Today the pregnant one announced that she has 3 weeks and a couple of days before she goes off on maternity leave. So my one colleague whispers to me, “we need to do something for her” meaning a baby shower.
Well, I was caught off guard but I said, “yes, I’ve got to talk to you about that sometime”.
So I was making coffee in the kitchen thinking about what and how I’m going to talk to her when she came up from the other side, also to get some tea.
So I said, “I was just thinking about you. I actually don’t even know what to say or how to explain” and then it happened… I started crying. Right there. In the kitchen.
At least I eventually stopped and explained that since I’m infertile and have been trying for over two years, it is really hard to be around happy fertile people. And as a result, I will not be helping out as I have to do whatever it takes to protect me. And I won’t be coming to the baby shower.
To her credit, she was great. She apologized for being insensitive (which she wasn’t, as I’ve never mentioned any of this to her).
At least that’s over for now.
Do you think I’m weird? Should I have just plastered a smile on my face and “got on with it”?
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i dont think its weird to FEEL that way. but i honestly do think you should participate. i can't even imagine how hard it is but i dont think its healthy at all for you to seclude yourself because you are infertile. i think you can still find a medium between being happy for others that are able to conceive and still be upset that you cant. and still have faith that you WILL one day. you know?
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