are still pouring.

*sigh*

And you know how I hate cancelling appointments but I'm afraid I will have to cancel a lunch date with good friends of ours. I can't very well welcome them into The House of Sick as D has also succumbed to the illness.

On the bright side, maybe I can escape for an hour or so tomorrow to do some errands.

What do you have planned for the weekend?

P.S. This is the post I had to retype that blogger lost yesterday. I hope I learn from my mistake and copy before hitting publish post!

Quick update on the Nutren Jnr

Remember my one concern about the new milk for the babies?

It wasn't just cost.

Kendra refuses to drink any more than what she always was drinking. In fact, she's drinking less milk, I think because she's getting fuller from the Nutren.

Before she'd have 150 ml full cream in the mornings, now she leaves 20 - 40 ml every morning. At night she is taking 100 - 110 ml, the same as she'd had before.

We've tried giving extra bottles during the day - she will not take it (we persisted for about 4 days before I emailed the dietitian).

My default style is not to worry about these things and carry on with the food as before (as they are such good eaters) but I wanted to find out if I was being too blase about it.

K is a smart cookie; if she senses that her eating (or drinking) is important to us, she gets picky about the food. I didn't want to turn her off her milk totally so I even say "should I give this to Connor?" and she is definitely done because she says "yes" :)

So I emailed the dietitian and here is her email response:

Nutren junior or PediaSure will definitely make your kids fuller (it’s a complete meal replacement).

To cut costs, you can give half milk requirement as Nutren and the other as full cream milk. It is always a skill to get the right balance of giving enough nutritional support without affecting the eating or making an issue of drinking/eating more to catch up weight.

I wouldn’t give Kenda any more bottles if she is not happy to drink it. Give her what she can take without causing a fuss.

Totally agree with this.

I am doing their morning and bedtime bottles with Nutren. For cereal and cooking (and custard in winter - mmm, can't wait), I use full cream.

Connor is easily having 500 ml or more a day, 350ml of that is Nutren and Kendra has about the same as before (400 ml) but 250ml of that is Nutren.



I updated their spreadsheet with the latest weights and calculated where they should be in 2 months when we see Dr S again. So we're working towards it but not stressing unduly, which I think is the healthy way to do things anyway.

Do you ever worry about your children's eating?

P.S. I had a lady come up to me in the shops to ask me about baby formula, etc. Clearly I looked like I knew what I was doing? Maybe because I had the babies with me?

A much better year, money-wise

I’m tying up budgets and whatnot for last year so I can close off my 2010 spreadsheet (don't laugh) and...

Last year we spent R60,148.67 on the babies.

This is over 12 months so basically R5,000 a month, which includes V’s salary and the two bonuses we gave her.

Compare that to 2009 when in a mere 6 months we spent a whopping R52,500.

Don't ask me how - I only know we weren't paying for IVFs so that's probably how. That and our work bonuses.

Things are indeed looking up.

Although this is the last year we'll have a small baby budget as the intention is to send them to preschool next year.

I'm hoping that we can start them in mid-2012 (they will be 3 in July. 3!) as every 6 months of savings helps.

What are you guys doing about pre-school?

When do you want to send your kid (s)?

Am I the only nerd thinking and planning the money?

Speaking of money

I remember when we had our very first Fertility Babies meeting on 14 November last year my babies were a mere 4 months old.

I remember the date because we got the SMS that Caren's twins (the ones in the middle in these pics) were born while at the meeting which I think is really cool - I just LOVE when things like that happen.

Of course one of the things that came up in the discussion was money as at that stage we were spending between R10 and R12 000 a MONTH - normal stuff plus the paed, opthalmologist, audiologist, vaccinations, etc. Crazy!

I couldn't see the future as my life was craziness at home plus swipe, swipe, swipe of the credit card and a very rapidly diminishing savings account.

One of the more experienced mothers whose twins were 17 months at the time said that it gets better, both physically and financially. When the babies eat proper food and drink milk, they also go through fewer nappies (diapers). ALL round win-win.

Well, despite my misgivings, it happened. And sooner than I thought. From month 6 our bills started going down.

