A few months ago my friend, Sasha, asked me if the kids don't cry when I leave for work.
And I said, "no, never. should they?" :)
There was a really fleeting moment when I thought, "hmm, maybe there's something wrong with them?" but mostly I thought, "thank goodness they're so secure with V".
Well, friends, that has all changed.
The last two weeks Connor has HOWLED when I leave.
Usually they're playing near the door anyway and I say "bye", Kendra waves, Connor ignores me and I leave.
These days Connor starts crying like his whole life has just ended.
I didn't realise how bad it was because V didn't tell me but on Saturday, I went to a women's conference at our church and D looked after the babies in the morning.
When I got there I phoned D (I always do that because I am very good at getting lost) and he told me that Connor WAILED for 5 minutes non-stop after I left.
!
Well, I got home at about 3 and after playing with the babies, I wanted to dash out quickly to return some things so I took Connor to V and told her I wasn't going to say "bye" but would just leave quietly.
So Connor was fine.
Kendra, on the other hand, was playing in the sunroom. I pulled the security gate closed and the two of us played kissing games through the security bars.
Eventually I said "bye" and got in my car to leave.
Complete meltdown, this time by Kendra.
Oh my word.
Looks like this is the new thing because this morning the same thing happened.
I started reversing my car down the driveway and both of them held onto the security gates, WAILING!
They are making it very hard to leave.
Do you have this going on? How do you deal with it? Does it help to kiss and hug a lot before or does it make it worse?
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I've also been asked about this. But at the moment when I drop C of at daycare he cannot wait to get out of my arms and onto the floor. He gets real excited when I fetch him in the afternoon though - crawls up to me real fast etc. But we have not had any crying when I leave. He is going to be one soon - so I would have thought this is something that would have happened by now if it were going to. But seems to me now that that's not necessarily the case!
ReplyDeleteI've read that you're supposed to tell them that you're leaving, give each one a kiss, and remind them that you'll be back soon. I don't know if it makes a difference though b/c there are skid marks on my path out the door. I'm a quick exit-er b/c I hate to see them sad that I'm leaving. I know that they'll survive, but it makes me a little sad! And it's all about me, right?
ReplyDeleteThis is part of my current problem with C - all of a sudden we are where we were 2 years ago = crying when mommy goes.
ReplyDeleteWe find that waving goodbye at the car helps.
Wow, I don't have this problem. But everything you have we have 2 weeks later...so let me know what you do. When I do leave they never notice or care, I just say bye and waltz out the door. If they are left with strangers/unfamiliar places(like at my cousins' house) there is a show but they are rarely away from home.
ReplyDeleteI just had a long, wordy comment typed and blogger ate it! : (
ReplyDeleteBasically, I said I think it's a normal separation anxiety/attachment thing at this stage. My girls rarely cry when I'm leaving them with my mom or other close family, but sometimes they surprise me. We follow the "quick-hug-kiss-leave" method... the longer you delay the goodbye, the harder it becomes. : )
My girls went through a period of separation anxiety at age 17 months. Fortunately, it only lasted a couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteWhen they're older, you can have them physically push you out the door. It's such a fun game that they forget that you'll be gone at the end of it!
I think it's a stage. The boys don't get left at daycare. They get left in our living room, LOL. But recently, they've begun noticing sometimes when I say goodbye and leave in the morning and they will start crying after I've left the room. i know they're OK in a few minutes. I'm grateful to know they love me!
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