The night nanny left, 3-monthly paed visits instead of every 2 - 4 weeks, no more opthalmologist or audiologist, no doctors and cheap vaccinations in the form of my lovely Sister Carla up the road.

After 12 months, no more formula, and despite Dr S saying we could stop baby vitamins, I still continue - I'm scared to mess with a good thing. But that is the only thing that is exactly the same as when they were tiny babies - vitamins in their morning milk.

And these days we're spending so little money on the babies (*fingers crossed*) that we were able to buy their car seats from our normal "baby budget" last month.

Granted, I am not the most extravagant mother but I have loosened up on the clothes (I still prefer not to have more than 8 changes of clothes per size per baby - doesn't always work out though) and book spending (just this week I bought 5 love languages of children for me and 3 Priddy books for them, on MandyE's recommendation).

We have a budget where we pool all money, save separately and together, and both have discretionary spending money. We've used this system for years and it works VERY well (I even coach clients to do the same).

I have a separate category for "baby stuff" which includes nanny, clothes, toys, nappies, pharmacy, medical and other. Those categories work for us.

I like having a separate baby budget so I can see if we're going crazy in one area and why. In Sept we went over by R57 (unlike me) but when I went back to see why, it was due to the car seats. Which actually means we did really well.

Do you budget? How do you budget for your kids?

In other news, my bedroom is a normal colour again (Plascon Fragrant Days) and we both love it! I got the painter in on Tuesday, exactly 4 months later so you can't say I didn't give it a good bash at living with the new colour. Next up my study... then pics!

Um yes, totally done

Oddly enough, even though Eve lives right near me, we've never met.

D delivered the GonalF plus an "all the best" card to our wonderful fertility clinic and Eve collected it at her next appointment.

Maybe it was a little strange that I went to visit her in the hospital. She had her baby boys on Wednesday at 38 weeks 4 days (I am in AWE!) at a scheduled Caesar (no drama whatsoever).

I didn't think it was strange since we've emailed a lot and sent text messages back and forth but then again, I am weird, and this year I'm about just doing things and not thinking so much.

(speaking about weird, I just went "Mmmmm" when I had a spoonful of plain, low fat yoghurt - is there anything better?!)

Also I know how much I appreciate visits and I like to make people feel a little bit special.

So off I went and amazingly I didn't get lost. I can get lost very easily even if I've been to a place before.

They let me go into the NICU and a nurse told me to hold the one baby after washing hands, of course.

Oh my word!

Perfection.

Cute, wrinkly, newborn goodness.

They are SO very precious when that small.

I hardly knew what to do or how to hold him (we forget so quickly!) but I pretended and figured it out.

They are both just so gorgeous and yet...

I realised for sure there is no way I want the responsibility of such tiny babies again. No way.

Apparently the absolute craziness of the first 3 months scared me way too much.

How/ when did you know (finally) that you were done?

And these kids weren't even tiny. The one boy, D, at 3.2 kg was double what Kendra weighed! The other one, J, was a very healthy 2.5 kg.

She had 5,7 kg of baby inside her - amazing. I told her she's a rock star :)

And look how good she looks!

The hospital is set in these gorgeous surroundings. When I had my laparoscopy in 2008, the room I was in overlooked this deliciousness. Not-so-little gifts from God.

I really wanted to have the babies here until I heard about the extra R4 500 I'd have to pay ABOVE what the medical aid would cover.

Also, Dr C only delivered babies at the hospital around the corner from my house. In the end it all worked out - I had brilliant nurses, a good recovery and because of the NICU stay, great that it was 2 minutes away vs 15 minutes.

Eve and I discovered we're now with the same gynae as Dr C's emigrated to New Zealand (I am jealous - the COLD!) and his patients have been transferred to her gynae.

I leave you with some twin cuteness observed just this morning. V was changing their sheets so she put them both in the other cot. They were quite happy with Kendra laying on Connor with her feet hanging out.

How often do you change your babies' sheets?

We do every week unless they mess on them before that. My friend, Ilse, said she does them daily.

I was horrified - imagine all the laundry! :)

P.S. New trick I'm not too thrilled about - they rip each other's dummies out of the mouth and then suck it themselves! Here in the pic they've just done that. Ugh LOL

What do you spend on nappies every month?

Oh, nappies = diapers :)

We had such fun with the cost of formula post that I thought we should do another one of these.

Kendra currently wears Pampers 2. Can you believe she only went into them at 6 months?! I could have kept her in Pampers 1 for another week or so but I liked the neatness of it being exactly 6 months.

Connor's wearing Pampers 3 but this is probably the last bag he'll use as he needs to move to Pampers 4.

We've discussed my addiction to Pampers before - I can't even THINK about putting them in something else.

Now let's talk money.

I buy their nappies at Toys R Us. They've had a special for the last couple of months where a jumbo pack costs R162. It usually costs R215 so big saving.

The babies each go through about two bags a month. If you're interested, K's has 94 and C's 82.

During the day we change their nappy every 3 - 4 hours, sometimes longer if they're napping, but always immediately if they make a poo! I'll confess that with big poos, I just dump the baby in the bath - can't be bothered to wipe all that :)

At night we play it by ear. If the nappy looks full we change, otherwise we rather let them go to sleep. One thing I will brag about with my babies - they are like DOLLS in the middle of the night. Not a peep out of them once they're fed. Plop them down and they're asleep. No rocking, patting, nothing. Again, if there's a poo, immediate change.

Back to the nappies.

So for the month, they cost R650 on special and R860 normal price. Big difference.

To make it easier to compare, let's assume the R/ US$ is still R7,50 to $1. Technically it's around R7,71 (as I was driving home from gym today).

Then we spend $87 on nappies every month.

Is that a bargain? What do you pay for nappies/ diapers in your side of the world? Also how often do you change your baby (ies) ?

P.S. I'm particularly interested to hear from those who cloth diaper.

money and other randomness

I just finished doing our January budget and am happy to report that things are looking up!

I never thought I'd be happy to be paying R5 500 a month on babies but when you put it in context it looks great.

We've now had 6 full months of baby expenses and I'm horrified to say we've spent R52 500.

That's $7 000.

Horrified!

Only God knows where all that money came from because it's definitely not in our monthly expense budget. Oh yes, that's right - my annual bonus at work and a depleted joint savings account!

We had 3 months of between R10 and R12 000 (the night nanny months) but thank God those days are over.

I still exceeded the budget by a couple of hundred but I'm thinking I may have to adjust the budget.

This month I paid the nanny overtime to come in two Saturdays for a few hours each time. This was so I could get some work done and that worked out quite well.

She's also keen (more money for her) so it's win-win.

I may have to do this for a few months while I find my groove working/ babies/ business because I'm getting behind on my household stuff and my freezer meals are running out.


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Cooked up a storm today - mostly baby food (there are now 22 baby meal portions in my freezer, neatly labelled of course) but also some Weigh-Less meals for me. Was totally inspired reading about Sarah's weight loss today and had to get moving on the food while still motivated.


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The other night I decided I needed a treat and ordered myself (and a friend, but she doesn't know) some jewellery on Etsy. Can't WAIT for the pieces to arrive.


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Am reading the Baby Whisperer. Why, oh why, did I not read this book sooner? Am LOVING it.


So... are you having a good week thus far?


P.S. Have decided to go to the Elton John concert - after all, it's on my life list! :)

P.P.S. It's POURING with rain as I type this - LOVELY - and now I'm off to bed.

P.P.P.S. Must blog about the nanny!

Where do your babies sleep?

Like all pregnant women we had a nursery with two cots waiting for our babies and I, knowing nothing, already had rules for the babies.

No babies in our bed and no babies sleeping in our bedroom. Ha!

South African houses are not made for the cold and our lovely, open plan house is freezing cold in winter. Sometimes we think it's warmer outside than inside :)

When Connor came home we put him in their room but we were up and down between our room and theirs the entire night worrying about him literally freezing to death. Remember he was discharged at 1,93 kg so was a tiny, tiny baby.

Eventually I just said to God, "this is Your baby; You protect him" and then I slept without worrying.

Still, the next night we broke my two rules and co-slept with him in a wedge protector thing IN OUR BED for the next 10 days. It became easier to get to him if we kept him with us – also warmer for all!

Then Kendra came home so we dashed out to buy a camp cot (some of you call it a Pack and Play) which we put IN OUR ROOM.

They happily slept like that for about 3 months. During this time Kendra would scream and Connor would sleep through it all. We were amazed at his commitment to his sleep when it seemed the whole neighbourhood woke when Kendra screamed.

One day it all changed.

Connor started waking when she screamed so we moved him to their room mainly so he could get away from Kendra's screaming. Of course they both slept better this way.

On the nights we used to have the night nanny they'd both sleep in their room, no problem. I'm sure they'd wake each other on occasion though.

Eventually they were both sleeping there quite happily until something happened.

I don't know what the something was as is usually the case with the babies. One day something's fine; the next day you'd swear we were trying to kill them.

A few weeks of this craziness - one setting the other off and then still waking for their own feeds and I thought, "oh my word, we need to buy a bigger house to separate these two permanently".

Will we never have any sleep? Will I have to give up my study? Where will all the computers, files, books go?

But we can't afford to buy another house now, not with the twin expenses. Our debt is very low - tiny bond (mortgage) and only one car so I was freaking a bit.

I really hate debt (hence the tiny bond and only the one car to still pay off) so I panic a bit at the thought of paying a big bond again (we've been in this house for 5 years, we only financed about 2/3 of the purchase price and have paid off about 60% of that already... that stopped when we needed to start paying for IVF) even though who wouldn't want a bigger nicer house?!

Somehow I like security of having spare cash more than a tight budget with a lovely big house.

But just as I was about to start calling in estate agents for valuations and so on, things settled down.

Lesson to me - always wait things out for a few weeks before panicking!

We still have the odd night where I separate the quiet one from the niggly one but those are few and far in between. BUT we have moved the camp cot to the guest bedroom now so the niggly one isn't disturbing my sleep (babies are NOISY, especially Connor).

Of course this is not a long-term solution as eventually we will have to move house when we need to move them to their own rooms. I'm hoping only when they're about 4 - 5 years old as I really, really REALLY hate moving house.

Will your house able to serve your family's needs for a long time? If you have twins, what are your plans for sharing rooms vs having their own? And if you have boy/ girl twins, when do you plan to move them to their own rooms?

P.S. the new schedule seems to be working and I'm almost too scared to write this BUT last night they only woke once! K at 12.30 (7-hour stretch) and C at 3.45 (10-hour stretch)

It's 2010

I am sooooooooooo behind on everything I want to tell you because my mother's visiting and is staying in my guest bedroom/ study.

I do have the laptop but to get the best internet speed, it has to be in the entrance hall and I can't very well blog on my anonymous blog with everyone walking back and forth around me........

Anyhow, they're taking a quick nap while supper bakes in the oven (chicken pasta bake) and I've been itching to talk to you so here I am.

As far as New Year's goes we live in one of the most boring cities in the world. I'm from a coastal city originally and EVERYONE goes down to the beachfront on New Year's Eve - there's lights, music, people, fun. It's LOVELY. Here everything closes EARLY on New Year's except for the one or two restaurants that throw those parties which we're not into as we don't drink.

(I just heard D pick K up from her cot and kiss her. He always does that with both kids - picks them up and kisses them. It's so lovely and I don't think he's even aware he does it Every Single Time)

So D and I have a bit of a New Year's ritual. We go to an 8pm movie and then home for coffee (no coffee shops open at 10 - 10.30) to talk through our goals for the year ahead.

This year with the kids I was so pooped I fell asleep in the movie (Julie and Julia - which didn't impress me even before I fell asleep) and then again once we got home. Poor D didn't get to see some last-minute 2009 action :)

Obviously we didn't "bring in the new year" or anything - very boring.

He told me he's not doing goals anymore (this is like someone telling me there's no sun!) as they don't work.

Hello??? Those babies are the result of one of my 2008 goals to get to the bottom of this infertility business and go to the best fertility clinic in SA to get a proper diagnosis and action plan.

Anyway, that's D. Personally I think it's just laziness :)

I saw a cool thing on Saffy's blog which I want to do here - a decade in review - but I'll leave that for yet another post although for now I will leave you with my one word for 2010 - consolidate.

This year I'm going to get back to basics with my health and fitness (oh! I've GAINED 1.7 kg since going back to work. It's those darn scrambled eggs at our canteen - delicious), spiritual life, relationship with D as a husband and wife and not just parents, and get my business back to where it was pre-pregnancy. Although one good thing - I still made more money in 2009 than I did in previous years so even though my visibility is low, what I did was still reasonably effective.

Two great things happened money-wise in the last week - we finally got our tax refund from those two IVFs (we could pay for half of a cycle so I'm happy - money!!!) and I cashed in some shares at work that vested (not taking a chance that I find a better job this year and lose out on that free money) so already our finances are looking a lot healthier.

So what's your theme for 2010?

Back to work - part 1

I have about six weeks before I go back to work...and already I've been off since 7 July (16 weeks today).

In South Africa, an employee is entitled to at least four consecutive months’ maternity leave BUT the company doesn't have to pay you a cent. However, if you're a South African citizen, you can claim something like 45% of your salary from UIF. This amount is capped at about R12 000 or thereabouts.

I'm fuzzy on the % as this doesn't apply to me.

At my company, we get paid 100% of salary for the four months, as long as we've been working there for 13 months by the time you go off on maternity leave.

You with me so far?

So the twins.

I am quite bolshy so I asked them if I get double maternity leave since I'm having twins (!). Hey, it was worth a try. Of course, they said no.

In the beginning of the pregnancy, I was just talking nonsense as I usually do :) but actually I had a point in there somewhere because I hadn't realised how high-risk the pregnancy was.

I had the two bleeding incidents, the doctor told me to work half days from 28 weeks and of course, my waters broke very suddenly at 32 weeks.

I was reluctant to start working half days and going on early maternity leave because I didn't want the before-babies leave to eat into these precious 4 months, or 87 days as my company calls it on our e-leave system.

Saffy told me that in New Zealand, they get 12 months unpaid. 12 months!!!! And if they need to go off work from 28 weeks due to health reasons, it doesn't cut into the 12-month entitlement. How cool is that?

I wish we had that extra maternity sick leave too – maybe I could have kept them in longer if I’d stopped work properly at 28 weeks? I could feel at 30 weeks that I was DONE and really should have started proper maternity leave then but as I said if you take your leave early, you simply cut short your time with the baby(ies)/. It’s terrible.

Anyway, I have a fabulous boss. Seriously fabulous.

This pic was taken at my work baby shower and that's my boss in the middle, laughing with a mouth full of food :)

Other than my husband and then my friends from the infertility support group, he has been my biggest supporter through this whole crazy journey.

He knew every single thing about the whole IVF process. We have the kind of relationship where I could say to him "don't ask me anything; I'll tell you when I'm ready" and I would. This is when I was a bit teary at my desk....

So when I mentioned to other female colleagues that the doctor said I have to take things even easier, he overheard and immediately said, "well, from tomorrow, you'll be working half days".

Just like that; no fighting.

My plan was to take my 87 days (!) and then add on my 18 days annual leave and also take a few days' unpaid leave up until the end of Dec and go back in January.

But when the twins came early, the plan got messed up (the first of many plans!). I obviously took off the first four hospital days as maternity leave. But then after that I told him I'd work from home while they were in NICU and he was fine with that.

So now I have to technically go back on 18 December because we decided that it's just not worth taking half the month as unpaid and losing thousands of rands seeing as the babies are so expensive.

My boss then said to me, "well come in on the 18th, show your face (n.b.) and sort out your emails and so on, and then work from home the rest of the month"

Is he not a winner boss?

As I said, fabulous!!!


By the way, there's never been any question in my mind of going back to work or not...but I will have to save all that thinking for another post as this is my contribution for the 30-minute blog challenge and 25 minutes are up!

P.S. The babies are 16 weeks today. Now getting very cute :)

Look at all this hair & other randomness

So Trina finally had her baby - the last one of all of us who were due around the same time.

And WOW, what a beauty. She has TONS OF HAIR - I am so jealous since I was completely bald until I was two years old :)


Some other random stuff

• Thanks for all the advice on the fussy eaters post. Kendra was switched to lactose-free formula at their last paed appt on 11 Sept. I bought the small tin and she finished that in 4 days without any improvement. In fact, looking over my notes (yes, I'm keeping The Notebook again!), she actually got a bit fussier with her eating. I phoned the paed who said she can go back on normal Nan 1 again as I should have seen an improvement within a couple of feeds if she was allergic. So, back to square 1. I am going to google silent reflux and phone up again if it sounds like K.
  
• I just did the budget this morning and paid the nanny and night nanny. My word - it's depressing seeing all your hard-earned cash go in one fell sweep. One minute thousands in bank account, 10 minutes later nothing :(
• Have to focus on fact that I'm sleeping 8 - 9 nights every month!
• Am seriously in awe of people (especially people in South Africa where help is reasonably priced) who do without nannies. My one friend with 11-month-old boy/girl TWINS sent me a text to say they did it all themselves. I was like "you are a ROCK STAR!" Cannot believe it!
• D & I are both not well - scratchy throat, etc. I have been chugging down the orange juice and vitamin C and am better today, but still not 100%, so I skipped gym. He went to the doc and is now in bed, booked off for two days - poor thing.
• Speaking of skipping gym, I stopped for 10 days and my old knees were much, much better. So have decided to take it easier and only go twice a week. Clearly too much exercise is not good for a 35-year-old mother of twins!
  
• In response to this post on infertility support, we've decided to start a fertility babies group - I am the co-ordinator and all things are motoring along nicely.
• Am very sad about the three negative results that I know of in the blogosphere. It just breaks my heart - seriously.

And let me end off with a funny!

This morning I was holding Kendra during suicide hour. She started fussing despite seeming like she was done eating. D says, "she looks hungry", so sure enough I put the bottle in her mouth and she starts sucking away. So I said, "how do you know when she's hungry?" and he tells me (she does something with her head and has a different cry - I was seriously impressed!). So then I ask, "and how do you know when Connor's hungry?" D says, "HE'S BREATHING"

Hahahah

Poor boy! Naughty Dad!

Sleep and nanny update

K in a sling at the audiologist

C on the nanny's lap

We are sleeping much better thanks to the night nanny. We are in our routine now with Mabel here Mondays and Thursdays, and then while I'm on maternity leave, the day nanny has Fridays off but comes Friday evening to night nanny.

This means D and I have been able to do some stuff as well as get some sleep.

Mondays we just totally sleep as after the entire weekend of looking after babes we are knackered. Also remember we are 35 and 39, not in the flushes of youth :)

Thursdays our intention is to go to gym as she arrives (just before 7pm) and then come home to sleep. So far D has managed this; I can't quite think what I've been doing - I think blogging and getting ready for the next day.

Fridays is our new date night. We go to a movie or out to supper at one of the many shopping centres near where we live (not more than 5 km away - we are very blessed to stay quite centrally) and then come home to sleep.

My goal is to be in bed by 10pm; asleep by 11pm. So far so good.

My only concern is that we're getting really used to the night nanny; how will I be able to give her up? Well, aside from the small matter of finances.........

I was in denial about all the money we've been spending and it is A LOT. I could pay for an IVF with ICSI every 3 months........

But I put on my big girl panties and Did The Budget. That means I figured out how much we can actually spend out of our normal salaries vs what has to come from savings.

So while it is not pleasant to look at (I twitch sometimes thinking about The Money - good thing D doesn't do the budget - he freaks out far more easily than I do) at least I can now deal with it.

I said to a work friend that my bonus this year (we got a bonus in August) is going on NANNIES!

Ridiculous - in years past we went travelling to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Australia, UK, Ireland and then last year we used it for one IVF. She kindly reminded me that I have to do whatever it takes to survive this initial period. True!

And on my to-do list today is "Complete Income Tax Return" so we can get some money back from SARS and replenish that ever-dwindling savings account.

Best I get moving on that......